Gaying The World One Student At A Time

A/N: Now that this fic is completed, I figured I’d throw a link to it up here in case anyone missed it! Happy new year, all!

Chapter Preview:

The press of Alex’s lips against Maggie’s was so impossibly soft. So much softer than Maggie remembered, and god, she’d spent a lot of time remembering it. Remembering the way Alex had looked up at her with those big eyes, the way her heart had thudded almost painfully when she realized that every ounce of Alex’s attention was on her, the way Alex had pulled her in and cupped her jaw in her hands like she never wanted to lose her, wanted to keep her right there with her and make the rest of the world disappear. Of course, Maggie could taste the whiskey she’d just bought Alex on her lips—and knowing Alex and how stressed she’d been with the whole ordeal, was absolutely certain there had been more before she arrived—so she stepped back, ducking her head down to keep Alex from seeing the look of pure want she was sure would be written so clearly on her features. Because that wasn’t what Alex needed. She didn’t need someone with a relationship track record like Maggie’s. She didn’t need someone who carried the weight of failed commitments and broken ties and a bone-deep conviction that nothing she did would ever be enough to make up for all the ways she failed. No, Alex needed fun and light. She needed to meet people—people who weren’t Maggie. She needed to see the world and what it had to offer someone as brilliant and beautiful and perfect as she was. And Maggie swore to herself right then that she would be there for Alex through every step of the way—as a friend, a best friend, a best friend who most definitely didn’t curl into Alex’s side on the couch in their shared apartment at the end of most nights and wish she could press a trail of tender kisses across her jawline and tell her just how beautiful she was. And it worked well enough. Within a week, Alex seemed to have forgotten all about the drunken kiss, and Maggie plastered a forced smile onto her lips and chalked it up to the thrill of coming out and pretended like she didn’t still dream about black leather jackets and slightly calloused hands and soft lips pressing against her own.

A soft whimper escaped Alex’s lips, and Maggie snapped back to reality, trying to balance the rush of aching want with the pang of guilt for having let herself slip too far into the kiss, sucking Alex’s lower lip between her teeth and flicking across it with her tongue.

This was for a bet. Nothing more.

Figuring a minute had probably passed, if not longer, Maggie forced herself to pull back, forced herself to look less than dazed, forced herself to clear her throat and smile at Alex like they hadn’t just shared one of the best minutes of Maggie’s life.

Mon-El winked at the two of them, making Maggie’s stomach churn, then patted Alex on the shoulder. “You’re welcome.” He shot her a thumbs up before high-tailing it out of the apartment, muttering some random nonsense about giving them space and putting in earplugs and keeping Winn busy. But Maggie was still caught on the, “You’re welcome.” Then again, she reasoned, it was likely about the apartment. He probably assumed that Alex had been the one desperate to move back across the hall since, well, she’d gone and done it—bet be damned.

“So.” Maggie forced herself to shoot Alex her closest approximation to a normal smile that any average person would give to their best friend who they most definitely were not in love with and who they most definitely had not been thinking about dragging into their newly reclaimed bedroom mere moments ago…maybe still. “Uh, should we order some victory pizza? Celebrate getting the apartment back?”

“Um. I need to go.”

A wave of panic rolled over Maggie, making her stomach roil and her skin go clammy and her thoughts threaten to spiral out of control. She’d done it. She’d pushed too goddam far on the kiss, let herself get too swept up in it, and now Alex was leaving for good. “Oh, uh, I’m—I’m sorry. I can just—I can give you the apartment for the night, or—”

“It’s fine.” Alex still wouldn’t make eye contact, and Maggie wanted to cry. Or build a time machine and send herself way back to before they’d ever made the stupid bet. “I just—I have to go.”

“Alex!”

But Alex was already through the front door, her keys still dangling from the hook Maggie had installed after a few too many mornings spent watching Alex rummage through the pockets of too many jackets before she found them.

Also, Sanvers. Duh. ;)

“Say it.”

“Maggie. Come on.”

“Say it.”

Here’s all the main characters Arrow has ever had: Oliver, Laurel E1, Laurel E2, Tommy, Diggle, Thea, Moira, Quentin, Felicity, Roy, Slade, Malcolm, Curtis, Adrian, Rene, Dinah, and Diaz.

One of them is gay out of a total of 17.

Here’s all the main characters Legends has ever had: Martin, Ray, Rip, Sara, Jax, Kendra, Carter, Mick, Leonard, Eobard, Amaya, Gideon, Nate, Zari, Wally, Ava, Constantine, and Nora.

Two are bisexual and one is gay out of a total of 18.

Here’s all the main characters The Flash has ever had: Barry, Iris, Caitlin, Cisco, Eobard, Harrison, Joe, Cecile, Wally, Julian, DeVoe, Ralph, Nora, and Cicada.

As of now, none have been LGBTQ+.

Here’s all the main characters Supergirl has ever had: Kara, James, Alex, Winn, J’onn, Cat, Mon-El, Maggie, Lena, Reign, Braniac 5, Agent Liberty, Dreamer, Nia.

