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It had never been easy for Mel to make friends.

She had always been naturally shy with little quirks that drew mostly negative attention. Growing up, her social awkwardness made it hard for her to relate to her peers. She didn’t like going out much and loud spaces made her anxious, so she missed out on many of the social functions that her peers attended— football games, school dances, house parties.

Then once her dad died right before she started school at Pitt, and her mother died shortly after, her responsibilities began to stack up. In addition to school, she had to work multiple jobs to support herself and Becca. Any possibility of making friends in college was pretty much thrown out of the window.

When she started at the PTMC, Mel realized that she actually didn’t know how to make friends. There had always just been something that kept her from connecting with the people around her. That’s why she became so attached to Frank.

Frank was the first person to be kind to her when she started working at PTMC. Being around him was easy and she didn’t feel like she had to perform for him like she did with others. He liked her awkwardness and her quirks and he let her talk as much as she wanted. She was so happy to have a friend to listen to her when she met him.

When Frank asked her to hang out outside of work, she was so excited. Frank suggested dinner and a movie, and Mel was just happy that she finally had someone to do things with her. After talking to Trinity, however, she came to the realization that she had been tricked into going on a date. Which led to her asking Frank, which then led to Frank confessing he had romantic feelings for her.

Mel wasn’t sure how she felt about Frank liking her in that way. She wasn’t really someone who attracted romantic attention, at least none that she knew of. Through all of their interactions, she never ever thought that Frank could be harboring those kinds of feelings for her. But she knew how horrible unrequited feelings were in friendships, and she really didn’t want to lose him. And he was conventionally attractive… and nice to her.

So, that’s how she ended up being his girlfriend.

And then his fiancée.

She liked having Frank. She did. But sometimes, she wonder what she would be doing if she wasn’t so attached to him. She especially thought about it when she saw Trinity, Dennis, Victoria, Joy, and now you headed out for drinks after work on Fridays.

You had integrated into the PTMC miraculously well. Maybe it was because you had Samira to cushion your fall, but Mel was in awe of how you had become close friends with everyone so fast. Jealousy wasn’t an emotion she really felt ever but she did find it equally impressive and annoying how you easily glided into social interactions.

You appeared out of nowhere practically. And you were unfiltered, and you said things about how you hated working, and you never wore the proper scrubs, and you yelled at Robby.

And everyone loved you for it.

Your presence was confusing and fascinating to her all at once. She wanted to get to know you more after you guys worked on the DVT case together but the momentum she thought you guys had built up had plateaued.

She saw you come into work every morning with an iced matcha in hand. Your hair was usually in some elaborate style— plaits in the shape of a star that flowed into pigtails or an ornate bun with clips in it. Every morning, you glided into the PTMC with your face buried in your phone, Samira by your side chirping away. Then you greeted everyone before heading to the locker room to drop your things off.

You were nice to her, of course. But you and Trinity had more in common so you guys formed a friendship very fast. Mel was somewhat disappointed that you guys hadn’t become the friends you said you’d be on your first day.

Most of the things she learned about you came from Trinity and her own observation of you, but her interactions with you had been brief. She figured from the national parks stickers on your water bottle that you must like hiking. She also learned from Trinity that you lived abroad for most of the past eight years. Trinity also mentioned you having a hopeless and amusing crush on McKay. And Mel may have looked you up online which led her to find out that you went to Bryn Mawr and you liked history and you had done a research project on the epidemiology of eating disorders in Latin American countries.

You seemed so cool! Mel wished she could just get herself to talk to you for more than two seconds. But just like always, she couldn’t quite figure out how to connect.

Mel and Frank were planning to visit his parents out west later in the month, so to make up the hours, Mel decided to do a double-shift at the end of the week. They had agreed to do Friday morning and night together, but at the last minute, Frank chose to switch his to be earlier in the week. So, there she was, watching everyone — including her fiance— clock out while she prepared for the creatures of the night to emerge.

Trinity and Dennis came out of the locker room to see Mel with a pitiful expression on her face. She looked at them as she rested her chin in her hand, and Trinity cooed at her.

“Aw,” She messed up the top of Mel’s hair with her knuckles, “Poor little Mel-anoma stuck here all night.”

“You know I hate when you do that.” Mel swatted her hand a way as her face reddened.

Dennis rolled his eyes at Trinity and then turned his attention to Mel, “Do you want us to bring you anything? Coffee maybe?”

Mel shook her head, “No, that’s alright. I’ll just make coffee in the break room if I really start feeling it.” She smiled weakly.

You and Samira came up to them suddenly, setting down a chart and looking at the group. “Why the long faces?” Samira asked. “We’re free!”

Mel’s eyes found you and she took note of your jean jacket with red buttons, enjoying the contrast of warm and cool color. Your gaze suddenly landed on her and she looked away quickly in hopes that maybe you didn’t see her staring.

“Mel’s pulling a double.” Dennis answered.

You looked at Mel and she nodded in confirmation. “Oh man, I’m sorry.” Samira said sincerely. “And on a Friday? What form of masochism is this?”

“Well, Frank and I are visiting his parents this month so I have to take time off.” She explained to Samira but her eyes kept finding you.

Trinity sucked in a sharp breath and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, and where is he right now?” Trinity crossed her arms. “Oh, right! He ditched you without even telling you!”

Mel’s face heated up and she began to regret telling Trinity about Frank ducking out of his extra shift with her. You tuned into the conversation suddenly and furrowed your brows.

“You guys were supposed to stay together?” You asked.

Every time you spoke to her, the words caught in her throat. It was like she wasn’t expecting you to speak to her, so when you did she was so surprised that she had to pause and think about what to say.

Mel nodded, “I- I mean, it wasn’t really set in stone.” She lied as she scratched her head. “And he gets tired at the end of the week, so I probably should have anticipated… And we really could have picked a different day, but I just- well, Becca spends her Friday with Adam now so I thought it was best if we worked tonight so I could spend time with her on Saturday.” She explained.

“She’s leaving out the part about her finding out he ditched her as he was clocking out!” Trinity added.

Dennis let out a huff, “Would you stop? We all know you just hate Langdon.” He spoke honestly.

As the two of them started to bicker as usual, Mel looked up at you from where she sat and you were looking at her already. Her immediate instinct was to look away because she usually hated such direct eye contact— even with Frank. But your eyes were soft and inviting and playful, and she didn’t feel the need to look away.

You pointed at the two of them with a melodramatic expression as if to say “get a load of these two.” Mel shrugged and then a light laugh found its way to her.

Samira finally stepped in and stopped Trinity and Dennis’ bickering. “Can you two quit it? Jesus, this is a hospital, not a daycare. Plus, if we don’t leave right now we are definitely not getting a table for karaoke.” Samira whined.

Mel perked up and if she had a tail it would have started to wag. “You guys are doing karaoke?” She asked pitifully.

“Yeah, and you could be going with us if you weren’t stuck here like a grounded teenager on a Friday night.” Trinity teased.

Mel looked down at her fingers and felt a heavy sinking in her chest like she always did when you guys talked about your after-work hangouts. “Well, even if I was free, you guys didn’t say anything to me about going.” She said solemnly.

“Oh come on, don’t be sad, Mel.” Trinity leaned over the nurse’s station. “You never want to go when we ask, so we just assumed that you don’t like going out.”

It was true. Mel had declined all of their previous invitations. Not necessarily because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t most of the time. She was either with Frank or with Becca or both of them. Sometimes she was so tired after work that she wanted nothing but to crash on her bed immediately. And the idea of being in a claustrophobic, dimly-lit bar listening to loud music didn’t sound exactly like what she wanted to do after a long shift.

But for some reason, there was still that profound feeling of loneliness she got when she wasn’t invited places. It confused her so much because she didn’t want to include herself, but it would have been nice to have someone who invited her no matter how many times she said no.

Mel had made the moment awkward with her sensitivity— something that happened pretty often. Everyone was silent as the awkwardly looked around themselves and Mel focused on her hands in her lap.

“Um, I could stay if you want.” Your voice came through delicately.

Mel looked up quickly and then immediately felt insecure about looking too excited. Trinity groaned and Samira looked at you like you were crazy.

“Yeah, I mean,” You shrugged, “I’ll stay with you.” You began setting your stuff down.

“No. Uh-uh. You promised we would do Red Wine Supernova tonight!” Trinity protested.

You threw your hands up, “Well, take this as an opportunity to get a cute girl to sing it with you.” You suggested.

“Dude, you are a cute girl who was supposed to sing it with me.” She whined and you shrugged at her, not relenting.

Mel felt a nervous feeling settle in her stomach as you came to sit next to her. You sat quite close and she instinctively scooted away. You guys looked at each other for a moment and you gave her a bright-eyed smile, to which she awkwardly hummed and looked away.

Samira leaned in closer and whispered, “Is McKay on shift tonight or something? Is that why you want to stay?” She half-joked, referencing your unserious crush on the older doctor.

“Oh my god, stop.” You warned her.

“Well, I’m just asking!” Samira defended. “You can’t wait to get out of this place everyday and now you’re staying overnight?”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not staying because of McKay and I told you I don’t actually have a crush on her.” You defended yourself.

Mel spoke up finally, “You don’t have to stay. Really, I’ll be fine and I don’t want you to miss out on Chappell Roan.” She insisted sweetly.

“See, she says she’s fine! Now, let’s get out of here!” Trinity begged.

You turned to face Mel and she flinched away from your knee touching hers. Then practically as soon as she got her knee away from yours, you placed a hand on her shoulder which startled her.

“Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fun! And you’ll be saving me from Dennis’ high notes.” You giggled as you leaned closer to Mel and she backed away nervously.

Dennis held his hand to his heart and looked at you with fake betrayal. “Excuse me? You mean you don’t want to be serenaded by my dulcet tones all night?” He asked sarcastically and then he held his hand in the air and let out a screeching high note.

“Oh god, my ears! They’re bleeding!” You jokingly held your hands over your ears.

Trinity covered Dennis’ mouth with her hand, “Alright, enough.” She snapped.

Samira sighed in surrender. “Okay, fine, if you want to stay then I don’t care. Just don’t wake me up when you get in tomorrow morning.” She pointed her finger sternly at you.

You leaned forward and clasped your hands around her finger and hand, pulling yourself closer to her. “I promise to be quiet as a mouse.” You said as you placed a playful kiss on her cheek.

Trinity and Dennis were already making their way towards the door, but Samira looked between you and Mel one last time. Then Trinity yelled for her to hurry up and she began to back away, telling you to be good and to not scare Mel. Once they were gone, Mel felt her nerves heighten even more. Now it was just the two of you. There was no one to cushion your interactions and the ER wasn’t even busy enough to distract you guys from each other.

Mel looked directly in front of her, careful to not look anywhere in your direction for fear that she might burst into flames if she did. But you turned her chair around to face you and she was met with your playful grin. She nodded nervously and forced a smile to her face.

“Hi,” you said simply.

Mel blinked away all the thoughts clouding her mind, “Hello.” She responded meekly.

You sat back quickly and then stood up even quicker, taking Mel by surprise. She realized that you were someone who’s next move couldn’t be predicted and that unsettled her slightly.

“Man, this place is dead. I thought they said the freaks come out at night?” You tried joking with Mel but she looked at you blankly, still too nervous to say anything.

Your expression tightened for a moment in a way she wasn’t able to read, but you quickly softened again. “I don’t know about you but I am starving. You wanna come grab a sandwich with me?” You asked her.

“Oh, the cafeteria is closed.” Mel said even though it was obvious that it was afterhours. “And the food makes my stomach hurt.” She looked down as if that fact made her sad.

You laughed at her again, “I know the cafeteria is closed, Silly. There’s a deli down the street that has this huge, amazing prosciutto and arugula sub, and I’m gonna need one to get through the night… maybe even two!” You held your hands up to demonstrate the size of the sub you were describing.

“I don’t think we’re allowed to leave during shift.” Mel whispered as if she was afraid of getting caught.

“Well,” You leaned onto the counter, “They can’t expect us to do our jobs if we’re starving. Plus, I never took my break and I don’t remember seeing you take one either.”

“We don’t really have set breaks around here— although, maybe we’re supposed to? Someone should probably talk to HR about that because we really should have…” She trailed off when she realized how much she was talking.

You sighed, “Okay well, I lived in Switzerland for a year and therefore, I believe in work-life balance. And how I’m choosing to balance my work with my life is by chowing down on some baby arugula right now.” Then you scrunched your face and groaned. “Wow, and I am becoming one of those people who never shuts up about living abroad.”

Mel shook her head in reluctance, “I don’t know… Abbot is kind of strict.”

“Oh,” You scoffed, “You mean Samira’s Abbot? Please, that man is softer than a baby’s butt. I bet we could even get him to give us money for our subs!”

Did nothing phase you? Mel was beginning to think so. There were no rules to you, no boundaries you couldn’t cross. Your confidence was both concerning and inspiring to Mel.

You tapped the counter twice and then motioned for her to follow you. Mel watched you walk towards the exit but she didn’t move from her spot. Today your hair was in a half-up, half-down style with two braids swinging from the back of your head. Mel was practically hypnotized by the swinging motion of your hair when you stopped at the door and turned back to look at her.

“Aren’t you coming?” You asked her.

Mel snapped out of her trance as you waited for her to get up. She practically jumped up when you continued to walk out of the sliding doors. “Yeah! Coming!”

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You and Mel were in and out of the deli shop in fifteen minutes. Things still hadn’t picked up in the ER so you guys decided to decompress in the stairwell per Mel’s request. So there you both sat, eating your sandwiches in silence.

Mel examined you closely while also trying not to look too much. She didn’t know why she felt so shy about looking at you, she just knew that she got a tickly feeling in her chest at the thought of you seeing her looking so intensely. After a few minutes of just sitting and looking at you, she figured she should at least try to talk to you.

“Um, so you said that you lived in Switzerland?” She asked and you nodded. “How’d that happen?” She continued but then realized her tone was a bit off. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out like it did. I meant like what led to you living abroad?” She rephrased.

“It’s okay you don’t have to apologize.” You reassured her. “Remember when I told you about all of my little journeys to find myself? Well one of those journeys was in Switzerland.” You explained.

Mel hummed, “What did you do there?”

“Everything.“ You reminisced. “I just needed a break after I finished my research and I hate being in the US for too long, so I left… again. I hit up a friend from Bryn Mawr who was living in Switzerland and she let me crash there. I shadowed this doctor while I was there and tutored a bit for money, but I mostly just rested while I was there.”

“Oh, so it wasn’t like a study abroad thing?” Mel asked.

You shook your head in response, “No, although, I did study abroad in Nepal and—”

“Peru.” You both said together.

You raised your eyebrow at Mel with a smirk, and she felt the blood in her veins run cold.

“How did you know that?” Your tone was high-pitched.

Mel panicked and searched for an answer, “Oh, Trinity mentioned it.” She lied as she looked away awkwardly.

She was sure to not mention how she had learned all about your study abroad from your social media….

“Enough about me! What about you? Did you study abroad? Where’d you grow up?” You rapid-fired your line of questioning.

Mel sat up and adjusted herself nervously, “No, I didn’t get to study abroad. I went to Pitt and got a generous scholarship to go to St. Andrew’s for a year, but I was still figuring out things with my parents’ passing and trying to take care of Becca. It just didn’t work out, but it’s okay!” She said positively.

“I’m sorry, Mel.” You said genuinely. “Have you at least gotten to visit Scotland to make up for it?” You asked.

She shook her head, “Sadly, no… But its definitely on my list for Frank and I’s honeymoon. I’d really like to go out of the country since I’ve never been.” She said.

Your eyes widened and turned sharply, knees touching hers again like they had earlier. Your hands went to her shoulders and you gripped them hard. It seemed that you had a habit of invading personal space that you didn’t seem to notice. It made Mel feel a bit on-edge because whenever you touched her it was like she’d been electrocuted, and she never knew when you were going to touch her.

“You’ve never been out of the country? Like not even to Canada?” You asked and she shook her head no. “Sorry, I don’t mean to make it seem like there’s something wrong with never having been out of the country.” You added.

“It’s okay! I haven’t been yet but I’d really like to one day. I really want to see the Scottish Highlands once in my lifetime.” Mel smiled to herself as she imagined the rolling green hills and crisp, misty air. “Have you ever been?”

“I have not! But you’re right, they’re really beautiful. We should go!” You suggested.

Mel smiled shyly, “You don’t mean that.” She said.

“Sure I do! Why not?” You asked as if it was a given that you did genuinely mean your words.

“I don’t know… I don’t really get out much, you probably would want to go with someone more outgoing.” She shrugged somberly.

