A Lilac Wood

I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?

And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.

“I don’t like this expression “First World problems.” It is false and it is condescending. Yes, Nigerians struggle with floods or infant mortality. But these same Nigerians also deal with mundane and seemingly luxurious hassles. Connectivity issues on your BlackBerry, cost of car repair, how to sync your iPad, what brand of noodles to buy: Third World problems. All the silly stuff of life doesn’t disappear just because you’re black and live in a poorer country. People in the richer nations need a more robust sense of the lives being lived in the darker nations. Here’s a First World problem: the inability to see that others are as fully complex and as keen on technology and pleasure as you are.”

Asexuality and aromanticism being defined as "little to no sexual/romantic attraction" is crazy to me. Imagine if they redefined being a gay man as "little to no attraction to women" and you had to, like, figure out for yourself that liking men was a part of it.

aces that have sex are not responsible for the bad stuff that happens to you. asexuality encompasses more experiences than the common "lack of sexual attraction" description and your idea that gray aces are responsible for acephobia is not welcome here. gray aces have been part of asexual community for literal decades. so have non-gray aces who have sex.

^

throughout history, the wealthy and powerful tend to create a set of rules for themselves to follow- european gentry, for example, developed specific rules for speech, dress, eating, manners, etc etc. and to some extent these rules did restrain them, but at the same time, it gave them power- by following these rules, you show your status as someone with power, both to other powerful people, and to those of lower class. certainly there were nobles who chafed under these rules, but the vast majority of them, consciously or subconsciously, accept them as the price for power, even enjoyed performing them as a status symbol. it would be ridiculous to say that the nobility was oppressed by feudialism- they wielded incredible power and freedom to use that power to hurt others, even if they had to play by a handful of rules to do so.