the soundtrack to my life

I think the universe was telling me that I still had healing to do, and that talking to you had to be done in order for me to do so. I can’t quite put how I feel into words. I miss you, and seeing you was painful. Hearing that you agree we would have worked had we actually done something to fix us hurt, because I wanted us to work more than anything. I want to still be with you more than anything, but not the you you became. Hearing your laugh and seeing you smile again felt like home, and all I wanted to do was hold you again. It is painful to love and miss someone who destroyed your soul so deeply. I’m rebuilding myself slowly. You’re right, I feel free and at ease because for the first time in 7 years I’m not being told that everything I do is wrong. You’re right, we were no longer happy, we were no longer good together. But despite all of that, I would have carried on loving you anyway.I don’t know where to go from here, but I’ll figure it out.