You smirked at her and lightly rolled your eyes, “Mel, friends go on trips together. That’s actually literally what friends are for! Come on, you’ve never been on a little road trip with your girlfriends before?” You poked her shoulder and she flinched but said nothing. “Or, like, haven’t you and Frank ever gone on a trip together?” You asked.

Mel shook her head, “Frank and I have only been to visit his parents in Harrisburg. And I’ve only ever been a road trip once with my parents and Becca a really long time ago. Although, I don’t have fond memories of that trip—”

“Okay so that means you have to go on a road trip with friends so that you can replace the bad memories with the good ones!” You said cheerily.

Mel spoke as if she was talking to herself, “Honestly, even if I could go I don’t really have any friends to do that kind of stuff with…” Her tone was weak.

“What do you mean? You’ve got Trinity and Dennis!” You paused for a moment in thought. “And you have me.” You added with a shrug of your shoulders.

“I don’t know, I don’t think Trinity or Dennis really see me as a friend. Not one that they would hang out with outside of work at least. They never invite me out anymore… Which I know is partly because I always say no, but I don’t know why it still bothers me.” Mel said a little too honestly.

You looked at her with a sympathetic expression. It looked like you kept going to say something but you stopped yourself short of doing so. Then you finally let out a sigh and let your voice come through softly.

“I know I said that friendship is all about going on adventures and stuff together… But part of it is also respecting your friends’ boundaries.” You said gently. “Maybe Trinity and Dennis think not inviting you is a way of respecting the boundary you set previously?” You suggested.

“Can I ask,” You started again, “Why do you say no if you want to be included?” You questioned but with a tone that was more curious than judgmental.

Mel let out an exasperated sigh, “I don’t know.” She said.

“Yeah, you do.” You dragged out with a knowing look.

Her brows pressed together in thought and she looked down at her lap. “I… I don’t know if it’s that I want to be included. Maybe, but I think I say no because I’m too scared that once I am— included, I mean— that I won’t know what to do or how to act.”

Mel sunk into her place on the steps and nodded. “I know… I know, it’s silly of me really.” She rationalized to herself. “I shouldn’t be upset when they’re doing it because of my own actions. But— I don’t know— I kind of just want to be invited anyway… Like I want to be—”

“You want to be considered… You want to be a thought.” You were the one to speak for her this time and she looked at you with stirred eyes. You nodded and scooted closer to her. “I get it.”

Mel scanned your expression for dismissal or annoyance— the same emotions that she saw in Frank’s expression when she voiced her feelings to him. The look that said “I really don’t care” or “this is silly.” But all she saw on your face was understanding. She felt something settle in her at the sincerity of your expression.

“I think them respecting your boundaries is good, but you’re also totally valid for feeling the way you do.” You took another bite of your sandwich. “You guys just have to find a balance. They have to figure out different ways of pulling you in, and maybe once in a while you can jump out of the fishbowl and into the pond!”

Jump out of the fishbowl and into the pond.

Mel wasn’t exactly sure what you meant by that, but her best guess was that it meant she needed to get out of her shell every once in a while. She liked that saying— a lot, in fact. It described how she had felt her whole life. Observing the world around her from all sides, but with an amorphous, invisible barrier that kept her from participating in it.

Mel blinked slowly at you. You and your perfectly done hair. You and your dangling jewelry that would have overstimulated her to wear. You and your red-button jean jacket that you still had on over your scrubs. You and your warm, resolute expression.

“I never talk about this to anyone.” She said in almost a whisper. “I don’t know why I’m talking about it with you.”

You let out a small chuckle. “I do have that effect on people.” You winked.

Mel mentally cringed at how that wink made her feel. It was like she wanted to dance and shrink in on herself at the same time. Euphoric and equally dreadful was how she felt whenever you winked at her.

Your eyes stayed on her for a second longer than normal, wide and perceptive. Your lips had curled into a thoughtful smile. Mel relaxed finally, feeling calmed by the serenity of your presence. She really didn’t like that you had managed to get her to say so much. Not because she didn’t appreciate having someone listen to her, but because she wasn’t sure what about you made her comfortable to say those things— and what about you made her feel like she was actually being heard.

Abbot opened the door to the stairwell suddenly and you both jumped. Mel moved away from you quickly with an awkward smile and you cleared your throat.

“What the hell is this? Book club?” Abbot teased you guys.

You jumped to your feet energetically and Mel mimicked your motion. You lightly pushed Abbot’s shoulder as you passed him and he over-dramatically stumbled backwards.

“Go run your ER.” You said sharply and Mel was, yet again, shocked by your brashness towards your superiors.

As Abbot retorted something equally snippy, Mel followed behind you both, silently disappointed that your time together had been cut short. She tried to get past Abbot to at least thank you, but he was walking so fast in front of her and you guys had already slipped into a playful banter— the moment had passed.

Mel just hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time you guys had such an encounter.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

okayyyyy chapter 2!!! mel and reader are getting closer yayyyyyyy!!!

also, everyone is free to imagine reader however they want but i will say in my head she is a woc… so do with that info what you will!

also taglist will happen, SO if you would like to be added please let me know! i will definitely need people to hold me accountable for finishing this story because i have the habit of dnf-ing my work lol

so excited for next chapter!!! eeee!!

did someone say… DINNER PARTY??

You had known Samira Mohan since you were both children.

Her family lived across the river in New Jersey while yours lived in New York, and your families had been friends for a long time so you grew up with her. She was a bit older than you and was, annoyingly, always the first to do things. First to graduate, first to get into medical school, and now she was the first to become a full doctor. You, on the other hand, were only at the beginning of your career and on the cusp of your intern year.

Your journey through med school had been… tumultuous to say the least.

After partying and drinking through your undergrad at Bryn Mawr, you were put on academic probation for almost flunking out and were forced to take at least one semester off. You decided to take a full year to study abroad in Nepal, and then you took an extra gap semester to travel around the country writing blog posts for a medical journal your parents had ties to. Then you went back to Bryn Mawr to finish the last two years of your bachelor’s and immediately went back abroad to do sponsored research in Peru for a year. When that was over, you spent about 6 months traveling through the US and Europe, doing more partying and drinking and having the best sex of your life before you finally started medical school at UPenn. After four years at Penn, you moved to Switzerland where you did nothing but read about medicine, go to local coffee shops, and seduce beautiful Swiss women.

But your parents had had enough. They made you come home and told you they refused to keep funding your little journeys of self-discovery. It was time for you to settle down and start taking your medical career seriously— “like Samira”.

Your parents had put up with a lot from you. They had, in fact, bankrolled your entire study abroad and paid for your living expenses while you were there. They had paid for your therapy and several rounds of ED recovery since you were a teenager. You felt like the least you could in return was to finish becoming a doctor.

So, after a good word from Samira to the chief attending, you found yourself at the PTMC as a 29-year-old intern.

You moved in with Samira two weeks before you started at the PTMC because you wanted to acquaint yourself with Pittsburgh. You had your own room that connected to Samira’s through a “Jack and Jill” style bathroom. Your rooms were polar opposite of each other. Samira’s room had eggshell-colored walls with framed abstract paintings and succulent plants on her windowsill and desk. Your walls were burgundy with multicolored drapes hanging from every part of your ceiling and books stacked on the floor going up to the window. Where her room was pristine, yours was eclectic. Where she had a furry white rug, you had mismatched persian rugs that covered your entire floor.

Samira had been trying her best to get you out into the city, trying to reassure you that there was a life worth living in Pittsburgh. But Samira was understandably very busy with her fellowship and she didn’t have as much time as she would have liked to help you acclimate to the city. Although you’d visited Pittsburgh a couple times while you were at Penn and Bryn Mawr, that had been with friends and only for a few days. Now that you lived there you were having trouble adapting.

You hadn’t made any new friends and none of your college friends lived in the area. Pittsburgh was a lot slower than New York and things shut down earlier (and you had no friends to go with to the places that stayed open late). You also noticed that the population skewed older. And worst of all? You hadn’t met any gay people yet.

So maybe you and Pittsburgh weren’t an immediate match. But you had spent twelve days hiking the Himalayas and had reached the peak of Aconcagua— Pittsburgh was just another mountain you had to summit.

You woke up late and on the wrong side of bed. In fact, the only reason you woke up at all was because Samira woke you when she came in from her double shift. When you looked at your clock it was way past the time you need to be up.

6:30. It read

“Oh fuck.” You shot out of bed.

“Don’t you have an alarm?” Samira teased.

“I thought that I set it! I very much remember setting it for 5::30 actually.” You groaned as you rushed to grab a pair of scrubs.

You tore through your closet looking for the black scrubs Samira told you were a part of the uniform. Of course you couldn’t find them so instead you landed on a pair of bright turquoise scrubs that hurt your eyes to look at.

“You can’t wear those. Unless you want to be the running joke of the day…” Samira snickered.

You sighed as you messily threw on your scrubs, “Well I don’t exactly have a choice.” You said. “I’ll just grab a new pair at the hospital when I get a chance.

Samira shook her head, amused by the situation. She decided to at least help you and pack your bag up to save some time. Then she gently placed it on your bed signaling that it was ready for you.

You looked into the mirror and saw that your hair was actually not as bad as you expected it to look. Sure, it wasn’t the perfectly curled, half-up-half-down, Kate Middleton look you had planned for the day. But at least it looked brushed and shiny?

You shook your thoughts away and flipped your hair into a more relaxed side part to give it volume. Then you grabbed a claw clip, knowing you’d want to pull it up later.

“Okay, uh, what bus was it again?” You asked.

“Just go to the stop that’s right outside and get on whichever bus is soonest. And make sure you’re on one going downtown.” She emphasized and you nodded.

“Fuck, okay. Um, I don’t look like I rolled out of bed too much… right?” You feigned a smile.

Samira looked you over and then playfully rolled her eyes. “You better go or Robby’s gonna put you in triage all day.” She turned you around and began pushing you towards the door.

“What if I kill someone on my first day?” You asked.

“You won’t.”

“What if I faint like you said that one girl did?”

“You won’t.” Samira whined.

“What if no one likes me?” You turned to face her.

She sighed out your name and gripped your shoulders. “You are one of the most interesting, dynamic, intelligent, cool people I’ve ever met. Everyone is gonna love you. Just be yourself, okay?” She reassured you.

You let out a deep breath, “Okay.” You nodded.

“Now go! So I can get some sleep.” She opened the door and pushed out of it.

What should have been a fifteen minute bus ride ended up being a thirty minute ride. The bus was super late and, of course, stopped for five minutes for seemingly no reason at all. But you finally made it into work at 7:10 which wasn’t great but not terrible.

When you got to the PTMC, you saw a tall man with a greying beard speaking to a huddle of people at the nurses station. You didn’t even go to the locker room to put your things away, you just quietly tried to slip into the group of people. However, the tall man’s eyes caught you almost immediately and you felt your blood run cold at his questioning gaze. He paused for a moment and looked you up and down in an offended way.

“I’m sorry, can we help you?” He asked.

You froze as you felt everyone’s heads turn to you. You made eye contact with a few of the people around you— a short girl with a slick-back ponytail, an older woman with bangs, a small woman with a septum and glasses. You stuttered out for a second before an awkward smile took over your face and you looked at the man again.

“I’m so sorry, I meant to get here sooner but my bus had some trouble and um-” You started but the man interrupted you.

“Oh, you’re here to clock in?” He laughed sarcastically and you felt yourself shrink a bit. “Well thank you for deciding to grace us with your presence, but in the future promptness is appreciated.” He said and you nodded.

His eyes lingered on your bright-colored scrubs for a moment and then he looked at your hair, which was still not pulled up. You could feel him silently judging your appearance and you wanted to hide like a small child.

He must be Dr. Robby. You thought, matching the description Samira had given you to the man in front of you.

Dr. Robby continued with his line of instruction and you stood there trying to not feel demoralized. When he was done, he dismissed everyone except for the interns and junior residents, and you all gathered closer around him. You took a moment to examine the group around you. The woman with the septum and the short girl were still there and now you were joined by who you decided to name Mousy and Grumpy respectively.

Mousy and Grumpy were R2s and seemed to be well-acquainted with each other. Grumpy had tattoos and wore rings and she had a stern expression on her face. Mousy, on the other hand, looked meek and unsure of himself but he had nicely coifed hair and seemed kind.

You all went around and introduced yourselves and you learned their names and what phase they were in. Slick-back pony was named Victoria and she was an MS4, septum piercing was named Joy and she was an intern like you, Grumpy was named Trinity and she was an R2, and Mousy was named Dennis and he was an R2.

Robby put Trinity and Dennis on their own cases and then assigned Victoria to his caseload. Joy was going to be with someone named Mckay, and you…

“You, Miss Un-fashionably late,” Robby addressed you, “You’re out in triage.” He barely even looked at you.

Of course you hadn’t been expecting to be on a crazy case for your first day, but you at least were hoping to learn something new and cool. Now you were stuck on triage all because you were ten minutes late to your very first shift.

Asshole. You thought to yourself.

Robby dismissed all of you and everyone dispersed. Trinity bumped your shoulder as she passed and you thought it was an accident until she chuckled and said “nice scrubs.”

You looked around the bustling PTMC and took in the sight of everything happening around you. Then you sighed, already feeling a bit defeated.

This was going to be a long day.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You were on your tenth person complaining of stomach pain after hours of ordering bloodwork, taking vital signs, and pulling objects out of kids in places they didn’t belong. At this point, you hoped one of these upset stomachs turned out to be an aortic aneurysm.

It was just you and the nurses with no A/C and a buzzing, weak fan in triage… for hours… and hours…. and hours.

Reception handed you another chart for a patient complaining of leg pain and you refrained from rolling your eyes as you went out into the lobby. You looked at the name on the chart which read Daniela and then you waited as they called the patient to triage.

A young girl and who you assumed was her mother walked towards you and you smiled at them, introducing yourself. “Just follow me back here and we’ll get you taken care of.” You led them to the back.

You read over the chart and saw that Daniela was seventeen and realized that the young girl was the patient. “And just to confirm, you’re Daniela, correct?” You asked and the girl said yes. “And you must be mom?” You asked the woman with her and she also nodded as you all sat down.

You set down Daniela’s chart and rested your elbow on the edge of the bed as you began taking notes. “Okay, tell me what brings you in today.”

Daniela looked at her mom, who nodded for her to go ahead. Then she looked back to you, “Well, I don’t really know. My leg just really really hurts for some reason? At first it was just a bit of pain, but then it started swelling and feeling hot… We thought maybe I pulled a muscle at soccer practice or something, so we iced it and elevated it, but that didn’t work. Then we tried to massage it which also didn’t work… It just hurts for no reason.” She explained.

You hummed a response. “And when did the pain start?”

“A few days ago maybe a week? I woke up one morning and it hurt really bad.” Daniela answered and you nodded.

“Okay,” You started, “Are you able to tell me where the pain is in your leg and what the pain feels like?”

“I can’t figure out exactly where it’s coming from, it feels like it’s all over,” Daniela shook her head, “I don’t know how to describe it… Maybe a cramp? Like muscle pain but deeper? I don’t know, I’m sorry.” She apologized.

“No, you’re so fine!” You reassured. “Pain in general can be hard to describe especially when you can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from.” You smiled. “And you said it’s just in this one leg?” You pointed to her right leg.

“Yes, my other leg feels fine.” She confirmed.

Daniela’s mother spoke up finally, “Tell her what you told me.” She insisted to Daniela and you raised your brows in curiosity.

Daniela sighed, “Mom…” She warned but her mother waved her off and began to speak.

“She’s been saying that she feels lightheaded sometimes.” Her mother said to you and then turned back to Daniela. “You haven’t been to practice in days because you can barely walk.”

You nodded in recognition as you mentally mapped out every cause of leg pain and came up with a differential. But this leg pain was not as straightforward as you thought it would be.

“Okay, um, I’m gonna take a look at your leg, Daniela.” You smiled warmly. “Do you mind rolling up your pant leg for me?”

Daniela began rolling up her pant leg and you took note of how she winced when she moved her leg. As soon as she revealed her leg, you had to hold back a gasp. Her entire leg below the knee was discolored and swollen. Your eyes widened for a moment and you regained your composure quickly, smiling a confident smile at her and her mom.

You examined her leg thoroughly. “I’m going to put a bit of pressure on different parts of your leg and I want you to tell me your pain level from 1-10 as I work, okay?” You instructed and Daniela nodded.

You pressed on her leg starting from her toes and working your way up. Daniela called out numbers as you pressed. She swayed between a level 5 to 7 on pain until you reached her calf. Then she was gasping in pain and pulling her leg away.

