BELLADONNA

i think i just want to let myself go completely as a cleanser. then i can go back to being a functional person. give me one week to write on the walls with my own blood, pull out my hair, destroy all of my belongings, and cry for hours on end & i promise that i will never feel this sadness again. i’ll be a perfect saint.

we’ve been pulled together just to be torn apart. why does the universe do that?

as i child, i remember looking towards my future with this great anticipation. now i look at my past with melancholy nostalgia, anger, and resentment. i keep asking myself what is the point of all of this. i cannot stop or alter the flow of time. i have to grow up, but what for?

life feels like a fraction of what it could/should be.