not a frequent user of social media. obsessively addicted to about four fandoms. ships rare or unfavoured pairings. oh, and suffers horribly from Writer's Disease. not hereditary, and completely incurable.
come chat with me about writing, dogs, cats, fandoms, baking, or...[static crackles]. I'm friendly and sarcastic ๐
(Also! I take fic requests...there's a link for my guidelines post in my intro)
okay, first of all, heya, and i'm "thedogbard" or "N". I'm socially awkward irl, someone who pretends to be an introvert to disguise my loneliness, and someone who is really good at random living-life shit and not so good at anything specific (like maths) (ugh).
i originally made a tumblr account to promote my fanfic magnum opus. so here it is:
But firstly I'd like to specify that I do NOT support JKR. I have owned the books for years, and before I got tumblr, in Sep 2025, I didn't actually know what she was doing. Almost all of the fanfic I've written was before that. Writing fanfic does not give the franchise profit, but it might give the author or reader a bit of happiness. Anyway, I'm trying not to write anything else for the HP/FB fandoms now, and I'm steering well clear of the HP show. I don't judge you if you're an HP fan as long as you don't support JKR, so please extend me the same courtesy.
December 1993. Newt Scamander appears in Hogwarts, clutching a battered suitcase, claiming to have just been duelling Grindelwald alongside Dumbledore - whoโs now aged by sixty years.
Lord Voldemort is on the rise. Dementors surround the school. A Muggleborn Slytherin witch is fighting to find a place in the Wizarding World.
And, well, Newtโs just sort of there.
Fully completed: a Newt Scamander x original female character story, spanning the events of the HP books. Posted weekly on ao3, quotev, fanfic.net, and wattpad.
I'm an incurable writer. Original stuff, fanfics, all kinds of sh*t. I also love reading, dogs, animals in general, baking, walking, and laughing at the random stuff my brain comes up with. I also have controversial ships. Live and let live, please.
Fandoms I'm in or love: Skulduggery Pleasant, Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, Lockwood & Co, Dr Strange (movies), Sherlock BBC (also ACD Sherlock, Mary Russell series, and Elementary), Day of the Jackal, The Aeronauts, Little Women...and possibly more? I've read all the Riordan books...
Individual books I love (and their fandoms): Jane Eyre, Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Villette, Shirley, (or anything by the Brontes), Emily's Ghost, The Blue Castle, Knights of the Borrowed Dark trilogy, The Lost World and The Poison Belt, I Capture The Castle, Little Women, and many more I can't think of right now. Little-kid-me demands that I also add A Little Princess and Coral Island to this list...
Music I love: Roxette, Taylor Swift, Adele, Emeli Sande, Enya, Dua Lipa, and some other select songs, like Money Run Low by The Score.
Songs I can't stop listening to that might well be a part of my DNA by now: Haunted, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, Listen To Your Heart, Anywhere Is, Getaway Car (my no.1 spotify wrapped this year, and i'm not ashamed), I Knew You Were Trouble, The Look, This Love, Wonderland, There's Nothing Holding Me Back, Blow Your Mind, The Wind and a bunch more. If you're a Swiftie, DM me your favourites. Let's agree and argue and have fun!
I am so emotionally mature for my age that I've been told I have the soul of a pensioner. It was a compliment and I'm taking it as such.
In one country I am tall, decent-looking, and socially funny. In another I'm average-heighted, average-looking, and averagely-funny. Which is weird for my esteem and opinion of myself. Whatever.
I'm not a very ambitious person. My great dream in life is to be an author. I'm also funny, weirdly knowledgeable about niche things, and addicted to chocolate. (It's becoming a problem).
Send me asks or interact! I'll send asks or interact in return - or random asks whenever I'm bored. I love meeting new people. Whoever, whatever you are, just so long as you're not a...Think of all the worst kinds of people. If you're not one of 'em, then hang out with me.
@the-archivist-system is my beloved adopted sibling and one of my best friends ๐พ They're the only one who gets to call me Logios, because of this post!!โจ๏ธ
Thank you to @dramatic1nlyf for this amazing moodboard!!!!
(right at the bottom, in uncertain small print...): if you want you can request a fic. Here's my "guideline" post.
Oh and I'm adding these posts here so I can never lose them because OHMYGOSH
AFJAFSGHHDAF THANK YOU @skeletal-spire-man-aka-overfit this literally made my YEAR
okay wait - @catastrophiccblues I'm also saving this here because it's too good to ever lose โจ๏ธ
And lastly, here are song lyrics from songs that have stuck to me like glue, arranged to tell a vaguely coherent story.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
Youโve got the words to change a nation but youโre biting your tongue
Something keeps me holding on to nothing
Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows?
