Kats | It/Its

I have trauma around singing. I love singing, always have. But as an AuDHDer I'm not only a cursed perfectionist, who copies and never finds their own voice, I'm also the odd one out, the one who gets made fun of for being "too passionate", for being "cringe".

There was a time when I just wouldn't sing in front of others. I couldn't. The mere thought made me want to cry.

These days, I give perhaps two fucks and no more. I'm back out performing in amateur theatre and a musical shows, better than ever, more confident than ever, and – most importantly – loving it more than ever. I've just recorded a CD for my mum's 60th bday, consisting of covers of songs we like to listen to together and even a song I wrote myself, music and all.

People around me have begun referring to me as a "born performer" - people who perform on stage, too, alongside me.

I was able to "free" myself of my trauma by putting myself back out there. By fighting and by not. Giving. Up.

Not by fucking dying.

There is a me beyond the trauma. And there's a you there, too.

"Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever"

has never sat right with me. It seemed so antithetical to Aziraphale's decision to "make a difference" by taking the position in heaven.

And then it hit me: his time in heaven wouldn't last forever. His absence wouldn't last forever. The need to fix things wouldn't last forever.

Derek is the owner of the bookshop Asa works at (not owns himself), while the Metatron was the boss of Heaven (we don't count God in this because she was technically boss of everything and, like a true CEO, did absolute bullshit zip).

Yes, Aziraphale's bookshop was a sort of embassy of Heaven, but only because it was Aziraphale's, no? The whole point was that it was his, that he curated the way he wanted it and let a demon walk around in as said demon pleased, without Heaven seeming to know.

In S02 especially, the presence of angels in the bookshop was a threatening and unwelcome matter (Muriel is somewhat of an exception bc Muriel is not threatening, like, ever), so having Aziraphale as Asa work directly under the Metatron as Derek is so jarringly antithetical to S01 and S02's arcs respectively.

You're telling me that Aziraphale and his whimsical-opening-times bookshop single-handedly kept Whickber Street alive?

He leaves for a couple of years and Soho becomes deserted ?

Did he miracle it that way or did his mere presence attract people? (I mean, I get that. I'd be loitering just in the off-chance he comes out so I can bask in his aura)

Aziraphale goes away and everyone but Mrs Sandwich is gentrified out?

"If it helps some other people rationalise, verbalise and/or work through their own emotions regarding the Good Omens finale [...], that is fantastic." - also me.

The context of these quotes is a review/analysis/opinion-piece on GO3 I just finished. It gets progressively more bitter, but I tried to assemble all my thoughts, feelings and questions in it, whilst providing possible semi-surface-level interpretations here and there. (Brilliant pitch)

If you're interested – here it is (and it is very long):

1.0. Intro

There are lots and lots of opinion-pieces going out right now, why care about mine? You shouldn't. Not more than any others, at least. All I'm offering, on top of my ~feelings~ towards the Good Omens finale is also a further nuanced view backed by my experience in literary analysis. I wanted to put this off until after I've gotten a few things off my plate. But, as the passionate AuDHD mind does, this was both a chance to procrastinate and engage with a few of my brain's favourite pass-times, so here is the review-ified version of 9 pages of stream-of-consciousness notes I have on the finale. This is half analysis, half opinion-piece. It's not a proper paper with citations of secondary sources. It's much too unguided and spontaneous for that. I have no thesis, no research to base anything on. This is just a way of coping for me in which I can incidentally make use of some analytical skills I acquired through my BA in English. If it helps some other people rationalise, verbalise and/or work through their own emotions regarding the Good Omens finale or even gets you more interested in media analysis yourself, that is fantastic. If no one reads it because it's too long and this author-person is kind of ramble-y... Okay!

Speaking of rambling – let's get a wiggle-on.

