Lt. Commander Data's Private Log

Hiatus undetermined. I’ve got 4 fucking midterms and classes are picking up. If you want my Skype/number (only if you know me well enough) hit me up here or @ameerkatofficial where I’ll actually be logged on, but yeah I’ve got too much going on in my real life to deal with anything here. goodbye.

“bro, you look so cute right now. dude, you are so fucking adorable.”

“wanna watch this murder documentary with me?”

“i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there’s a 900% chance i’ll cry.”

“i may act like I’m clueless but actually know what’s going on at al times.”

“attention: i need attention.”

“i don’t have a nervous system. i’m a nervous system.”

“drugs? no thanks, the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder.”

“i think i’m subconsciously trying to ruin my own life.”

“why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?”

“i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole.”

“i don’t want to look ‘pretty’, i want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening.”

“i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know.”

“girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. i don’t remember what i was going to say but i’m just gay.“

“i’d love to relax but that’s just not realistic.”

“contrary to popular belief i’m actually soft and have feelings.”

“this could be less hetero.”

“to be honest i just need a hug.”

“why can’t I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?”

“this is it, this is how i die: lack of attention.”

“are we just friends or is this flirting serious?”

“i have this problem where i isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because i’m lonely.”

“i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.”

“i don’t wanna get involved in drama i just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened.”

“i am bysexual as in i’m not interested, goodbye.”

“i could win an olympic gold medal in being ignored.”

“fill your heart with bees. if someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees.”

“i’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.”

“i panic a lot of other places besides the disco.”

“which layer of hell do you think you’re going to?”

“my kink is being right.”

“my kink is being home alone.”

“you’re really sensitive for a selfish asshole.”

“i can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, i have a big heart and can’t treat people badly, that’s just not me.”

“what about netflix and kill?”

“no offense but why does everyone hate me?”

“i’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need no social life.”

“why do i get struggles instead of snuggles?”

“if a conversation goes on too long without being about me, i’m out.”

“i’m small, queer and something to fear.”

“all this sadness is bad for my skin.”

“i’m cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive”

“i’m beautiful and underappreciated.”

“she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s me.”

“sorry for being awesome, loser.”

Sometimes Riker gets so passionate about making sure people treat Data respectfully that he ends up yelling at Data about treating Data respectfully.

Get you a friend like Riker.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

The bar was walked into by a passive voice.

A split infinitive used to often walk into a bar.

There is a bar which a preposition-ended sentence walked into.

An emphatic copula did walk into a bar.

but since Jim didn’t die, spock satisfied his Pon Farr with him, AND he did no frickle frackle with T’Pring, for all intents and purposes, Jim and Spock are canonically married by Vulcan law.

And idk I just picture that the next time T’Pau calls spock she’s just like “and how fares your husband” and spock is just like “hold up what husband.”

T’Pau: “your husband. James Kirk.”

Spock: “gRANDMOTHER THE CAPTAIN IS NOT MY HUSBAND. YOU ARE MIXING UP THE ENGLISH WORDS AGAIN.”

like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night

and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son

“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up

it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”

“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”

all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted