ExaltedMetamorphosis

It’s a cold Friday night and you’re sitting in front of your laptop screen, browsing through the latest movie trailers whilst TLC plays on your flatscreen TV as your preferred ambient cacophony-mirroring your intense boredom with the tattered state of affairs ( current and personal-I mean have you looked at the European borders recently?) like the Murakami book in your bag that soaked for two days in a pool of leaked Pepsi and Old Monk mix-because one never knows when an occasion demands booze but one ALWAYS knows that most often than not, one cannot afford it. Suddenly, Nigella Lawson provocatively leans over a boulder of deep mahogany-flecked baked goodness and slices into the pie with a knife as sharp as the sarcasm you greeted your friends with this morning and slides out a steaming oozy-woozy-boozy goodness of cinnamon-apple pie and you feel like all these years of celibacy was just robbed of you through a forced penetration of mental pleasure that we call foodgasm. You stand up, uncertain, giddy. You observe the pie. You close the YouTube tab and open out nigellalawson.com and you flick through the pictures of the pie, the videos featuring the pie, the people eating the pie and slowly, the pie is all that you can think of. You want that pie. You want Nigella Lawson to make you that pie. You want her to lick her lips as she seductively slobbers over her words whilst sliding that big huge slice of warmth and goodness onto your plate. For the next hour, you move from a situation wherein you start a bakery and attain world-renown-status so great that Nigella Lawson decides that it’s an honour to cook for you, to stalking her through the streets of London and arriving at her doorstep with her son at knifepoint and demanding that she bake it for you…resulting in the most duh-worthy moment of the Stockholm syndrome in which case, she asks you to live with her and thus be fed everyday.

Once you’re done recovering from the fumes of spontaneous combustion that your brain just underwent, you look at the situation more practically. You pick up the phone and decide to call that Aunt of yours who has been asking you to come over for dinner ever since you moved to this part of town 4 years ago. Oh yes. She made some brilliant apple pie, you recount. But then you’d remember that she has two twelve-year-old twins, a 6-month-old baby and a sick mother-in-law and the thought of having to deal with pimple-hormone overdosed pre-teens and two individuals not in control of their bowel movements was enough to deter you from that action.

So then you look around and remember…you have the ingredients listen out there on that recipe. It’s 2 in the morning and all this obsessing over the pie made you forget about dinner altogether. You need some food-loving. So you decide to get your baking brain on-no, not THAT kind of baking you high flying rascal- and get to work. Two and a half hours later, you’re sitting in your balcony with your favourite show on while munching happily on your soggy but beautiful pastry in cinnamon syrup. And yes, your kitchen might be a mess and the pie didn’t look as appetizing as what Nigella made but it’s what you needed. You needed an Apple Pie and you made your apple pie and you took selfies with your apple pie and you’ve instagrammed it and people want a slice of your apple pie they want to embrace the free love your apple pie makes them feel and one day, you’ll perfect this apple pie and your kids will pass down this version of your apple pie and generations later, YOUR apple pie will be the one people lust after.

Barbie or toys soldiers? Dresses or shorts? Unable to pick, When mother’s around.

A watchful eye, hovering, Lipstick away from reach, ‘Man up! Shoot the deer!’ Grudgingly done, a boundary breached.

Alien in forced dresses, donned stone-washed jeans, Ashamed of the blooming bosom, cannot be stopped, Drowning in a size too large, chafe the excess, Look past my body, see beyond the mundane binary block.

A life of morals preached, Vaulted white-ceiling, echoing prayers, Virtues propagated for a two face being, Our chasm widens, banished to the Devil’s lair. .

A struggle left unrecognized, An abomination, a freak, A lonely walk, hand grasping air, A chair is dragged, the floorboards creak.

Well this is strange. It’s been years since I've done this but it just seems natural to do this for you. Natural. Yet, strange. Strange because it’s the first time I’ve managed to upset you, and been aware of the same. Natural because it’s like talking to myself (only we’ll understand the significance of this statement and truly appreciate it). Things never really go the way they’re planned now do they? My plan for this letter was not supposed to be delivered today. Not at all. This letter had huge plans. Majorrrr plans. But all fail. Cause well, we don’t really do the expected things, now do we? We’re the stuff of books, of movies and fantasy. We work where reality and society tells us there’s no hope. We set ego aside and do the unexpected, which invariably, is the expected. We’re a contradiction in ourselves, as we were always meant to be, as I always thought we’d be ever since you made that analogy between a movie like pre-destination and us. We happened when all rationality said it wouldn’t. An exception to the rule. And I’d wish to preserve that. Cause when life hands you something so painfully rare, so precariously precious, so teeteringly well-balanced and so alarmingly well-matched, you take all those prefixes and makes them one big, beautiful, perfect little cave of warmth and comfort and stick a middle finger sign outside it for the rest of the world to look on. Cause essentially, that’s what we are. A big ‘fuck-you’ to all things cynical. We’re the big cheese on the triple cheeseburger, the extra chocolate sauce on the DBC sundae, the baked beans in the silent toot post a masala dosa, the punch in the gunpowder we’d eat every morning, the hollandaise in the eggs benedict and everything that makes life all that more interesting (I know you secretly bask in the aroma of your bombarding little putrid explosions). All this time, you made me feel like I needed to change nothing about myself because all the change had to come from you. You fool. Don’t you see? We’re the same person. Only developed in different ways. I have my flaws, and there’s no one better to point them out than you. Because I know you mean well. I know you have no selfish interests or ulterior motives in them. This can’t ever be a one-way thing, bae. I’m too afraid to lose you. And I’d do anything to make you happy. Because your happiness results in mine. But what makes us both happy, is this. US. YOU AND ME. And we want to be happy together. Thus, we need to be prepared to do anything for this. And I’m ready, bae. For life. For anything this shitty world has to throw at us. Cause when with you, even the shit from slumdog millionaire looks like chocolate pudding (which, incidentally, it was…look at us, seeing through life’s facades, so studly). We need to go ahead and protect the future of our world because there are very few stellar individuals like us who’ve found their better halves (you’re actually mine, as much as we both state otherwise). Amanda Palmer is already having a kid, bae. We need to act fast. Our kid needs to be in the same generation. Or. No. Our kids will have their own generation. And they’ll have music inspired by them, books, entire thought processes. Just like their parents. I want to change the world. You do too. But we can’t change anything unless we change ourselves first. Change everything we aren’t happy with. I’ve done this once before. Alone. Changed everything. But then that resulted in my going to an extreme. I don’t want that again. You balance me. You tell me to look out for myself. I know I can get a bit harsh bae, I know I do. I know I can come off too strong and make you feel like I don’t give a shit about what you think. I don’t mean to. I just want you to think harder. But I probably am not doing it in the right manner. And this is my apology to you. Only because I’m not there with you right now. If I was, I’d just get naked and all would be forgiven. You have no idea how deeply I care about what you think. Don’t ever get too close to Druthi and Angie, cause then you’ll realise that you’re the only thing I talk about. You thoughts, your opinions, your worldviews, your viewpoints. Nikhil, you’re one of the most wonderful human beings I’ve ever known and I know this because of the way you treat me and the way you’ve lived, with all your little principles all these years. You put me to shame, bae. And I’m supposedly a nice person. I’m the kid that could never make up her mind. Fickle as that phallus of yours. But like that phallus, once I find something I like, I never sit down. I found my motivation. I found my muse. I found that one thing that I know will always push me and make me do better. I found my competitor and my comrade. I found my creative outlet and the tangible outcome of my thoughts. And to be honest, I don’t think I’d ever need anything else, love. Just be mine, forever. And promise me you’ll tell me whatever is on your mind. I once told you that I wanted to see life through your eyes and live in your head, to know you so well and to be with you through every bad dream, ugly thought and wallow in our overthinking together. Because I will always be there to hold you down and hug you so tight that all your shivers subside. I will hold you until the end of our senile lives and after that, if I don’t need medication to find my way to you. I will get on all fours and crawl through the dark and even drink a glass of plain milk just to get to you and then hold down the barf until I know I’m nowhere close to you. I know you’re probably going to disown me but right after I spoke to you last, I looked to Mumford for solace. This was the first song I played. You know why? Cause there’s this line that I’d never thought I’d ever dedicate to someone. I always thought I’d be the one who’d get to hear it, not the one saying it. It goes,

“Stretch out my life, pick the seams out, take what you like, close my ears and eyes, and watch me stumble, over and over.”

But I know now. I know how much you care. And I know that I can trust you. Blindly too. And I know that if ever I’m hurt, it would still all be worth it. That fall, would be worth all the times I got to hold your hand and feel your arms around me, protecting me, steering me around, like you did at Alt-J. I know that whatever might happen, it’d all be worth it. And I think, I’m no longer scared. I used to be. All the time. But EVERY SINGLE TIME, EVERY TIME, you just did something that made me cry. Cry that all this time, I’d lost hope, but here it was, a physical manifestation of my hope, right there in front of me. 5 foot 11, with big nerdy glasses that just make my day. I just said to myself, “You know what? You need someone like you. Who cares about you as much as you’d care about them. Who loves you unconditionally and you can read your mind and give you things without your having to ask for them.” And you’ve given it to. And that’s beautiful enough to dedicate an entire week to us on Berlin Art Parasites. I’m sorry bae. I truly am. I became someone I didn’t like. Someone who once upon a time, I had a similar problem with. You need to keep making sure that I’m put in my place. Occasionally. But always. Cause if not you, who else? Who knows me better than myself? I have my flaws. You do too. We put all cards on the table when we spoke about this. Eventually, we find new things too. But I’d be yours, if you’d be mine.  I love you bae. To Tavrekere and back.

P.S. : listen to the entire song. With lyrics. I realized how much it’s applicable to us. Yes. Confirmation bias. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMJUbZrNnA8

It's like tentacular hug on a frigid night The heady honeyed olfaction calming my balmy fright, A putridly perverse pleasure most certainly is derived, When I hear the mellifluous 'dim-sum' as I drop you from a height.

Oh my darling, darling little child, I have created you from every edible product I find, You are my blood, my flesh, my muse, If I could, I would most certainly put you to some use.

I could smear you upon my enemies' face, I could put you in the compost to grow plants in haste, But sadly I have to watch you rot in waste, Watching that sweet rectangular shape with water laced.

Questions. Aims. Goals. Ambitions. Future. Choices. Decisions. Opportunities. Regret. Detachment.

Who is to decide the right questions to ask? Attach a right before each one of those words above. Question yourself. So what should I choose? A future or the connection I have with people I know? Someone asked me recently if all the things I’m reading and all the things I’m interested in end in me distancing myself from a lot of people in my life.  I regrettably mentioned that it has. She then asked me to stay away from that. To try as much as possible to keep in touch with my past and everyone who made it. Yet, by failing to do such things, by letting go, I’ve come to understand myself better. To understand the world better. To understand other people better. Yet, that, in turn, has led to more confusion. To a convoluted but interconnected web. It’s as though the thumbtacks were always stuck in my head but now I’m finally connecting them with strings of wool. It’s still tangled up and my entire life will be this exasperatingly excruciating process of untangling it. I’m mortally afraid of that. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life gnashing my teeth while mercilessly working my fingers to a bleeding pulp as I prick and poke and attempt to untangle with all tools possible. I want a part of the calm. Most individuals get to that calm through ignorance. That is no longer an option for me.  I don’t think my brain was ever wired for that. Don’t think the pins were placed exactly the same as it was for other people.

To get that sublime balance is barely tangible and elusive for an individual who is always embraced in a swirling storm of emotions. A functioning in chaos has transgressed into my daily being and shows in the sort of work I do. An ebb and flow in productivity, a crescendo and piercing silence. This chaos is the root of my being. But can I use this excuse as a means to run away from a dauntingly prodigious challenge of reaching that long untangled string of calm? Probably not.

The very chaos that helps me function might destroy me. It might destroy me before I accomplish what it is that I’ve set out to do in life. To be remembered. To change lives. Everyday, every single day I meet individuals who term me as ‘interesting’ and ‘out-of-the-ordinary’ and ask me to continue being so. Yet, lesser so-called ‘interesting’ beings are actually DOING things rather than just talking about them. We try so hard to understand things before actually getting involved in them. Maybe I think so much because I’m painfully aware of the paucity of this phenomenon we call ‘time’ and wouldn’t wish to spend (read : waste) any of it doing something I’m sure I would not enjoy. Then again, we talk about experiences. About how experiences shape us. Mould us. So why am I running away from them? WHY?

Sorting out priorities is a phrase that you hear from my maddening lips as an answer to every problem. Yet, I seem only interested in hearing the sound of my voice, but not actually listening and inculcating the same. This brings me back to my first question. What are the right choices? Should one stay ingrained in reality or should one give oneself up to the arts and make beautiful things for the world to reflect upon? Or is it possible to do both? If it is, I must create another map, a very physical and tangible map, a map with thumbtacks and wool and a course that I plan and determine myself. Pins places strategically so that no one can ever again claim “Destiny’s” hand in place of mine. People are important. But sometimes, we have to let go and see if they care enough to cling on and climb back up to hold you still on the rocky deck. Because as much as we wished otherwise, we are much too miniscule to the oceans of the world. But our ripples can change courses and tides. We may dock on lands and we may discover islands. No one remembers how many other ships we travelled with if the ships do nothing but sail around a single iceberg. Stagnant mediocrity with close friends helps no one but that closed off circle. I don’t want a circle. I want a point and a line. A point from which several other lines emerge. To create a beam even. That’s what I’d want. That’s what I have to work for.

