Hi everyone! I am hattiefox on AO3 and thought I'd venture into tumblr world specifically for Trixie and Katya. I'll be posting some blurbs here occasionally as well as updating on AO3. Feel free to say hi! <3
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"Somehow I knew you were going to feel that way." Katya smirked. "So here, you get the regular, boring bedroom." A few steps down a hallway and to the left was a room aglow with morning light, the entire back wall a polished glass looking out to a flurry of dark green, sun poking through the dense family of tree trunks. The bed was king-sized, which made Trixie's face feel hot, though he wasn't sure why.
Summary: Trixie and Katya arrive at the cabin and begin to settle in.
QUEEN trixie and david broke up and i NEED a piece of writing in which trixie tells katya can you please please please do the honors my mentally ill ass requires it🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
The call wasn’t a surprise. They’d been talking every day now, even on days they saw each other for the podcast, or Netflix, or some other gig. For some reason, Trixie always seemed to have this need to hear his voice, or at least that’s what he hoped.
But the minute Katya answered the phone he knew this time was different.
“Hello, Marge?”
The sniffling on the other line made his stomach drop. “Hi.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Um…can I come over?”
Katya’s mind raced. Did someone die? Jesus, don’t think that way. “Yes, of course. Do you need me to come get you?” Today was a sit-on-couch-and-do-nothing-productive day, but this call was important, he could tell. Plus--and he’d never admit it to his friend--he’d do absolutely anything for Trixie.
“No, I’m going to–” Katya could hear a loud thump on the other end of the line, and what sounded like papers rustling around. “Fuck. Sorry. No, I’m going to take an Uber.”
“Are you sure? What’s happening?” It sounded like luggage, but Katya didn’t want to assume. His heart skipped a beat when he heard the sound, his body betraying his conscience. The small bout of excitement was almost immediately replaced with a heavy guilt, one that pooled in his chest like engine oil.
“It’s a long story, I’m fine. I just need to come over. Okay? I’ll be there soon.”
Trixie’s tone was defeated, exhausted. Katya inhaled. “Yeah, sounds good. See you soon.”
Twenty minutes later Trixie sat on Katya’s couch, a mug of hot tea in his hands that Katya had made in a moment of anxiety. The only tea he had was a generic black tea, but it would have to do.
A small suitcase and backpack sat by the front door, which now loomed stoically, drawing Katya’s eyes to their presence every so often. Trixie had come in and immediately dropped the two bags by the door, barely making eye contact with Katya before settling on the couch.
Now, curled up with a cup cradled in his hands and his feet tucked underneath him, Katya saw how frail Trixie looked. He’d been steadily getting smaller, and even though Katya never gave a shit about any of that, he did find himself worrying that his friend was working himself too hard. Well, he knew that was happening, that was always the case with Trixie. But it was worse lately, and his body revealed the truth of all the late nights and complete lack of rest.
Katya dimmed the lights in the living room, glancing at the clock on the wall. 10:52pm.
“I thought you had a gig tonight,” he said, lowering himself to the couch on the opposite side of Trixie, a few feet separating them.
“I cancelled it.” Trixie was looking down at the tea, wisps of steam rising from the mug he held tight in his hands.
“Are you dying?” Good one. Subtle.
“What?” Trixie looked up, making eye contact with Katya for the first time since he arrived.
“I assumed the worst when you called, and you’re acting sad and you’ve been crying and you’re drinking tea.”
“You offered me tea, this is your tea.”
“It’s horrible. I think my mom sent it to me as part of a housewarming gift.”
“That’s cute, actually. It’s comforting.”
“I’m glad.”
The thought struck Katya, then, that the reason why he subconsciously reached for tea when he heard Trixie’s distress is because that’s something his mom would have done. He found himself growing softer as he got older, and Pat’s influence certainly had something to do with it. He swallowed, an unexpected swell of emotion making his eyes blur. “What’s going on, Trix?”
Trixie took a deep breath, his eyes focusing on the TV, which wasn’t turned on.
“I haven’t even said it out loud yet. I’m…I don’t even know how to process it.”
Katya moved his arm to rest on the back of the top of the couch, trying to keep his breathing normal.
“Tell me.”
He watched Trixie swallow before the whisper finally pushed its way out. “David and I broke up.”
It was like Katya had been punched in the chest. All the air left him, the stillness of the room roaring in his ears.