2.0. Fuck off. Genuinely.

I need to kick this off with a sort of disclaimer:

If you make Aziraphale responsible for any negative feelings you have towards this finale, the plot of the finale or Crowley's decision, I want you to not interact with me. If you decide to read on and have not changed your opinion on this by the end of this post, block me. I do not care for your words. I don't want them. In my opinion, you don't understand Aziraphale, Crowley or the plot. When Mrs Sandwich calls him a taker, that is you, and you are probably proud of that fact. Allow me to make my many points as to why Aziraphale is not a taker, but a keeper. I will keep him. Forever safe in my heart. I adopted his name for a reason. This is not a place for Aziraphale hate. Never.

Ah, yes, the points. Good point. clears throat

HAVE YOU LISTENED TO ANYTHING THEY SAID TO EACH OTHER?

"Do you want an apology from me?" Aziraphale knows that Crowley doesn't want an apology. It wouldn't change anything for Crowley to hear that from Aziraphale, he knows Az is sorry to have hurt him, but isn't sorry to have decided the way he did. Hence Crowley's very eloquent and enthusiastic sigh. An apology changes nothing for Crowley. They both know that the decision would be the same on a do-over; this time Aziraphale could take precautions and potentially actually save it all. Crowley knows Aziraphale feels bad, and conflicted about that at the same time. The thing about Crowley is, he doesn't want Aziraphale to feel bad. He'll give himself room in the form of a row, as in previous seasons, or this time little stabs:

- "You weren't here. I wasn't gonna lose [the bookshop], as well",

- "Well, you know what they say about the road to hell [...] needs re-paving."

- "Live in an alleyway, people tell you things",

- "- you wouldn't need me, right. Nice. Gotcha.",

But Crowley runs after Aziraphale right after telling him to leave him alone. He stops him doing the I-Was-Wrong Dance. Speaking of the Dance:

Aziraphale started doing it. Fully prepared, if it could fix things between them – which it wouldn't and he knows it wouldn't for two reasons:

1. Crowley doesn't like Az feeling bad and

2. the Dance is clearly much more a quip than an earnest apology.

Aziraphale would not have made Crowley do the dance in S02 if he'd genuinely been upset with him. You can see and hear him gloating - that's not the reaction of someone who needs to forgive. Aziraphale immediately accepts Crowley back into his scheme. And Crowley has long forgiven Aziraphale because he doesn't hold grudges like that and the optimist in him understands what Aziraphale tried to do; which doesn't mean he's not hurt.

Two things can be true at once. Aziraphale can feel bad and still choose to try and fix Heaven. Crowley can understand and still feel hurt. Which is precisely why he cuts the I-Was-Wrong Dance short when Az starts doing it: This isn't a joke. They're the only ones left in existence (to their knowledge), he's already forgiven his Angel bc he understands, because he knows he's sorry and because he is legitimately hurt. He doesn't want to gloat – which he got to do on many occasions in the past (you'll remember Aziraphale listing all the times he's done the Dance. He wants to make his hurt some room while going back to normal. It is honestly incredibly human of him. Or neurodivergent. I relate to it very hard so it could be either, I never know.

The most tragic thing, in my opinion, in this particular debate is that Aziraphale knows this, which is why he tries to rush past it and pretend all's fine and dandy, but he doesn't believe it. He's believed other things in the past – like Heaven and angels being good or that God cares – and has been figuratively smacked in the face for it. Crowley venting constantly doesn't help. Aziraphale had been scared to face him, scared that this time Crowley wouldn't forgive and just go back to normal with him. It's why he hesitates to go down and only does so because he has a reason to ask for help. He also does leave when told to. He only starts "manipulating" after Crowley follows him and tells him that he's the one who looked after the bookshop. He's clinging to the safety of the dynamic they both know; the thing that, over thousands of years on earth, has brought them together over and over again. The idea that after all this time they don't understand each other like that is kind of wild to me. Asa and Anthony probably understand each other like that, and they've known each other for like 20 years.

