The Occult Intelligencer

I awake at exactly 4 am. The church bells down the street serve as my alarm, chiming in perfect tune and time, declaring that now is the time for my operation. Drawing the bath, I feel a tingle of anticipation flow over me. After the bath is filled a stretch my hands over the waters, and say with a powerful voice, "I exorcise thee o' creature of water by the One God, the True God, the Living God, that thou wilt be pure, free from all Phantasm, deception, wicked spirits and forces, and have within thee the power to cleanse me of all sin, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." A black mist, all the wicked forces present within water before the exorcism, arises from the pool and dissipates before me. Salt is added, another invocation declared over the pool. I submerse and remove all wickedness from me.

Before I continue any further, I am a magician. I conjure spirits from Hell and commune with the angels of Heaven. In this, I will be recording for you one of the most horrific evocations I have performed.

For those who are unaware, evocation is when one calls forth a spirit to a location outside of oneself to communicate with it, and to give it commands to do for you. If done with lower spirits, this involves binding and exorcising the spirit so that it can't harm you, while with angels and other celestial spirits it is more about gaining information from them and receiving blessings.

After emerging from the bath, at 4:30 am, I start putting on my vestments. My white robe, with seals embroidered on the breast, my shawl of wool with strings on the corners, my nine foot belt, with the names of the Permutations, then my skull cap and magical crown, with the names of God written in bat's blood around it. I check the clock to see how the time is looking, 4:45 am now. I have fifteen minutes to begin the ceremony proper.

I go downstairs to my temple in the basement. I have my circle, painted on the floor in intricate detail. In the center of the circle I have my sword, my wand, and my book. Oh yes, my book. The book wherein I have pacts with the 72 demons of the Goetia, with the Four Kings of the Quarters, pacts with spirits even Solomon wouldn't touch. And this morning, is the time for an operation so dangerous, I must even admit I can't believe I performed it.

I took up my Holy Water sprinkler, and sprinkled myself, saying in Latin, "Asperge me O' Lord with hyssop that I shall be clean. Cleanse me and I shall be clean as the driven snow." The temple is sprinkled and purified with water. Incense is lit, and I take up my sword. Walking around the circle with my sword outstretched, I call out all the prayers in Hebrew to make the circle holy and to insure that the entity I'm calling forth tonight cannot breach it and harm me.

5 o'clock, the bells ring once again.

Opening my book upon the altar to the first page, I point my sword towards the Triangle of Art, where the spirit is to manifest. Calling upon the power of God, calling upon the forces of the legions of angels, calling upon the merits of my spiritual forefathers Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Jeremiah, Jesus, I reach the crucial point of the conjuration.

"I do call, command, constrain, bind and exorcise thee o' pernicious and wicked spirit N*, in and by and through the names of God Almighty and the holy archangel Kamael, who ruleth over all ye spirits of Mars, and over thee especially N! Come now! The Lord Himself commands thee!"

The spirit manifested in the Triangle in a way far beyond all I had heard. It started as a column of smoke, rising to the roof of my temple. Screams accompanied it, screams like one has never heard before. Screams that pierce through your skin and bury their way deep down into the very depths of your soul. A great stench filled the air, it overpowered even the sweetness of my frankincense. It smelled like the rotting flesh of dead men, combined with sulfur, asafoetida and shit. Blood started to fill the outlines of the Triangle, boiling and hissing from the great heat generated by this spirits presence. I lifted up the cloth on my altar and pointed my sword at this mass and declared, "Behold o' foul spirit, the sign and seal of Solomon the King, who hast bound thee and all thy brethren by the power of God Almighty. Halt this noise and distraction and take upon thee a form that I may stand, and speak in a voice clearly that I may understand you, and submit before me to fulfill my demands and answer honestly all my inquiries."

The smell mostly vanished, and the spirit stepped forth from the smoke. Well, stepping might not be the right way to put it. More it brought it in to the center and forced the smoke to dissipate. The spirit was 10 feet tall, scarlet red with black streaks all over. It had four arms, five horns, two legs, and huge wings that went beyond the bounds of the Triangle. In two hands he bore swords, covered in blood, his torso was covered in armor much like the Romans wore, and flames and lightning came forth from his lower two arms. When it spoke, it's voice was loud and sounded more like screaming and yelling than speaking.

"What dost thou require of me, magician?"

The question reverberated through the room, that one voice that sounds like a thousand echoing through everything.

"I require of thee that thou dost remove from mine path all my enemies and those who stand in my way."

"It shall be done!"

The screams started up again, and the spirit left. 7 am, time for me to leave for Mass.

I went to my classes at the university I attend, I'm a major in theology, it's been my passion and my love ever since I was a youth. The priest giving the lecture then poses a question to the class, "So, students, what exactly is going on during the Mass? Anyone?"

A few other students start talking amongst themselves. I put up my hand immediately, the Eucharist is one of my favorite areas of study.

"Father, at the Mass the Host and Wine are turned into the Body and Blood of Christ. The Mass is celebrating the mythic drama of the life and death of Jesus, to bring us more in accordance with living a Christly life. The process of transubstantiation also occurs through the priest serving as the vessel of Divine power, properly directing these forces through himself into the bread and wine."

