hi my name is bella

“When an earthquake occurs some of the energy released from the sudden fracturing of rock is transferred to the rocks nearby, which adds to the pushing, pulling, and twisting stresses already placed on them. When these stresses are too much for the rocks to bear, they break as well, releasing a new round of pent-up energy and creating new faults in the rock. In this way, earthquakes beget aftershocks, and aftershocks beget smaller-and-smaller aftershocks.”

this is pulled directly from a britannica article by john p. rafterty, a science writer who kind of created poetry here for me to work off. thank you for your service john, your contributions will not go unnoticed or unnamed by me.

it begins with the earthquake itself (the focus of part 1). some can and will argue that it was a toss up between usa and canada. a true match of equals. in some ways, that is true—in hockey debatably, not in strength of character.

i digress. i’m not here to debate that. what matters is this: from what i read and saw, the canadian men’s hockey team thought it was theirs to win or to lose. not in an egotistical way, but in a deep-seated belief and truth that they were better and the gold was owed to them, they just needed to reach out and take it. it was theirs if they earned it and it was theirs in a worse way if they didn’t.

and in the end, it’s not really about that. this is my narrative in the willmack tag on tumblr: this is about macklin celebrini. newly crowned boyking who, for better or for worse, internally or externally, bought into this belief with his whole heart as he is often to do and placed all of the weight on his weary shoulders. that’s a lot of heavy, heavy rock that was shaken loose by a rupture in the plates.

i could link the images and videos of him in the aftermath, but the truth is we’ve all seen it. the truth is he was shattered. and earthquakes beget aftershocks.

let’s go back to john’s words: “the energy released from the sudden fracturing of rock is transferred to the rocks nearby”

the rocks nearby: well, i can think of one giant slab of carefully sculpted marble that certainly felt the energy released. wcps, his rock.

it is clearly evident in the events of just the day of the gold medal match itself, speak not of the days following (which i will in due time). i could write clever phrases about the americanness of one william smith, but it’s as unnecessary to repeat as it is true. if you had to boil him down to one character trait, i believe it would be loyalty. on that day, his fealty was to mack. a repost of a memorial is all he had to show for outward celebration for his country and, even further, for the national team he belongs to, bled with, breathes.

okay maybe i did do a little poetry here because it is beautiful to me. here is a team, a brotherhood he broke himself for (LITERALLY. see: USNTDP lore here thank you to @lovethelittlerthings for putting this in the tag a few days ago, credit also to the author of the primers who i’m sure put blood sweat and tears into the series, but never tagged willmack so im respecting that! your work is invaluable). and his higher priority was macklin celebrini. will, a rock nearby, was also breaking under the pressure of the uprooting and shakeup of mack’s very core.

we have a few clues as to what happened to mack that day. but, to be honest, it’s not hard to picture the fallout from what we know of him: a boy who wants really, really hard and has never gotten anything a la a gold medal to show for it. just add it to his fucking tab of failed accomplishments. our collective hearts parasocially broke for him, the nation grieved. but that was for just what we saw on the surface and could infer. i don’t want to imagine the devastation those who know him got to see.

but as i said, we get clues. like the interview from his father rick celebrini in which he calls mack “inconsolable.”

“He was upset, he was upset at himself, he was upset at the results.”

the other clues come from macklin himself in a presser a few days later after coming back to the bay. he called the experience “bitter” and “sour.” and he also addresses his sjs teammates’ reactions, saying that the team group chat was quiet. someone piped up and asked about will. interestingly, it was a very quiet follow up question that i had to rewind the video several times to pick up: “anything from smitty?” (timestamp around 9 minutes)

“no uh he just said—” a pause “—he just asked how i was doing.”

several things to note here:

a) “no uh” — was it just a knee jerk reaction to an invasive question? an instinctive downplay?

b) “he just said—” pause. it wasn’t very long if you check out the clip, but enough for him to calibrate what an acceptable answer would be.

c) “he just asked how i was doing” that phrase, a normal reaction to a friend going through a hard time, and the word “just” is doing a lot of work here in my humble opinion.

“upset,” “inconsolable,” “bitter.” the pause. the recalibration. the significance of him answering the aside question about will seriously after laughing off the other sharks’ responses as them “going back to bed.”

what can we feasibly conclude with little to no stretch of the facts we know? if we took mack’s answer at full truth and will’s documented actions that day, we can see that will braced for the aftershocks. showing his loyalty clearly and proving he can be a safe space for mack to land when he’s ready.

on the flip side, what can we conclude if we stretch our knowledge a bit and extrapolate based on what will and mack’s dynamic is known to be, especially from the load bearing rick c quote: “I think Macklin—he needs both. He needs balance … His friendship with Will now, it’s so good for him.”?

it’s true that we don’t know much about the relationship between the celebrini family and will smith, even going so far as i don’t think i’ve ever seen a picture of any of the family members with will or willmack together. but im a perpetual tumblr lurker who can’t forget the rumor about a possible joint easter celebration, how important family is to both sides of the duo, and the stated summer break vancouver trip that has yet to happen. the only confirmed tidbit im aware of is that will is one of the only NHL players associated with mack that rick follows on instagram. is that enough to say any kind of certainty that there was some kind of phone call between rick and will? perhaps not.

but we’re extrapolating here—expanding on small details to suggest something bigger. with the potential connection between will and rick, the infamous “release” descriptor, the “he just asked how i was doing,” the knowledge that they call often when not together and at least once during the olympics, it’s plausible to say they had contact that day. that will was part of the inner circle experiencing the grief with mack’s family—carrying some of the “energy released.”

you know the idiom: don’t build a mountain out molehill? this isn’t a molehill. this is hand-delivered building material for a cathedral. and this is only one day of the week of the aftershocks.

if you read this far, thank you. i have so much more to say. this series will cover infamous events such as the joint post, whatever happened between the flames and oilers games (with an absolutely necessary question of “did wsh sleep at all during the olympic break?” being asked), and “he’s going to come back and realize i’m not mcdavid.” looking forward to getting that out to you all soon. in the meantime, let’s all hold hands and form a prayer circle for canadian gold at worlds. xoxo

if you’re unfamiliar, the relationship between catcher and pitcher is arguably the most important on the field because the catcher is the one who’s responsible for calling the pitches. they are the ones who keep a pitcher grounded, know which pitches are hitting on a certain day, study the inner mechanisms of their pitcher’s game, etc. there’s a reliance on each other because a) the catcher is not the flashy part of the game but b) the pitcher needs their catcher to shine.

there’s some parts of the dynamic that really work with hockey willmack as well where mack is more physical (ie the one doing the pitching) and will is more cerebral (ie the one calling the pitches, planning the game approach carefully)

it’s a very underrated part of baseball, in my humble opinion, and one that would work incredibly well with the willmack dynamic: one half of the pairing that shines brighter than the other, but if you know where to look, it’s only possible because of the other half.

there’s so many possibilities for angst: catchers typically get less credit than they’re owed for their part in pitching gems, catchers work with more than one pitcher (5 day rotation—will smith brunette harem anyone?), obvious vet/rookie tension, etc.

i can see it all so clearly it’s driving me insane! star rookie mack who needs catcher will to keep him in the game, to be confident and proud of him even when he’s not, to know him inside and out, and catch him when he falls. to be the duo in a larger organization that’s essential to both the team and their individual successes.