I am my own, before I'm anyone else's

It’s so fucking heartbreaking when you realize the person who you trusted the most, who meant everything to you, who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, never cared for you at all. Instead he just used you for his own advantage, lied and betrayed you while you still gave him all the love you had.

I know you never hurt me on purpose. I know you invested so much in us. I know you are mentally ill. But I simply can‘t do this anymore. I‘m not the one on who you can let all your pain and anger out.

I want to create things. Do things. Be inspiring. And I thought you are the person I can do it with. But I was totally wrong. You were the one who made me stand still instead of helping me to grow.

Love isn‘t about possessing someone. It is about letting the other person grow, be her/himself. Real love doesn‘t want to lock somebody up. It is about to let them be free and know that he is always going to come back.

I knew from the beginning that he isn‘t the right one for me. I don‘t know why I was this stupid and still got together with him. Always thought that he is going to change and that it will get easier but deep down I knew I lied to myself. Maybe it was just exactly what I needed. Making this experience to know even more exactly what I want and do not want. I needed this to grow und be more aware of some signs in my next relationship. I think I won‘t ever get in those kind of relationships again.

In a relationship you don‘t put each other in cages and throw away the keys. You help your partner grow wings and watch him fly, knowing he will come back to you.

Lowkey trying to stop feeling so weak because I let him play with me for month but I‘m still kinda loving him.

I hate that you told all your friends what a miserable girlfriend I was but you know what? In the end it says more about you than about me and we both know the truth.

I‘m slowly starting to learn that I‘m not responsible for any other person‘s happiness or their choices.

Now it‘s time to be selfish. To find myself again. I am going to do what I love without thinking about the reactions of others. I am free.