Two are gay and one is transgender out of 13.

The greater majority of LGBTQ+ characters we’ve had have been only recurring or guest characters: Nyssa, Nick Anastas, William, Emily, Guinevere, Digsy Foss, Gary, Paul, Rob, Singh, Ray Terrill, Lindsay, Queen Anne, and E-X Snart.

All of these characters have only had extremely short lived onscreen relationships/no actual onscreen relationships (Nyssa, Paul, William, Emily, Gary) or had very little significant screen time in general (Nick, Lindsay, Guinevere, Anne, Singh, Rob) or were from another universe who showed up for 5 minutes in one single episode (Digsy, Ray Terrill, E-X Snart).

So here’s the total number of main, recurring, and significant guest characters we’ve had on all four shows: 195

Here’s the total number of main, recurring, and significant guest LGBT characters we’ve had on all four shows: 21

So roughly 10% of all characters have been LGBTQ+. That’s about equal to the percentage of LGBTQ+ people in the world population. Saying there’s “too many” LGBTQ+ characters in these shows is just pathetic.

Representation is so so so important. I know it has helped me be comfortable with my sexuality, and I’m sure it’s helped many more.

This last week we decided that we had to rehome our beloved dog.

A few weeks ago we contacted the rescue we got him from and asked for advice because he’s bit seven people, including both of us, and he bites or tries to bit my wife roughly once a week, if not more. We told them we didn’t want to rehome him but were feeling completely at our wit’s end. Then on Monday of this last week, he hurt himself. He hurt himself really badly, and the surgery was prohibitive for us. He hurt himself really badly and we realized, with startling clarity, that my wife couldn’t take care of him. He needed to be picked up to go outside (second story apartments and spinal injuries don’t mix well) and she can’t consistently get near him without him trying to bite her.

So this last week we decided that we had to rehome our dog.

On Thursday morning I said goodbye to him and then I left town for a work trip. On Friday she dropped him off back at his foster’s house. And tonight I’m alone in our apartment and he isn’t here and I’m so fucking…just eviscerated.

My therapist says I should notice my thoughts when I’m upset. Well, she’s in luck, because I’m really fucking upset. Here are my thoughts.

I’m angry.

I’m angry at the rescue we got him from. I’m angry at the rescue that sold us a dog they knew had aggression issues. I’m angry that he wasn’t fully vaccinated, that he was seriously sick three times. I’m angry that they saw these dynamics in him when he was with his foster – the extreme attachment to one person, the resource guarding, the body posture that was a wind-up to biting a person – and they gave him to us anyway. I’m angry that they said now “we wouldn’t have given him to you if we’d known you wanted kids,” when we both remember saying that clearly.

I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at myself for letting it go this far. For keeping my wife in this situation for so long. For not standing up for her immediately. For not walking the walk after saying to her, so early on, if it comes down to it, obviously you’re more important than the dog. For getting in so deep that I didn’t realize how bad it was.

I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at myself for not being able to make it work. For what feels a lot like giving up. For not knowing enough, for not being smart or experienced enough to stop this immediately. For not being able to fix this. For not saying, fuck our savings, let’s give him this surgery. For saying “we don’t have the money” when we do have it, we just have planned to spend it on other things. Buying a house, making kids, supporting ourselves while she’s out of work and figuring out what type of job will make her happy.

I’m angry. I’m angry at myself for not asking the right questions. For not being able to read between the lines of what they told us. For not realizing that when the foster said “my wife will be so glad he was adopted” that it meant the dog was mean to her wife, not that they had too many dogs. For when she said “he’s very attached to me,” it meant that he’d try to bite anyone who wasn’t her. And I’m angry because I couldn’t have known.

I’m heartbroken.

I’m so impossibly sad. I love him so much. He was so important to me, so special.

Two weeks after we got him, my wife left for two months in France, and it was just him and me. During that time I was officially diagnosed with MS, and he was the one that I cried to every night. He was the one I held, I snuggled, I fell asleep with on the couch. We had just moved here and I hadn’t made friends, and he was the one who jumped up and down with ecstasy every time I came home. He was the one who made me feel like I had somewhere to be, like I had someone to come home to. He was the one who always wanted to be with me, to be next to me, to comfort me and love me. He and I would just look at each other, sometimes, and even though I was in a blind panic about my body, I would feel still and calm and safe and loved and like maybe everything was going to be okay.

I am completely heartbroken.

I hate him.

I hate him for how wonderful he always was when it was just the two of us. I hate him for how much I love him, for how good he was to me. For how close we were. For how important he was to me. For how close we were. How attached.

I hate him for how much harder this is because of that.

I hate him for making my break my promise to him that he’d be with us forever, that he’d never need to be afraid again.

I hate him for making my wife afraid to walk around her own home, to reach down and pet her own dog when he was asking for affection, to feed him, to pick him up, to sit on the right side of the couch, to uncross her legs, to walk over to the fridge, to touch me when he was on my lap.