In the end (haha...ha) it is Aziraphale who can't let go of the hurt he caused Crowley, the guilt he feels. It is him who says "I need to hear you say it" because he knows it's long happened – Crowley's "[oh], come on, Angel" confirms this, it tells him 'there is no need for that, don't be that way, of course I forgive you' – but Aziraphale needs Crowley's truthful words to believe it. He needs his prayer to be heard that the one thing left to care about in the universe, the one thing left to spend maybe eternity with – Crowley's company – is not of circumstance and resentment. Yup, Crowley has a damn hard time with that, not just because he's a former demon, and he has already forgiven Aziraphale, and bringing too much honest emotional talking into their dynamic could disturb it, and the last time he went out on a limb to do so it ended super poorly, but also because he doesn't answer prayers. Simple and complicated as that.

Some people seem to have missed the fact that they do talk. In the Bentley. And Aziraphale is so desperate and frustrated because he did what he thought Crowley would have done. Because the Crowley he fell in love with cared so much, wanted to change the system and protect this universe. Aziraphale doesn't want to accept that Crowley has given himself up. As we'll see later, he hasn't. He just needed reminding why he was who he was.

2.1. Yay, Michael got costumes!

This is a short and insignificant one, but I need to make it clear that I'm not just ranting my personal feelings. I am trying to view this from 'neutral' angles – even though there is no true neutrality, which is why I reject 'Death of the Author' (Roland Barthes) as an analytic device – and also at least mention something I liked.

I'm really happy we got to see Aziraphale looking different, with long hair as a high-ranking soldier, and as an imposter demon, showing off some beautiful muliti-layered acting by Michael Sheen - it was fun! I'm not counting Asa and Anthony as Aziraphale and Crowely. We will get to why a little later in 'What even is the canon here? The rules of it?'.

Also, uhm, the music? Beautiful as ever. A+. No notes. The use of 'Time after Time' (Cindy Lauper) for the restaurant scene is chef's kiss. This here is about appreciating the original music, which does. not. miss. Brilliant! Chapeau, David Arnold.

2.2. The Story within the Story

This section is more on narrative devices and specifically storytelling commentary.

The ending makes sense from a narrative perspective. It's tidy, just like they say within the episode. God and the adversary. Shaking hands. Only God has Satan at Her side for meta-storytelling reasons. And the adversary is an angel and a former demon. And the handshake is a deal they make. It was a neat 3-act-play that even has a bittersweet happy ending. It's Maggie and Nina as mirrors of Crowley and Aziraphale, as many in the fandom correctly noticed last season – although the consensus seems to see them mirrored the other way round, which is fine, but I disagee; they each mirrored either, but Maggie more closely resembled Crowley, and Nina Aziraphale, in my humble opinion. Doesn't matter.

This practical truth makes it no less frustrating on a human level. It's not revolutionary – not that any story needs to be; making supernatural beings "become human" to allow them to love is a, in my opinion tired, trope we're not seeing for the first time. They were emotional beforehand, they loved beforehand. To not give them a happy ending as is, is kind of a cop-out to not leave loose plot-threads in an easy way, but I find it a somewhat boring and unimaginative one. Gabriel and Beelzebub got to stay themselves – they even un-did Gabriel's humanification; why not the ineffable husbands?

I've read on tumblr that this ending was allegedly Sir Terry Pratchett's. I don't know the source of this claim; it hardly matters. I can acknowledge he was an amazing writer whose style I really like and still criticise his choices (Rinceflower 💪🏻).

They could have even Noah's arch-ed it – save just a few. Religious tie-in. Circular story-telling(-ish). Would've been sad as shit, but certainly more innovative and interesting. Imagine it: Crowley and Aziraphale, alone in an empty universe, with all of what they are and what they know, feeling guilty over having failed to save what was, perhaps starting off a new universe – around the bookshop – with their newfound ability to write a book of life with a fountain pen and a myriad of empty tomes. It doesn't tie it off, the story would continue after that final page, but you know what? So does the ending we got. Asa and Anthony are still out there. By the implications, to which we'll get later in 'What even is the canon here? The rules of it?', it will continue for as long as that new earth continues. Yes, their angel-and-demon story cannot be continued now, no cash-grab sequels – though prequels and in-between spin-offs is never entirely off a table, obviously. Capitalism will always find a way. It's different at a glance, but not at a deeper look.

