What Did I Tell Ya?
Benji balanced himself at the top of the ladder, making sure to keep hit footing on him. The paint-can hung from the side. Benji wiped some sweat off his forehead and dipped his semi-soaked brush in, continuing to paint the paneling of the house. As much as Benji preferred sitting at a desk doing the boring paperwork part of owning his own painting company, every once in a while, he would take the time to get out and get his hands dirty. Not only was it good to show his face to his clients and build connections but he also wanted his employees to know that he wasnât above doing the work, too. They were a team and Benji did everything in his power to show he cared.
*Cough* âHowâs it looking, boss?â Came a voice from below. Benji rolled his eyes. THIS particular occasion was different. Benji expected to be chained to his desk today, taking care of emails and processing requests for additional work. Instead, he was taking care of the job he had given to his employee, Chance, that should have been done two days prior.
Chance is not exactly someone Benji would have hired. As he is the brother of Benjiâs best friend, Denny, Benji decided to hire him as a solid. Denny had hoped having a stable job would help inspire Chance to do more than the bare minimum (in this case, living with Denny rent free). Five months in, though, inspiration hadnât seemed to strike Chance. Still, Benji kept him on board. He liked Chance, and usually he wasnât in the way so it didnât bother him much. In this case, though, they were getting backed up with work and Benji felt this was the time to get Chance to handle some actual duties. He should have known heâd be the one doing it.
âIt would be looking better if you were up here working and I was the one supervising from the ground,â Benji said, not looking down at him.
âItâs my lunch time, I gotta eat or Iâll pass out,â Chance said, taking a bite of his sandwich followed by a swig of his beer.
âYouâve been on lunch since you âstartedâ your shift,â Benji said, coolly.
âSay what now?â Chance said up, not hearing Benji fully. Benji had to be at least 20 feet up. Between that and Benjiâs radio blasting, they were having to get pretty loud to hear each other.
âNothing, nothing,â Benji yelled, with a sigh. He looked down to see Chance standing there, backpack on with a sandwich in one hand and an open beer can in the other. âHow many times have I told you about not drinking on job sites??â
âUh⌠UURPâŚI forget,â Chance said, rubbing his stomach with the side of his hand. His beer belly has grown over the years, now constantly peaking out from his shirt. It had gotten to the point where Chance didnât even try to hide it. He just continued eating and drinking himself out of a wardrobe.
âOne of these days, that beer belly is going to get you into some serious trouble. Iâd bet money on it,â Benji said, turning back to painting.
âYeah, whatever. This is a chick magnet,â Chance bucked his hips some, letting his belly bounce, the beer and sandwich inside sloshing around. âYou should get one!â
âIâll get right on that,â Benji said, the sarcasm impossible to miss. âListen, this paint can is pretty much empty. Thereâs another on the ground over there. Grab it and pass it up.â Benji pointed to the can next to the ladder.
âCome on, boss, Iâm eating!â Chance took another bite.
âWell, hurry it up! Iâd like to get this done before the day is up and at this rate, it ainât looking good!â Benji yelled down. Chance groaned but did his best to shove the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and chewed. After he was able to swallow, he chugged his beer, rubbing his belly more as it bloated out some. Chance crushed the can, threw it in a nearby trash, and walked up to pick the paint can up.
âAlright, here you â oof!â Chance said as he turned to head up the ladder and hand Benji the paint can when his belly collided with the ladder.
âOh, shit!â Benji yelled out as he knocked over the empty paint can, it hitting Chance on the head and causing him to stumble back. Benji tried to stabilize himself, but the ladder was rocking too much and he slipped. He fell down, ending up unconscious.
Twenty minutes later, Benji started to stir. He slowly blinked his eyes, the brightness of the sun hitting hard. He rolled his head back and forth some, groaning.
âWhat happenedâŚ?â Benji slowly said, trying to remember where he was at. At the moment, he was laying flat on his back. As his eyes adjusted, he noted his view was partially blocked by something tan. He tilted his head down and saw what looked like a giant, hairy bean bag sitting on his torso.