As we advent further into progressive stages of civilization, certain legal and political ideals and principles like those based on religious propaganda or community and traditions have been overthrown and replaced by newer, more individualistic principles like that of Liberty and the right to self-determination. It is due to this growing atomistic ideal that more dynamism is being introduced into the Law especially by giving Human Rights the ultimate power to trump other laws. Nevertheless, many disputes have arisen due to the clash between the old morality of the Judeo-Christian Laws and the new morality of the Age of reason and logic and thus, rights of minorities have been sought to be protected from the democratic majority of the nation states. One such highly debated topic that has gained much recognition since the __________________Revolution has been the legality of Gay rights, particularly the repudiation of the repercussions of The Buggery Act, 1837 which stated that any carnal intercourse that is unnatural must be criminalized. The problem is with that of what is considered to be unnatural. Due to Judeo-Christian propaganda, all sexual acts must have the ultimate objective of procreation, failing which, it would be deemed to be unnatural. These very principles were sought to be implemented in colonial India as well which led to the Indian Penal Code, 1860(sec 377). What most Indians are up in arms about is the fact that this sort of an outdated legislation that criminalises penile non vaginal sex, which implies that homosexuals, especially MSM (Men having Sex with Men) are criminals for indulging in such an activity even if it is within the confines of their four walls and is a purely consensual relationship. It is this issue that was sought to be contended in the Delhi High Court Naz Foudnation v. Government of NCT of Delhi and others which was appealed in the Supreme Court in Suresh Kumar Koushal and Anr v. Naz Foundation and Others.

While the Delhi High Court was commended for the sensible stand it took in the protection of sexual minorities, many religious institutions made a big racket of it and claimed that it affects the morality of the public and hurts its sentiments. The dissatisfactory point that had been made was with regards to the interpretation of the word ‘sex’ as sexual orientation, in Art 15 of The Constitution of India which protects against discrimination on the grounds of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth. The High Court’s interpretation was one based on leading Human Rights’ judgments that said sexual orientation was based on is based on stereotypes of conduct on the basis of sex. The Court itself referred to the Human Rights Committee’s decision in Toonen v. Australia, (No.488/1992 CCPR/C/ 50/D/488/1992, March 31, 1994) in which the Tasmanian Criminal Code which criminalised sexual acts between men, was considered a violation of Article 2 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, where a reference to ‘sex’ was taken as including sexual orientation. [1] Hence, sexual orientation was taken as analogous to sex and since Sec 377 seeks to discriminate on this basis, it is unconstitutional and should be struck down. It is what formed a major portion of their arguments and which is why the inclusiveness of the Constitution is a principle that we will seek to discuss. Another pressure point is the classification of natural (read procreative) and unnatural sexual acts and whether such a justification can be held valid or not.

Article 15 is an application to the general right to equality under Article 14. To treat equals equally and unequals, unequally is the principle that has been enshrined in our constitution. Hence, to create a classification, one has to ensure that it is based on an intelligible differentia which distinguishes those that are grouped together from others (i.e., those indulging in unnatural sexual offences) and that differentia must have a rational relation to the object (punishment of unnatural sexual offences) sought to be achieved by the Act.

  Section 377 is vague and seeks to introduce a classification which is not based on rational criteria and the object it seeks to advance is not a legitimate state object. Section 377 violates Article 15 by discriminating on the ground of sexual orientation as although facially neutral it treats homosexual men unequally compared to heterosexuals and imposes an unequal burden on them.

This differentia makes no sense in today’s world as it states that any sort of penile, non-vaginal sex is an offence as well. ‘Sex’ here refers to the ejaculation of the sperm into an orifice which would imply that any sort of oral or anal sex, despite being between consenting adults and within the exercise of their right to privacy, is illegal and criminal. Thus, those lakhs of people who practice such activities are nothing but criminals. This would imply that due to a morphed sense of ‘public morality’, a large percentage of the population live as criminals. Yet, when the matter went for discussion, only homosexuals, in particular MSMs were targeted. There is no rational nexus between the basis of classification and the offence in question because the activities are not playing any part in causing hindrance to the interest of the State.[2]

Besides, sexual orientation of a human being is something that is determined naturally. It depends on certain biological factors like secretion of hormones and the size of certain parts like the medulla oblongata or the corpus callosum.[3] Indeed, the environment also plays a huge role in the determination of the sexual orientation of a person, yet even in an extreme case, one cannot deem homosexuality to be unnatural because what is natural and unnatural should rather be determined by the extent of one’s consent to indulging in such behaviour. 

