vvelcøm tü mein tumblr (now 10% more interesting)

Nina G. Willow makes a much needed return in this composite piece or something, and it's not looking good for her or her sister Veretta Limbola, for you see, their entire history and current existence are now in jeopardy. After removing it from my laptop and inserting the hard drive into my desktop tower (which is what I'm using write now to draw and right this post- English amirite?), I found out the problem was not the fault of my laptop as a whole, but the hard drive itself all along... which is not good, because its failure force-boots into troubleshooting mode, where not even the built-in Windows 10 Automatic Repair Tool isn't able to remedy the situation. I've tried everything but any thing that relates to a restore point, because I've lost all mine with updates, or resetting the PC, because I have no backups of anything, so if I can't transfer the files or get this HDD repaired, my children and every other precious thing around them will cease to be.

Addendum, Sept. 29, 2025. You'll see "hard drive" a number of times in this post, and there's a "HDD" in the previous paragraph. Hard Disk Drives proper are much larger due to using magnetic discs to store data, and the hardware where The "Sistas" resided originally is incorrectly labelled as such on a sticker behind Nina. The square label on the left has "SSD" (Solid State Drive, which has become the modern way of storing data) on it, so needless to say, I feel really silly having told the guy at Micro Center and my father that I super-specially specifically needed an HDD ("-_-) The SSD that I did buy luckily does fit my laptop, but I never replaced the old one for reasons I'll get into for the upcoming post.

I miiight be able to copy files to my ~500gb solid state drive, called "Cyberspace", via Command Prompt—which I can access, thankfully, but a video told me to do that as a last resort, but even then it may not work 100%. I'm already at a low point; I've spent enough months grieving, and I'm afraid taking an L like this may kill me. Or I will. ...Nine years of irreplaceable memories and imagination, all down the drain. I could start from scratch, sure, but much like Nina's World, nothing's quite the same as the first time through... I'll also lose every file's metadata.

^ progress pictures shared with an acquaintance. Anyways, how 'bout that picture, hmm? Took me a little over two hours, but I think I did an okay job. It was my first time trying to draw something 2D in our 3D world in an attempt to merge to the two dimensions, literally. The problem is, Nina can't actually break free, and because of the issues expressed above, she's practically trapped in the hard drive. I exaggerated her plight with contorted limbs and a pained expression. I also opted for a no-outlines-vibrant-solid-colours style, much like a previous animation.

Addendum, Sept. 29, 2025. Veretta was going to be part of the picture with her sister, but I didn't know how to include her, and I can't draw her as well as I can draw Nina since I haven't done much in terms of her design or plot. Veretta's somewhere juuust below the threshold of our world.

Come to think of it, I don't remember what exactly I wanted to be at the time of starting, which was Apr 1. 2020. I remember trying to make a channel intro with an incredibly cringe and horribly recorded message from yours truly. It went something like:

"oH, whAt'S This?? aNothEr AnimAtIon ChaNneL??? that's wROng! ...sAL-U-TAtiONs (voice crack), EvEryonE! mY Name iS 'TheClo4ked1', aNd I'm Here tO SaY weLcoMe to My cHAnnel :)"

I knowww I have that Audacity project file sssoOmewhere on this laptop, but I purposefully went by memory because it sounds worse in my head; therefore it looks better in text, eh? I clearly didn't want to be solely animation, I also love my good ol' fashioned "videos and games", so I thought of a Let's Play; Twitch being the current platform to which I allocate those. ...So back to the animation, it ended a little differently than I'd planned, I think the outcome is probably for the best as I "drafted" this as a true Channel Intro, but that day cannot come just yet. It was gonna feature the audio I mentioned above as a gag spouted by Rags that would get cut off by my higher quality voice coming through a soon-to-be-properly-set-up AT2020-XLR.

^ pictured Rags, Apr. 1, 2020. ~3AM Oh yeah, Rags. I'm remembering that I specifically wanted an avatar, a persona, that had at least a chance to stand out, maybe even an odd one out *knowing smile*, but also something easy to animate. A lanky ragdoll with a button eye and an afro, but he's actually very paper flat, kinda like my man PaRappa (know that noodles rule the world). Looking back, I realize I had ended up another white (as in no digital colouring, not race) YouTube animated avatar, but hey! I changed that in the animation above! My new avatar and my overall colouring style is based on a painting I did about a year back, as well as The X's' character designs.

