fitzchivalry "no homo" farseer

fitz: either gets absolutely flustered around the person he's crushing on or hides it extremely well. however he always slips up a bit, sometimes subtly, sometimes very noticeably. he always denies having a crush even if somebody literally has STACKS of evidence that he does. though if one looked carefully, they'd find him staring after a certain person or blush and look away if they said anything slightly amusing or acknowledged him.

the fool: hides it well but always gives hints about who he likes. the person he likes, however, is completely oblivious to these hints. (looking at a certain farseer) the fool would always tease whom ever he crushed on and compliment them, whether sincerely or mockingly. however, if said crush ever returned a compliment or touched him casually in a way that slightly surpasses a friendly touch, the fool would literally be incapable of normal thought and movement, literally gushing over his crush just for saying something nice to him or touching him

bee: she has no idea how to deal with her crush. she'd keep it a secret for some time before "accidentally" leaving a note for the person, saying that she liked them, but would never sign it. she gets flustered easily around her crush. she hates herself for even having a crush sometimes because she believes that there is no point in having one since none would love her for her pale colouring.

kettricken: she would be very forward about it. she'd wait for a time before telling said crush that she was interested in them and would wait for their response. she never minded if the person rejected them. she never let rejections hold her down.

chade: he thinks crushes are foolish and would try to rid his feelings for said crush. he believes that they would only distract him from his work as assassin and advisor. he'd distance himself from whom ever he was interested in.

fitz: heavy sleeper. like, super heavy. nothing can wake him up. also cuddles his pillows and always kicks away the blanket. sleeps in his smallclothes. sometimes he sleepwalks. it freaks everybody out because they dont know what he'll do when he sleepwalks.

the fool: sleeps like he's in a renaissance painting. so graceful. a very light sleeper and early bird. it could be 6 in the morning and he's awake and fully dressed drinking tea. sometimes he sleeps late but that's rare.

bee: light sleeper. goes bed late, wakes up randomly. literally no sleep schedule. she sleeps in pyjamas.

kettricken: strict sleep schedule. goes bed early, gets up early. not as early as the fool though. used to snore. nobody talks about that.

chade: no sleep apart from random naps.

dutiful: wakes up at a reasonable time. bouncy bed. jumps on his bed for a full half an hour before going to sleep. kettricken keeps telling him to stop doing that. he doesnt stop doing it.

molly: early bird. will snatch your blankets in her sleep. she snores a bit. nobody tells her that she does. literally spreads herself on the bed like a starfish.

fitz: pan pipes and the lute. sometimes he'd play the lyre or violin if he's feeling creative. other than that, he doesn't have much luck playing other instruments

the fool: violin and the harp. classy all the way. sometimes he'd play the violin for fitz whenever the evenings got quiet.

bee: flute. she absolutely loves playing this instrument, though sometimes she might try out fitz's pan pipes.

kettricken: piano. she loves her piano. also tried teaching dutiful how to play it but frankly he was terrible at remembering the keys to a tune and so she never taught him again afterwards.

dutiful: harmonica. this is the only instrument he's decent at though he'd really like to learn how to play a piccolo

chade: doesnt often play instruments because he's usually busy with six duchies affairs and stuff but when he has free time he plays the lyre.

molly: clarinet or any other woodwind instrument. she favours them though fitz has tried to teach her string instruments.

meanwhile in withywoods:

fitz: YEET

bee: YEET

fitz: SKRRT

bee: YEET

fitz: YEET

bee: SKRRT

fitz: SKRRT

bee: SKRRT

fitz: ROLL UP

bee: YEET

fitz: DROP THAT

bee: YEET

fitz: SKRRT THAT

bee: YEET

kettricken: kettricken would be really supportive to fitz when coming out and would be pretty bitchy to anybody who talked shit about him for it. she'd also attempt at normalizing gay relationships in the six duchies.

the fool: he'd probably tease fitz about it first like, "oh, but i thought you said love like that was reserved between men and women only, right?" but overall he would be extremely supportive about it and would help fitz when he came out to the others.

bee: she found out by overhearing kettricken talk about it and one day she just walked into fitz's study and told him that she thought no less of him if he was attracted to men. she was really formal about it but that's just the way she is. she'd watch how the fool and fitz interact with each other after though.

chade: he'd be a bit sketchy about it at first but in the end he'd love fitz just the same though they never spoke about his sexuality afterwards.

molly: a bit grossed out about it at the start, unfortunately, but in the end she accepted that being bi is a part of him and that it shouldn't affect their relationship though whenever they walked past a guy she'd glare at fitz if he even glanced in the other's direction.

patience: she'd completely ignore him for like a minute or two before she'd realised that he spoke and goes," and you're only figuring that out now? tom, i knew you were bisexual years back. now, help me with these pots." overall she'd be supportive of it

burrich: wouldnt talk to fitz for days. after a time they'd begin talking again but always skirted around the sexuality topic. burrich's reaction hurt fitz quite a bit.

dutiful: he'd be a bit awkward about it at first and whenever they walked together and saw some people passing by dutiful would go "he's handsome. shes beautiful too, right?" and he'd just peer into fitz's face to watch his reaction. this would make fitz blush a lot and he'd always hurry past whomever was there

nettle: she'd just be shocked. no words. literally nothing. fitz is a bit concerned. afterwards she was okay about it.

thick: he'd just nod and go" ok, can i have the cake now?" "this has nothing to do with cake, thick" "i dont care. cake, now."

regal: fitz didnt even want him to know about it, it just spread. regal would call him slurs because of it: "oh hey there [insert]" "disgusting [insert]" he literally broke fitz's morale. so many people got pissed about this. kettricken, patience and verity very nearly threw hands.

verity: he was super supportive about it and literally hugged fitz when he came out. sometimes he'd joke around and ask fitz what he thought of the stablemen his age or what he thought of the fool. fitz would literally turn into a tomato because of this.

fitz: well, when a man and woman love each other very much–

fitz: and a man also loves his best forever friend very much, enough to defy fate itself to bring him back from the dead

fitz: and one of the side effects of that is soul merging

fitz: ecstatically

fitz: and there's also a wolf ghost–