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So I work at Red Wrath in customer service and today I had the classic woman who can’t text but wants to send texts so she speaks all of her texts into her phone for everyone to hear. Every time I get one of these I just want to scream “just call them!!!” but I don’t because I’m a Customer Service Girl™ and all that. Instead I just smile politely and wait for them.

Anyway so she brings in this Amazon Echo that’s been taken out of the box and used and the box is pretty busted. She says she doesn’t really like it and it doesn’t work with her phone (which ??? she had like a Galaxy 6 I’m pretty sure she just didn’t know how to use it) and wants to return it. I ask for the receipt and she gives me a gift receipt.

At this point I remember a comment my store manager made about not wanting to take back Echos that have been opened and used (because we can’t sell them at full price if they’re opened, but Amazon forbids us from discounting them) so I tell her I’m gonna need to call a manager for confirmation. She just says “okay” and while I’m on my walkie asking my manager if it’s okay to return she pulls out her phone and starts speaking into her phone: “they’re trying to give me a hard time because it’s open!” I just kind of frown and by the time she hits send my manager gives me the okay to return it.

So I go through the process of pulling up the receipt and typing in the UPC (because the one on the box was ripped off), and tell her that I’m going to give her $151.54 in store credit. She gets really upset for two reasons: why isn’t it $180? Also, why can’t I have cash? I explain that during the holidays the Echos were on sale for $40 off, and that when we return with gift receipts we give store credit to prevent fraud. So she whips out her phone and says: “now they’re trying to give me store credit! What the fuck!” and sends it to whoever.

She takes the Echo and says she’s going to try to get the original receipt. About half an hour later she comes back into the store and says she’s going to have her brother send her a copy of the receipt. I call my manager again to make sure I can accept a photo copy and she (you guessed it) takes out her phone and says “now they won’t take a photo copy!!” But this time before she’s done talking my manager says yes so I just look at her as she stares back at me and puts her phone away. She stays quiet as she walks away and ten minutes later she comes back and has the photo copy that’s been texted to her. I ask her to have her brother text her that he’s okay with the return being done in cash rather than go back to his card. This time she doesn’t bitch, just asks him for permission and he texts back that it’s okay. I do the return and give her the cash and she leaves.

As she goes though, she takes out her phone and says “finally leaving the fucking store!”

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