My knees are bruised from hard pews, kneeling before an altar
My back is aching under the weigh of this cross
Threatening to break with the burden
Praying for salvation from something
But the room stays quiet, no answers come
And Iām left wondering again if itās all for nothing
How many times have I knelt in front of this altar hoping that someone would hear me?
I donāt know what is up there looking down on us
If there is anyone or anything at all
Maybe this whole thing has just been a show conducted by man himself to keep us all in line
Words preached by a man who says he is divinely inspired
But his definition of divine and mine are leagues different
How could any heavenly being up there condemn me for who I love?
In front of me hangs a man that was supposed to die for me
Who was supposed to have made the ultimate sacrifice because he loves me
But Iām finding it harder and harder to imagine this man as anything else but plaster
Painted with blood, a thorny crown digging into his skull
I have spent so long looking up at him, wondering if he was looking too
Because I used to feel so much when I prayed to Jesus
All those times imagining that he was taking to me, telling me how much he cared
But Iām starting to wonder if maybe all that time I was just trying to believe in myself