That's JoeBiz.

BJ's: the stuff of Dad's daydreams... Oh, but buy him some tires because dads love tires for Father's Day as much as moms like vacuums for Mother's Day. Frankly, I'm much more interested in the name of the store than I am in tires.

Hello table, this is dog. #pitbull #watchingtv

Jesus, WebMD, I just wanted to know what was causing my sore throat without being reminded that I'm destined to face the same ugly fate that Jim Henson, creator of the muppets, endured.

I think this is my toothpaste scum’s way of thanking me for being a slob.

Just one of those weird internet coincidences I guess.

Nice save.... (at Building 9)

Tough dogs, @jamiwithani

ABC World News, you animals.

3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. When I see the word "array" written anywhere my brain immediately pictures [ ]. Every time somebody mentions any kind of object I see { }. That's JavaScript, which is what I'm usually looking at, but ask me how to say array in 5 languages and I'll write it in Python, PHP, Ruby, Objective-C, and C#. Sometimes I even dream in code. One time my wife woke me up and I couldn't stop blabbering about being in an infinite loop that was slowly filling up the memory. A therapist would eat that shit up.

The scariest dogs are the dogs that will nap next to a screaming infant.

Today I took a road trip to 2001.

Finally, somebody that cares as much about the puppy cam as I care about the puppy cam.

Puppy cam update

There's a 24/7 live puppy cam on apl.tv so now I can cancel cable.

That American Express commercial where Tina Fey eats a bunch of potpourri and is too high to know which side of the card actually makes the payment.