A few other students grumble, some others impressed, others taking down the notes.

"You're correct, quite right indeed. I see you'll do well in the Holy Orders."

The priest continues on other subjects pertaining to the Sacraments, then the lecture is over. On my way to my next class, one of the other male students decides to corner me, this guy's name is Michael.

"What's up James, huh? Think you're smarter than the rest of us, eh?"

"Hey hey Michael, I don't want any trouble or anything. I just answered a question is-"

He pushes me up against the wall, his face inches away from mine.

"You know, I've got half a min-"

He stops speaking, for he could no longer. At that moment, his tongue was ripped out of his mouth. His face turned beat red and indents grew ever deeper around his neck. Flung back a distance of about 15 feet, he gets lifted into the air, above the courtyard of the university. He screams. Within five minutes, his entrails rain down from the sky, along with his various body parts as the demon rends him into pieces. The students below scream and run from the spectacle, I watch in captivation. Now, to be able to perceive demons you have to have some amount of training or a natural ability to. I happen to have both. The great ferocity this spirit was performing the act with was incredible and terrifying. Boy oh boy was I happy to not have him against me.

I attended the Requiem Mass for Michael, I felt quite bad about it. However he should've known not to be such a cunt honestly. Considering the state of his body being completely eviscerated, they didn't have anything there. I prayed that his soul should attain peace in Heaven, then left once the priest declared Mass over.

I returned home and decided to drink a six pack of beer as my way of winding down from this intense day. On beer number four, a great presence appeared before me, a presence of pure light. It said "Do not fear! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, blessed are those in the House of the Lord. I wish to grant a message to thee James. Thou shouldst release the spirit N from thy service, for he shall only create much trouble for thee."

The presence disappeared. I decided to completely dismiss it, thinking the benefits of protection would far outweigh any cautionary warnings from the angels.

After I finished the six pack, I realized I was out of booze and decided to go down to the corner store to get some more. I went in, got the booze, and started walking home. On my way, I was accosted by a posse of ghetto youth. They tried to mug me, but didn't get very far. Once one pulled out his knife, it was turned back on him, gouging out his eyes, before his hands were cleaved through. The demon sent fire through his mouth and whole body to cause him to incinerate from the inside out. One other had both his legs snapped in two, then his tongue ripped out. The last guy started running away. The spirit alighted on a man's car and steered it towards the last guy and ran him over, leaving his body broken and bloody in the middle of the street.

Calling on one of my spirits who assists in transportation, I called his name and was swiftly transferred back to my house, with my beer. I turned on my television to watch the news, and I couldn't believe was was going on.

Across the city, there had been countless gruesome, mysterious murders throughout the day. All the people killed were those who I knew who had sought to impede my way, or who had harmed me and continued ill intent towards me, along with many who I wasn't even aware were wishing to hurt me. Three people lifted above public squares and completely ripped to shreds, parts of them being thrown about for miles. One guy was walking down the street with his girlfriend, whom he stole from me and fucked her while we were together, and was attacked by a pack of wolves and struck by lightning. The girl started convulsing and bleeding out of her orfices. Another man was at the bank, waiting for his loan when his heart exploded and maggots came pouring out of his chest cavity.

I ran down to my temple, donned my vestments and said my prayers. I called the spirit by the oaths in the book. I took up my sword and pointed it at the spirit. It cackled at me, in hundreds of tones at once. "What are you doing with that puny sword mortal? Do you really think you'll be able to do anything to me with that?"

I grinned at the spirit and said, "Oh no, it's not the sword that's the weapon here."

I reached into the drawer of my altar and pulled out an ancient artifact I was gifted by a very wise old man. Approximately 700 years old, it was handed down in his family, father to son, according to each son who was initiated into the arts of magic. This beautiful piece of art is a Vessel of Solomon, very few of which have been crafted by magicians over the past millennia. This one was quite incredible, crafted of the finest gold, yet hardly tarnished due to it's enchanted nature. The crafter of this piece hammered it from an ore to an urn shaped vessel, with the various Hebraic names of God and angels upon it. I started chanting all the names around it, during which they started glowing and the choirs began to sing all around me, their voices filling the room.

The demon began writhing and attempting escape from the Triangle. "NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WICKED MORTAL!"

I took the lid off the vessel and displayed the seal upon the opening. I pushed it outside the circle with my sword and called out the incantation, "O' Father Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. O' Lord, I invoke Thee to bind this spirit, the spirit N within this holy Vessel. O' wicked spirit N, behold! Behold now before thee the Grand Seal of Solomon which is thy condemnation! By the sublime power of the Lord and by the binding force of this Seal, I condemn and constrain thee to this Vessel, to be bound until thou art released explicitly by the one who hath bound thee!"

The spirit reduced down to smoke and blood which was sucked into the Vessel. It quaked and trembled momentarily, some screams echoing forth. I whispered a few more conjurations to seal the vessel completely, and it was done.