And you know itโs never simple, never easy
Wasnโt it beautiful, running wild till you fell asleep?
Iโm only one, but not alone, my finest day is yet unknown
You go there, you're gone forever, I go there, I'll lose my way
God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be
I attend Christmas parties from outside
Itโs all fun and games til somebody loses their mind
Thereโs no comfort in the truth, pain is all that youโll find
I held that grudge till it tore me apart
Itโs the first time, the last time, we ever met
It's no surprise I turned you in, 'cause us traitors never win
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes
And now theyโve broken you like theyโve broken me, but a shattered glass is a lot more sharp
And if Iโm on fire, youโll be made of ashes too
I pass it and lose track of what Iโm saying, cause thatโs where I was when I lost it all
Always learning everything the hard way
Some say illusions are her game
Donโt you worry folks, we took out all her teeth
And nobody comes to save you now, but you got something they don't
When the violence causes silence, we must be mistaken
I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
When youโre young, you just run, but you come back to what you need
So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?
You donโt need to save me, but would you run away with me?
Cause for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world
"Don't you see the starlight, starlight? Don't you dream impossible things?"
Climbed right back up the cliff, long story short I survived
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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catching a glimpse of your computer screen when the sunlight hits it: oh ok, i must be a spittle machine. I must be slobbering globs of spit everywhere in a 90 degree arc at all times. and rubbing my greasy paws on the screen without knowing it. i must be some sort of disgusting beast.
really humiliating trying to write horror like they went into the creepy house and there was a creepy ghost and the creepy guy with a creepy knife and everything was very creepy are you scared yet and thats like literally not how suspense and tension actually work but like all u can do is say well maybe something else was creepy?
post so bad tumblr offers 5 delete buttons and no post button
[id: screenshot of broken tumblr queue footer ui with one reorder button, 5 delete buttons, one edit, and one unreadable button where post button should be./end id]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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โฎ The smell arrives before anything visual does.ย Always before.ย Decades-old antiseptic that never fully evaporated, black mold, particulate plaster, and something underneath all of that you will not name. Your character detects it from the parking lot. Do not skip this. Writers skip this constantly. Smell is 70% of fear. If your character walks in and immediately describes what they SEE, you have already lost the reader's stomach. Fix it.
โฎ Long hospital corridors are acoustic funnels. A door swinging on a corroded hinge forty feet away sounds, physiologically and neurologically, like it is directly behind your character.ย It is not.ย But they don't know that yet. And more importantly: they can't immediately tell the difference.
โฎ Original floor tiles: white hexagons, many cracked, grout gone grey-black with decades of something. Footsteps echo differently on intact vs. cracked tile. Your character will begin unconsciously stepping around the cracked ones without deciding to.ย Write it as unconscious.ย Don't give them the decision.The body knows things the mind hasn't processed.
โฎ Nurses' stations have the room call-board still mounted. Metal slots, room numbers, some still containing names on yellowed paper in faded handwriting. Perfectly legible.ย Your character should read one name specifically.ย A real first and last name. This is what grounds supernatural dread in human scale. The horror of a ghost is always the horror of the specific person who became one.
โฎ Do not have your character open a patient file and find something horrifying written in it. That is lazy and everyone does it. The horror in the file is that it is completely routine: a 54-year-old man admitted for a hip replacement in 1987, three pages of unremarkable medical notes in a nurse's tidy handwriting, then nothing. No discharge date. No transfer.ย Just nothing.ย The nothing is the story. Let the reader ask the question. Don't answer it.
โฎ Operating theaters are always on upper floors. The surgical table is still there. They never take the table. In real abandoned hospitals, across multiple countries, documented cases:ย they always leave the table.ย Your character should wonder why no one took the table. Do not have a character explain why no one took the table. Some questions should stay questions.
โฎ The morgue is in the basement. This is always true. The drawer handles are still there. Your character's hand will move toward one of them.ย Write this as involuntary.ย The hand goes first. The decision to stop, or not stop, comes second. We don't choose our curiosity; we choose whether to follow it.
โฎ The drawers are not all empty. Not because of anything supernatural. Because animals nest in sheltered spaces in abandoned buildings, and a heavy insulated metal drawer that latches shut is extremely sheltered. Your character knows this.ย They do not think of this until after they've opened one.
Responding to widespread proliferation of the technology in Americansโ daily lives, doctors at Johns Hopkins University warned Thursday that air fryers should not be considered an adequate substitute for human companionship.ย โAn air fryer can be a powerful and reliable tool, but itโs no replacement for genuine interactions with other human beings,โ said psychiatrist Lisa McDougan, explaining that while the small appliances were useful for many things, such as reheating leftovers and cooking frozen foods, they were simply not built to provide those who use them with lasting and meaningful social bonds.ย
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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