I made a rule not to use black anywhere, even for shadows or my beloved jacket Vivienne, except when drawing Rags because that's how he was always drawn. Breaking down Rags, he's just two maybe three groups of black lines. The animation itself is much more chopped to compensate for the new look- it would NOT be easy to do this for my usual 24fps, which is why I did this at 12. My avatar and Rags seem to glitch at points... This is intentional. Working, I had frames and things I wanted to keep because they looked cool and important to the development. Not wanting them to go to waste, I snuck them in as inbetweens. There's one entire pencil sketch near the end that's used as an inbetween, but seeing it all together adds a bit of impact after that smear frame. Speaking of...

looks like shit on its own. I had fun making this one, but it's better seen in motion like any other smear frame. Alright, I think I said everything about what's on YouTube. This Tumblr version, the uncut .SWF has an unfinished scenario where Rags is finna get SNAY-ATCHED! This was gonna be where that unused audio was gonna be. Welp, that's everything. See ya. Thanks for reading!

She served as an inspiration for the last roll of film I had done. I have my portfolio (you've seen it above), a binder, and from this experience, I did six rolls of film with a total of... ~180 exposures and over 85 prints from those exposures because I gave some away to peers as what I called "gift prints". The film used to take every single one of these pictures was 35mm Kentmere PAN 400. Like I implied before, I have no nostalgia or prior experience for this kinda stuff, so I can't say "Ah, good ol' Kentmere P400!", but it's said that these rolls are suitable for high-speed, general purpose black-and-white photography. In my experience, these rolls would come with either 24 or 26 exposures. I preferred 24, but when I felt gutsy, 36. Below is a loose compiled list of my counting, and you may notice the exposure numbers are either one over, or exactly the numbers stated above. I don't know how I did that, but I'm glad I had extras.

1st roll, 37 expos, 12 prints plus roll call

2nd roll, 25 expos, 13 prints plus roll call

3rd roll, 37 expos, 26 prints plus roll call

4th roll, 36 expos, 13 prints plus roll call

5th roll, 24 expos, 9 prints plus roll call

6th roll, 24 expos, 13 prints plus roll call

The "roll call", for lack of better term, were prints of all my exposures from one roll lined up on film. I can only share these three pictures because a majority of these prints involve private things, not like pornography, but y'know, I have a lot of portraits of people whose identities will remain anonymous because I respect them. As good as those photos are. There's a fourth that came before this post, of a friend, that's posted not on Tumblr, but on my former-Tumblr extension Instagram page that I won't delete until after August. Anyways, I found my niche in still life compositions and portraits. When I asked people if I could take their photo (and if they consented), I'd ask them to do the thing they were doing before I approached them, like this one of my peer reading in a chair. The "acting natural" look is what's most appealing to me, it shows people's character, even more so complimented with good composition, which I think I got a handle on—love me some Rule-Of-Thirds—and it helps in making the picture feel more realistic. On the rare occasion, I would have someone pose or act for me; few times I'd have to get somebody IN MOTION.

That's enough history and study. The future on the other hand... My great-grandfather's (but we don't call him that) Yashica: very old. After the whole experience in Still Photography, I wanted more, even though I don't have a darkroom or the chemicals to start development. I remembered a camera in our basement, complete with a strap, a case, an attachable flash (I think it's down there somewhere), and a long-ranged zoom lens. After uncovering it, I fiddled around with, snapping imaginary photos since it didn't have film. I was able to get it open by pulling up the hand crank. It was dirty and sticky, apparently so sticky that the shutter mirror got stuck after a few bouts of testing it. Tried as I could, the handle that rolls the film for another exposure was stuck, and even though I could open the camera, I couldn't meddle too much for risk of breaking something was high. I looked up any forums posts and the camera's manual to see if there was any hope, but alas, there was none. OR SO I THOUGHT! I found a camera shop some towns away that also offers camera repairs. It was about an hour of driving, so in early June, I made a plan to go there. I walked up to the guy behind the glass counter, and awkwardly asked if he could help me out. I really wanted the camera fixed for sentimental reasons, but he suggested to just a buy a newer Yashica model; less expensive with more features, like an automatic battery-powered film winder, also by Yashica. It was able to get a "discount" because Granpa's old camera lens was still in good condition, so the lens that came with the new camera was replaced and will go to someone else.