“Ten! Ten! Ow! Ow!” She yelped and you tore your hands away from her leg.

“Yikes, okay… Did it hurt more at the front or back of your leg?” You asked.

“Back!” She exclaimed.

You nodded, “Hm.” You thought aloud. “And you said you didn’t injure it at all? You’re sure you didn’t pull a muscle?” You continued to investigate.

“It hurts more than that! Way more!” She insisted.

You acknowledged her concern and certainty that it wasn’t just a pulled muscle. It didn’t seem like a simple pull, that was for sure. It could have been a very deep tear but you were concerned with how swollen and discolored her leg was, plus her pain wasn’t characteristic of a tear. You hadn’t had much experience with DVT’s but you knew that swelling, warmth, and discoloration were tell-tale signs. But she was so young. The chances of DVT were slim but it wouldn’t hurt to order a D-dimer to rule out every possibility.

“Okay, I agree that the pain in your leg is definitely strange and not simply a pulled muscle. I have a few ideas of what could be going on, but I’m gonna see if anyone is available for a second opinion.” You began to explain. “For now, I’m gonna get you some imaging for that leg to see if you tore the muscle, okay?” You rested your hand on top of hers to comfort her and she nodded.

“Hang tight, I’ll be right back.” You smiled and then exited the room.

You figured that there was no reason to worry them just yet about a potential DVT. You’d rule out (or in) a muscle tear first and then you’d investigate DVT. But you did want to find Robby or a senior resident to get a second opinion.

Once you ordered the imaging, you took Daniela’s chart and headed to the back. You looked around the room and immediately saw that Robby was in the middle of a trauma. The woman with the bangs from earlier passed by and you tried to get her attention.

“Oh, um, excuse me!” You followed her and she barely turned to look back at you. “Doctor…” You tried to come up with a name for her.

“McKay.” She corrected you as she paused.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at you with a raised brow. You froze for a moment and stared at her.

Okay, damn. You thought to yourself.

McKay had a tired confidence about her that made her quite attractive. The way she towered over you with her chain dangling from her neck... You almost forgot where you were for a second, but you remembered quickly when she snapped her fingers at you.

“Doctor McKay, um, would you be able to take a look at a triage case for me really quickly?” You asked in a small voice.

“Sorry, I’ve got a nasty spider bite in two that needs immediate attention.” She shrugged you off.

You sighed in defeat as she left you standing there, disappointed that you couldn't prolong the interaction with the very hot, older doctor. Then you began looking for another senior resident. But everyone seemed to be tied up, even the R2s.

Finally, you approached the nurse’s station where you saw an older lady with platinum blonde hair. She was laughing with two other nurses as she snacked on a fiber bar and you almost felt bad interrupting their banter. Before you could speak, the blonde lady saw you lingering around and she smirked.

“Don’t be shy, we don’t bite.” She waved you over.

You smiled, “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met yet.” You said then introduced yourself.

“Oh,” She dragged out and wrapped her arm around you and presented you to the other two nurses, “Samira’s friend from New York.” She said and they all nodded.

You forced a smile, trying not to be annoyed at the fact that you were automatically attached to Samira. It was expected considering that she was the one who got you the job, so you didn't know why it bothered you so much.

“Well, sweetheart, welcome to The Pitt. I’m Nurse Dana and these two knuckleheads are Princess and Perla.” Dana introduced the three of them. “What can we do for you? You’re looking a little lost.” She chuckled.

“I was just looking for a senior resident for a second opinion out in triage, but I can’t find anyone.” You explained.

“Yeah, everyone’s been pretty tied up back here.” Dana sighed out.

Princess perked up and spoke, “I think Doctor King actually just went on break for a few minutes and might be free for a consult.” She suggested.

Dana clapped, “There you go, you got your consult right there! Break room is right over there.” She pointed across the room.

You patted her shoulder and looked between her and the other two women. “Thanks ladies.” You smiled and then rushed away.

This shift was finally starting to pick up, thank god.

You went to the break room and opened it, expecting to see someone inside. But your face fell when you realized no one was there. You groaned as you left the break room and began searching around for this Doctor King who was seemingly nowhere to be found. When you couldn’t find Doctor King, you began paging for him but they went unanswered.

You were beginning to get aggravated. How could someone be so unreachable and unfindable? If this was some joke to send the "new girl" on a wild goose chase, then it wasn't funny. You were at your wit's end and you didn't have time to be the butt of a joke. And when you found Doctor King, you were going to rip him a new one-- that was for certain.

You spotted Victoria doing her charts and approached her, “Hey, have you seen Doctor King?” You asked.

Victoria briefly looked up from her charts and pointed in the direction of the stairwell. Your eyes followed where she pointed, then you thanked her and went on your way. You marched towards the stairwell then swung the door open, ready to go in on Dr. King.

When you opened the door, you saw a young woman with a long, tight braid and glasses sitting on the stairwell. She startled at the sound of the door opening and you recoiled slightly as well. You weren’t startled, just shocked to find who you found. You had been expecting a man for whatever reason, but the blonde, doe-eyed girl in front of you was definitely not a man by any stretch.

Both of you paused and took each other in for a second. She looked like she’d been caught doing something and you felt like you walked in on a private moment. Then you remembered what you had sought her out for and found your sternness again.

“Doctor King?” You asked harshly.

She didn’t speak, just blinked at you silently. Her eyes peered into you and you almost felt exposed. You snapped your fingers as if trying to bring her out of a trance. “Doctor King?”

She seemed to come to the second time you said her name. “What?” She asked in a dazed tone.

You rolled your eyes, “Doctor King? That's you, right?” You asked impatiently.

“Yeah, uh, I’m Doctor King— that’s… that’s me.” She stuttered over her words as she stood up.

You narrowed your eyes in examination of her, finding her demeanor slightly strange. “Okay well, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I need your opinion on a case out in triage if you’re available.”

Dr. King twiddled with her fingers, “Oh, I’ve got a pretty heavy caseload already and I need to get back.” She shook her head.

You looked her up and down, eyes glancing over her badge. “You don’t look that busy to me. You’re just sitting here.” You sassed.

“Uh-” She started but you cut her off.

“It’ll only take a few minutes.” You insisted.

She looked at you with wide eyes, words trying to come up but failing. Even though she was the senior resident, you seemed to be the one leading the situation. You were growing more impatient with each second that she stared in disbelief.

Finally you turned and shook your head, beckoning her to come with you. “Let’s go.” You said, trusting that she would follow and she did.

You led her back to triage where Daniela and her mother were. She shuffled behind you as you took long strides that she struggled to keep up with.

“Seventeen year old female, complaining of unilateral cramping pain in leg. Pain worsens with pressure and the patient has had trouble walking as a result. Presents with visible swelling and discoloration with warm skin to the touch in her calf along with the pain. No recent history of injury and no improvement with home remedy.” You presented the case.

Doctor King responded, “Okay, what’s your differential?” She questioned.

“Her pain sounds worse than a pulled muscle, so I don’t think that’s the cause. It could be a tear although the pain isn’t typical of a muscle tear. I ordered imaging just to be certain, but I really don’t think that’s what’s causing it.” You explained as you walked in front of her.

“What’s your other potential diagnosis?”

You stopped and Doctor King nearly ran into you. Then you turned to look at her. “Pain, swelling, discoloration, and warmth? I don’t have a ton of experience with it but could it possibly be DVT?” You asked.

Doctor King furrowed her brows and shook her head, “The patient is seventeen years old, that would be extremely unlikely.” She partially dismissed.

“I know but all of her symptoms are indicative of potential DVT.” You began to explain. “Blood clots are becoming more common in young women especially, you know? If she had a recent viral infection or she’s taking birth control she could be at higher risk for them.”

Doctor King chewed on her lip as she looked off in deep thought. Then she grabbed the chart from you to take a look for herself. “Okay, what would you suggest to rule this in or out?”

“If imaging comes back with no tear then I’d suggest a D-dimer to check for elevated protein levels and then an ultrasound of the leg to be certain.” You answered.

Doctor King nodded with an unconvinced expression, “Alright, yeah, I guess. Although I really don't think it's a blood clot." She reassured you.

"Okay, well, I'll give you ten dollars if you're right and I'm wrong. But just trust me." You rolled your eyes, and then you began walking towards Daniela's curtain.

Doctor King followed after you again, and when you stopped in front of the curtain, she almost ran directly into you. You turned to look back at her with a judging gaze before you opened the curtain to reveal Daniela and her mother.

Daniela and her mom acknowledged you with a smile as you and Doctor King stepped inside. "Daniela, this is Doctor King. She's gonna take another look at your leg and ask you some questions. Is that okay?" You asked gently, a stark contrast from the tone you had been using just moments ago with Doctor King.

"Whatever gets us closer to making this pain go away." Daniela groaned.

Doctor King came around the other side of the bed and warmly smiled at the young girl. "Hi Daniela, can you tell me a bit more about your pain?" She asked.

As Daniela explained again to Doctor King, you paused for a moment and let yourself fully examine the other doctor. Her hair was pulled in a braid so tight that it looked like a factory setting that could not be restyled. She was a mousy blonde with streaks of bright gold ever-so-slightly visible. Her medium-frame glasses sat on the bridge of her nose, partially concealing her hazel-brown eyes and stopping just below her dark eyebrows. She was freckled, but not like a ginger. More like someone who had spent a childhood in the outdoors. Her face was quite expressive, reacting with each word Daniela spoke. And she also seemed to run slightly anxious as she was always messing with something on her person -- fingers, loose threads, jewelry.

Once Daniela was done talking, Doctor King looked to you for a moment as if she was the one seeking your guidance and approval for the case. For a senior resident, she seemed very unsure of herself and not at all like some of the other cocky doctors you'd already met.

"Well, it's good that Doctor..." She looked at you again and you realized she didn't know your name. You quickly gave her your name and she repeated it quickly to Daniela. "It's good that she ordered imaging to see if you have a tear. Your pain isn't really characteristic of muscle tear but sometimes deeper tears can feel different." She explained.

You nodded as she spoke and, as if on cue, Jessie came in with the imaging results. You brightened and thanked him as you took the folder from him. You signaled to Doctor King that you were going to step out and then gave Daniela a reassuring smile. You stepped out and opened the folder, letting your eyes scan over the results.

Findings:

-Musculoskeletal architecture intact, no discrete muscle fiber discontinuity, intact myofascial planes, no high-grade tendon disruption identified. Achilles tendon intact.

-Normal bone marrow signal intensity throughout the tibia and fibula. No acute fracture or bone marrow edema is seen.

-Significant, diffuse T2/STIR hyperintensity throughout the deep and superficial posterior. Reticular subcutaneous edema noted throughout lower extremity. No fluid collection, no abscess, no soft tissue mass identifiable.

-Distinct loss of normal flow void within the vein. Vessel appears distended an intraluminal filling defect demonstrating intermediate T1/T2 signal intensity, consistent with thrombus.

Impression:

-No evidence of acute musculotendinous tear.

-Findings highly suggestive of deep vein thrombosis (DVT) within the vein.

Your face scrunched in victory for a second before you caught yourself celebrating the misfortune of this young girl. But you knew you had been right! As horrible as it was that you were right, you still were, in fact, right.

You went back inside and came next to Doctor King, handing her the results. Doctor King took the folder from you with a tight-lipped smile. You watched as she looked them over, waiting for your moment of glory. Doctor King looked up at you with worry before composing herself and faking a calm expression to Daniela.

"Everything okay?" Daniela's mother asked.

Doctor King nodded calmly, "There's no tear, which is good news. However, radiology picked up a few things in your scan that we'll need to bring you back to observation for." She explained as she clasped her hands together.

"Am I okay?" Daniela asked.

Doctor King looked at you, and you widened your eyes as if to say "tell her."

"Um, you are stable right now, but..." Doctor King tried to explain, but she seemed to be struggling to speak.

You stepped in finally and took over. "You are okay right now, but we need to bring you back to make sure that you remain okay and stable." You emphasized to Daniela. "There were some abnormalities in your blood flow that were noted by radiology as consistent with a condition called Deep Vein Thrombosis." You told her candidly.

Daniela went pale, "What? What is that?"

You sat next to her on the bed, pushing past Doctor King. Then you took Daniela's hand and squeezed it. "It means that there is a blood clot in one of the veins in your leg that is restricting blood flow to the rest of your body."

Daniela began to panic, but you held her hand tightly and kept explaining. "I know that sounds scary, but you're in the best place you can possibly be in. We're going to run more tests to confirm the diagnosis and get started on treatment, and you should improve over the next few days. Okay?" You reassured her.

Her eyes shifted from panic to trust and she nodded. "Just don't let me die, okay?" She pleaded.

"And be forever-known as the intern who killed someone their first day?" You joked with her and she smiled. "Don't worry, alright? You're gonna be fine."

Daniela's mother looked to Doctor King for reassurance as well. It was fair to want the senior resident to chime in, especially since you were an intern. You also turned to Doctor King with the first genuine smile you'd offered her, and she nodded brightly.

"Yes," She started, "You're gonna be fine. Thankfully, you were in the hands of a good doctor who knew what to look for." She continued, making eye contact with you as she said it.

You gently tapped Daniela's hand, and then you and Doctor King dismissed yourselves.

Later when you and Doctor King were updating Daniela's chart, you also went over Daniela's full medical history.

"Family history of vascular issues and prescription for Junel Fe since she was fourteen," Doctor King noted, "Wow, you were spot on." She commended you reluctantly.

"I know." You said simply.

Doctor King gave you a resigned smile that went unnoticed by you, as you were too busy typing. You finally paused your typing and looked at her with a sarcastic expression, perplexed by how she stared at you so brazenly. "Yes?" You asked.

"Sorry," She looked away, "I was just- that was a very good catch, and I was thinking about how you said it was your first day. You said you're an intern?" She asked and you nodded. "That- yeah, that was- um... that was good work." She stuttered.

You looked at her and she had a hopeful and genuine glint in her eyes that made you soften. It was clear that she was trying hard to melt the ice around you and you felt yourself warm to her. Who were you trying to fool with this fake icy act? You weren't icy... You hated being icy!

So you relented and shrugged, "You would have caught it too."

She nodded at you and silently continued to watch you chart for a few moments. Then you looked up from the computer to acknowledge her again. She sat up straight and looked away awkwardly.

"Was there anything else you needed, Doctor King?" You asked with a light chuckle.

"Oh, um, no." She shook her head and you slowly nodded. "Also, you can call me Mel, by the way- if you want. Everyone calls me Mel. Mel, like short for Melissa. Melissa is my full name, but no one really calls me-"

You cut her off with a laugh before she could continue to ramble. "Mel, okay, got it." You affirmed.

She leaned on her elbows and looked at you with interest, "Do you have a first name?" She asked honestly before you saw her visibly realize how silly that question and you continued to giggle. "Sorry, that was a dumb question. Of course you have a first name! Everyone does! I meant to ask what your name is... Yeah, that's what I meant."

You were smiling so hard that your dimples deepened and you told her your name to which she nodded. A moment passed before she asked you another question and then she spoke again.

"I'm sorry if this is rude to ask, but how old are you?" She asked.

You pretended to be offended and hold your hand over your chest. When you saw genuine worry wash over her face you gave up the act. "Was that rude of me? I'm sorry, I just- um... You seem, and I mean this in a good way, very mature for an intern. I was just wondering..."

"Its okay. I'm turning 29 in a few months, so you would be correct that I am kind of old for an intern." You reassured. "I took like a hundred gap years when I was in school to 'see the world' and 'find myself', so here we are." You summed up your life.

Before Mel could respond, Robby approached you both. "Hey, what are you doing back here? I thought I put you in triage." He snapped at you.

"I'm updating a case from triage. Seventeen year old girl with DVT." You looked up at him.

"Alright, pass the case over to Doctor King and head back to triage." He commanded you. When you opened your mouth to protest he cut you off, "Don't give me a hard time."

Mel spoke up then, "Actually, she was the one who caught the DVT-"

"Go back to triage." He warned you again and began to walk away, not allowing Mel to finish.

You clenched your jaw and let out an annoyed breath. Four years at Bryn Mawr had depleted your patience levels for men. You didn't care if you were an intern, if you were going to work here then he would treat you with a basic level of respect.

You stood up harshly, surprising Mel. "Dr. Robby," you called sternly. He turned on his heel with an annoyed expression. "I think that I'd prefer to stay with my patient. We've established a rapport and I would like to see the case through... Sir."