I'll for sure hand it to them, that it was a welcome twist on killing your gays by ~sort of~ un-killing them. Taking their divinity away was unnecessary. Putting an expiration date to their love was unnecessary.

2.3. Le Kiss

I know a lot of you were expecting a smooch. Some wanted a make-out session. Doubtless a few were hoping for sex – on-screen or implied. I'm fine with the kiss. The entire time I was sitting there like "oh, no this doesn't feel like a kiss-on-the-lips moment" but for all the moments. I think Aziraphale returning the S02 kiss to Crowley was a natural, in-character and frankly devastating solution. He didn't just return it. He returned it. In the context of the scene... Aziraphale un-existed that horrible, horrible kiss – it was a terrible kiss and I will stand by Aziraphale's reaction to it – and they made it something tender instead, something so un-human – not because the action itself, but by subverting the expectation of what a kiss should be – so personal that it becomes an entirely different kind of intimacy - one that I find very fitting of these two supernatural beings.

If you really wanted to see Angelaphale and Demowley kiss, mouth on mouth, after the S02 finale... well, I guess I can't judge you for that, really, but it would have felt SO out of place for me. I was legit sitting there anticipating it and already cringing inwardly ahead of time. I was relieved when Aziraphale began his two-finger-maneuveNOPE that sounds wrong. I'll leave that to Asa and Anthony... and fanfiction, obviously. But that gesture made my heart melt despite the panic and dread and grief I was already experiencing over what was coming.

What I am disappointed with is that Anthony and Asa did not kiss. No swift peck on the cheek or a smooch to the top of a head as Asa brought the cocoa, no press of lips to the back of a hand when they sat there bickering, when Anthony took Asa's hand.

Something domestic that's become habit. Human lips have a ba-shit-ton of nerve endings, which is why we do kissing: it feels nice to us. And human Aziraphale and Crowley do not need to have non-human ways to show affection. They can be self-indulgent, messy, and simple because we humans are. They explicitly don't have the ineffable husbands' backstory, more on my gripe with that later in 'What even is the plot here? The rules of it?'. There is no such baggage that would make a plain ol' human kiss to a clothed shoulder an inadequate response to 20 years of partnership.

2.4. ... why?

This section is genuine questions I have regarding choices that were made.

What was Jesus' purpose? The son of God seemed so much less powerful than the son of Satan, which is generally fine in the change-the-world-with-love-and-kindness-instead-of-force narrative kind of way, but then also: he didn't get to do that. Adam literally re-wrote reality and Jesus just didn't feel so good, Mr Stark

I understand it was a rushed 90-minute-instead-of-360-minutes solution, but JESUS (literally) the plot conveniences and plot holes are dissatisfying. I really liked that young man, too, he was so nice and pure of heart. I wanted to protect him, feeling all parent-y... parental! I want a Jesus to coddle now... Is this how people feel when they get baby-fever? Is there such a thing as adult-fever? No, that's either just a normal fever or something naughty, I can smell it. Anyway, Bilal Hasna gave a wonderful performance, but his character was unfortunately completely obsolete and I'm sorry to say, for clarity's sake, he should have been scrapped.

You're telling me Jesus fucking Christ (c'mon, how often do you get the chance), in all his forlornness, confusion, and yet persistent love would watch humans disintegrate and just go "oh, okay. Well, then, take back my soul daddy God." Are we talking about the same Jesus? Because making him oblivious to everything was a deliberate choice. Making him powerless and complicit to just complete annihilation of everything is another choice. A weird one. Might as well have skipped Jesus altogether then. Why have the Second Coming commence in the first place? Just let Michael lose her marbles before they can kick it off. It would have changed absolutely zip because when Aziraphale and Crowley found him, they went "Attaboy! Have a nice second death!" Jesus essentially was reduced to a plot device to get the Husbands back together. I'm sure they could have used something or someone else. They made Jesus irrelevant to the End Times. Which is a skill, quite frankly.

