The Little Love Space

@thelittlelovespace

Everybody goes through a break up wether its your high school sweetheart or the the one who really wasn't even your boyfriend or girlfriend but besides that we all need a guide on how to successfully break up and move on. This is THE guide to successfully break up.

Stop spending your energy into replaying what happened.

your success is the revenge.

ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT (custody reasons is the exception etc..)

every time you miss them think of a bad thought of them

pretend they died

unfollow their friends or family

allow yourself to suffer

Have a support system

Go out

Get hobbies, revisit old activities

throw out anything that reminds you of them (everything holds energy)

envision cutting chords from them.

Virtues:

amnesia+ nostalgia= enemy

do not let your pain and mistreatment go in vain

I must not let nostalgia entrap me

your success is the revenge

Repetition is key

psychology:

understanding why a person is the way they are really helps you move past the idealization of them and see them of who they are be aware of it and move on and forgive.

get under the psychology why a person is the way the are.

why humans behave the way they do,

what projection is

how childhood affects people

insecurities manifesting into relationships

why people test your limits

why you allow people to disrespect you

In this period of your life you have to go crazy a little to move through it

HALT it, journal it, talk your ass off if you have to,sob!

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ill be honest with you guys because I value authenticity, I sent a drunk text or three to my ex and not because the break up guide didn't work but because I forgot one of the most important virtues of the break up guide, repetition is key !! dont stop implementing the break up guide rules just because you feel like you moved on, missing them will come back less and less. You will go from thinking about them every single day like a crazy then for their name to be brought up and it dosent hurt as much anymore.

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take care of your physical

workout!

get a new hair color

spend energy on skincare and grooming

get hot asf honestly

sense of style

hygiene

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(this is a big one) listen to self help on social media rather then depressing videos

clean your living space

create an alter ego and make a list of how they live and what the value and implement that in your life.

love yourself and get in touch with yourself and unpack all your shame and trauma

forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now hun.

its 2:40 am and here is my take on fear and racism; correlation or not?

humans came from different tribes and ate different animals, seasoned their food in different ways and even hunted differently- surviving in various methods. humans are biologically deep rooted to fear the unknown. fear uncertainty, to protect their family and fundamentally survive. they did so by fighting for resources to stay alive even if that meant depriving other groups of their own.

its natural to be scared of uncertainty

what not natural is to be racist

Certain individuals took that fear and instead of unpacking what it meant they demonized and grew hatred for people who look different from them.

if you think about it, its a psychological disorder.

to think that a certain group of the human race is below you.

that bird must refuse the bare minimum that dose not align with who she is or who she wants to become! that bird must be faced with "almost perfect" and refuse it and not settle!

when experiencing moments of confusion that bird must have a moment of clarity and silence without the chirps of others to know that whats meant for you wouldn't leave you feeling confused! that bird must recreate moments of happiness and contentment. that bird must keep pursuing passion over crumbs.

the bird has grown tired of living in the cage and must fly free towards whats closer then ever.

all it takes is one leap of faith even if the bird feels more faithless then ever. that bird should never worry of how their journey looks to other birds but only value their own ambitions and passions and growth.

what is the price?

As soon as women are in the womb, society has already written the script of her life as they did with generations of women before her-

She doesn’t have the autonomy to decide if she wants to wear dresses or even if she wants to take care of baby dolls. society has conditioned us to accommodate to the standards of womanhood and sacrifice and bend to accept the narrative they have forced upon us. While doing so they rape our autonomy, our dignity, and our self respect and knowing.

The Altruistic narrative is that of a caretaker, An over giver, Self sacrificer, and quiet obedience of a mediocre way of life.

when fathers make jokes at the expense of mothers you laugh but then realized how twisted the joke was . it was about how she can't cook right or is incapable of something she very much is -diminishing her efforts in a passive way.

As a daughter you subjectively view her flaws as a mother but fail to see her as a women. She is dysfunctional-but no wonder why! seeing how and what lead to it.

Im angry yet understanding, disturbed yet enlightened.

The endless bickering of a spot of water on the kitchen floor.

the underserving anger directed at my mother of the inconveniences of the day .

the complaints of too much sodium in the food

the irritability in almost every car ride.

the loss of sleep due to arguments

the waking up to serve him everyday at the ass crack of dawn.

acceptance of infidelity because of religious beliefs

The disacknowledgements of the effort of raising children -

All the doctor appointment, information exchanging, teacher conferences were on the mother.

I dont hate my father

nor do I hate my mother

I hate the sacrifices made through their matrimony.

This is not even their whole story

but I hold space of understanding for my mother as a daughter.

though that dose not mean that all her dysfunctionality as a parent is made right because of the cost of being a wife.

I love my mother and father.

But one thing that should be noted most of all applying to all if anyone is reading is to break the cycle of tolerating the mediocre script of your place as a women in this world.