Mel looked between you and Robby, and you felt gazes from some of the other interns and residents as well. Robby gave you a once-over and smirked as if he thought your display was amusing. You felt yourself begin to regret your decision as he looked at you. For what felt like forever, you stood there and waited for him to reprimand or fire you or both. But he tilted his head in surrender and sighed, "I don't give a shit." He waved you off and walked away.

You let go of a breath that you didn't know you'd been holding, then you sat back down and began typing again. Mel stared in disbelief as Trinity approached you both.

"Wow," Trinity started, "How do you stand to walk with those huge balls of yours swinging between your legs?" She joked and you rolled your eyes.

Trinity gave Mel a pat on the head and went back to her patient. Mel stayed with you while you finished your chart, making suggestions here and there as you went along. In that time, the D-dimer you ordered for Daniela came back positive and the ultrasound results came back confirming the presence of a blood clot.

"Okay, wow. That is a huge clot." You gasped and Mel nodded in agreement. "Should we admit her just to be safe?" You asked.

"Probably, but I don't see a bed opening upstairs anytime soon. Let's start treating her with clot busters now. Hopefully a bed will be available soon and they can start her on blood thinners up there." Mel instructed and you immediately did as she asked.

Once everything was ordered and the chart fully updated, you and Mel went to Daniela's room to explain what was going on.

"We're going to put you on thrombolytics to break up the clot in your leg, and then they'll treat you with blood thinners upstairs." Mel said gently.

"How did this happen?" Daniela's mom asked. "What seventeen year old gets a blood clot?"

You and Mel looked between each other and she nodded for you to speak. You cleared your throat, "We can't be certain right now but there are many factors that could put you at risk even though its rare. Birth control and family history of blood clots are two risk factors, but if you've had a recent infection or surgery that could also increase your chances." You explained.

You could tell that your answer provided Daniela very little comfort, so you continued. "But it's a good thing you listened to your body and came in to get checked out. We'll write you a prescription for blood thinners and a referral to see a hematologist who will be able to investigate more." You smiled softly and Daniela nodded.

Mel gave you a thumbs up and an approving smile before she spoke again. "Okay, we'll check on you in a little bit. Let us know if you need anything else." She dismissed you both.

Mel guided you out of the room, her hand ghosting over the small of your back. You looked at her with a smirk that surprised even yourself and made Mel look away shyly. Once you guys were out of the room, you both joined Trinity and Dennis at the nurse’s station to finish charting. It was almost the end of shift and you wanted to clock out on time.

“I actually have never wanted to flee a building more.” You said to yourself. “And this is only day one.”

Trinity scoffed, “Please, this shift is a cakewalk compared to our first day here.” She gestured between herself, Mel, and Dennis.

“Two words: Pitt. Fest.” Dennis nodded in confirmation.

“That’s one word, dummy.” Trinity threw a ball of paper at him and they proceeded to argue about if it was two words or one.

As Trinity and Dennis bickered, Mel looked at you with a sigh and you shrugged with a smile. “Sorry, your first day was tough.” Mel said.

You shook your head, “Eh, it actually wasn’t that terrible. I’m just being a baby about being on triage all day.” You admitted. “Just remind me to literally never be late for work like ever again.”

“Well, you did a great job today.” Mel offered. “You may have saved that girl’s life and you stood up to Robby… and on your first day!”

You appreciated her positive attitude. It was a stark contrast to everyone else surrounding you, who were either disgruntled or concerningly apathetic.

“Thanks,” You smiled at her and she nodded.

It was finally time to clock out and you and Mel both practically flew to the locker room. As you packed up your things, a silence fell over you both but you glanced at her every few seconds while she looked around the room— off in her own world. Guilt washed over you as you remembered your initial coldness towards her.

“Listen, I’m sorry if we kind of started off the wrong foot earlier.” You apologized. “I didn’t mean to be, well, mean.” You lightened your words with a light chuckle.

“Oh, it’s okay. It can be pretty intense around here, so I get it. And I know that my energy can be... a lot sometimes. I didn't mean to ask you too many questions or be invasive earlier when I asked how old you were. Sometimes I just do this thing where I try to overcompensate when I feel like someone might not like me..." She began to ramble.

Mel continued to over-explain herself for a bit before she realized that she was doing exactly the thing she was describing. She was talking way too much. When she finally looked up, she expected you to be gone or zoned out, but you weren't. You were listening to every word without interrupting her or leaving in the middle of her sentence. She was so taken aback that she visibly pulled back from you and you raised your eyebrows at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble too much." Mel apologized again.

You let out a full belly laugh, and she looked at you with confusion. "Wait, I don't mean to laugh at you. I just-- it's okay, we're cool. You don't have to explain yourself and you don't talk too much." You reassured her with a cheeky expression as you stood up.

Her brows pressed together in a firm line, "Sorry-"

"Oh god," You sighed, "Look, if we're going to be friends, you have got to stop apologizing so much." You lightly commanded as you headed towards the door.

Mel quickly grabbed her things and closed her locker, trailing behind you. You took your hair down from it's clip and fluffed your hair out as she followed you. Mel came up behind you a little too close and you felt your hair lightly whip her face. Then she stepped back and readjusted her glasses once you guys paused in front of the elevator.

"We're friends?" She asked in a hopeful tone, eyes glistening at you.

You felt stripped by her gaze yet again. She was so clearly eager to hear your answer and it made your heart swell with endearment towards her. If there was one thing you'd learned in the few hours you'd known Doctor King, it was that she had a disarming effect. Like a puppy in doggy kennel or a baby penguin or some other small, cute animal.

"Sure we are." You said honestly and winked at her.

Mel turned bright red and looked down at her feet. She went to speak again, but your conversation was interrupted suddenly when a dark-haired man came next to Mel.

Mel startled slightly when he put his arm around her, looking up at him. "Oh, hi." She said in a chipper tone.

"Hey, you ready?" He leaned down and placed a kiss on top of her head.

Woah. You thought. Wait a second.

You smiled as you hid your surprise and watched as they talked to each other. You took a moment to examine him, noting his almost scarily blue eyes and perfectly-coifed hair. Then Mel looked at you again and introduced you to him. When he held his hand out for you to shake, you paused and then reluctantly took it.

"I'm Frank," He started, "Mel's fiancé."

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

okayyyy first chapter yayy!! i know this one was a little slower to begin with but trust lesbianism will activate soon!!!!!

mel is also totally crushing on reader already but doesn't realize it lol

i’m thinking of making next chapter from mel’s pov is that something we’re down for?

should i make a taglist? also let me know if this formatted correctly please!

Her mother was, well for one, not her biological mother. She didn’t know either of her biological parents. She had been left on the steps of the Sanctum when she was a baby. Before she could even recognize who her real mother and father were, with no note or any sign of who left her there. Even if she wanted to find out who and where her parents were, she wouldn’t have known where to begin. So, she had been raised by none only than The Ancient One and Wong.

She was fine though, completely fine... So fine that she had studied and worked herself right to a top-tier education at New York University. Even though she wasn’t living on campus... or declared a major in her junior year... or made any friends... Lucy was fine.

But back to her book...

In high school, she didn’t respect any of her peers. Their interests seemed so minuscule compared to all that she had been exposed to being raised in such an unorthodox environment. And as hard as she tried, she couldn’t respect it, their investment in who so and so was dating and what this person said about that person. She just couldn’t.

It was to the point that she only respected two people in her life, AKA The Ancient One, and Wong.

As she continued reading, taking notes for comprehension, she heard the sound of a portal opening. She looked to her left and saw the familiar golden ring forming, figuring it was probably her mom or Wong maybe. But she soon realized she was wrong as she heard painfully familiar large steps coming towards her.

Strange. She thought to herself.

Lucy rolled her eyes, “I’ve told you not to bother me when I’m studying.” She snapped at him.

He stalked towards her frustratedly. She didn’t look away from her book as she felt him getting closer. “And I’ve told you that I get the library from four to eleven.” He said in a low tone.

Lucy closed the green-bound book sharply, finally looking at him with narrowed eyes. He towered above her with his lips in a firm frown and his eyes angry. She always felt the urge to recoil in his presence just from his cold stare. Right then she wanted to back down, pack up her things, and study in her room. But she never backed down to anyone and he was no exception.

“Oh, so you get to have the library for three-quarters of the day and I get barely any time in here?” She crossed her arms. “I’ve got actual shit to study for, you know? Like an actual degree to study for.”

He leaned down slightly, “I don’t give a damn about your silly anthropology degree. I need the library to do real work for real life.” He snapped.

It was this way between them from the moment Doctor Stephen Strange walked through the doors of the Sanctum.

Every day, either Lucy did something to annoy him or he did something to annoy her. They’d end up arguing for hours on end. One argument would turn into another and so on and so on. By the time Wong stepped in, they’d realize that they’d been going at it for way too long.

“Of course you don’t. You have your degree already. That’s just how selfish you are.” She snapped and tried going back to her book.

Strange snatched her book from her and slammed it down on the table next to her. “Move before I move you myself.”

She stood up to him, “Can’t you just go read in your room?”

“Can’t you?” He retorted.

She scoffed, “You didn’t even live here until a few months ago. I’ve lived here my entire life, so I’m pretty sure that I hold rank on library privileges.” She crossed her arms.

Strange examined her. The glint in his eyes took Lucy by surprise. She recoiled slightly, feeling a flutter in her stomach. Then a rush of disgust came over her, remembering just who her stomach had fluttered for.

He was repulsive. A vile excuse of a man who sat around all day feeling sorry for himself. She just didn’t get it. Plus he was rude and cold, always so serious. And he wore casual t-shirts with suede blazers... Who wears casual t-shirts with suede blazers? The Ancient One had better fashion sense.

And yet, she couldn’t deny that he was very attractive.

Fine, she’ll bite.

The man was undeniably, absolutely, overwhelmingly sexy. But that didn’t take away from the fact that he was still repulsive. Just because he looked good— and probably felt good— didn’t mean Lucy could ever like him. It was completely harmless to point out that, because of the combined factors of his bone structure, his piercing eyes, and tall stature, he was technically a handsome man by definition.

“What the hell do you even do with an anthropology degree?” He stepped closer with a taunting smile and Lucy’s jaw clenched. “Do you know how fucking useless a degree in anthropology is? Oh! I forgot you’re in that generation of delusional dreamers. No wonder you think it’s actually possible to make a career out of anthropology.” He chuckled.

She felt her heartbeat with rage at his words. He had no idea what he was talking about. Sure, maybe when he was in school a thousand years ago it would seem silly to major in anthropology. But what the world needed in its current state was anthropologists. He wasn’t going to make her feel bad about doing something that she was passionate about and that was going to better the world.

“Yeah, anthropology is so useless.” She said sarcastically. “It might be useless, but hey, not as useless as a medical degree, am I right?” She snapped back at him cheekily.

Lucy was slammed against the wooden bookcase behind her. Searing pain rang through her head as she winced from the force. Strange’s hand squeezed around her throat harshly, his fingers pressing into the sides. She felt her head fill with pressure as his hand cut the oxygen off from her brain. She twitched between her legs and tried pressing her thighs together. Lucy squeaked as Strange held her to the bookcase, the smell of new and old books erotic somehow.

“You think I’m supposed to feel sorry for you, don’t you? Treat you like a child like Wong and The Ancient One do?” He spit at her.

He was so close that she could feel his breath on her skin. It was cold like him and smelled of mint and ice. His piercing eyes glared at her with contempt and his jaw was clenched angrily. A loose strand of his peppered hair fell in front of his face.

Lucy felt a glorious sensation in her stomach as held her there. A mixture between butterflies and a sweet kind of vertigo. A drug-like delirium washed over her in an instant. Too weak to hold her thighs together, her legs had fallen open, her panty-clothed snatch exposed to the air. Strange’s knee had rested on the bookcase just beneath her aching sex. Lucy felt shame overcome her at that moment. There she was, feigning for a man that was strangling and manhandling her. But God, it was so tantalizing— the feeling of his large hand gripping her throat, the electricity forming between her and his knee.

“Well, you’re not a child to me.” He leaned into her. Lucy nearly cried out as his other hand came to her throat, tightening his hold.

He’s going to kill me. She thought. I’m going to die at the hands of a world-class sorcerer.

Lucy wasn’t even frightened by the idea slightly. In fact, it only added to her arousal. The fact that he had that ultimate control over her. He could have easily squeezed the life out of her if he wanted to. Somehow being so out of control turned Lucy on.

She couldn’t hold her moans back anymore. A whimper escaped her lips and she let herself rest on his knee, straddling him like she would a bike. Her cunt was hot against his pant leg as her mouth fell open. She circled her hips slowly, trying to build up friction to satisfy her somewhat. Her mouth watered as she fucked herself with his knee. Halted breaths escaped her lips as her movements grew faster.

Strange looked down between them and saw her lower half moving against him in frenzied, manic fashion. He felt wetness gathering on the fabric of his pants. He looked back up at the young girl, her eyes now rolled back into her head. He loosened his grip on her slightly.

“You’re sickening, you know that?” He started but she only quickened her pace. “Using my knee to get off like a whore. Is that what you are, hm? A groveling little harlot?” He gritted.

His words heightened the pleasure she gave herself. She bore down against him more, feeling her orgasm getting close. But Strange wasn’t going to let her go that easily. If she liked being treated like a whore then he would treat her like one.

“Fucking slut.” He moved his knee away from her cunt. Lucy responded with a disappointed cry as she humped the air in search of relief. Strange pulled Lucy away from the shelf harshly and she whimpered. He crudely pushed her down onto her knees in front of the wooden table she’d been studying at. She screamed out as her knees banged against the cold floor.

“Usually in this instance,” He breathed as he conjured his magic to hold her arms tightly behind her, “I would afford a young lady the pleasure of me eating her cunt.” He started to undo his belt buckle and Lucy shivered. “But you’re not a lady, are you? You’re just a filthy little slut eager for my cock.” He snatched his pants open.

Lucy avoided looking at him directly, ashamed of the burning between her legs at his dirty words. She bit down on her lip as she looked at the bulge in his black boxers. She could tell that he had a reason to be as arrogant as he was.

Strange used one hand to gather her hair into a makeshift ponytail while the other rested on his hip. He looked down at her impatiently, “Go on. Show me how hungry you are for my cock.” He demanded.

Lucy looked up at him nervously, suddenly feeling very insecure. Here was this man who was much older than her and arguably more experienced from the way he handled her. He was more than likely expecting a blow job for the books, something that she wasn’t sure she was capable of.

Strange rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, “What? Now you’re scared?” He snapped. He pulled her face closer to his crotch by her hair. “Come on.” He coaxed.

Lucy shifted her weight forward with her eyes still focused on Strange. She saw his chest rising and falling drastically with his breaths as Lucy placed a kiss on the fabric covering his cock. She peppered kisses up to his pelvis, nestling her nose in the hairs on his skin. She took the waistband of his boxers between her teeth, all the while the heat between her legs blazed. Slowly, she lowered herself back down, pulling his boxers down with her. Her teeth grazed the skin of his cock as she slid down the length of him. Strange helped her the rest of the way, eagerly pulling his boxers completely off.

His cock sprang at her, almost slapping against her face. Strange flicked his tongue out to wet his lips as Lucy snaked hers out to tease his tip. Strange tightened his hold on her hair suddenly, “Don’t tease me or you’ll regret it.” He snapped and she nodded submissively.

Lucy wrapped her lips around his tip. She hollowed her cheeks, suctioning his member. Her tongue toyed at his slit, which was leaking pre-cum. Then she pulled back before sinking his full length into her mouth. A satisfied sigh left Strange’s mouth as he threw his head back. Lucy let out a throaty groan as she felt his tip hit the back of her throat, stretching her throat in a way it never had stretched before. He held her there for a long moment, choking on his cock and gasping for air. Then he pulled her back, her mouth making a slurping noise, and let her breathe.

Lucy coughed violently as spit and come dropped down her chin and onto her blouse. She shook and tried to gather air through every orifice she could. Strange used the moment to bend down and rip the front of her blouse open, the buttons hitting the floor as they popped off. Lucy bit her lip and moaned in his ear as he pulled her bra down to expose her breasts. She bucked her hips at him needily as he kept his fingers laced in her soft hair.

“Be patient and stop being greedy or I’ll leave you begging and needy just like this, do you understand?” He asked and Lucy nodded obediently.

He stood back up and fed her his cock again, “Good.” He said as he pushed in past her lips.

Strange sank all the way in again, Lucy shutting her eyes as she struggled to breathe through her nose. This time he pulled back slightly only to thrust back in. He started slowly, gently thrusting his hips back and forth letting himself fill and refill her. Then he grew more aggressive, hungrier, than before. His hips snapped at a violent pace as he began to fuck her mouth. He winced and moaned and cursed as Lucy gargled around him.

