Coercive control is illegal in the UK and until we have laws in the US stating this, victims will not be taken seriously. I keep reading “why didn’t she just leave?” not understanding that leaving an abusive relationship can be extremely dangerous. Abusers are manipulative and tear you down emotionally. Leaving isn’t easy and isn’t obvious for victims. Victims can confuse controlling behavior for love, because they must care if they’re so controlling. Sometimes they are threatened in other ways if they want to leave. It’s a heartbreaking situation.
Here are some examples of coercive control:
Isolating a person from their friends and family
Depriving them of their basic needs
Monitoring a person via online communication tools or using spyware
Taking control over aspects of their everyday life, such as where they can go, who they can see, what to wear and when they can sleep
Depriving them access to support services, such as specialist support or medical services
Repeatedly putting them down such as telling them they are worthless
Enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or dehumanise the victim
Forcing the victim to take part in criminal activity such as shoplifting, neglect or abuse of children to encourage self-blame and prevent disclosure to authorities
Financial abuse including control of finances, such as only allowing a person a punitive allowance
Control ability to go to school or place of study
Taking wages, benefits or allowances
Threats to reveal or publish private information (e.g. threatening to ‘out’ someone)
Threats to hurt or physically harming a family pet
Criminal damage (such as destruction of household goods)
Preventing a person from having access to transport or from working
Preventing a person from being able to attend school, college or University
Disclosure of sexual orientation
Disclosure of HIV status or other medical condition without consent
Limiting access to family, friends and finances
If you are experiencing coercive control in a relationship please seek help. You’re not to blame. It’s not love and you deserve better. ❤️❤️❤️
ellievsbear