What the fuck?
“Trixie, I’m…”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine.” Katya moved himself closer to Trixie on the couch, their knees almost brushing. “You don’t have to pretend it’s fine. It’s me, Trix.”
Trixie looked up, then, his eyes red and dark and hollow. “I fucking ruin everything.”
“You do not.”
“I do.” Trixie brought a hand to his forehead as if checking for a fever. “I gave him everything I could, but it wasn’t enough. I worked so fucking hard and I didn’t prioritize our relationship, didn’t choose us over extra gigs and friend’s parties and I know he hated me for it.”
Katya’s brow furrowed. “Trixie, I don’t think–”
“And I thought the motel and our shows and our house would help, because why wouldn’t it? We spent so much time together and we agreed on things and we made it ours and we shared it with the world. People were rooting for us and we tried so fucking hard.”
Katya shook his head softly. “We know better than anyone that what’s on TV isn’t reality, mama.”
“But it was, for us. That was the happiest we ever were, when we worked on those shows together. It was all real. We loved each other then, when we were creating together.”
Katya didn’t know what to say. “I’m so sorry, Trixie. You were together a long time, and I can’t imagine what this must feel like.”
That was true, but he definitely knew what David must be feeling. Katya had almost lost Trixie before when Katya left and pushed him away. Katya tried not to think about it often because it always filled him with regret, the most intense shame of his life. He missed Trixie the second he walked away, and when they finally reunited it felt like this fire that encased his brain every minute of the day was finally extinguished, smoking and charred but free of the heat of the flames. The pain David must be feeling was familiar, and he almost felt sorry for the guy. To lose Trixie was to lose everything.
“I just keep replaying it all in my head. What I could have done differently, you know?”
“I know. But he’s making a mistake, Trix.”
Trixie sniffled. “What do you mean?”
“Choosing to let you go, I mean. He will never find someone like you.”
Something flickered across Trixie’s eyes, then, though Katya couldn’t place it.
“Oh, you think he broke up with me.”
“Is that…not what happened?”
Trixie sighed, long and heavy. “No.”
“But I thought…sorry, I don’t know what I thought. You were saying you ruin everything.”
“I do. But I knew it was ruined and that we couldn’t fix it. And tonight he told me he wanted to do another season of the motel and I lost it. I…” A fresh wave of tears flooded Trixie’s eyes, and he tilted his head back and groaned. “This sucks so much.”
Katya’s head was spinning. He could tell things weren’t perfect with Trixie and David’s relationship for a long time, but to hear that Trixie broke it off because of not wanting to do a show that made him a lot of money was beyond surprising. Despite the stress of the show, they did seem happy together when they were filming it.
Trixie pulled his head back up and he placed the mug down on the coffee table, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”
Katya almost laughed at that, but mostly kept it together. “Honey, no.”
“I’m serious.”
“I am too. You are not a bad person for choosing what’s best for you. You haven’t been yourself for a while.”
Trixie swallowed. “Yeah.”
“And I think it’s really telling that you turned down the show. Not just because of the relationship aspect, but the fact that it’s work and it’s money and you love those things. You need a break, babe.”
Trixie nodded slowly. When he spoke, his voice was softer. “Am I a burden?”
Katya felt rage bubble instantly inside his chest–not at Trixie, but at whatever and whoever would make him feel that way. “Absolutely not.”
“But really. I’m needy, but I’m also a workaholic–”
“Trixie.”
“And I’m always wanting things done my way, and I go and visit my family a lot when I could be with–”
“Trixie, stop.”
Trixie did stop, his chest rising and falling with great effort. Katya didn’t want to have to tap into the sentimentality tonight, but here they were, and goddamn if he was going to let Trixie feel this way.
“You are not a burden. You take care of everyone, and you love so easily and freely it’s like magic sometimes. You are there when I need you and when I don’t need you and when I want you there, which is all the time. You are genuine and you make me feel alive when I don’t want to feel anything. You’ve…you saved me.”
A few tears fell from Trixie’s eyes and he didn’t wipe them away. They sat in silence for a few moments, the occasional whoosh of a car passing by outside the only sound breaking through the trance. Katya had so much else he wanted to say, but none of it seemed appropriate at the moment. Right now he just wanted to be a comfort, and he didn’t know how.
Finally, Trixie leaned forward and rested his forehead on Katya’s shoulder. Katya reached his hand back and rubbed it along Trixie’s upper back, tracing circles with his fingers.
