hi.

but wanted to write

A NOTE: you’re not your eating disorder. you’re not any of your mental health problems. yes, you should accept it as a part of your tough period of life, but it still doesn’t define you at all. i know that it’s extremely hard but you’re doing great. keep fighting. we should beat its ass. remember that there’s someone out there who believes in you and is proud of every step you make, even the tiniest one.

i know you’re tired too. i know you’re exhausted. but it’ll finally be better, i promise.

much love,

hello guys

i really want to be back here so much 🥀

i feel that i need to write down at least some of my thoughts. i need some support as well but i know i can’t count on that cause all of you have your own problems (btw i’m here for you, you’re not alone).

my depression/ anxiety & eating disorders unfortunately worsened. i’m going through a very hard and painful period right now though i’m still taking my meds and seeing my therapist. she told me that the only chance left to save me is to go into the hospital. the idea itself scares me a lot, cause the place where i live at the moment has really frightening hospitals for people with mental illnesses. though sometimes i feel so terrible that this idea doesn’t seem so bad. when nothing helps and the situation gets worse every day you consider every possibility to help yourself.

ok yesterday there weren’t any binges,

today hopefully will be the same thing.

i consider it a success, cause i actually wasn’t doing well lately as you might have noticed already.

i still wanna be super thin but also try the recovery thing.

simply can’t exist like this anymore, it’s such a wrong way to live.

today is a good day to start changing.

i believe in every human being here.

have to try to believe in myself as well.

love y’all.

1. body like in my worst period

2. skin like in my almost the worst period

3. mental disorders not like in my worst period, but still pretty rough though // but i’m finally on the pill again, that’s why i’m not thinking of killing myself every second of my life haha (pretending that it’s kinda funny, but i guess i’m rather lame at it).

also me [30 min. later]: crying in my bedroom cause of all the beautiful people’s grins in my direction