If we're to believe that these 6000 years of that universe were the original ineffable plan, that means God planned Michael to destroy it the way she did. So the Second Coming was completely useless anyway. Was that the Metatron's secret God-defying scheme? He must have known Aziraphale would not let Jesus announce the end of all. Was Jesus really just there because they ended S02 announcing him? That would be some inflexible and uncreative penmanship.

Also, uh, where was the human panic? You see your neighbours disintegrate in front of you and your reaction is "where did he go?" Not a "what the fuck?! He just died?!" Nothing? Okay. That's one way to do comedy whilst erasing an entire universe of living beings, I guess? Personally, I find it in very poor taste.

Silly one, I know, but how does un-existing archangels turn them into sick graffiti? Is it the imprint they left on that universe? Sandalphon's torture on the walls of hell? Uriel's (???) on some alley walls? Shouldn't they have vanished without a trace? Just for the cool visual effect? Why'd the Metatron not become graffiti? I seriously don't know what to make of this. It is so inconsistent and Uriel's role is so under-explored that I can't even grace them with a freebie-interpretation.

Why was God there? We really didn't need to have God make an appearance. The entire point has been that she is absent and doesn't answer. Oh, no wait. She does. For reasons. Because Aziraphale wrote it in their newly started Book of Life? Did he actually materialise Her? Or was she like "nuh-uh, you don't have that kind of power over me, I'll appear of my own volition because I'm ~ineffable~" – thereby literally giving him that power over her. If She'd stayed away, that would have demonstrated much better how She is still the most powerful being who can't be ordered around. But who am I to say these thing. Certainly not God. I, for one, care about a great deal of things other than my own Pride.

2.5. What even is the canon here? The rules of it?

In this sub-chapter we'll explore the consequences surrounding the logistics of the ending and The Deal that Crowley makes with God.

I'm led to believe that my universe is what Az and Crowley un-existed their universe for. The universe in which I have been consuming their story - the story that now never existed? Am I in a different universe where their story does exist but angels and demons and all that doesn't? Is this a Discworld situation and is Crowley an airline pilot here?

(Almost) Everything that existed in their universe exists in mine. Even their media and art. We have Queen, we have Agatha Christie, the M25 was built a nightmare (I presume, I don't know much about UK traffic), we have Shakespeare, we have Nazis and the French Revolution. What difference did Heaven and Hell even make then? Evidently either none at all or I am, in fact, living in a universe where Heaven and Hell are around, aka their universe? Their story exists as fiction in my universe. Clearly the situation is either God didn't keep her end of the deal and is putting her hands into my universe or I am in their original universe. I do not see how else the canon of this ending can work. Should I be worried my cat is going to disintegrate any minute?!

"It shows that they will always find each other; every incarnation, in every universe." That's nice and all, but wholly unnecessary. I already believed this. We have fanfiction; it does that. And it's not necessarily that extensive either, becaus they asked God to create one other universe, where Angels and Demons don't exist. Not an infinite number. They found each other again in that one universe, that one incarnation. Towards the latter parts of their lives, no less. 6000 years of existence and love and pining and working for their relationship, against "Hi, can I get your number?", "Nah, where are we meeting, I'll wait for you" is not equivalent in the least. Yes, 6000 years to immortal beings is theoretically nothing, but they still experience time at the same pace we do, it just seems less significant how much there was of it, not how much they experienced within it. Does a second feel different to you than it does to a cat?

I'm not dunking on old-man-yaoi, either. Elder gays, their love, their happiness, are funamental to the survival of our community and culture. And we have far, faaar too little of it, everywhere. That's not the point. Of course they can be old, but don't have them meet that way in the only universe you show us. You're cutting out the thousands of years fighting for each other, fighting to be together, down to a silly coincidence and immediate success. That is not a good representation of them in every incarnation.

