fly by night

PENNY: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CACEjw1UMAAIj5N.jpg

PENNY: Stella took my phone.

FIONA: Stella totally takes better photos than me what the heck?

SAM: He's terrible!

SAM: If it doesn't kill him, maybe it'll at least make him sweat less?

[...]

FIONA: if he dies will we go down for this??

[...]

MARLEY: I suppose so.

MARLEY: I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[...]

FIONA: the ice cream trip could have went better

FIONA: i mean it could have been worse too. i didn't leave with a cone to the face!

[...]

FIONA: but we don't know what to say to each other rn

FIONA: which feels weird

[...]

FIONA: she's like a sister to me but i'm pissed at her

FIONA: and i'm pretty sure she is with me too

[...]

JACKIE: I'm so glad you're on top of this.

JACKIE: Hell yes. :-)

[THE NEXT DAY]

FIONA: i love you dude

FIONA: i gotta make that clear before i say anything else

[...]

FIONA: cause it's clear we have nothing productive to say to each other rn

FIONA: we're both feeling a lot

FIONA: and are way too stubborn for our own good

[...]

MARLEY: Hi I love you.

[...]

MARLEY: Oh, okay.

MARLEY: I hope you have a good time?

[...]

MARLEY: Also, she knows. I don't know how she found out. If you told her. I'm not mad or anything if you did.

FIONA: I love you too!

[...]

FIONA: We haven’t rly hung out since she dropped that kitty sized bomb on you.

[it takes Fiona a moment to realize what Marley’s talking about but she gets there]

FIONA: Oh, she does?

FIONA: I haven’t mentioned it.

[...]

FIONA: You’ll have the room if you need some peace and quiet for studying tonight. Just don’t work too hard!

FIONA: Jackie and I are meeting up for ice cream.

[...]

SAM: That sweaty guy who never wipes his machine down was back at the gym again

SAM: He's so gross

SAM: I'm gonna fight him

SAM: But then I guess I'd get his nasty sweat on me again

[...]

SAM: I'm going to steal his Powerade and hope he dehydrates to death.

FIONA: Sweaty Steve really needs to take a hint!

JACKIE: You choose the shop and I'll meet you there.

JACKIE: I just need the cream and my favorite Fi.

FIONA: It feels homophobic if we meet up anywhere but big gay ice cream tbh!

JACKIE: Dude. Meet me for ice cream tonight.

JACKIE: Or we aren't friends anymore.

JACKIE: And I totally mean it this time. We need to catch up.

FIONA: idk if that's a good ide|[DELETED]

KITTY: we do

KITTY: but maybe i need to chill on the fun for a while

FIONA: don't go hanging up your acup apron to join a coven or anything

KITTY: oh i know

KITTY: i srsly am considering dying my hair brown

KITTY: i looked cute af

FIONA: It was a good look

MARLEY: i should have, too

MARLEY: but we didn't and now we have to deal with this

[...]

MARLEY: i'm so scared you're going to drop me for kitty. i'm amazed you haven't already.

[...]

FIONA: Drop you? Marley you're a dream come true for me.

FIONA: I get to wake up next to you every morning, we have dog together, I love the life we're building.

[...]

Money is pretty gross, Fi. It has a gagillion germs. BUT, I will take you on the best Bro-date ever. One for the ages. You’ll be telling all your other bros about it. Heck, you’ll be telling your grandchildren about how Ariana Abrams took you on the most magical bro night to ever bro. I’m probably selling this way too much but it’s fun. I mean if she was your favorite why not give her all the money? If I had a favorite stripper I’d give her all the money too.

All my other bros are gonna be so jealous when I tell ‘em you’re sweeping me off my feet!  I think you’re selling it the perfect amount!  Honestly I wasn’t expecting more than one dance, so I just gave her everything.  My real birthday present from Serena for NYC’s most expensive lapdance! 

KITTY: okay

KITTY: do you regret it?| [deleted]

KITTY: yeah, well neither of you told me she was cap’s love interest so if you think about it you’ve been sending me signals for a while

[after realizing that was probably in poor taste]

KITTY: i’m kidding

KITTY: we’re fine

FIONA: very funny!

MARLEY: fiona i know you love me

MARLEY: the part about kitty

[...]

FIONA: I'm confused but not for how I feel about you so what else matters? |[UNSENT]

KITTY: no

KITTY: myself, a little bit

KITTY: and those stupid captain america costumes

[...]

KITTY: but i don’t hate you

KITTY: if i could i’d have hated you when you ghosted me| [deleted]

FIONA: Kitty don't hate yourself, there's nothing here for you to be angry at yourself over.

FIONA: If anybody be mad at me for not locking the door!

FIONA: You say that like you didn't willinging wear one yourself last botb!

[...]

FIONA: Okay cool

[...]

MARLEY: right now i don’t think i believe you.

[...]

MARLEY: i’m sorry

[...]

[...

FIONA: Which part?

[...]

FIONA: The part about Kitty