“Can I stay tonight?” The words were muffled, but Katya could hear them as they vibrated against his shoulder.
“Of course. You want the guest room?”
“It’s creepy in there.”
Katya wheezed, and Trixie sat up, a small smile on his face. Katya kept his hand on Trixie, rubbing his arm lightly.
“You can sleep with me.”
“Your room is also kind of creepy, but ok.”
“Is it the dolls?”
“The dolls, the devil masks, the taxidermied animals.”
“I think they’re kind of charming.”
“Totally. In a Victorian, possessed Priest sort of way.”
“Can priests be possessed?”
“Priests can be anything they want to be.”
“Happy Pride.”
Trixie cackled. “I hate that.”
Katya stood up, making his way over to his front door and grabbing Trixie’s bags. “Let’s go to bed, mama.”
Trixie followed, and they spent the next twenty minutes slowly getting ready for bed. It was sickeningly domestic, but also, strangely, Katya’s favorite twenty minutes he’d ever spent with Trixie.
Later, they both lay in bed, a light breeze drifting in through a cracked window and making them shiver. Katya couldn’t see Trixie in the dark, but could hear his even breathing, and wondered when they'd last done this, shared a bed. It must have been years.
Just as he was about to drift into sleep, he heard Trixie’s soft voice.
Trixie was awake. It wasn’t uncommon anymore, between the late nights after shows and dj gigs, but this night was different.
“The end of an era,” Brandon kept saying, and Trixie knew he was right. He talked to Katya countless times about it, how this tour was absolutely too much, how they’d never do anything like this again, how they both had some solo things they were excited to do, and were also excited to be spending some time at home.
And truly, Trixie had meant it. This tour was so fucking much. The effort, the schedule, the amount of people it took to put on one of these two-hour monsters.
But he was having a moment now, out of drag, in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin and light dancing through the curtains from the hotel parking lot.
He was going to miss Katya.
He hated himself with every movement it took to reach for his phone on the nightstand and pull up Katya’s name, pressing the call button and holding it to his ear.
It rang twice before Katya picked up, his voice low.
“What in the hell, Tracy?”
“Hey.”
“You never call me at 3am anymore.”
Trixie let out an amused sound. Anymore.
“Were you sleeping?”
“No. Tired as fuck, though. You see me dancing out there tonight?”
The cast and crew had taken over a local bar, closing the place down as they played an eclectic mix of music from the bar’s old jukebox. Katya, as always, spent most of his time on the dance floor, which always made Trixie smile.
“Mama, who didn’t. You were JoJo Siwa out there.”
“Is that the only dancer you can think of?”
“Honestly? Yes.”
Katya wheezed on the other end of the line, and Trixie heard him shuffling around.
“What’s up, mama?”
Trixie swallowed, annoyed with the fact that he needed to hear Katya’s voice after seeing him an hour ago. “I think it’s finally hitting me. The show being over.”
Katya hummed in agreement. “It’s wild, isn’t it?”
“And of course we still have all of our other stuff, but this was a whole year. One entire year of our lives that just ended.”
“Yikes,” Katya said. “I mean, sure, that’s one way to look at it. But that means another year is beginning.”
Trixie could hear the amusement in Katya’s voice, the lightheartedness he was trying to bring to the moment. Trixie couldn’t blame him. Katya was sentimental about a few things, but never about work. And that’s what this was, just another project ending.
“I guess I’m just going to miss you, Brian.”
Katya was quiet for a moment. “I am literally seeing you in two days—“
“I know, I just mean in this context.” Trixie felt his chest starting to hurt. “It’s fine, I know you don’t care that much about it ending—“
“Oh no no, hold on there,” Katya interrupted, his voice suddenly serious. “You don’t get to call me on my cellular telephone at three in the morning and tell me I don’t care. We are not doing that.”
Trixie swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, you need to know that as excited as I am to have some time at home and to relax and do other things, that doesn’t mean this wasn’t the best year of my fucking life.”
Trixie sucked in a breath. “Really?”
“You bet your ass, Mary. I am so tired and my hips are about ready to fall off my decrepit body but I have loved every single show we’ve done together. It’s been hilarious and stupid and fun. I’m going to miss it.”
Trixie felt a tear fall and quickly wiped it away in the darkness. “Me too.”