Show them to us at various stages in life. Growing up together as kids. Meeting at uni. Running into each other on the street and, yes, getting his number as a bookshop clerk in his ...-ties. Make it a bloody montage if you'd like. Throughout the ages and the world and different bodies, not just present day England white middle-aged people. Have them on the battlefield in the Zhou Dynasty. Have them slurp oysters in Rome. Make them flag down snacks at the Globe Theatre simultaneously. SHOW ME that they always, always, ALWAYS find each other.

And even then, that will still God breaking the deal and mingling. Reincarnation is not a secular ideal. It is spiritual and/or religious. The only way that these humans are reincarnations of Crowley and Aziraphale and for them to meet every single time, is if God has her fingers in that universe-soup. And in that case, you might as well just give them their memories. That would at least spare them the time of getting to know each other over and over again, and just enjoy what they never got to enjoy. Because we aren't ourselves without our past.

'Trauma doesn't make us who we are' I'm glad you seem to hold no trauma and I pray to my video game Goddess it stays that way for you. Trauma shapes you. It seeps into your crevices and changes you in ways you often don't even notice. For fuck's sake, it causes some people's consciousness to split and hide the trauma in specific fragments to protect the overall system. Trauma is a huge influence on our personality-development. For me, these humans are not Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm sure they're lovely people and I wouldn't mind getting their stories at all, but they cannot be what they never were. And more obviously: they cannot be who never was. Aziraphale and Crowley were un-existed.

Speaking of un-existing:

2.6. Stay in your genre

We are slowly entering anger-territory – you might have noticed. This is a brief swerve over into 'just don't write time-fuckery if you don't know how or don't have the time (ironically) to do it properly.' Yes, it's a long title, that's why I went for 'Stay in your genre' for the sub-chapter.

Space-time plot is never a good idea unless you're Doctor Who. And even if you are Doctor Who, it will have often still not been a great idea. Time-travelling things into existence is one thing. Time-travelling this out of having ever existed only ever comes with narrative problems:

You undo Hitler (and all the other Terribles) – nobody will make a time machine to do it. And if they did make a time machine for other purposes, they wouldn't go to undo The Terribles since they will have never existed, so nobody would undo them, so they would be... done. Congratulations, you've successfully created a loop because now somebody would use time travel to undo them again. (John Finnemore, who co-wrote S02, has some sketches on this in his radio comedy 'John Finnemore's Souvenir Program'. It's a fantastic listen overall, he's a very funny writer. I love every series except the corona one, which breaks the pattern and storytelling of the other series'. It's fine, just not my taste. The vibe's different in that one. Anyway, I whole-heartedly recommend it; not just for the time-travel sketches.)

Basing your whole entire narrative over twelve episodes around the constant flow of time and then introducing a quasi time-travel is so unimaginative, I'm really sorry. I expect that from the 28936563rd season of Supernatural, not the 3rd instalment (of whatever size) of Good Omens. It is such a fuck you to fans. It's BBC Sherlock all over again: "Haha! Didn't see that coming, did ya! We're so much clevererer than you all as we do this thing that completely overturns everything we've done previously in a really poorly thought out way! Now you look really silly with all your theories and expectations!"

No, I admit; that comparison isn't fair. Mofftiss were completely and unhingedly self-obsessed feeding their own egos and actively shitting on fans. I have no doubt in my heart that this was not the case with GO3. I'm just traumatised. Almost like that shapes you or something, but what do I know. Alright, enough pettiness. Let me get back on track with, as I believe the kids say:

2.7. 'It was all just a dream' ahh narrative

I mentioned this in my original little vent-post, so I figured I'd explain it a little more.

The actual logical consequence of The Decision is that no part of their existence mattered. Their 6000 years didn't matter. Their love didn't matter because:

- it's either wibbly-wobbly timey-whimey: making God make this new universe in exchange for unmaking them means they never were made and therefore they didn't make Her make us because we will have existed in parallel time to them – otherwise "present day" and any info on time is utterly meaningless to us,

- or God had already planned and/or made us because she's ineffable and God and any info on time would be utterly meaningless to us.