Addendum, Jul. 17, 2024. I've wanted to include the model of my new camera but I was blanking on the name, and I didn't feel like taking it out of its carrying case because there's this one latch that's a hassle to pull off without feeling like I'll break something. This new camera is a Yashica FR II.

That store also came with a roll of, you won't believe it, 35mm Kentmere P400 film, with 24 exposures no less! He seem impressed I knew about it, and this gave me the impression that he must've thought I came to the store because "old and vintage camera for nostalgia I wasn't even a thought at the point in time to exist and enjoy it".

Tangent/Addendum. Jul. 17, 2024: I've said it before: I have no nostalgia for this, I just find this interesting, and grayscale photography appeals to me in the artistic sense that these tones convey a different feeling than in colour. For those history buffs out there, black-and-white and monochromatic photography, like cyanotype, was all they had at the time... Uhh, I could be wrong. I just know that autochrome was invented much later, and the pigments and the starches and things and... Another reason I enjoy film photography is that you get to touch your pictures: the photo negatives on the film rolls. That's your picture in 3D space (sorta). It is not a print, that is your picture in RAW FORM. Well, no, if you just took out your film roll in raw form, it would get burnt by the slightest light and you'd lose all your would-be photos. That's why we have to load our film onto a reel in a pitch-black room, easier said than done by the way, which is then loaded into a canister for chemical processing, i.e. development. So, it's more PROCESSED/RAW FORM than RAW/RAW FORM.

I wasn't offended, I don't remember, and I don't care to remember because we got to talking thereafter, and I recounted the long and boring process I went through just to get the film developed, stopped, fixed, the works; how it would always take about an hour or so. After the business was done, I thanked him and went back to the car. I sat there admiring and getting a handle on my new camera. Meanwhile, nearby, a group of high-schoolers were walking by in fancy outfits. I asked if they were getting ready for graduation, which they were, so I said "Oh, congratulations!" I felt older than I actually was, but in this instance, I was older than them. They are similar to who I was. They're moving on to another chapter in their lives... I decided it was time to go home, so I packed my camera as safe as I could in my backpack, and drove off.

Anyways, I stifled my chuckling when I saw that kind of story cuz I was in a public space at the time of realization. That woman began with the face. I wanted to draw a beautiful American woman straight out the 1950s, but... I got fucking Ursula holding a cigarette instead, somehow. I don't remember if I'd ever fully watched The Little Mermaid in my life, but y'know what I think? I think this character I've drawn looks good! I think the ink brings out this "charm" that I didn't plan. ...I oftentimes don't plan things, and I realize this is both a blessing and a curse :p

I think I was thinking of this one black and white photograph from around the 50s that I studied, I could be wrong, though. That last face that looks afraid her (yes, that is a woman) eyes will get burned by the lit cigarette was... I can't remember if I intended for this to "be" anything. Well, that can be said for just about everything shown. Just stuff off the noggin. Like Marinette up there, I improv', just like the way I improv'd that .GIF; I- I had to make it because... I couldn't... find one already made. Moving on, that face was drawn before the cigarette.I didn't plan on her to look like she's fearing that her corneas will soon feel pain, that's just how I seem to roll. You can probably tell it was an afterthought by the way I drew the arm. It's less detailed relative to everything else. The hand is probably a bit off, too. Listen, I did manage to get a Faster Stronger Better Gaben- I mean a new computer with TONS more space. Now that I have a clean slate, I have to consider things about my very important files left on my old computer. Many source files I have there are tied to projects and animations, so I'm not sure how I should go about transferring them, if I should at all. Because of this dilemma, I'll have to switch from my new computer to my old laptop for certain things for now. Something left back there that I'm worried about is PROJECT NINA's pilot animation. My end-goal was just to write her story. Then I wanted to turn it into an animated series. Now, it will ultimately become a videogame to combine all the skills I've acquired in life; these skills being art and music, and computer science. Voice acting, however...