Delusional Aeon Posting @theeldritchcomedy - Tumblr Blog

I use the internet for two things

Bitching about my life and bullying new-age warhammer collectors who use their whole chest to ask if they need to spend another $300 to make their army meta competitive despite having never played a game

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The multiverse theory says that the universe where everyone is a pirate, and the one where mice are pets and cats are vermin, they're all happening at the same time. There's clowns juggling flaming chainsaws in the same room as you right now but you're vibrating on different frequencies and thus cannot harmonise and experience each other

The universe where you are happy and living the life you always wanted does exists. You just need to adjust your frequency

It's time stopped casually blaspheming

I'm Not Like Other NLOGs

If we look at ourselves as parts in a system, and we assert that the purpose of a system is what it does, we can observe that a media company commissioned 3 seasons of "Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon" anticipating that I, an unemployed person, would have the free time to watch it while also consuming "ChainSmokerCat" and "Rent-A-Girlfriend", and was financially rewarded for it's gambit

Thus my purpose as a lower class person within the Imperial Core in The Year of Our Lord 2026 is to consume "Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon" and post about it on the internet and argue with strangers

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Hey yeah I'm just checking to see if a light brown handbag was handed in

What was in it

A wallet, a script for dexamphetamine, and a thc vape pen

...

Yeah idk why I'm even trying either

If there's one thing I can't fucking stand it's New Money

This is unrelated to my family being New Poor. Completely unrelated

I enjoyed a 650ml beer on the train and I understand why people tell me "You drink spirits too fast"

This is a nice level of bevved. This is an enjoyable level of bev. Bev has no desire to fight God and thus is less likely to invoke her wrath

Buying a beer at Dan Murphy's. Guy at the counter asks to "see some ID". I point blank tell him "Nah I've not got ID but I am 31" and he rings me up

The man was just doing his job Lauren, it's got nothing to do with cis people's infatuation with seeing your government name

#trans #trans woman

Today my grandmother told me "You don't understand this because you don't have kids but your mother would give her life for you Lauren. You know that she would give her life for you don't you? Lauren say that you know she would giver her life for you. We both would" and she wouldn't lower her voice until I said, quote, "I know that you and Lisa would give your lives for me"

In the same conversation she told me that my "welcome is running thin" because I've been on her couch for 3 days and I need to understand that maybe I can't hold out for the perfect rental. Dying for someone is one thing. Sharing the same oxygen a them is another thing entirely

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People: Go to the ER. Seek help. FUCK ME JUST SEEK HELP TALK TO A DOCTOOOOOR

ER workers: So you've voluntarily come here and used resources that would have gone to people who ACTUALLY need it? WOW you're subhuman and I will ensure you know that before you leave

*plithily quips at the wind*

Nursing a glass of wine while I browse memes at my Grandmother's kitchen table, as she sits in her computer room browsing "funny emails" The Zagg to our Zigg is my mother who think's facebook stopped children from developing depth perception and that's why people don't merge on the highway properly. Mazel Tov

You wake up and just want to be drunk and throw yourself into the loving embrace of a moshpit, fists and all

Then remember that you're not 21, tomorrow exists, and you're just not that person anymore

Plastic Sinatra tryhard, shoulda cried harder, shoulda tried harder

The housemates dog is scratching at the door with its full body. This is because if you let it outside it will sit at the fence and bark all day. Dogs are great

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maidthings

no one is worth not transitioning over

What if I'm not meant for intellectual pursuits. What this life is not meant for achievement and glory as I've known it. What if brilliance is not what defines this life. What if I've already lived the life that brings me to the front with the torch in hand. What if I have this life so as to teach others how to hold the torch. What if the glory meant for me is known only to those who feel no need to proclaim it

What if I love the winter because she is autumns best friend?

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