Yer Donuts Make Me Go Nutz

Warriors paced in front of the door, trying to gain his composure so he could speak to Legend. He needed to be calm and quiet. He wouldn’t be surprised if Legend was wary of him or even angry at him. Heck, he had told the vet to let his anger overtake his fear. It had made things easier then, but Warriors wasn’t excited to deal with the consequences now. Had he shattered their still-fragile trust? Would Legend look at him and see nothing but a man who forced him to go through fear and pain in the name of “for his own good”?

Warriors stopped in his tracks and forced himself to take a deep breath. He had to stop catastrophizing. This was why he was going to talk to Legend. They were going to listen to each other’s explanations. Warriors had to believe that they would figure things out.

He remembered what he had said to Four. “Delay isn’t good.” Yet here he was, delaying this conversation. He sighed and knocked on the door of Legend’s room.

“Yeah?” Legend said softly, but loud enough for Warriors to hear. “Come in.”

Warriors slipped into the room and closed the door behind him. Legend sat on the bed, his uninjured arm wrapped around Red. The little smith was tucked comfortably against Legend, hugging him even as he slept. Legend looked up and was clearly surprised to see Warriors. His ears flicked back the tiniest bit, but he tried to conceal the movement by glancing back down at Red.

“How are you doing?” Warriors asked, glancing at Legend’s shoulder. The bandages were clean and well-wrapped. With the help of some potion, it would only be a few days before they could remove then entirely.

Legend brushed Red’s hair away from his face. He was avoiding eye contact now. “Fine.”

Warriors dragged a chair over, sitting beside the bed. “Does your arm hurt?”

“Only a little.”

Warriors’ voice grew gentler. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

He fought the urge to fidget with his hands. “Are you afraid of me?”

Legend sighed. “…No.”

Warriors relaxed a little, relieved at his brother’s genuine tone. “I won’t hold it against you if you are. I know that wasn’t the best experience.”

“No kidding,” Legend huffed.

“I know this probably just sounds like empty words, but I’m sorry. I really am. I know we didn’t have any other choice but I feel horrible for what I had to do. You were scared, and angry, and hurting, and all I had to do was fix that but I couldn’t even do that. So I understand if I made things worse, or-”

“Wars.” Finally, Legend looked at him, violet eyes swirling with too many emotions for Warriors to identify just one. “I… You helped a lot. I don’t know how, or why, but you did. I can’t decide how I feel about it, but… you don’t have to feel guilty for what you did.”

“Thank you, Lege. And you don’t have to know how you feel, yet. You’re allowed to have conflicting feelings until you’re ready. And if you never decide, that’s okay too.”

“Why are you helping me?” Legend blurted out. “Why did you waste time trying to calm me down? Why didn’t you just hold me down and get it over with? Why aren’t you downstairs, telling everybody about how hilariously pathetic I am? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Wait, what?” Warriors froze, taking a few seconds to adjust to Legend’s sudden outburst. “Legend, I- what did you expect me to do? Did you really think that I would treat you that badly?”

“Yes… no? I don’t know. I just- I don’t understand why you’re talking to me instead of making fun of me. Why do you care so much about how I’m feeling? What does it even matter?”

“You’re my brother, Lege, of course I care about you. I would never make fun of you for being afraid. I respect your courage and I don’t expect you to be perfect.”

“Shouldn’t you, though? Why wouldn’t you expect a flawless, fearless hero?”

“Because that’s just not possible,” Warriors said gently. “I don’t expect that of any of my men, and I don’t expect that of any of my brothers. So why do you expect it of yourself?”

“Because-” Legend paused as Red mumbled and stirred, then blinked his eyes open.

“Oops, did I fall asleep?” Red yawned, then noticed Warriors sitting patiently beside the bed. “Oh! I can leave if you need privacy-”

“No!” Legend quickly pulled Red closer, then relaxed his hold when Red’s breath was squeezed out of him with an oof. “Sorry. Um. Stay here, please?”

Red smiled at him and snuggled back into a comfortable position. “Of course! I can be quiet.”

“I was just asking Legend why he expects perfection of himself,” Warriors explained.