It was quiet for a minute, both of them breathing into the phone, trying to find the words.
Trixie cleared his throat. “Brian?”
“Yeah?”
Trixie took a deep breath, but his words still came out in a whisper. “Would you ever do this again? With me?”
“You mean tour?”
“Yeah.”
Trixie’s chest pounded, his heart heavy with sharing this vulnerability and the weight of a very fresh ending swirling around him.
“Trixie?”
Trixie sniffled. “Yeah?”
“I’d do pretty much anything with you.”
Trixie pulled the phone away from his ear, a deep, shuddering sob wracking his body. He took a moment, breathing deeply, the weight of what he was feeling starting to ease, slowly, as he took in Katya’s words.
He pulled the phone back to his ear. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
“I’m a mess.”
Katya chuckled, his voice gravelly, thick with exhaustion. “You’re ok, diva.”
“Two days, huh?”
“Two days. Back at it, money never sleeps, yadda yadda.”
“Will I see you tomorrow before your flight?”
“I’m getting up at 7am to work out if you’d like to join me.”
“Gross, ew, no thank you. I will meet you for breakfast, though.”
Katya laughed. “Alright. Go to sleep, mama. We can cry in the morning.”
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She looked around at the almost empty porch, finding Lena propped up on a railing, dangling her legs as she spoke animatedly to a person almost completely covered in shadow. Whoever it was sat in a lawn chair, legs spread out and a cigarette dangling from their fingers. Trixie watched as smoke rose into the air, higher and higher, catching the light of the moon as it peeked from behind the clouds.
Summary: Trixie is a senior in college and her world is about to be rocked by a girl she meets at a party. This fic is just, truly, an excuse for me to write lesbian smut. Enjoy!
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You think we can get a cute lil valentine t and k fic please??🥺
I am so sorry, I tried to get my shit together enough to write something for yesterday and simply didn’t have it in me. But here, this is for you. A lil valentines FaceTime from our faves. 💕
Katya: Trixieeeee.
Trixie: Oh hi, hello. Who are you again? Who is this FaceTiming me?
Katya: Your dead grandmother, bitch. Here to collect your bones.
Trixie: I’ll keep my bones, thank you. What are you doing?
Katya: A lot of fucking sewing, Mary.
Trixie: God, yeah. Can you believe we start the last leg in two days?
Katya: I sat outside this morning and was both so pissed and so grateful at the same time.
Trixie: That’s actually really sweet.
Katya: Well it’s true. Feeling sentimental today. Plus it’s Valentine’s Day.
Trixie: I forget about it every year.
Katya: It sneaks up on us. Are you celebrating?
Trixie: Nope. David’s not even in town. Plus we have so much to fucking do. Brandon’s been here the past week just trying to get shit together.
Katya: I think at this point we should just throw some shit in a bag and call it a day.
Trixie: They get what they get.
Katya: They got what they got.
Trixie: We did what we did. Are you celebrating?
Katya: Maybe.
Trixie: …Okay great. Love the detail. The cool thing about calling someone is that both of you can contribute to the conversation-
Katya: I’m sorry! I usually don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day, am I supposed to?
Trixie: I mean, you don’t have to. It’s nice to appreciate your person.
Katya: I appreciate him all the time.
Trixie: I’m not talking about tongue in hole, I’m talking about flowers and shit.
Katya: I think hole is more romantic, personally.
Trixie: You think a lot of things about a lot of things.
Katya: Thank you so much.
Trixie: Are you ready to see me all day every day again? Get sick of me and my bullshit?
Katya: I’m not sure why you always say that.
Trixie: What do you mean?
Katya: I’m never sick of you, mama. That’s never an issue.
Trixie: Oh.
Katya: Yeah.
Trixie: I…I’m not sure I like sentimental Katya.
Katya: Sorry, do you want me to yell at you or something?
Trixie: Yes please.
Katya: Okay, uh. Here I go.
Trixie: Okay.
Katya:
Trixie: Are you gonna—
Katya: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Trixie: Jesus Christ!
Katya: You told me to yell at you!
Trixie: I meant like, talk dirty to me. It’s Valentine’s Day!
Katya: Yikes.
Trixie: Fine, I’ll talk dirty to myself.
Katya: Like the Lord intended.
Trixie: Call me tomorrow, okay?
Katya: Okay. I’m gonna go appreciate a hole with my tongue.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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