Either way, nothing they experienced mattered. It didn't happen. It was un-done. Their, inherently queer, trauma was for naught. Asa and Anthony can't be them because they never existed. None of it mattered. None of it had any impact. That is what that narrative tells us. How cheery, what a funny romantic comedy, isn't it?

2.8. Inconsistencies

Much like the genre, a lot of the plot of the finale is inconsistent as he- uh, you know what I mean. Let me poke some holes in it.

What the crap is being erased from the Book of Life supposed to mean?

The bookshop was the only page saved. Crowley did say early on that reality needs time to adjust after something is erased before it actually stops having ever existed. Maybe that is why him and Aziraphale don't disappear with the rest of the universe – which, on the other hand ceases to have ever existed instantly.

Before she un-exists herself 'only Michael remembers' the things she has removed from the Book of Life, but clearly so do Aziraphale and Crowley. Books, aka the words of people who were unwritten become empty, but the names of those people remain AND everything in the bookshop remains despite the people who built or even invented those things, like the bookshelves, having been un-existed. I am absolutely ready to believe Aziraphale knows precisely which book is which. He knows that book is a Dickens not bc that name is still on the book, but because he knows that's where its place is. But HE knows the name Dickens still, even though Dickens has been un-existed and all his written words are gone. I love when the rules are just 'because we say so', or, if you prefer, ~ineffable~. You don't have to explain anything when everything is unexplainable.

Not all books in the shop were empty, either. Aziraphale was still existent, so the diaries he has canonically written on his time on earth would still hold, right? Is that how they remember? Because Aziraphale's accounts of these things remain? I don't know because those diaries aren't addressed post S01. Aziraphale doesn't even go to look for them to check. You know what, writers, you can have that one. My gift to you.

It's been mentioned by others on tumblr, but the ending is completely inconsistent with the point of the story thus far. Aziraphale, Crowley, and the other angels and demons are not the only 'sacrifices'. They didn't sacrifice themselves to save people. There were people in their universe before. ALL of them un-existed, too. ALL of these lives were expendable? I refuse to buy that. It's not congruent with literally EVERY other theme in this story. How much they've done to save people.

- Crowley rebelled and fought and fell for the sanctity of the lives of humans. THESE humans. The humans in their universe.

- Aziraphale lied to God – as the first angel to ever do so – and gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword. After the war and what happened to his fallen siblings he committed his own act of rebellion for those same humans, and not for the last time either.

- Job's children. They both fucked with their own and each other's "side" to save them.

- Depending on the medium, Crowley may or may not have killed two cops, but...

- Crowley also accidentally killed people with the M25, though that definitely wasn't his plan; there's a reason his plans are always so... non-violent.

- They couldn't kill the antichrist.

- They were very dramatic over Aziraphale's discorporation.

- Elspeth? Heaven definitely wouldn't have cared if she'd committed suicide and Crowley knowingly earned himself a lot of trouble for stopping her.

I'm certain I've missed one or two, but I think you get the point. I want to continue on to my last show of inconsistency, arguably the most egregious one. Because the biggest inconsistency is Crowley. Why did they make him such a rubber band?

- "End it all? No, why?!"

- "Apocalypse? Ngk, Angel, please help me stop that?"

- "Ah, shit! We failed? Uh, run away with me? Let's ditch this and just... be the two of us? We can make it if we try."

- "Oh, I'm so heartbroken bc my Angel is dead and his bookshop's gone; just let me die already, then. Burn it all down- wait, he's alive and has the answers? Well, shit, off to Tadfield I go! Let's save earth!" (according to the S02 opening, wouldn't the apocalypse end that entire universe? Don't they exist outside that universe? They certainly existed beforehand – Crowley kickstarted some of it)

- "Yeah, take that God, it's the a-stopped-calypse now, hahaha! Wait, what's Gabriel doing here and why is he called Jim? I don't want any more trouble, I live in my car that's how un-subscribed I am from Heaven-and-Hell drama!"