            Shri Huzefa Ahmadi tried to object to the inclusion of sexual orientation as part of ‘sex’ under art 15 by stating that the constituent assembly makers in the Constituent Assembly debates did not ever even deliberate this and hence, this right can be restricted. To which Fali S Nariman brilliant gave various justifications and interpretations to 377 in the High Court and stated that 377 should be interpreted in the context of its placement in the IPC as criminalizing an act in some way adversely affecting the human body and not an act which is an offence against morals as dealt with in Chapter XIV.

  Section 377 targets the LGBT community by criminalizing a closely held personal characteristic such as sexual orientation. By covering within its ambit, consensual sexual acts by persons within the privacy of their homes, it is repugnant to the right to equality.

  ‘When there is ambiguity or doubt the construction of any clause in the chapter on Fundamental Rights, it is our duty to resolve it in favour of the freedoms so solemnly stressed.’ Section 377 in its interpretation and operation targets LGBT persons and deprives them of their full moral citizenship.

Yet, the Supreme Court stated that the classification that has been made is not arbitrary or can be accused of an irrational classification as all it seeks to do is act as a preventive measure by defining the offence and prescribing a punishment for it which will only be invoked when an FIR has been filed in the police station and can be accorded only once a trial has been conducted in accordance with law. Thus, as has been stated under art 32, Fundamental Rights can be curtailed only when done under due process of law and the procedure established by law. Hence, the High Court’s judgment declaring Sec 377 of the IPC as ultra vires of  Art 14 and 15 was not right. They also support this argument by citing various case laws like K.A. Abbas v. The Union of India (UOI) and Anr [4] A.K. Roy and Ors. v. Union of India and Ors.[5] That justify the importance of defining crimes and the necessity of sometimes using vague expression like ‘harmony between different religious groups' or 'likely to cause disharmony or hatred or ill-will', or 'annoyance to the public’ to create a wide ambit for criminals to be prosecuted against and for the greater interest of the society.

  The invalidity (of the law) arises from the probability of the misuse of the law to the detriment of the individual. If possible, the Court instead of striking down the law may itself draw the line of demarcation where possible but this effort should be sparingly made and only in the clearest of cases.[6]

  Though the Supreme Court managed to find a just explanation for the existence of the law and its continuance, the point to be noted here is that despite the doctrine of Separation of Powers, it is the ultimate duty of the Judiciary to interpret the law and the constitution. Though the Legislature must amend the laws, when it comes to matters of Human Rights and its protection, a popular opinion of the citizens is not necessary in order to uphold basic human rights. When a large section of the society is forced to live as criminals, then it is the duty of the judiciary to interpret the laws in favour of the human rights and not favouring public morality. The law is meant to be above the prevailing social circumstances. The law is meant to guide the society into a progressive and developed civilization. History too, teaches us how many laws that were held to be largely acceptable by the society (polygamy, sati) but due to a better understanding of liberty and equality by a few individuals in power, it was outlawed. Today, it is a part of our daily life and the contrary would be held to be unthinkable. If the Judiciary, which is made up of intelligent and widely read scholars, does not take a stand to bring in an epochal change, the judeo-christian morality that was imposed upon us during the colonial times, which has become so deeply ingrained in our consciousness, will never fade. We can never try to progress to a better and more liberal society due to our reluctance to change.

Using the spread of HIV as an excuse to criminalise homosexuality hald no ground in the courts. It was blatantly obvious that to legalise it would lead to a better control over its spread. The only reason the issue was brought up again in court was due to orthodox religious organisations that could not digest the fact that a person could be emotionally and sexually involved with one from the same sex. Using the mere act of penile non-vaginal sex seems to be an excuse. By being inclusive, the judiciary would have made a huge leap in the protection of homosexuals under Art 15. Yet now, they have to continue to live in fear of public prosecution and mental depression.

The international community has largely accepted homosexuality as well as same-sex marriages. The most progressive countries in the world, like the Netherlands, Finland, Sweden and Belgium have accepted the above. They also have been known for the lowest crime rates and corruption.

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