Tears formed in her eyes, snot built up in her nose. Her saliva dripped from his cock onto the carpet and from her lips to her thighs. As degraded as she felt, the degradation turned her on. Lucy could feel her cunt dripping in her panties as Strange fucked her willing mouth. The thought that he was using her mouth just to get himself off made her dizzy. That she was being treated as no more than a hole for him to stick his cock in. That he controlled when she could stop. That he controlled when she breathed. She was practically dazed.

Strange pulled her off of him, “No. As much as it satisfies me to see that disobedient mouth of yours put to good use, you don’t get to get off with just my cock in your mouth.” He spoke down to her. “You’re gonna take me in that pretty little cunt of yours.”

Lucy squealed as Strange pulled her up by her armpits. He made her stand up but her legs were too wobbly for her to stand on her own. As Strange knelt in front of her, Lucy rested her hand back on the table. He reached under her skirt and hooked his fingers around her panties. He looked up at her as he slid them down her legs. Lucy pulsated with need.

“Please, Doctor.” She begged in a sweet tone.

Strange halted, letting the cinnamon-colored fabric of her panties gather at her ankles. He looked up at her and Lucy shivered with a twinge of fear. Then he was slamming her against the bookshelf again. “‘Please, Doctor’?” He mocked her. His hand snaked around her throat again. “Open your mouth.” He demanded.

Lucy opened her mouth with no protest at all. She was at his complete mercy. Strange stuck his middle and index finger back deep into her throat, gagging the poor girl relentlessly. When he pulled his fingers back they were drenched in her spit. A line of spit connected her tongue and his fingers. Then he hastily rubbed his fingers into her slick folds.

It felt like Lucy had been shocked with an electric pulse. The pads of his fingers found her pink bud and began rubbing violent circles. He had since released her hands from his magic. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she moved with his fingers. Her head fell back onto the bookcase, Strange’s middle finger teasing her tight entrance.

Lucy let her legs wrap around his waist, hanging off of him like a finger monkey. Strange bent forward and closed his lips around one of her erect nipples. She let out an animalistic grunt. She couldn’t control the lewd bucking of her hips. His tongue poked out and swirled around her areola. Then he sucked the supple flesh of her plump breast into his mouth. His teeth sunk into her skin, piercing her breast slightly. Lucy screamed out and just as she did Strange roughly penetrated her with his middle and ring finger.

“I’m gonna use you like a little sex toy.” He smirked against her blood-pricked breast. Lucy gasped at his crass words that turned her on way more than they should have.

His fingers glided against the soft ridges of her walls. He used his thumb to continue his assault on her swollen clit. Her pussy was pink and raw as every fiber of her body responded to his skillful touch. “Such a pretty pussy. Ripe and pink and it’s all mine.” Her nails scratched his shoulders as she screwed her eyes shut. Strange looked directly at her contorted face, quickening the back and forth movement of his fingers. Lucy felt the tips of his fingers punching against a fleshy spot inside of her cunt. She screamed in pleasure only for Strange to rip his fingers from her core.

Lucy looked at him like he’d gone insane. Strange grabbed her underwear off of the ground and abruptly stuffed them between her sweet lips. “Stay quiet.” He demanded and she let out a muffled whine.

He pulled himself away from her, and used his magic to tie her hands above her head. Her legs were pulled apart as well and she struggled against the restraints that wrapped all the way up her legs.

Lucy looked next to her at Strange, who now stood at the table. Her mouth watered around her panties, sweat droplets formed on her breasts. Strange stood at the table, his lithe yet muscular body on display to her. He read the page that her book was open to on the table. An intent gaze in his eyes as he silently read to himself.

He knew what he was doing to her. He was edging her. Bringing her to the brim but only there. Never letting her fly over the edge like she needed to. He’d left her there tied up and writhing in desperate need of pleasure.

Strange closed her book and gripped it between his fingers. Lucy looked at him expectantly, pushing her body towards him. Strange came in front of her. His tall stature brooding almost. The scent of his cologne filled her nose and sent a wave of euphoria through her. He was so close to her, intoxicatingly close. She could feel the electricity radiating off of him. Her eyes were pleading and he could see how they begged for him just to touch her for one moment.

He waved the hardbound book in front of her face. A teasing smirk on his lips as he did so. “You know I used to be a bit of a bookworm too.” He leaned down to kiss her neck.

Lucy whimpered. “Always somewhere with my nose in a book trying to learn something just like you.” He continued. Lucy threw her head back as he grazed her stomach with the cloth of her book. Her breathing quickened as her mouth drenched her underwear. “This is the greatest lesson you could ever learn.”

Suddenly she felt the soft fabric of the spine pressing against her clit. She cried out again, pulling against her restraints. Lucy’s feet raised off of the ground as intense pleasure flooded her. Her moans were muffled by the panties between her lips. Strange kept his eyes trained on her face as he slowly glided the book’s spine back and forth on her clit.

He was definitely teaching her something important. Never had she ever known pleasure like the kind he was giving to her. She couldn’t think back to a time when anyone had singlehandedly made her feel so good— with something as impromptu as the spine of a book at that.

She was doing it again. Bucking her hips to feel more of the sensation he was giving her. The book slid between her folds. Her pink lips encompassed the spine as his hand and her hips moved together. Although her moans were stifled, the sound of them filled the air. Her cries echoed through the aisles loudly, crudely. Tears streamed down her face from overstimulation but she didn’t want to stop, not even slightly. She wanted him to use her mercilessly, to bring her to the point of her begging him to stop.

His tongue lapped at the bruises he left on her neck. His breath was cold against her skin. When he pulled the book from her heat she chased after it with her hips. Her body shook in deprivation as she felt her orgasm getting further away from her. All at once, she was dropped down, the magic binding her legs and hands disappeared. She squeaked as she was roughly pushed down and her front was slammed against the harsh carpet of the ground.

The side of her face was pressed to the ground. Strange rested his hand on the arch of her back to put her ass on full display to him. Her tear-blurred vision made the books on the shelves hard to see. She heard him lick his fingers and then she felt them rub against her slick folds. She pushed back into his hand, wiggling her lower half lewdly.

Strange took her underwear out of her mouth, “I wanna hear you moan for my cock.” He bent down and kissed her shoulder.

He lined himself up with her slick entrance. Lucy’s cunt puckered around the enlarged head of his prick. He pulled her arms behind her back, holding them there with one hand. His other hand went to her hair to grip at her scalp. Slowly but surely, Strange pressed himself into Lucy. A low sound came from him as every inch of his cock was enveloped in her warmth.

Gasps escaped her as he sunk deeper and deeper into her and Strange grunted. She felt him hit the wall inside of her at her deepest point. She was filled to the brim. No room for anything in her but his girth. Her mouth hung open as Strange rested at that spot inside of her. She felt his cock twitch with excitement just before he pulled back out halfway. Slick noises filled the empty library along with their mixed breaths. His cock was covered in her juices, glistening in the warm lights of the library. Then he snapped his hips forward violently, hitting that spot again but much more harshly. Lucy screamed out and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her pussy clenched around his member as he repeated that same motion at the same harshness.

His pace quickened finally. He would pull out a half-inch only to slam back in quickly. He rocked back and forth with a fervor. She felt him shaking behind her as he took her. He kept a tight grip on her arms and her hair as he fucked her viciously. The sound of his hips slapping against her ass made her deliciously delirious.

Lucy felt her juices running from her cunt onto her thighs. She coated his cock in her wetness, allowing him to easily slide in and out of her. His tip stabbed at that wall deep inside of her. He went in at different angles, seeing which one made her scream the most. It seemed that when he thrusted upward she was the most responsive.

Strange pulled her body against his by her hair. Lucy moaned as he forced her head to rest back on his shoulder. The flesh over her mid-section stretched delightfully, further adding to her state of bliss. Strange’s lips went to her exposed neck again and suckled on her sweet-scented skin. His hand let go of her arms and went to tweak her nipple between his thumb and index finger. Lucy bit down harshly on her lip to quiet her moans.

“You have such a delicious little snatch. Reminds me of how good college sluts are.” He said into her ear.

He grabbed her breast. The pain was so good that she didn’t even care that there was searing, white hot pain in her breast. He squeezed her mound one more time and then slapped the sensitive skin. Lucy thrusted backwards against him. Her movements met his in the middle as he started to go faster. He was practically grinding into her cunt, barely moving in and out of her but driving deeper into her cavity. Almost as if he were trying to push past the barrier inside of her. He brought his hand down to her cunt, stimulating her clit as he fucked her.

He let go of her again. Caught off guard, Lucy fell face first onto the carpet. His cock was pulled from her and she was being lifted yet again. Lucy whined weakly, exhausted and used up as she was. Strange spun her around quickly and brought them face to face. Lucy looked up at him with anticipation clouded with tears. Strange had nothing in his eyes. As hard as Lucy tried to read him, she couldn’t gauge what was on his mind. Even at his most vulnerable, cock practically screaming to release, he still held his firm stare.

Strange abruptly lifted her up into the air, hooking his hands under her knees. Her legs straddled his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck. Her sex was lined up with his cock again and she longed to just sink down and impale herself on him. But she could see that Strange would not like it if she did.

A warmth radiated beneath them. It tickled up Lucy’s legs and then soared through her body. Lucy felt herself being lifted into the air as Strange’s arms wrapped her waist. Lucy panicked suddenly, looking down as a scared noise came from her. The floor got further and further away and the ceiling got closer. The bookcases lining the library getting smaller and smaller. Strange sensed her unease and lifted her chin back up so her eyes met his again. “Look at me.” He said.

Lucy nodded and pressed her body against his more. Their noses brushed against each other. Lucy ached to kiss his lips more than anything. Her breasts grazed against his chest obscenely. They were now completely in the air, floating above the entire library. Lucy stayed focused on Strange as he crossed his legs underneath her. Innocently, Lucy placed a chaste kiss on Strange’s cheek. She was too afraid of how he would react to a kiss on the lips. Strange breathed into her ear, hands running up and down her back. His lips attached to the lobe of her ear. He bit down gently and Lucy winced delightfully.

As Lucy peppered kisses to his cheek and he bit down on her ear, Strange reached between them for his cock. Lucy moaned, feeling his tip run along her soar cunt. Strange moaned as his cock was lubricated with Lucy’s sap. She felt his heart beating faster against hers. A long moan escaped her lips as she felt the tip of his cock slide in.

She stretched around the width of his head. He teased her, not daring to push any deeper. As his tip sat there inside of her, Lucy was so aroused that she felt actual pain. She cried out as agonizing need and desire overcame her. Her pussy burned around him and her nails dug into his skin. The wall inside of her beat like a drum as it craved to feel his cock slamming against it.

“Such a dirty fucking slut.” He growled. Lucy wailed again and shook. “You want more, hm?” He teased her and Lucy nodded exhaustedly. “Use your filthy mouth and say it.” He demanded.

“Yes, Doctor. I need you in me, please.” She begged.

Strange shook his head with a tsk, “Try harder.”

Tears slipped out of her eyes and she threw her head back. She could hardly take any more. “Please fuck me, Doctor. I need to feel your come inside of me. I want to feel my cunt stretching around you, Doctor.” She breathed out, barely able to speak. “P-Please, Doctor, make me your slut.”

With her words, Strange pulled her off of him. Her cunt made a popping noise as his head left her wetness. He pulled her against his chest, hand still on his cock. He had to make her suffer once more before he gave her what she needed. Lucy’s hands clawed at his shoulders. He lined them up again and Lucy whimpered. His hands pushed her hips down and her cunt squelched as she sank onto his cock.

“Doctor!” Lucy cried.

His hand came to her back again and rubbed the flesh over her spine gently. Lucy bottomed out on his prick and his tip hit that spot inside of her. She shivered and buried her face in his neck. But Strange pulled her back so he could see her face. “I want to see you fall apart.” He grunted.

Lucy had to work her way up to a quicker pace. She felt her nerves spike as she was now in control of both of their pleasure. She tried moving up and down as fast as she could but her body felt so tingly that she could barely move at all. She was unstable as she bounced up and down on his thick cock. The only thing keeping her upright was Strange’s firm grip on her hips.

Strange’s jaw clenched as Lucy’s breasts danced in his face. Her hands gripped his shoulders and started snaking their way up to his neck. Her fingers brushed against his veins, driving him insane.

At that moment, he allowed himself to look at the young girl on top of him.

His eyes scanned over her face. Her sweet lips open in an eternal gasp. Her dark brows were knit together tightly, her button nose scrunched. A deep blush spread across her cheeks and neck, accentuating the love bites he had left. Her breasts bounced with her, just taunting him to take them into his mouth. Her walls clenched and unclenched around him, sending waves through his cock. She looked like a dream as she came undone on his manhood. Absolutely sinful, completely filled with his cock, fucking herself to climax.

Lucy felt shame overcome her suddenly as she thought of the reality of the situation. She was suspended in the air, completely in the nude, fucking a world-class sorcerer who happened to be a colleague of her mother’s.

Mother. She thought.

Her mother could have portaled in at any moment. She could walk in and see Lucy screwing a man who was not only much older than her but an authority figure in her life. Wong could have wandered in and seen his friend fucking Lucy, who he had raised as his own daughter as well. What would they have thought if they saw her like that? Defiled and feral as Strange fucked her into oblivion. The thought made her feel sick, yet it did nothing to stop her.

Suddenly, Strange pulled her flush against him. With his cock still inside of her, he floated them back down and gently rested them on the wooden tabletop. He laid back and Lucy placed her hands on his chest. He was deeper now, threatening to rip her open. She could feel him growing in size inside of her. Her nails left scratches on his chest as she began grinding her hips into him. The very tip of his cock glided against the spongy barrier of her cunt at a rapid pace.

He threw his head back as Lucy began going faster on him. Her breaths were curt and short, uneven and ragged. Wisps of hair lining her forehead stuck to the glistening sweat that had gathered at her hairline. Mascara ran down her cheeks from the tears that had streamed down her face. Strange brought his hands up to grip both of her tits, holding them in place.

Lucy’s stomach hollowed as she struggled to keep breathing. Strange looked down at where they were connected. He watched as his cock disappeared and reappeared in and out of her cunt. The sight was hypnotic, putting him in a trance. Just beneath her belly button, he saw a slight bulge protruding from her stomach. His eyes locked on that spot watching closely as her stomach poked out with each bounce. When he realized what he was looking at, his head swooned.

“Fuck,” Strange moaned as he watched her stomach. His hand glided down her body and to her abdomen. His palm rested there, feeling his cock moving in and out of her. His thumb swiped over her clit messily to further drive her toward climax. “You feel that? You feel how deep I am?” He asked her and she nodded feverishly.

She felt the fire in her cunt beginning to blaze through her body. Her movements became untamed as she got closer to her orgasm. Strange pressed his feet into the table beneath them and began to thrust up into her. His cock twitched in her, swelling as he picked up his pace. She felt herself stretching even more to accommodate his growing size as if she weren’t stretched enough already. There was a creeping sensation at her clit, a mixture between a tickle and a sting that felt incredibly intoxicating.

Strange wasn’t going to last much longer. With the combination of her cunt squeezing him and the sight of Lucy losing herself on him, his orgasm was so close that he could practically taste it. His cock stabbed up into her violently as he chased that bliss he ached for. He’d never noticed how beautiful Lucy truly was until then. Of course, he’d looked at her— really looked at her. He’d noted that she was attractive. But as she bounced on top of him, mouth gasping vulgarities as she came, he saw that she was truly beautiful.

He pulled Lucy’s body down on top of his. He tangled his hand in her hair, the other arm wrapping around her back to hold her against him. His hips thrusted into hers at a new, unfettered pace. Lucy gasped and screamed as she felt her cunt deluge with secretions. And suddenly like a strong electric pulse, she shook against him with a long, dragged-out moan. Her body melted into his and he held her close.

Lucy had no breath nor strength left. She was completely spent, now just a willing hole for Strange to use till his heart’s content. She lied there exhausted on top of him, arms lazily draped over his shoulders. Her form easily moved with his as he thrusted deeper and harder. She heard him let out a grunt painfully. The sound of his breath echoing in her ear almost overtook the sound of his hips slapping against her bum. She scrunched her face as she felt another orgasm approaching quicker than the last one. She whined out as she came again within seconds of her first orgasm. Her pussy throbbed in pain and pleasure as she keened in his ear, coming down from her high.

Strange was relentless. His cock touched every spot inside of her that she never knew existed. He got every ridge, every soft spot, every crevice. His tip hit the barrier in her like a fist to a punching bag. Before Lucy had time to gather herself, she felt her cunt salivate around him again. She squealed, using the last of her strength to grip his shoulders. She wasn’t sure she could take another orgasm.