- "Erase my Angel from the Book of Life? Nuh-uh! I'm getting involved! Look at me doing anti-miracles to make humans fall in love- aww, I wish that were us. Hey, Angel, I wanna- you whot. How about no and we just be us 2.0? Screw the world, again, Heaven and Hell are gonna destroy the fucker one way or another eventually. Oh, come on...."

- "No espresso, I'm depresso. I don't want the world OR you. Okay, that's a lie and we both know it. But I'm done, like super done, dealing with this shit. No more."

- "Aw, you got my home- I mean you got me our car back, hey there Bentley. 'Kay guess I'm helping you save the world uh-gain if it means we can finally be happy together?? Right?????? What do you mean the entire universe." (technically again)

- "Jesus Christ. Is dead again. You know what? You KNOW WHAT?! Screw everything. Screw you. Screw me (maybe we'll have enough time?). Screw this universe with this world and these people, I don't care. All I care about is people. No, different people. And they should have free will. Nooooo, different free will, duh! And there shall be none of us - yeah, none. And there shall be no God. But God has to make it, obviously. Yeah. That sounds good. That's the only thing I ever cared about. Never ever did I give up on humanity, earth, the universe. Always my TOP priority. That's what you love about me, isn't it, Angel? Yeah? Yeah? You love how devoted I am to life and the human species? That's what made you fall in love with me in the first place? Well, too bad, because here we go never existing in the first place fart noise."

He was so ready to abandon it all so many times and was anchored down to it by Aziraphale only to have never cared more about anything else ever? Huh?

No, he was never truly ready to give up on it or he would have done so instead of getting drunk and being miserable. But the deal at the end is a contradiction in and of itself: what do you mean he will suddenly abandon the current universe because there will be a new one? It makes no fucking sense. In that case he may as well ask the old one to be reinstated just have God and Heaven and Hell and angels and demons moved out of it. Like we discovered earlier, they didn't make a difference anyway. Earth became the exact same way 'without them'.

I don't believe Crowley doesn't realise, in previous plots, that fleeing to Alpha Centauri would actually keep them safe from annihilation. I also don't believe, because of how upset he gets every time, that he ever truly gave up on sticking it to God by saving earth, even if he kept lamenting that there's no point. I think he genuinely needed Aziraphale to kick his butt into motion a fair few times and that he was counting on it, somewhat subconsciously, definitely reluctantly. He wanted to give up. But he is, deep down, an optimist.

3.0. Summary

There was good, there was bad. Plot holes galore. Phenomenal acting. Some frankly amateurish work on cutting content and narrative choices. It's now 1AM, I have to get up at 5 and was never good at introductions or summaries. It's not like this was a very scientifically written 20-page-paper. (Oh, Martel, it is actually 11 pages. I'm sorry. If you think a proper summary is in order, let me know and I'll invest the time)

4.0. Conclusion

You are not wrong to like the finale. You are not wrong to dislike the finale. You are not wrong to have mixed feelings about the finale. If anyone read this through to the end... well, thank you, first of all! Secondly, I hope I could maybe give you something to ruminate, to help you engage critically in a piece of media in these times of capitalism trying to take our ability to think away from us through LLMs ('generative AI'). As you could tell, I'm not a fan of the finale. I can appreciate a lot of it, and I do think more time would have allowed to clear up some questions – that balance should have been struck by killing pointless narrative threads to not make it so convoluted. I don't even hate the ending, but I find it jarring and disconnected from the overall narrative. I thank all creators of fan-content for providing me and others a safe-haven where the two characters whose love have fallen in love with continue to exist and thrive for evermore.

(formatting this for tumblr sucked. I may have to go through and check some things, but I just wanna put it out right now.

Do I understand why?

- yes, of course I do; I do literary analysis for fun. (You know, besides having done my first Bachelor in essentially that)

Does it still hurt and am I dissatisfied with essentially having been "it was all just a dream"-ed?

Cain: *literally increases own size to giant*

Art imitates... art