Mostly Mormor

money? yeah, you’re gonna spend it all on useless things like excessive amounts of food and clothes in hope of making yourself feel better. then you’ll regret it five minutes later

 you hate yet love everyone and everything. hate. love. hate. love. it’s a never ending, exhausting cycle of intense emotions. there’s no in between

someone doesn’t respond to your message in ten minutes? it’s time to make dramatic assumptions. do they suddenly hate you? are they dead? 

you’re slightly inconvenienced? it’s time to commit suicide

all your relationships fail and you just can’t seem to figure out why

 you feel like everyone is the same. you see the same pattern over and over again in your relationships and your friends

you feel happy for once? well guess what, in about seven minutes you’ll feel like throwing yourself into traffic because Johnny didn’t want to share his pencil with you

nothing is worse than the overbearing feeling of emptiness that follows you daily and haunts you like a ghost

you’re constantly angry. just the idea of someone breathing in your vicinity is infuriating 

baths? did you mean: self-harm hours? 

everyone is against you including yourself

who is that in the mirror? is that me? Why do I look like that? I can’t recognize myself

 i’m sorry, what did you say? repeat yourself again. and again. sorry, i didn’t hear you. again. repeat yourself for the fifth time, i wasn’t paying attention i guess

you’re useless unless you’re perfect

therapy? no

 oh, is that a character I relate to? let me obsess over them for the next nine months

 you’re the most evil and horrible person you know, yet simultaneously the most pure and naïve person you know

you feel like the devil when you say no to someone

how about I split on my best friend for the eighth time today for absolutely no reason!

am I abusive? am I like my abusers?

 they said something that seemed weird to me… are they going to leave me? Is this the end? Is this all there is? Should I leave them? Maybe I’ll just disappear

you hardly remember anything from before the age of 10

nothing is real. we’re all going to die. nothing matters.

Jim: No, you don't. Get out.

Richard: It's serious! I think I'm in love!

Jim: I couldn't care less about that, my dear, and I'm busy. Maybe come back when you are sure so I can tell you it'll pass?

Richard: It's driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about his deep sky-blue eyes, his strong ex-military arms, that playful grin and, oh MY GOD, I even like the way he holds a gun! That's insane!

Jim: [suddenly tensing up] Who are you talking about?

Richard: Ah, you know him, Jim. He's one of your men. You must remember him as Moran.

Jim:

Richard: Yeah, I know it's unexpected-

Jim: No.

Richard: What?

Jim: You can't be in love with him!

Richard: Yeah, of course, totally controllable thing! Sorry, but it's too late now. I'm already head over heels for him. I even chose the name of our future dog, like, an hour ago-

Jim: I SAID YOU CAN'T!

Richard: But-

Jim: He can't be with you! He can't! Stay away from Sebastian!

Richard: I-

Richard: I was talking about Severin.

Jim: [too astonished to function] What?

Richard: Severin. Sebastian's brother? You know him, Jim. You see the two of them almost everyday.

Richard: Why do I need to stay away from Sebastian, though? What did you mean?

Jim: I-

Jim: Nothing. Forget it. Get out, I need to work.

Richard: [already on the doorway] You know, you really shouldn't worry.

Jim: [sighing] About what?

Richard: Sebastian.

Jim:

Richard: I mean, me and you, we look almost the same.

Richard: But he never looks at me the way he looks at you.

Richard: Or at anyone else, for that matter.

Jim: I don't know what you're talking about.

Richard: [smiling] He said the same when I pointed that out.

Richard: You're both idiots and my new goal in life is to be like neither of you.

Mormor- Our little moments

Jim: *grabs Sebastian's arm and smiles*

Sebastian: "Okay, now I'm worried for me."

first off: yes, you little babies, maladaptive daydreaming is often characterized by:

zoning out

“snapping back” to reality

which is often followed by mild alarm and confusion like “what where am i what am i doing whats going on”

seeking emotional satisfaction in daydreams that you didn’t get from real life

it’s often developed due to childhood isolation, not having a lot of friends, having too much time to yourself as a youngling

yep also those bless-ed long car rides

being deeply comforted by music and/or alone time because it means yay daydreaming time

intricate stories that exist inside vivid imaginary worlds (called paracosms) with their own highly developed “characters” (which are called paras, and i hope you’re taking notes) 

constantly looking for an “escape” so you can daydream

repetitive motions to stimulate daydreams such as swinging on a swingset, bouncing up and down, pacing, spinning, etc.

an idealized version of yourself through whose eyes you live out these daydream stories (called parames, like para-me…)

BUT!!!! but but but but but but (and this is the stuff y'all seem to constantly be forgetting/overlooking/not taking seriously) maladaptive daydreaming is also characterized by:

deep and dependent emotional attachments to paras such as intimate friends, lovers, family, and pets that don’t exist

deep guilt due to favoring paras over “real life” (called thisverse) people

a phobia that you will never be able to care about people in thisverse and will therefore be a terrible lover/spouse/parent, etc.

trancelike states where you lose time anywhere between a few minutes to several hours straight without even realizing it until you’ve returned to reality

maladaptive daydreaming steals so. much. time.

withdrawal-like effects if you don’t daydream for a long time (even a day), such as shaking, nausea, agitation, aggression, breakdowns, etc.

you don’t control your daydreams, they do whatever they want to, they are invasive, intrusive, and often unwanted

intense absorption, so when the daydream is exciting you will get an adrenaline rush and your blood gets hot and starts to rush and you sweat and breathe weird and see red and your heart rate goes up. when the daydream is depressing you will cry with real tears and your limbs actually feel heavy

it steals an incredible amount of energy

daydreams are often violent, sexual, and/or disturbing

difficulty focusing, high anxiety

paranoia caused by a feeling that you’re under observation

compulsive behavior (like, “i have to pace right now” even when your feet feel like they’re broken… I’ve often been afraid to look down because i thought i might see blood but i couldn’t stop walking even when it hurt so much that i started crying)

sleeplessness, insomnia, nightmares

suicidal thoughts and tendencies (“maybe if i die, i’ll be with my paras”, “i can’t take it anymore”)

feeling uncomfortable in your body/with your identity (i often have trouble recalling my real name because i’m so used to be my parame’s name, i avoid mirrors because i expect to see my parame’s face and it always catches me off guard)

weight loss or weight gain

appetite loss or appetite gain

dissociation and “out of body” experiences

avoidance and the death of your social life

not being able to feel anything either neg or pos about “real life” things because you’re only concerned with your paracosms

speaking the dialogue out loud or whispering, acting out daydreams

i have seriously been asked if i’m possessed when i got caught daydreaming

“I want us to try nutmeg to get high my sexy hitman.”Jim purred as he stood across the counter holding out too steaming cups Sebastian licked his lips seductively and crept forward, snatching the nutmeg and dumping it in his mouth with one big swalllow