𝔏𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔖𝔱𝔞𝔯

i’m shit at holding a conversation I’m like the hot potato convo dropper

some weeks I’m practically a ghost like ~oooo woop~ where am I 

lies’ xmas gifts for her partners: yifan + sunny

(01). i work at the hardware store and you’re a single parent who promised your kid to built a tree house, but truthfully you never even touched a hammer, and now you’re panicking.

(02). i am a chef who teaches cooking classes once a week, and you recently became single and realized you and your ex just lived off take-out and frozen pizzas, but it’s time for change so you really wanna learn how to cook for yourself. damn you’re a bad cook, but at least it gives me an excuse to see you every week.

(03). we go to the same school but have never talked before until my friend told me that you live in the town next to mine across the country, and you are open to give me a ride if i am willing to split for gas. oh shit the car broke and now we have to stay in this motel for a couple of days while the local mechanic fix it.

(04). i made out with a stranger at a concert last night but we were too drunk/high to remember to exchange numbers so i’ll probably never see them - holy shit! you’re my best friend’s half-sibling i’ve never met before?! well, this is gonna be a long and awkward summer.

(05). i’m a foreign exchange student and i was assigned to live with you and your family for a year, and wowza, you’re super cute.

(06). we’ve been best friends since we were kids, and people always see us as practically siblings, and we do everything together, but one night we had a ~ moment ~ and things have been weird ever since. now you’re making out with someone else right in front of me, and i don’t know why it makes me so upset, you’ve had bfs/gfs before and it wasn’t a problem.

(07). we’ve been best friends since we were kids, but one night we were at a party where we played spin the bottle and we had to kiss, and ever since then we have started making out whenever we’ve been alone, but it’s just for fun to pass the time. isn’t it? there’s no feelings involved. ahem.

(08). we were both on the titanic and we had an intense romance going, but when the ship went down we got separated and we both thought the other had drowned. but now it’s the late 20s and i’m here in new york where i was hired as the photographer/caterer/florist for your wedding.

(09). we were high school sweethearts, but you went to college and i went backpacking through europe, so we drifted apart. now i’m sitting here watching this new tv show, and is that you playing the lead character? please tell me you’re coming to our reunion next month!

(10). i am super behind on my studies so my professor suggested that you tutor me, but it’s so hard to concentrate when you smell so good and you’re so cute.

(11). we both marched in this demonstration, but it got a little out of hand, so now we’re both gonna spend the night in jail. this could be the beginning of a fun friendship.

(12). you’re famous, and i’m the journalist who has interviewed you a billion times, and at this point it almost feels like chatting to an old friend. if i wanna come with you to a party? uh sure why not. of course everything is off the record.

(13). we both witnessed this crime and now we’re stuck in a witness safe-house together until the trial, and i am still freaking out about this thing that we saw.

(14). i bullied you a lot when we were kids, because i didn’t know how to use my words to express the traumas going on in my home. now we’re in our twenties and i have been through a lot of therapy and really learned how to tackle my past. i conicidentally got hired by your workplace, and man i can’t tell you how sorry i am for what i did to you.

(15). you’re dating my sibling, but they’re a piece of shit who keeps cheating on you and treat you like dirt and i’m the one who ends up comforting you every time. sadly i have been in love with you since forever, but i would never abuse the trust you have in me, so i’m just gonna dry your tears, and take you out for milkshakes and fries while hoping you’ll finally dump them.

(16). i’m a writer who rented a cabin in the outskirts of the woods in the mountains, but i got a serious writer’s block. you are on a camping trip with your friends, and i saw you laughing and dancing like a dork with a beer in your hand wearing way too big hiking boots and a soft flannel. now i can’t stop thinking of your face, and i think you’re my muse.

(17). i’m a vet student and you burst into the clinic right before closing hours with panic in your face because you accidentally hit a dog. sure, i’ll sit with you while my boss takes care of the pooch.

(18). we were engaged when you went to afghanistan, but they told me you were killed and it made me spiral into a bad case of depression. now it’s eight years later and you’re here knocking on my door, but i’m married to someone else and we have a kid/have a kid on the way.

(19). you’re my pot dealer, and i am completely broke, but it’s been such a shitty day, is there really no way i can just owe you the money, or maybe give you something other than money?