I’m confused and uncertain.

My parents never forgave him after he bit them, and we kept saying they’re being ridiculous. But now I’m so mad at myself because I have to wonder if they were right. I’m not sure who was right and what was real and where we should have drawn the line. He bit us the first week and we said he’s just scared and adjusting. When we were both gone for two weeks and he was staying with them, he bit my parents and the vet but we said he’s really sick and we’re both gone and he’s staying in their house and he’s scared. And he bit my wife again and again and again and we said oh you walked too near his food or we said he hates the crate or we said stupid fucking dog.

Where was the line? Should we have returned him that first week? After we came back from our trips? Should we have gotten him in the first place? Should we still have him? Should we have spent the 2k on the trainer and the 7k on the surgery to try harder to make it work?

I hate my body because I can’t even get drunk to deal with any of it (or at least deaden it for now).

I’m angry at myself.

I wish I could say, we made the right decision. Period. End of thought.

I think we made the right decision. But here I am, after the right decision, a fucking mess.

I’m ashamed.

I’m ashamed. I don’t want to tell people. Could someone else have made it work? Will people think we should have kept him, that we gave up, that we’re bailing just because it got hard, that if we’d tried harder we could have made it work? Will people think we should have given him back the first week? And I know the answer to all of those questions is yes and that’s so much worse, in some ways.

How do I tell people? Put out a facebook announcement? Post a goodbye tribute on my Instagram? He isn’t dead. He’s gone from our house because we decided on that. All my pictures, my whole camera roll, everything is him. How does one tell everyone in their sphere – my friends from college and grad school and all the students from my last job and from my wife’s family – that we decided to give up on our dog? That we love him and care about him and let him terrorize us for months but now we’re giving him away?

I don’t want to tell people, but I don’t want them to think we still have him. “Does he have a Halloween costume??” a friend texted recently. I didn’t say anything, because we hadn’t decided yet, but I wondered if he’d be around by Halloween.

One of the items on the list of 30 things we’re going to do for my wife’s 30th year was “dress him in a costume.” We never did it (and it would have been so cute).

I don’t want to get that text again, but I don’t want to tell anyone because I’m so ashamed. Everything we did was wrong. Keeping him was wrong, giving him back is wrong, we’re saying he’s better off but is he?

I honestly don’t know and I fucking hate that.

I fucking hate this.

Your dog got ‘really badly’ hurt on your watch and you lied and said you didn’t have the money for his surgery?

Rehoming him I completely understand, he’s obviously not the right fit for your home and in particular your wife.

But you could have paid for his surgery before giving him back.

Without it he’ll have a much harder time finding a new home and from the sounds of it will be in pain.

Just handing him back over when he’s injured even though it happened under your care and you could afford to help him?

That’s just cold.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

A Japanese Snow White with her coveted pale skin and shiny black hair

Mexican Cinderella with colorful Mexican glass blown slippers

Greek Beauty and the Beast where Beast is a minotaur

I really liked this idea

Chapter 4: If you don’t Tell me what I Need to Know, I will set Your whole Family on Fire! With only my Mind!

They spend a few more days in the shielded room until they can form as many of the combinations for a cardinal shield as possible. The shield between Maggie, Alex, Kara, and Lena remains the strongest out of any of the possibilities, but Alex also loves the quiet peace of merging with J’onn, James, and Lena.

And the near-frantic energy of a shield with both Winn and Kara in it could probably power a small city for years. It’s fun, and it leaves Alex hyper for hours afterwards.

But then, abruptly, it’s over. They graduate from USDMAMANC. There’s no ceremony, no pomp, no robes. They simply shake hands with their instructors and move their belongings out of the USDMAMANC housing. (The Air mages are kind enough to summon strong enough winds to carry all of their belongings into the waiting trucks).

“If we ever need you,” Nancy tells them, absently overseeing the boxes and suitcases flying past her head, “We’ll be in touch.”

“How will you reach us?” Kara asks, a little breathlessly. “Will you send me a Nereid or a Selkie in the bathtub with a message?”

Alex balks – she and Kara are going back to their separate apartments, but still. She doesn’t want to have to check for mermaids or sea monsters every time she needs to pee during Sister Night.

But Nancy just stares blankly at Kara, doing what appears to be her best impression of Kevin. “I’ll text you.”

“Oh! Haha. Right.” Kara looks completely crestfallen.

Alex puts a comforting arm around her, even as the pamphlet pops, fully formed, into her brain.

Even though you’re an Accomplished Mage, you can Still use your Smart Phone to send electronic Textual Messages! It isn’t Suddenly the year 1820!

The official trailer for Tell it To The Bees

Ever wonder what it would be like if Alex taught Kara her cape tricks?

We did too.

This brainstorming session got very silly, very quickly…as is only appropriate at midnight.

❤️❤️❤️ youuuus @performativezippers and @theglassesareafacade.