Strange’s hips sped up unnaturally, pumping himself into her like that until his cock shook and Lucy felt her walls being painted. He let out a loud moan, his hips halting with his cock pressed into Lucy’s brink. His come shot inside of her sore cunt. Lucy heard the bookcases teeter as books flew from the shelves all around them. A leg on the table buckled under their weight, causing the table to sit lopsidedly. But neither Lucy nor Strange paid any of the chaos around them any mind. Each spurt of his seed coated her raw flesh deliciously. Lucy felt herself swoon as she felt how full her pussy was. His come overflowed in her, leaking out and mixing with her sap. The power of his orgasm had shaken the room. Lucy feared that her mother or Wong might have caught them with how loudly the books had hit the floor.

She laid on top of him for a while, his arms holding her there. His cock stayed hard for a substantial amount of time inside of her. Every few minutes she felt a twitch and then a cool sensation hit her barrier. His cock released like that until he went flaccid in her core. His heart rate slowed and his hold loosened. She could feel him calming down slowly but surely. The pulsing in her core stopped but she still felt sore and likely would feel that way for a few days. Strange pulled out of her, his prick falling onto his lower stomach flatly. Lucy lifted herself off of him and looked down at his soft shaft. Even with his cock not erect, he hadn’t lost an inch.

Strange sat up and reached for her arm, “Let me see my work.” He pulled her back.

Lucy could barely stand on her own two legs. She slunk back to sit on the table with his help. Her cunt was tender and incredibly sensitive, every step sending a shock through her. Strange slapped both of her knees, silently commanding her to spread her legs. Lucy whined weakly as she let her knees fall apart to reveal her pink sex.

Strange’s eyes were glued to her pussy, unable to look away even if he wanted to. She was swollen and raw. He could see her clit twitching, screaming to be relieved. Her entrance puckered as she breathed deeply. Her core and the entire surrounding area coated with sweat and arousal. He knew that his seed was buried deep in her being soaked up by her soft walls.

Lucy kept her eyes on his face as he studied her dripping core. She bit down on her lip, determined to not make any more noises. Strange slapped her pussy suddenly, a sting reverberating through her. She screamed out and threw her head back, but Strange gripped her hair and pulled her head forward so she had no choice but to watch him repeatedly slap her sensitive cunt. She grunted as his fingers harshly slapped against her clit. His hand became wet with her arousal.

Suddenly he pushed three of his fingers into her and Lucy watched helplessly. His long fingers curved in her, hitting the roof of her insides. Lucy’s eyes rolled back into her head as he wedged a fourth finger into her. She made a squelching noise as his fingers pumped in and out painfully slowly. He pressed his fingers hard up against her ceiling, opening her up so much that she felt cold air inside of her.

She could feel a stream coming out of her. The pressure of his fingers was pushing his come out of her. They both watched as cream flowed out of her gaping hole. Lucy’s mouth hung open in ecstasy at the erotic sight. She leaked out onto the table that had been completely destroyed by their excursion. A cocky smirk spread across his lips as he let go of her hair. Lucy’s arms shook as she tried to support herself on her own. As Strange’s one hand held her roof open, he sunk the index and middle finger of his other hand into the space beneath his knuckles. His fingers pushed in deep and then slid out against the floor of her cunt, gathering his come.

He brought his fingers to tap her lips, “Open.” He demanded. Lucy’s lips parted and as soon as they did, Strange lodged his fingers inside. She wrapped her lips around them and began bobbing her head on them as if she were sucking his cock. Strange pushed his fingers deeper and deeper until he saw Lucy’s face turn red and her neck buck with a gag. Then he pulled them out, leaving her a coughing mess. Mucus streamed out of her nose and tears formed in her eyes again. Strange wiped his hand across her breasts, the saliva and come making her chest feel sticky. She let out a throaty whine as he jerked his fingers out of her core and pulled himself away from her completely.

Lucy couldn’t even open her eyes anymore. She felt like she’d been thrown into the middle of a tornado, chewed up, and spit out. She was outside of herself. She wasn’t even sure if she could make it back to her bedroom. She just sat on the broken table, shaking and disoriented. And yet, Strange was already up and getting dressed.

As he pulled on his pants and buckled his belt, he barely even looked in her direction. It was a stark contrast to the undivided attention he’d given her just moments before. He didn’t seem to be impacted at all by what they had just done. Like it had never happened to begin with. Meanwhile, Lucy struggled to remember how to speak.

Once he was back in his slacks and his sweater, he finally spared her a glance. He seemed to wince at the sight of her. She wondered if he did so because she looked so disheveled or because he was suddenly disgusted by her after getting what he wanted. He let out a bothered sigh and looked away from her. “You should be able to find some kind of contraceptive spell in one of these books.” He said coldly. “If not, there’s always the drug store down the street.” He added.

She looked at him and scoffed, “Seriously?” She snapped.

He looked at her with narrowed eyes and then chuckled, “Don’t tell me you expected anything more of me. We fucked. That’s it.” He snapped.

She felt her heart sink, but some part of her knew it all along— part of her even wanted it (or thought she did). But still, just for a moment, she thought about what it might be like to actually have something with him. It was foolish, she was aware. Strange and her couldn’t stand each other. Their session had felt like a disparaging hate-fuck, something far from caring and tender.

And as he stalked out of the library, letting the old doors close behind him, leaving the displaced books and Lucy, she knew that they would never be anything.

—

okay so, that was a ride... literally.

honestly, i’m probably gonna do a part two because i am not okay with strange just leaving lucy like that. so yeah, we’ve gotta rectify that situation (not me saying this as if i’m not the fucking author please-). but i know strange seems like an asshole but i’m gonna explain further in the next part as to why he acted that way towards her.

anyways rip lucy’s cooch and my dignity.

Theo pressed Lena against the cobblestone of the dungeons. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she felt his manhood rubbing against her sex. Lena tilted her head back and let out a breathy moan as his lips attacked her neck. “God, you’re so beautiful,” Theo whispered against her skin and she felt a chill run down her spine.

Lena’s nails dug into his back as she heard him begin to unbuckle his belt. She peppered sweet kisses down his neck, her moans vibrating through his skin as he pushed her panties to the side.

He very slowly lowered her onto him, letting each inch of himself sink into her. Lena breathed out as he bottomed out inside of her. Theo buried his face in her neck, grunting as he gripped her hips. “Theo,” She breathed.

Lena gently moved up and down to meet his thrusts. A delicious swoon came over her as Theo pulled her top down to reveal one of her breasts. His soft lips wrapped around the sweet bud and sucked lightly, swirling his tongue over the sensitive skin.

She didn’t want to admit it, but he felt better than anyone else she’d been with.

He even felt better than Fred.

Months of yearning for each other. Stealing glances from across the library and potions classroom. Their passion had built up, boiling over and burning them. Just the touch of Theo’s fingers on her sent the young witch into a tizzy. The way he kissed her and held her so tenderly was so unlike Fred, but it was oh so good.

Theo lightly bit down on her shoulder as both of them came to their climax. Lena cried out as her orgasm hit her in waves. Each of Theo’s thrusts sent shockwaves through her. His eyes screwed shut as he spilled into her warmth. “Fuck, Lena.” He said lowly.

Moments later, after the fact, the guilt consumed her. She could feel the tears and the panic rise as she and Theo stood in silence.

She had cheated on Fred.

How could she do that?

She loved Fred, Fred loved her. She had no reason to be unfaithful, right?

It had just been so long. Lena hadn’t spoken to Fred in nearly a year. She craved a man’s presence, the feeling of someone else’s weight on her. And Theo was handsome and intriguing and he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

It would never happen again. She didn’t need Theo when she had Fred.

She loved Fred and didn’t want anyone else. She’d chalk up her encounter with Theo as a moment of weakness. Fred was her soulmate, and that was all.

~

July 27, 1997

Lena’s head rested against Theo’s chest. Theo played with each of her fingers

The war was beginning to rage and so was Lena’s anxiety. Not only did she have no clue where Fred was, but she knew Theo wanted to fight.

Theo was stubborn and still had that Slytherin determination as if he had something to prove. Ever since he defected from being a Death Eater, he had this horrible chip on his shoulder. He wanted a fight, he looked one for everywhere he went. He’d settled a little bit, finally, after Lena convinced him to go into hiding. She thanked the gods every day that Molly agreed to take him in until Tonks found somewhere permanent for him to stay.

Theo often mentioned the idea of running away. Just her and him, moving from place to place before they settled once all of it was over. But Lena refused. She had to see the war through to the end. But in all honesty, the idea was tempting. Especially if it meant that Theo would be safe.

Their affair started as a way for her to cope. Fred was gone and she craved companionship. She desperately needed to feel the weight of a man on top of her, holding her. But it turned out that Theo was too good at his job.

She started to feel more for him very quickly. And she swore that the moment she started to feel soft on him, she would never lay with him again. But then it kept happening. Before she even realized it, she was kissing down his chest as her hands roamed across his broad back.

And now, here she laid on his chest, overwhelmed with anxiety over his well-being.

Part of her felt guilty. Technically she was still with Fred. But she hadn’t seen Fred in a year.

When Fred and George left Hogwarts, they truly left without a trace. No one, not even Molly, had heard from the two boys in ages. The last thing Lena heard about them was that they were traveling across the continent selling products from their business.

But she was also angry. If Fred truly loved her as much as he claimed, why hadn’t he written to her? Why hadn’t he called? Was he so busy that he couldn’t even be bothered to pass along a message or send a bouquet of flowers on her birthday? The fact that he was able to continue in life so easily without her hurt.

“We could still run, you know? I could make a portkey that’ll have us in Iceland by morning.” Theo smiled down at her.

Lena chuckled lightly, “The answer is still no, Silly. Now come, Molly must need help with dinner for Harry and the others when they touchdown in a few.” She said as she got out of bed.

They’d been keeping themselves a secret from Molly. Though Theo was fairly certain that she had her suspicions. Nonetheless, Lena made sure she entered and exited his room as discreetly as possible.

She got dressed and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. Before she could walk away, Theo caught her wrist. She turned back around and looked at him with confusion.

Theo’s face looked grim as he swallowed harshly. He gently pulled her down to sit next to him. He sat up slowly and cupped her face in his hands, his hands flattening her hair. Lena’s brows furrowed as his eyes ran across her face. “What’s the matter?” She placed her hands on his wrists.

He shook his head and let his thumb rub her cheek, “Nothing. Just let me look at you.” He caressed the top of her hair and forehead.

Lena closed her eyes and let herself feel his touch. She tried to ignore the guilt racking through her.

Fred, Fred, Fred.

What’s wrong with you? You love Fred.

Fred is who you want, remember? Your loving boyfriend who would do anything for you?

Theo’s hands drew patterns across her cheeks. He connected the beauty marks on her skin with lines and squiggles. He drew stars above her eyebrows before letting his fingers ghost over her lips. And just as he leaned in for a kiss, Lena cleared her throat and stood.

“Dinner,” She said, “We should go help Molly with dinner.”

Theo fell back onto the bed with a sigh, his bare chest glistening. “I’d rather stay here and have an obscene amount of sex with you.” He smirked and Lena felt butterflies soar through her stomach.

Lena rolled her eyes playfully, “Haha, very funny.” She put her hair up. “Try to do something though. Even if you don’t come downstairs and help with dinner. I hate how you stay locked away in this room. Read one of Percy’s old books, or ask Ginny if she’ll go for a round of quidditch.” She suggested.

“You’re right, I should do something. Come here and keep me busy.” He said suggestively.

Lena stopped at the door and chuckled, “Always a cheek one, You.”

She raised her hand and twirled her fingers lightly. “Amorcaptus.”

The spell lightly flowed towards Theo. Pink and crimson hearts danced through the air, dissipating once they got to him. A smile came to both of their lips. “What’s this?” Theo asked her.

“Amorcaptus. It’s a lesser-known spell now, but it was really popular in Germany when my mother was young.” She explained to him.

Her mother taught it to her when Lena was very young. “With love” is what it meant. Her mother told her that it became popular in Germany during World War II when many Jewish witches and wizards cast it as a final goodbye to one another before they were separated.

Lena couldn’t tell Theo she loved him. It was wrong and a horrible thing to do to Fred. So she said it with her magic instead, hoping it would be enough to get the message across.

She shrugged, “It’s the only wandless magic I know. Maybe one day I’ll teach it to you.” She smiled and then she was gone.

Later that night, Lena helped Molly set up the extra rooms for when everyone touched down at The Burrow. And after practically begging him, Lena convinced Theo to read one of Percy’s books. He settled on 1984 by George Orwell.

As Lena fluffed the pillows on Ron’s bed she heard the familiar crack of thunder sound off outside. A moment later, Molly called up to her to tell her that Hagrid and Harry had made it back safely.

Lena ran down the stairs and outside to the front lawn. “Harry!” She smiled and wrapped her arms around his short frame in a hug. “You’re okay?”

Harry nodded, “Has no one else come back?” He asked.

“No, you two are the only ones so far.” Lena told him.

Harry’s skin paled slightly before he put on a smile as to not worry Lena. But Lena could see the thoughts in his head swimming.

Ginny came outside, followed by Theo. Lena felt her breath hitch at the sight of him, still stunned by handsome he was after all this time.

Harry ran to Ginny and lifted her into the air. “I was so worried,” Ginny said as Harry spun them around.

Theo’s eyes caught Lena’s and he slowly strode towards her with a slight smile. Lena saw Harry’s face drop at the sight of Theo, his jaw clenching with contempt.

Lena was well aware of how Harry, Ron, and Hermione felt about Theo. And she loved her friends, but she couldn’t tell them about her and Theo. They didn’t even understand why she was nice to him at all. To them, he was just another Death Eater that defected to avoid prison. She couldn’t imagine how they would react to her and Theo being together.

Everyone was focused on Theo discreetly linked his pinky finger with Lena’s. His ice touch made her gasp slightly. It was the most public display of affection they had ever shared, though it was still so small.

Lena closed her eyes while Theo’s eyes scanned over her sculpted face. As he stared at Lena he took in every detail. How the moon beat down on her freckled skin. The way the wind blew her raven-colored hair across her face. Her fluttering, silken lashes and the soft champagne pink of her cheeks.

His lips parted slightly as he tried not to let his thoughts get away from him. But he couldn’t help the way his thoughts ran wild.

Theo cleared his throat, “Lena, I-”

Almost as soon as he opened his mouth, another crack of thunder came down. Lena’s eyes shot open and she didn’t even realize that Theo had said anything.

Her body reacted before her mind fully registered that it was him. At the sight of his fiery hair and tall frame, an electric current soared through her.

He looked up, his downturned eyes looking towards The Burrow. That was when she knew it was him.

Lena didn’t think twice before snatching her hand away from Theo, running towards Fred with a sob. Theo winced and tried not to show his disappointment on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck to hide his reaction.

Fred’s eyes found Lena as she ran to him with her arms outstretched. A feeling of pure euphoria came over him when she hauled herself into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hair forming a curtain on his shoulders. He felt her tears staining his clothing as she violently sobbed.

“Oh, my love.” She cried into his neck before pulling back and kissing him on his plump and slightly bruised lips.

A year. That’s how long it had been since their lips touched, since she had held her face in her hands and looked at him so closely.

Fred smiled against Lena’s lips, “Hello, Lovey. Missed me, I assume?” He asked into the kiss.

Lena almost felt like slapping him harshly across the face. How could he be so nonchalant about disappearing for a year? It was like their time apart meant nothing to him. He didn’t even shed a single tear. “What are you- What are you doing here?”

“George and I decided to surprise everyone. We got the message about the mission and showed up at the Dursley’s. Quite a shock for everyone when they saw us.” He explained.

Theo wasn’t even a thought in her mind anymore. That was until she saw him again, and her feelings for him flooded through her all over again. Her love for him hit her like a tidal wave. She hugged Fred but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Theo.

You fool. Theo thought. What did you expect? You both always knew that this arrangement was temporary.

Fred set Lena down and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He saw Theo standing a few feet away and smiled at him. Theo tried to put on a smile to be polite. “Nott, it’s good to see on the right side.” Fred nodded at him as he walked towards the house with Lena.

“Thanks, Mate...” Theo acknowledged.

Fred patted his shoulder, “Yeah, no problem. It feels good to do good.” He said to the younger wizard passive-aggressively.

It feels good to do your girlfriend, you fire-crotched bloke. Theo couldn’t help but think.

