big dick energy this big dick energy that im tired of it all when are we going to talk about big HEART energy

The sky is literally lit

They created a damn galaxy

The very excited blonde lady owns the resort where this is taken. She’s super excited because this is the closest they’ve ever come in before. Everyone else is less excited because this was taken crack of dawn; when blonde lady realized how close the whales were coming, she ran around waking everybody up to see it.

Why are customers stupid as fuck

“Does the decaf coffee have caffeine?” What the fuck do you think!

Hi my name is Customer McDumbass and I ordered six frappaccinos, all different, during a rush right before my flight is supposed to board and I’m mad my drinks aren’t done yet!

Um. Decaf has caffeine. Chemically decaffeinated somewhat less so than Swiss water process decaf, but it still has enough to fuck with particularly sensitive people.

I mentioned this in the replies but the customer asked because they wanted the coffee with the MOST caffeine and thought decaf was that. It was genuinely stupid I promise

I have customers walk away with the wrong drink so often because of that constantly. Like ma’am, you ordered a large frap. Does this medium hot cup really seem like it’s the right beverage for you???????

Dude I have people with bones coming out of their body asking me if I think it’s an emergency and if they should go to the hospital or wait till it gets better. Like humans are just plain stupid

THAT is big dick energy

do you know what literally drives me up the fucking wall?

it’s been 10 years since 3oh!3 said “tell ur boyfriend if he says he has beef that im a vegetarian and i ain’t fuckin scared of him” and it’s still the hardest lyric of all time

Let dogs and cats sniff… Just let them fhcnking sniff… They love it

ya meen iddaint me noggin issme peepuhs? ohh well thas just Luverlee

at least life wants to fuck me

rememner the episode of icarly when they tried to make a lit up billboard thing on the side of the road and it said PLEASE GO TO ICARLY.COM or something but a bunch of the letters burned out so it was jusg said PEE ON CARL

Am i gonna have to find out that dan Schneider had a piss kink too

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever