P.S. The Fernweh Type

I'm so tired. I need like a week of sleep. And, the hellish summer is here. Time to melt mentally and physically.

Vibes: Don't Wanna Be Here by Boyfifty and Naits

"I'm still feeling fucked, fucked in the head I need a break I don't wanna be here Running out of luck in the end I need a friend Everybody disappeared from my life and again I don't intend to push it all away

How do we feel while we fade? I need to go back, need you like yesterday, I'm Feelin' too much, only thing left in my mind Is how you played me, you came around but left me alone

I broke the silence.

He read it. And ghosted me.

Dear … ,

I honestly have no idea where or how to start this letter. I’m writing this as a goodbye or see you soon that we didn’t get the chance to experience. Foremost, I didn’t get the chance to give you the gift that would make you authentically elated. Inspired utmost. Something that would make you remember why you’re so happy every time you come back to Granada. And maybe give you another reason to look forward to. A poem and two mini albums; one for you, and one for your best friend, when I captured you together being so happy on one of the rainiest night of the year. You would have loved that. He would have loved that. The saddest part is, you knew about this gift. We were supposed to meet on Sunday, but we didn’t. It’s sad how easily two people can let things fade into silence. Silence that nobody expects, after all that has been said, felt and experienced.

Every time, when I genuinely believe in the concept of being happy and single, the universe interrupts my organised boxes in my head. Laughing at my plans for the future that I constantly visualise. That happened to me the day we met. And even though I believe in souls, connections, energy, loyalty, love “till death do us part”, and that everything happens for a reason; I didn’t manifest you into my life. I still have no idea what the reason is for meeting you.

On the day when I was not supposed to go out, I found a spiritual shop next to my place with rocks that transmit energy. The saleswoman asked me if I wanted to buy the “love rock”, and I laughed and said that I’m definitely not manifesting this into my life. So, later that day, something told me that I should go out. Ironically, it was the night of the 27th – my favourite and lucky number.

Do you remember how we met? I do, vividly. I entered the club with no expectations, with some people whom I had just met. There you were... (...)

Rzeczy, o których teraz ci nie powiem.

2026 vs 2019

7 years apart. And it still gives the same feeling.

[PL] Jestem zauroczona. W mieście też. Ale „zauroczenie” to niewyjaśniona magia, a „miłość” to słowo rozsądku, a granica między uwielbieniem a obojętnością jest bardzo cienka. To bardzo proste. Czekałam już wystarczająco długo. Więc zamiast braku słów lub ich nadmiaru, wyślij mi pusty list. List i tak zaginie, a my będziemy się zastanawiać, które z nas milczy i marnuje czas na idiotyczne gierki. Będziesz się zastanawiać, dlaczego wciąż tkwisz w miejscu pełnym melodii, gdzie kiedyś nasze niewinne spojrzenia były warte tysiąca słów. Prawda jest taka, że ostatecznie to ty mnie tracisz. Pytanie pozostaje: „Co by było, gdyby?”. – P.S. The Fernweh Type

I rarely share photos of myself, but maybe it's time to change that. Here's me at dusk, right after the sunset. And in the background, the Alhambra view.

So, when I go out with my camera (or not even with a camera, but to any social event), I look for people who feel deeply, love to talk about the profound stuff, are passionate about adventures and are not afraid of being intense and spontaneous. It's the vibe I'm looking for.

Just... don't complicate life as it already is. Live. Like. Love. Talk. Learn. Grow. Fear. Travel. Laugh. And, for fox's sake, just fucking tell them you like them. The worst that can happen is that they will tell you they're not interested, so you'll save yourself a lot of precious time. :)