Theo felt like tackling Fred and slapping his smug smile off of his face. He knew how the Weasley’s felt about his Death Eater past and heritage. He knew that most of the Order of the Phoenix looked down upon him. He was tired of putting up with the staring and the whispers and the backhanded comments.

But instead of slamming Fred to the ground, Theo just nodded. “Yeah... feels good.”

Lena felt like her heart was nosediving into her stomach. Her two lovers were interacting with each other. Their alpha-male personalities were clashing slightly. She silently hoped that one wouldn’t say something to set off the other, fearing where confrontation may lead.

Fred kissed the top of her head and Lena eyed Theo guiltily. Theo just stared back at her with an unreadable expression.

“Come on, Lovey. Smells like Mum’s made beef casserole.” He said and Lena smiled slightly at his keen sense of smell.

Theo watched the pair of them saunter towards the house, Lena’s hands running through Fred’s hair and her soft lips peppering kisses across his face.

Lena tried to focus on Fred and how he was finally with her again. She tried to force herself to feel that joy she should have felt after seeing him so long. But she could tell that she was only happy to see him because she felt obligated to. And she also realized that she would have rather been kissing Theo.

~

August 1, 1997

Fred and Lena laid in bed together with nothing flowing between them, despite having just made love to one another.

They had tried to restore what they once had. They spent all of their time together, they tried different ways of showing their affection to each other, they even tried new things in bed to see where it may lead. Nonetheless, Fred and Lena were at all standstill.

Fred could tell from his first night back that she was apprehensive. But he just thought that it was because they hadn’t met for a year. He figured her wariness around him would go away with time. But after nearly two weeks, something was still plaguing his witch.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love him anymore. She’d checked after there was no spark when they made love that first night. She did still love him with all of her heart. But she couldn’t escape how much she missed Theo. She craved his lips and his touch. She craved it so much that Fred’s lips and touch felt like nothing against her skin.

So, she had come to realize she loved them both.

Lena pulled the covers over her chest as she cleared her throat. “The wedding is gonna start soon. We should get ready.” She said and he nodded.

He didn’t know if he should ask her if something was wrong. He could be opening a can of worms without even realizing it. But he wanted her to look at him the way she used to. Like he was the best thing in the world.

“Lena,” He started as she began to get dressed.

Lena turned away from him and scrunched her face. She recognized that tone in the older wizard’s voice. She tried to pretend like she didn’t hear him say her name. Perhaps he wouldn’t try to call to her again if she ignored him.

“Lena,” He said more firm, “we need to find time to talk today.” He stated.

Lena winced internally but said nothing but, “Alright.”

She left almost immediately after, deciding to spend the rest of the day with Fleur and the other bridesmaids. Being around her cousin had been effective in distracting her from Fred and Theo. Plus she could always talk to Fleur considering she was the only person that knew about Theo.

Lena would have told Hermione, but she knew the Gryffindor Princess wouldn’t understand no matter how hard she tried to. She hated that she couldn’t even tell her best friend.

At the wedding reception, Lena tried her best to avoid Fred. She knew it was the perfect time for him to pull her away and speak to her. She just wasn’t ready to confess to him.

She tried biting back that slight pang of jealousy she got when she saw Fred talking to Angelina, his ex. She knew when she and Fred started dating that he would always have a bond with Angie to an extent. Plus, she rationalized that she couldn’t be upset considering Theo.

About an hour into the reception, Fred finally approached his girlfriend. He came up behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on the space between her shoulder and her neck. He placed a soft kiss on her neck, “You look gorgeous in blue.” He smiled and so did she.

Lena closed her eyes and silently prayed he wouldn’t bring up wanting to talk with her. “You look good in orange, but we already knew that.” She giggled.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked.

Lena titled to look at him before she nodded apprehensively. Fred smiled a bit more as he took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

Theo watched from outside of the tent. He would have joined the others, but he wasn’t sure if he was welcome. Despite Bill and Fleur saying he was more than welcome, he still felt like an outsider. But it wouldn’t have mattered or hurt nearly as much if he had Lena.

He had kept his distance from her since Fred’s return. He didn’t want to complicate things even more for her. But he had to admit that he missed her, and being away from her was agony.

He watched Fred and Lena dance together. Her head rested on his chest as they swayed. Fred’s fingers gently raked through her dark hair as he kissed the top of her head. Her eyes fluttered closed in contentment.

Theo cursed himself for the ache in his heart. What a foolish, sorry sack you’ve become. He thought.

He had had his share of conquests. He, Blaise, and Draco had flipped the skirts of many dames in their time as young men. He’d even had an affair with the daughter of the caretaker at his parent’s home in Greece. So, he wasn’t able to understand why the thought of not having Lena anymore pained him.

Never had he ever felt for a girl the way he felt for Lena. He felt like a fool, stupidly in love with a girl who used him. But he couldn’t help but love her. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a girl as beautiful and kind and intelligent as Lena?

Oh, how he wished that he could dance with her publicly. Or do anything publicly, for that matter.

He wanted her, he wanted her in the true way. Not in the way of sneaking around, kissing in empty dark rooms, and linking pinky fingers. He wanted to hold her hand as they walked down the streets of Diagon Alley. He wanted to sit with her in a sandwich shop and talk the way they did in private. He wanted her to read him in the mornings as he made her coffee just the way she liked it.

He just wanted her.

“You could go inside if you’d like.” He heard a girly voice from the side of him.

Theo turned and saw the infamously quirky Luna Lovegood. She had a slight smile on her lips and her eyes gaped just like always.

“What?” He asked the strange girl.

“I’m sure no one will mind if you go inside. I think Lena would enjoy seeing you.” She said as if she could read his mind.

He wanted to scoff at her. How naive of her to think that the situation was so black and white. But he held his laugh in, remembering how Lena told him that Luna didn’t have very many friends.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Luna.” He pushed his hands into his pockets.

A giggle escaped her, “That’s not very Slytherin of you.” She shrugged absently.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said, slightly offended.

He was so sick of the other three houses looking down upon Slytherin. As if they were the only house to produce dark wizards and Death Eaters. And being constantly surrounded by Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs made him the outlet for almost everyone’s animosity towards Slytherin.

“I don’t mean to offend you. I only mean to say that my favorite quality about Slytherin house has always been your drive and desire to get what you want. It’s not like you to walk away from something you desire.” She explained.

Theo’s defenses came down slightly as she explained herself. He should have known better. Luna Lovegood would befriend a Dementor if she could.

He looked down at the dress shoes Arthur let him borrow, “She doesn’t want me.” He said quietly.

“Sure she does. I’ve seen how you look at each other. She’s just scared is all. But I’m fairly certain she’ll feel better once you tell her how you feel.” Luna assured him.

He felt her place her hand on his shoulder. The two of them stood there in silence, staring at the jubilant scene in the tent.

He’d always dismissed the eclectic Ravenclaw as daft. She did tend to go off on irrelevant tangents. And she did come off as an airhead at times. But Luna Lovegood was actually quite insightful. And she was pretty good at giving advice.

Theo heard a rushing sound from above, a small blue light visible out of the corner of his eye. Both he and Luna looked up and saw a blue sphere flying past them and directly towards the tent.

“Well, that’s peculiar,” Luna said as Theo pulled her away from the tent with him.

Lena heard gasps from around her and felt Fred’s grip on her tighten. She opened her eyes just as the Patronus landed in the center of the room. Fred pulled her behind him to shield her from any potential danger.

Everyone backed away from the Patronus, which Lena now recognized as Shacklebolt’s lynx. Lena peered around Fred and spotted Hermione across the tent. She felt someone grip her hand and looked down to see Fleur’s manicured hand.

“The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.” The Patronus announced cryptically.

Lena felt her blood run cold. Without The Ministry, there was no form of government to keep the Death Eaters at bay. The Death Eaters essentially had the will to do whatever they pleased.

The Patronus disappeared and the entire tent went into a panic. Everyone began to either run or disapparate as far away from The Burrow as they could.

Bill and Fred kept Fleur and Lena behind them as they found their way to George and Ginny. Death Eaters began to invade the tent, casting killing curses almost as soon as they apparated in.

Lena’s mind raced.

We’ve lost. We’ve lost the war.

My parents don’t know if I’m safe. I don’t know if they’re safe.

Harry. They’ll kill Harry. He’s our only hope.

Theo...

Theo!

Her thoughts stopped running about when his name came to mind.

Theo. She thought. He’s still at the house. They’ll kill him and hang him for all to see if he’s found.

She began to feel sick. She remembered how Theo told her that his father vowed to kill him himself for abandoning the Dark Lord’s cause. And now, possibly an army of Death Eaters were on their way to The Burrow.

She couldn’t leave him, she wouldn’t.

Theo couldn’t die.

He can’t die! She panicked internally.

Not after they worked so hard to protect him. Not after he made her love him.

Lena stopped running, gently pulling Fleur back. Fleur turned and looked at her like she’d lost her mind. She didn’t even think before she began tugging her along again. “Lena, let’s go!” Fleur yelled.

“No! No, Theo is at the house still! We have to go get him!” She said to her cousin.

Fleur gave Lena an apologetic stare, “We have to go, Lena. When we get somewhere safe we’ll send a signal to let him know where we are.” She tried to pull the younger witch along again.

“No!” Lena insisted.

Before she could protest anymore, Bill intervened. He gripped Lena’s other hand in his, making sure the hold was tight. Instinctively, Lena gripped his hand back. She didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late. She saw Fred and George’s hands on both of Bill’s shoulders. Ginny had her arms around his waist tightly. As soon as Lena tried to pull her hand away, Bill disapparated all six of them out of the tent.

Theo and Luna watched as people began rushing out of the tent.

Theo’s feet immediately started carrying him towards the tent, towards Lena. But Luna pulled him back before he got too far.

Xenophilius rushed out of the tent and frantically searched for his daughter. Luna spotted his floral waistcoat and his ice hair. “Here, Dad!” She called to him.

When Theo saw him, he knew that the man had to be Luna’s kin. They were dressed almost exactly the same and he had the same silver eyes as Luna.

Xenophilius came to the two young wizards, “Thank the gods, you’re alright.” He hugged his daughter. “Come, we must leave immediately. We’ll stay at your grandmother’s until everything settles.” He added and Luna nodded.

Xenophilius’ eyes landed on Theo. He recognized him as the boy the Weasley clan had taken in. The defected Death Eater. He held no prejudice towards the young boy. After all, he was just a boy and not much older than Luna. He couldn’t leave him.

“You are welcome to come too, my boy,” Xenophilius said to Theo.

Theo didn’t know why, but Xenophilius’ invitation shocked him. He knew that much of The Order didn’t care for him. He had expected to be left as Death Eater bait. He hadn’t expected Xenophilius or anyone to offer him asylum.

Xenophilius saw the wheels turning in Theo’s head. “It’s alright, Son. Any friend of Luna’s is a friend of mine.” He said sincerely as he offered Theo his hand.

Theo swallowed harshly, Lena’s sly smile and freckles coming into his mind. “Lena,” He strained out.

“Lena Humphries?” Xenophilius asked recalling how Lena had been something of a role model for Luna. Theo perked up and Xenophilius nodded, “She’s safe, I believe. I saw her disapparate with the bride and groom.” He reassured Theo.

A Death Eater soared past them and Xenophilius pulled Luna closer. The Death Eater landed and cast a killing curse at one of the guests. The sight of the green beam shook Theo to his core.

“We must go!” Xenophilius said to them and Theo nodded, finally taking the man’s hand.

Now here she sat, tears welling up in her eyes. Next to her, Lavender and Parvati showed her the copies of the intimate photos she shared with Fred that had been circulating around the school. Photos of her in her underwear, posing promiscuously. Enchanted pictures of his fingers running over her breasts and stomach. Laying completely nude on his bed as they made love—or so she thought.

“I’m sorry, Vespyr.” Parvati said.

Vespyr felt like her breath had been stolen away. Her chest was red hot with a feeling she’d never felt before. It was like heartbreak elevated to a higher plane.

“We tried to collect all of them, but I think Fay said she saw more in one of the corridors. We told McGonagall and she’s looking into it.” Lavender added gently.

Fred couldn’t have done this. He would never have shown those photos to anyone. But how else would they have gotten out to the school? Maybe someone found them in his dorm. He wouldn’t hurt her like this.

Vespyr walked down to the common room where she knew Fred was. She had to speak with him immediately. Surely he’d know how the photos had gotten around.

When she got to the common room, she saw Fred sitting around the card table with his friends. She stood in the frame of the stairway with her arms crossed over her chest, feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She saw the dirty look Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley gave to her. She also noticed the way Alicia, Angelina, and Katie laughed at her.

Trying her best to ignore them, she made her way across the room to Fred. As she approached, Lee and Cormac’s eyes landed on her. She felt unease rise in her as smirks grew on their faces.

She realized that everyone in that room had probably seen her photos. The photos that were only meant for Fred to see. They’d all seen her in her most vulnerable and intimate state. And even though she was completely clothed, she’d never felt more exposed.

Vespyr stood behind Fred’s chair, his broad back to her. She cleared her throat as she shifted uncomfortably. Fred continued playing cards, however, as if he hadn’t heard her.

George now looked up at Vespyr. He got a worried look which quickly changed into an apologetic expression. Vespyr couldn’t smile or do anything other than stare blankly at him, too consumed with the thought that he too had probably seen her naked.

Vespyr cleared her throat again but still got no response from Fred. Finally George kicked his brother under the table. Fred winced slightly as George motioned to where Vespyr stood behind them.

She already felt humiliated. She needed to see Fred’s face. She knew once she saw his warm, chocolate eyes and dimples that she’d feel safe again. But when Fred turned to look at her, she felt the opposite of safe. He looked at her like she was an embarrassment, like she was a burden. A nagging duck that had imprinted on him, a pimple that just won’t go away.

Vespyr looked down at her loafers, a hurt feeling coming over her. “Can I please talk to you?” She asked Fred.

Fred glanced back at the other boys at the table. Vespyr wanted to sob when she saw the way they chuckled. Then Fred turned back to her, “Yeah. Sure.” He shrugged, smacking his hand of cards onto the table.

Vespyr practically sprinted out of the common room and into the corridor. Fred followed behind her with his hands tucked into his pockets.

They stood in the corridor, Fred barely able to meet her eyes. The fact that he couldn’t even look at her was enough to tell her that he had done something. She didn’t even have to ask because she already knew. But still, she wanted to hear him say what he had done. And she wanted to know why.

“Please tell me that you didn’t do this, Fred. Please tell me that I’m crazy for even thinking you had something to do with this. T-Tell me that someone stole these,” She threw three of the photos at him, “from your drawer and you didn’t know. Just tell me you didn’t do this.” She said as tears welled up in her eyes.

Fred finally looked at Vespyr. Her nose was bright red and the crystal tears in her eyes made them look unreal. He let out a sigh and Vespyr prepared herself for whatever he was about to say.

“It was so stupid how it started out, Vess. Okay, we were all just fucking around after quidditch practice.” He started.

Vespyr felt a chill run down her spin, “Alright,” She said in a tone that encouraged him to continue.

Fred let his body lean against the wall next to him. “I don’t know who brought it up but we started talking about that stupid fucking list-”

She knew what list he was referring to. She’d seen far too many girls shed tears after finding out they were on it. And she’d also seen girls cry because they didn’t make the list. It was a topic of many conversations for the upper-classmen, and a source of frustration for the school’s staff. Vespyr recalled one time when Lavender gushed about how she desired to be on the list.

The list of Hogwarts most desirable—better known by the quidditch boys as “Hogwarts’ Most Fuckable”.

Vespyr never thought that she would be on the list. It had never even crossed her mind. But the thought of being on it made her feel sick.

“-We were all laughing and then Cormac brought up Ginny’s name, and he said that he was gonna put her on the list unless someone else put another girl on there. And I just got pissed and I didn’t want Ginny on it, so I brought you up.” Fred explained frantically.

Vespyr’s heart began to race. And even still, she felt for him. She still felt a sweet tug in her heart as she looked at him. Even though he was breaking her heart.

“I didn’t know that they were gonna plaster the picture all over the school, Vess, I swear.” He reached for her hands.

Vespyr blinked, gently pulling her hands away. Her stomach started to flip in a horrible way. She felt like she was going to faint. “Y-You showed them those pictures? Why would you- why would you do that?” She asked him.

“They were gonna put Ginny on the list, alright? She’s only in fourth year, I- I panicked. What should I have done?” He tried to make her understand, taking her hands in his again.

This time she snatched her hands away, “You could have told McGonagall, o-or you could have stopped it. I don’t know, Fred, you just could have done something.” She breathed out now.

