"You say goldbricker, I say gold𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘳."

A certain someone had decided to take a nap for some much-needed rest after the events of the last m!a’s (and in general.)

And also forgot to set his alarm.

The cat is uncannily still while you slip the hat on, despite his fur raising and the clear aggression. He’s already lost most of his dignity like this. At least the bed’ll be useful until this wears off and he can go home properly.

[M!A: 12/12. END]

There’s a sudden poof! and Ramsey’s left briefly disoriented on the floor. It doesn’t take him long to get his bearings, however, and he wastes no time in darting the one that left him the bed and this RIDICULOUS party hat.

(@perce-king) 

Within seconds of Perce coming into his line of sight, the kitten was bounding over to him, meowing loudly all the while. Fucking finally! Someone he recognizes! 

You die tonight. He will ensure this. Annoyingly small feline body or not.

A glare and a low growl under his breath. He definitely eats the salami, but he doesn’t wait until you’re long since gone.

Still not in his good graces yet.

Be it out of morbid curiosity or something else, he actually lets you give him a scritch or two. And like dough, he just stretches up so you could scritch some more. It’s nice... for a moment.

And then soon enough he’s turning around and biting the shit out of your hand. Thaaaaat’s enough.

At the offer of money, he gives you as deadpan of a look a kitten can muster. The hell is he going to do with money? He’s a cat. Everything is virtually useless to him by this point, he can’t buy anything. Not to mention that even if he could buy things, he has plenty of money leftover from bounty rewards and his epithet.

He does look up at the mention of salami though. You even get a twitch of his nose! 

There’s a brief moment where he stares hard at his hand- paw? Paw.

His tail swashes back and forth quickly as he discovers that yes, he is still capable of using his epithet while stuck like this. 

Surprisingly, though, he doesn’t turn you to gold. The real reason behind this is because he doesn’t want to be associated with being a bounty hunter. Not like this. He worked hard on his image! Doesn’t want to ruin it by outing himself— he can only imagine how seriously his bounties would take him after finding out that Ramsey Murdoch, nova class bounty hunter was turned into a kitten.

So, he’ll play into the role for now and play nice. He’s just a harmless, little kitty. 

Still gives you a nasty look though.

Of course. Of course you would! He doesn’t know what he was expecting by this point. Mercy, maybe? Now that he’s danced around some like a circus monkey for you clowns? The kitten just gives a disgruntled mrr and plops itself down, curling up.

Guess he should start getting comfy. 

// BASIL I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE FUCK AWUAY FROM MY BLOG WHY WOULD YOU SUBMIT THIS. WHAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT LED YOU TO THINK “HM YES CURLY WILL ENJOY THIS VERY MUCH! VERY EPIC.. NICE TOES MR CAT MAN” 

You get a thankful purr! He knows exactly what he’s going to do with this newfound powe-

Nope no no no fuck that fuck that he changed his mind oh christ that is HORRID that is ATROCIOUS 

Immediately he rushes over and starts sharpening his claws. He doesn’t say thank you, though even if he were capable of human speech at the moment I doubt he would. 

…

He shoots a glance over at Artemis. There’s a low growl, and then a mrrrrr. That’s about as close a “thanks” as she’s getting.

Oh god oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck h

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! FUCK OFF! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO HIM. 

✽ “MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MROW! MRRRrrrrryaaAAa—”

Okay. Okay, alright. This is fine. It’s April Fool’s Day. That’s going to be a really, really good thing once he’s back to normal. Shame he doesn’t have opposable thumbs as a cat to commit murder.

He’s a patient man. He can wait.

✽ “RrrrRRrr...........” 

The cat growls, shooting a passing glance over its shoulder. It’s not interested in the treat. It’s not a fucking animal!

Oh, wait, that’s right, currently he IS A FUCKING ANIMAL. GOD. GOD DAMMIT. HE’S SO MAD. HE’S SO UNBELIEVABLY MAD AND HE CAN’T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HE’S STUCK IN THIS FUCKING FUR BABY VESSEL.

✽ “No no nO NON ONO N-” He immediately golds himself and dives onto his stomach in a futile attempt to avoid the magic, but alas… he’s too late. There’s a giant POOF and a yeowl before the dust begins to settle.  

Would you look at that! It’s a persian kitten.

Ah. It… appears the kitten is screaming. 

✽ “MaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”