The Dark Will Hide

I did EVERYTHING for you to keep you a float. Any more and I would have given the skin off my back. I let you embarrass me, you stole from my family who gave you a home when your own family abandoned you. I helped you and your mom through chemo, gave you countless money, let you say terrible things about me, you held a knife to my throat. It plays over and over again in my head. You took a gun and threatened to shoot yourself. I had to take the gun from you. I gave you my heart and soul cause god I just wanted you to get better. I wanted you to be happy. You said you owed me your life and saved you but what you really meant was you are mine to destroy now. You tried. You tried so hard to destroy me. Thank you for thinking that you giving me the silent treatment would work on me. Cause I already started to hate you before that. I learned how to manipulate you back. But when you were gone I felt peace for the first time in 3 years. When you called again and I felt a fire in me a explosion. No longer afraid. I knew I was done. I never wanted to hear your voice again, see you again. I yelled at you at the top of my lungs I AM DONE with you. It made me feel exhilarated how speechless you were. It gave me pleasure to turn your phone service off that I paid for. I won. I will continue to win. I see all the messages you send me still even a year later as I block every account. I know I left you homeless with nothing. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I am glad you are. Maybe you will finally take care of yourself. You should be locked up. I found out what you did to thos other girls. You disgust me for that. I trusted you, loved you, believed in you. But you did not deserve that. You already know now how much you underestimated me. How if you ever show up here again you won't make it out alive. I WILL NOT BE YOUR VICTIM. I AM A SURVIVOR. The scars you left on my mind may be here but I am not broken. The grave you were digging for me I am out of. You will never put another hand on me again and I hope you don't forget me. The one who tried harder than any one ever had or will try to save you. The one you tried to destroy but couldn't. So you got left with nothing and no one.

I looked the devil in the face and called him love. I saw his dead black heart and thought there were flowers some where in the cracks. Between every word he said to break me I convinced myself I could save him. Every time he put his cold dead hands around my neck I convinced myself it would not be this way forever. I let him put out pieces of my light that burned in my soul. Little by little I was fading away. Until he thought he smothered me . Nothing left but a shell of where a kind, hopeless dreamer once lived. But he did not know he was toying with a fighter and survivor. I took the last speck of light in me and hid it far in the depth of my aching chest. Until one day it was ready to engulf me once more. The fire exploded in my chest. The anger and rage of what I had become, what I let him do to me fueled the flames. Then is when I decided I would never let him talk to me like that again. I would never let him touch me again. I let every memory of him that I thought was love and let the devil appear in front of me. He knew I was no longer his toy to play with and torture. He watched as I let the girl I used to be burn and die with only a scorched skelton now lays in her old ways. No more feelings of false hopes for a false lover. No more taking my softness for weakness. No one would stomp on the flames again without getting burned. Only the ones who will fan the flames will feel the love I have to offer.