Fred scoffed, “Yeah, tell McGonagall and have the entire quidditch league think I’m some git.” He defends.

“So you decided that I should suffer the consequences?” She snapped at him.

Fred couldn’t say anything back to her. He had no defense for what he had done. It was a horrible thing to do to someone, especially someone you claim to care about. “It’s just a stupid list, Vespyr.”

Her eyes widened with anger, red clouding her vision. “If it’s just a stupid list, then Ginny could have been on it, right?” She snapped.

“Vess-” He shook his head.

She couldn’t describe what she was feeling. It was a rage and anger that she had never felt in all her life. The betrayal coupled with the dismissal of it all made her livid.

“That’s because it’s not just a stupid list!” She pushed his chest angrily.

Fred pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Vespyr. But when Cormac brought Ginny up, he felt like his hands were tied.

Fred tried pulling Vespyr into his embrace but she pushed against him. “Don’t.” She said sternly.

He sighed, “What do you want me to do?” He asked finally.

She looked up at him as if he’d gone mad, “I want you to stop this. I want you to defend me from all the shit people are saying.” Vespyr told him.

He gave her a confused look. “How am I supposed to defend you, Vespyr? Okay, this isn’t all my fault.” He said.

He knew it sounded wrong coming out of his mouth. He just wanted to feel less guilty about what he had done. He didn’t want to hurt her any further, but that was exactly what he was doing.

“I’m sorry, do you mean to imply that this is my fault?” She asked him.

He shrugged slightly, “I mean, you gave me the pictures, Vess.” He said.

“Because you asked for them!” She yelled back, her finger pressing into his chest.

She picked up the photos that were strewn on the ground. “These pictures, these pictures that you asked me for, were private. These pictures weren’t for your ‘stupid list’.” She ripped them up and threw them at his face.

Fred continued to try to calm her down, but she wasn’t going to calm down. There were no words that he could say to make her any less angry than she felt in that moment. He tried to grab her arms, he tried to hug her even. But there was nothing that was going to make this better.

Tears streamed down her face. Her throat was closing up, causing her voice to be thick. She felt like she might explode from the pressure mounting in her head. “You know I never did anything like that for anyone else before you? I never even thought to give a guy something like that until you. And now- now you do this?” She cried.

Fred’s jaw clenched as he looked at the space between them. “Yeah, well, I didn’t force you.”

Vespyr couldn’t believe him. How could he not see the error in his words? And why was he being so hurtful towards? She thought he cared about her. He said he would always protect her and he would never let anything happen to her. She trusted him and now he was doing the very opposite of protecting her. He was deliberately putting her in harm’s way.

She scoffed and pushed past him, not wanting to hear any more. She was so unimaginably angry at him, at all of them. For doing this to her and then having the nerve to think less of her.

Vespyr paused and turned around to look at him. Fred’s tall frame came into view again. “You’re a sad sack of a man and you will never touch me again.” She said as strongly as she could, but the crack in her voice made her fall short.

Fred hadn’t meant to put any blame onto Vespyr. He wanted to be there for her. God knows that he didn’t want to lose her. But it was like every time he spoke, the wrong words kept coming out. His mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

Now she had confirmed it, though she had already known the answer somewhat. Vespyr was alone in this. The pictures were out and the damage was done. Everyone around her was silently, and not so silently, judging her. And Fred was too much of a coward to stand by her through it all.

~

It had been three very long weeks. Vespyr had only spoken to Lavender and Parvati due to the fact that they were the only people who would talk to her. Then there was Neville, who was always nice. And of course Luna, the kindest soul anyone had ever met. And despite some forlorn stares from across the room on Fred’s part, she hadn’t spoken to him either.

She wondered if anyone had empathy for her. If anyone could stop calling her names long enough to actually put themselves in her place and try to understand. If any of them could bestow a little grace upon her.

It seemed like those pictures just wouldn’t go away. She thought it would blow over after a week or so, but it just wasn’t. Every time she thought it might be over, someone would leave a picture in one of her notebooks or her owl would deliver an envelope full of them, or whatever cruel way the student body decided to remind her.

At lunch, Draco Malfoy and his friends came up to her. Draco tapped her on her shoulder and she turned around. When she saw who it was, she knew it couldn’t be good.

Vespyr sighed, “Yes?”

Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini snickered next to him as Pansy Parkinson sneered at Vespyr.

“Sorry, we just wanted to know your price.” Draco smirked, elbowing Blaise playfully.

Lavender glared at him and Vespyr sat there with a confused. She wasn’t sure what he meant by her ‘price’, but knowing Malfoy, it probably wasn’t something nice.

“What?” Vespyr asked in an annoyed tone.

Theodore chuckled, “You know, your price for pictures.” He explained.

Vespyr rolled her eyes, putting down her fork and standing up to leave. The group of them started to laugh as Lavender followed her out.

“Don’t worry, boys. I hear she’s pretty cheap anyway.” Pansy remarked, her words being the last thing Vespyr heard before she left the hall.

~

About two days after that, Dumbledore called Vespyr into his office. He’d told her that he’d been made aware of her predicament and was concerned for her.

To say that Vespyr was embarrassed was an understatement. She was appalled and ashamed. She felt humiliated.

Her mentor, her headmaster, had seen those god awful photos of her. The fact that he was aware made it clear that other members of the staff had to know also. Vespyr found herself examining her teachers for any signs that they had. A slight stutter when they spoke to her, a quick aversion of the eyes, lips pressed in a firm line. They all made her wonder irrationally.

Have they seen my photos? Have they seen my body?

It made her feel sick.

“Well, Miss Morgan, I can assure you I will be looking into this and I will get down to the bottom of who is responsible. Until then, I’ll be tasking Professor McGonagall with deciding your punishment.”

Vespyr’s head shot up at his words, “My punishment?”

Dumbledore nodded authoritatively at the young girl. Vespyr was dumbfounded that she was to be punished also. He should have been consoling her, not scolding.

“I’m sorry, Professor,” She shook her head as she fiddled with her fingers, “I can’t imagine why I’m being punished.” She said truthfully.

“It’s you in the photos, is it not?” He tilted his head forward, his old eyes widening slightly.

Vespyr chuckled almost, “Well yes, but— Professor, I-I’m a victim. I’ve done nothing wrong. My only crime is caving to pressure.” She explained.

Dumbledore sighed and stood up. He went to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. Vespyr turned in her chair to follow him. He placed a hand on his hip and looked back at her.

“Miss Morgan, let’s not be deluded. You have a mind of your own and you’ve used it very keenly in the past. You used that independent mind of yours to decide to take those photos of yourself and give them to whomever you did. Does that diminish the seriousness of what has been done to you? No, it does not. But you are responsible for it in a sense. No one can make you do anything against your will.” Dumbledore said.

Vespyr felt a lump rising in her throat. She didn’t care what anyone thought. She didn’t care if she had decided on her own to give those photos to Fred. The fact of the matter was that they were meant for only him. They were given to him, someone she trusted, during a time when she thought they were in love. Yes, she had given him the photos on her own accord, but it didn’t mean the world got to see them as well.

She grabbed her bag and darted for the door. Dumbledore stepped in her way before she could leave. “Now just wait a minute, Miss Morgan.”

“No. You know what? You have no idea what it’s like to be a young girl in a cruel world like this. A world that shames you for showing too little, as well as shaming you for showing too much. A world that tells you that you must give yourself to a man or else you’re a prude, but also tells you that it makes you some kind of whore if you do decide to have sex. You and people like you wanna place the blame on us girls because you know deep down that you enabled this.” She spit at him.

Dumbledore had stepped back from her, his firm expression faltering at her bold language.

“You, Headmaster, have turned a blind eye to the barbaric environment in this school. You’ve allowed the quidditch teams to harass and torment the female population at Hogwarts by your continued dismissal of that list. And now, to feel less guilty about it all, you intend to place blame onto me.” She continued.

Her hands were balled into fists so tight that her fingernails broke the skin on her palm. She could feel the tears brimming her eyes.

Doesn’t anyone have any sympathy for me?

“Miss Morgan, are you trying to tell me that someone on one of the quidditch teams is responsible for this?” He asked her.

She calmed down very fast, Fred’s dimpled smile coming into her mind. Her anger subsided suddenly as she realized that incriminating the quidditch team meant incriminating Fred. And as angry as she was with him, she didn’t want him to get in trouble. She hated that she still loved him enough not to make him pay.

The pounding in her heart stopped and sped up all at the same time. Her fists unclenched, blood trickling down her palm. She wiped away the tears that formed in her eyes. Some of the blood on her hands smeared on her cheek.

“That’s not my point.” She said firmly. Vespyr sighed as she looked at Dumbledore’s minimally concerned face. “Punish me if you must. It’s not like it’s any worse than anything else that’s happened to me.”

~

Luckily, someone in the world did have sympathy for Vespyr.

Professor McGonagall only gave her an extra study hall as her punishment. But honestly, the extra study hall spared Vespyr from seeing her vicious peers, so it wasn’t much of a punishment. It actually was a reward.

“The world is unkind, Vespyr. Someday I hope you’ll remember what I’ve done for you and make it kinder.” McGonagall had said to her.

Vespyr walked into the common room after her study hall at the end of the day. When she did, all eyes were on her. She’d grown used to the stares, the whispers. But she still got a chill when she felt them.

As she walked past Harry, Ron, and Hermione, she heard Hermione whisper something. “Careful, I hear libertinism is catching these days.” She said and Ron snickered.

Vespyr stopped walking. She closed her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath.

She couldn’t let it go on any longer. If she couldn’t defend herself then she had nothing. From the beginning, she resided to ignoring the comments being made about her. But seeing the way Hermione, a girl so intelligent and remarkable, talked about her made her unimaginably angry.

Vespyr turned, “You know, you talk a lot of shit.” She snapped at the other Gryffindor girl.

Hermione wavered slightly. Ron and Harry fell silent along with rest of the room.

Vespyr’s eyes glanced over to Fred, who sat in the corner with George and Lee. His eyes looked sadly upon her, as if he were pleading with her.

Please don’t do this to yourself. His eyes said. Please.

But Vespyr wouldn’t stop.

“Excuse me?” Hermione scoffed.

Vespyr stood her ground, “You heard me, Hermione.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

Hermione’s lips curled into an uncomfortable smirk. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie all quietly laughed as they watched the exchange. And then Ginny stood up.

“Just who do you think you are?” Ginny asked.

“I’m a fucking human being, that’s what I think! And you know what? Yeah, I took those pictures of myself and they got out. You all have made it your job not to let me forget. I’ve been called every name and been the butt of every joke under the sun this past month. And all the time, I’ve had no one but Lavender and Parvati by my side.” She said as she tried not to cry.

She looked at Fred and he looked away from her. He felt guilt course through him as he saw the pain in her expression.

“You all are angry with me but you aren’t at all angry with the person who did this.” Vespyr could feel her emotions coming undone.

Fred could hear it in her voice. It was like he was connected to her. He could feel the ache in her heart as if it were his own. He hated that he was the cause of that ache. He’d rationalized what he did to Vespyr by saying it was to protect Ginny, because it was, but that thought just wasn’t enough anymore as Vespyr stood in front of him broken to bits.

He stood up and walked to Vespyr, “That’s enough, let’s get you upstairs-”

“The person that deceived me with flowery language. That gained my trust only to betray it!” She pushed against his chest harshly and he stumbled backwards.

She turned and faced the other side of the room where the rest of the boys were. “Why is it always us that has to be held responsible for your wrongdoings? How come we’re ridiculed and called whores while you all suffer no consequences. Why does no one every get angry at you for victimizing us?” She sobbed at the empty expressions of Cormac McLaggen and others.

When she turned back, she saw that Hermione was red-faced and had a guilty look in her eyes. Everyone else was eerily silent and stared at Vespyr in shock. The only sound audible was Vespyr’s heavy breathing.

“Vespyr, I-” Hermione tried to speak, but Vespyr’s eyes found Ginny again.

Vespyr charged at the fiery-haired girl, “It would have been you. Had Fred not been there, it would have been you on that stupid list and not me. You should thank me!” She screamed at her and Ginny flinched.

Fred forcefully intervened, grabbing Vespyr by the shoulders and pulling her away from his sister. “Enough.” He said firmly. “I’m taking you back to your dorm.”

Vespyr felt anger and sadness boiling deep within her. She couldn’t decide between the two emotions because both were so strong. As Fred guided her up the steps to her dorm, she felt him pulling him into her chest. She couldn’t resist burying her face in his shirt, and she hated herself for it.

Fred sat her down on the bed and Vespyr couldn’t meet his eyes. “Your pajamas,” He said.

Vespyr shook her head, “What?”

“Um... I forgot where you keep them.” He said softly.

Vespyr felt like vomiting. She couldn’t believe that she had presented herself that way in the common room. She wasn’t the kind of person who told people how she felt so openly. She certainly wasn’t one to hysterically scream and cry in front of people. As if she wasn’t humiliated enough, now she had done this.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “Second drawer down on the left side.” She said softly.

Fred hurriedly went to her drawer and fished out a pair of blue pinstripe pajama pants and a blush pink sweater. He remembered that combination after the first night he made love to her.

He placed the neatly folded pajamas next to her. He noticed how she still looked away from him and he felt his heart sink. Her silky hair shined in the dim light of the dorm room. Dainty fingers fidgeted in her lap nervously as her knee bounced up and down.

Fred could feel the urge to brush her hair away so he could see her. He ached you run his fingers through it like he had done so many times before.

Vespyr could feel his attention on her. She should have wanted him to leave, but she felt comforted by him just being there. Instead of wanting to push him out of the room, she wanted to pull him down in the bed with her.

Finally Fred spoke, “Look, Vess-”

“I know, you’re sorry. You’ve told me.” Vespyr interrupted.

Fred sighed, slightly aggravated that she hadn’t let him speak. He sat down next to her and it took Vespyr by surprise. But she was even more shocked when he took her hands in his.

Oh, how she missed the feeling of his skin on hers.

“No, just listen.” He looked at her but she wouldn’t look at him. His thumb ran across her soft skin, rubbing in the crystal tears that fell onto her hands.

“From the moment I met you all those years ago, I vowed to myself that you would be the only girl I ever loved. And even though I’ve had other lovers and girlfriends before you, I always knew that in the end I would only be with you. Because you’re the only person I ever want for the rest of my life. That night that we first made love, I promised to myself I would never hurt you, and if I did I would work everyday to make it up to you.” He squeezed her hands gently.

Vespyr felt her throat closing up. She never knew that he had loved her all that time. For almost a decade, the two of them had loved each other and didn’t know it. She wished that he had given her a sign that he felt the same way.

“So, that’s what I want to propose to you now. I want to know if you’ll let me make it up to you. Because I love you, Vespyr Morgan. And I’m completely and totally uninterested in living a life without you. And I know that I’m a bloke for what I did, and I’d bet on the fact that I’ll fuck up countless times over. But I promise, if you give me a chance, I will do my best to make sure that it’s me that gets hurt and not you.” He placed a hand on her cheek.

Vespyr felt herself rest into his touch. Her tears pooled in his hand. She tried to resist kissing his palm, but her lips were on his calloused skin before she even realized it.

In all honesty, she wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t know whether to forgive him and kiss him tenderly, or tell him to sod off and slap him. Obviously he wasn’t deserving of her forgiveness. What he did to her was vile and careless. But goodness, she was so in love with him. And when he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes, she felt like she’d been hypnotized.

Her mind was foggy and her heart had found it’s way to her throat. So when she said what she did next, she almost didn’t hear the words fall from her lips.

“I forgive you.” She said.

Fred settled for a moment before she spoke again.

“I forgive you,” She swallowed, “but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” She finished.

Fred’s heart dropped yet again. What had he expected? For her to just easily fall back into his arms after what he’d done? She could never trust him again, obviously. How could she be with someone she didn’t trust?

“I do want you to make it up to me, Fred. I may not forget it, but I’m willing to put behind me. Because I love you too, and as angry as I’ve been with you, being away from you has been agony.” She rested her hand on his neck.

Tears pricked Fred’s eyes. He wasted no time pulling the younger Gryffindor into a kiss. He’d missed the way her lips melded to his and the way she warmed under his touch.

He knew as he kissed her that he would rather die than ever hurt his darling again. She was the most prized thing in the world to him, and he’d be damned if she ever suffered at his hand again.

They pulled away and Vespyr rested her head on his shoulder in a hug. Fred gently rubbed her bag, nestling his nose in her candy-scented hair. The two magical beings relished in the moment.

“I love you, Vespyr. More than anything. And I promise that I’m yours as long as you’d like me to be.” Fred spoke.