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problem with dating apps is having to describe yourself in a way that makes you seem like a person with a rich interior life and sometimes you’re just not that guy. sometimes you’re just a guy who takes psychedelics and electrocutes himself constantly. and thats it

Lab Rat speaking to their Therapist

leave your fucking parties. and get on here and blog

New Year’s Day Traditions: The disposal of the fruitcake

Fear not the man who has smoked 10,000 cigarettes once, but the man who has smoked 1 cigarette 10,000 times

Happy new year 🤪

Man fuck you flylo

😢

Babies should never be on planes, they have not sinned in any way deserving of the hell we have made air travel. Ship them by USPS so the angels at the postal service will teleport them across the country via a portal of cardboard and packing tape.

hey sorry your boyfriend entered the public domain. yeah no exclusive intellectual property rights apply to him anymore. yeah no one needs permission to use him in their published works. yeah people are publishing books about him being in love with his best friend now. sorry. i'm so sorry.