“That’s what I’m meant to be, though,” Legend protested. “I can move past any fear that comes during my quests. I fought Ganon for the first time when I was twelve. And this is what I can’t get over?”

“Your fear doesn’t have to be as logical as the next,” Warriors pointed out. “I know men just like you who can run into hundreds of battles and still panic in the presence of the medic. It doesn’t matter how old or experienced you are-”

“I was a child,” Legend spat. He took a moment to compose himself and quietly repeated, “I was a child. It was a few years before my first quest. An adult- don’t remember who, they may have been a parent. I know it wasn’t my uncle- brought me to the doctor. I was scared out of my mind, treated it like the end of the world.”

Warriors wondered if he should stop Legend’s rant before he regretted saying something too personal. “Wait, Lege- You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want to.”

Legend sighed. “If it helps you understand why I’m like this, I think I need to. …So, obviously I didn’t go willingly. I tried to fight back, even though I didn’t really have any training yet. My parent and… I don’t know, maybe three nurses… pinned me to the table. I screamed and begged for mercy and they just told me to calm down.”

“That’s horrible!” Red cried, already on the verge of tears. “How could they do that to a scared kid?”

“I remember being told that it was for my own good,” Legend said. “It was supposed to be a one-time thing and I blew it way out of proportion. Maybe, if I hadn’t fought back, this fear would be gone by now. And it’s far from the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve been adventuring almost my whole life and I still act like a child every time I need stitches or- or whatever. So. That’s why I’m like this, but I know that I have no reason to be this way. What’s a bad day at the doctor compared to what I’ve seen and done on my quests?” He paused for an empty laugh before his final, self-deprecating statement. “So yeah, I know I’m not perfect. I can’t be perfect. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Warriors was struck speechless for a moment that lasted too long. He stared at Legend, searching for words that wouldn’t aggravate the vet even more. Legend silently waited for an answer, stubbornly challenging Warriors’ gaze. It was Red who finally spoke, and the older two broke eye contact to look down at the little smith.

“Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that,” Red said, his voice the most serious Warriors had ever heard it. “None of that was your fault.” Legend opened his mouth to protest, but Red cut him off. “None of it. Did anybody give you an actual way to keep calm? Were you allowed to bring a comfort item or hugged or taught how to breathe and picture yourself elsewhere?”

“What- no?”

“So when you acted accordingly because you were threatened with pain, the adults went right to physical restraint. They didn’t do anything to help your panic.”

“Yeah, like I said, they were trying to get it over with as fast as possible-”

“That’s not an excuse,” Warriors said.

“No, it’s not,” Legend agreed. “But that’s what happened.”

“And it wasn’t your fault,” Red repeated firmly.

“How can you just say that?” Legend protested. “How do you know that I wasn’t just acting like a dumb kid?”

“How do you know that you were?” Warriors countered.

“Because I-” Legend faltered, and Red took the opportunity to speak over the vet’s silence.

“Kids do dumb things all the time. It’s up to the adults to make it right. Yours didn’t, and you’ve been through a lot of pain because of it.” Angry tears welled in Red’s eyes and he turned to hug Legend tight, hiding his face in the process.

Legend absently held the smith close and looked to Warriors for guidance.

“As much as I wish we could, we can’t fix what happened in the past,” the captain stated.

“What’s done is done,” Legend agreed. “But knowing you, you have some big plan already. So… what do we do?”

“We come to terms with what happened before. You don’t have to forgive anyone or feel guilty about it, but we’ll help you accept it for what it is and figure out how to move on from there. Now that we know about this, we can plan for the future. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I can teach you coping techniques and offer support however you need it. Red too, and whoever else you want to tell.” Warriors realized that he was rambling, and stopped himself before he overwhelmed the kid further. “That’s a lot to take in right now, though, especially since you’re still recovering. You don’t have to worry about any of that yet. Just sit tight and I’ll get you another potion. And I think Hyrule wants to see you if you’re up to it.”

Legend nodded, clearly worn out from the conversation. Warriors stood and ruffled Red’s hair, then patted Legend’s uninjured shoulder.