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#text post#my posts#personal#ignore this#i just need to get it Out#and i don't really have anyone to talk to#so#lol#i just feel so. lonely.#i already spent so much of my time alone and that got to me bad enough#but now ?#it's so much worse#even when i'm not alone it feels like i am lonelier than ever#and there's not anything i can even really do about it#all i can do right now is Wait#and#i already struggled with not getting the amount of physical contact i need but it was fine#i am an Extremely Tactile person#and i am fine compromising on that kinda thing bc i know it can be A Lot#it's a struggle sometimes but i am happy to#but now there is absolutely nothing#and it's fucking hard#it's fucking Hard™#all of it#and so i am just. shutting off.#everything feels like it's shutting down bit by bit#and i am just getting. not emptier or more numb. um.#blanker ?#yeah. blanker. i feel like i am just getting more Nothing. bc idk how else to deal with all this loneliness and no physical contact.#all i can really do is shut off. even if it's not a voluntary shutdown i can at least pretend to myself it is. try to convince myself it is.