âThe hell?â Benji said as he tried to move it off of him, but as he touched it, he froze. âTheâŚhellâŚâŚ?â He muttered. He placed his hand on it and realizedâŚit was him. He poked it. It felt incredibly firm, barely indenting where his finger made contact. âHow?â Benji was at a loss for words. Then, it moved. Benji removed his hand, trying to jump back but going nowhere.
âUh, hello?â Benji asked. He immediately thought to himself that he sounded crazy. He imagined it, right? But he also felt it. There was no way it was a trick of the light. It moved again, more forcefully. Whatever was inside him wanted out. Then he heard muffled shouts. He leaned forward some, trying to hear, but not making out much. A vibration was coming from his pocket. He tilted himself, just enough to get better access. He shoved his hand under the curvature of his belly, feeling the weight of it as he tugged his phone out. Looking at the caller ID, it was Chance. He answered
âHello? Chance?â Benji said with a sense of uncertainty in his voice.
âBOSS! Finally! Iâve been trying to reach you nonstop!â Chance said in a panicked voice.
âWhatâs going on? Where are you?â Benji asked, looking around, though realizing his engorged stomach took up the majority of his view.
âDude, Iâm INSIDE you! You ATE me when you fell!â Chance sounded hysterical. Benji shook his head, positive that he didnât hear Chance correctly.
âWait, what? Youâre not making any sense,â Benji said. He felt his heart starting to beat faster.
âBenji, YOU. ATE. ME. Look!â Chance said. He hung up and recalled Benji with FaceTime. Benji answered, and saw Chanceâs illuminated face staring back, looking panicked. âSee??â Chance said, trying to zoom out. Benji squinted and looked closer. Chance looked somewhat soaked, though Benji wasnât sure if he was just sweaty. Behind Chance looked like some kind of spongey wall all around him.
âChance, I donât know what Iâm looking at,â Benji said, rolling his eyes. âIs this some elaborate prank to get out of doing any work today?â
âShit, boss, Iâm not making this up!â Chance balled up a fist and punched the wall above him. Benji let out a loud âURGHâ and clutched his stomach with his free hand.
âFuck!â Benji said, wanting to massage the spot that was punched but not able to reach it.
âBelieve me now?!â Chance asked.
âUhâŚâ Benjiâs brain was trying to play catch-up. He looked at his gut, poking it again. âSoâŚthis is really you?â
âYes!! You gotta get me out!â Chance sounded somewhat relieved. Now they could fix this awful mess. Benji looked at him on the phone, looked at his stomach, andâŚhe laughed. Hard. Chance felt himself get tossed around as Benjiâs stomach jostled from his laughter. It made Chanceâs own stomach slosh loudly, still bloated from his lunch. âWhatâs so funny?!â
âAre you kidding?! This fucking travesty!â Benji said, slapping his belly. âIf there is a God out there, they could a wild sense of humor. Oh manâŚâ
âBoss, youâre sounding crazy. We gotta get me out!â Chance said, trying to stabilize after Benjiâs laughing fit.
âAnd how do you suggest that?â
âI donât know! Thereâs gotta be a way!â Chance was so concerned with getting out that he never considered how.
âSounds like you need to come up with what to do. After all, itâs your fault youâre in there.â
âWhat?! How?!â
âWell, from what I remember, you knocked the ladder which made me fall, yeah? What did I tell ya? That belly was gonna get you in trouble.â Benji smirked at him.
âBoss, thatâs not fairâŚâ
âHey, look at the bright side! You told me to get a beer belly and boy do I have one now!â Benji bucked his hips, watching the globe bounce. Chance hit the top of the belly cage, groaning as he did. It also ended up knocking a massive burp from Chance as all the gas inside his own gut bubbled over.
UUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAPP! Chance clutched his beer belly, feeling it still bubble.
âOh, now thatâs gross,â Benji said. He felt his stomach immediately expand some from the gas.
âNot my faultâŚâ
âChance, this is ALL your fault. And now I gotta go about my day one full grown man heavier,â Benji said, rolling his eyes. With that, Benji put his phone in his shirt pocket and started to push himself up. âOh, uhâŚsorry about this.â Benji clutched his stomach muscles as best he could to focus on his legs being able to problem him up.
âBoss!!! Ugh,â Chance let out as his world got much tighter.
âSaid I was sorry,â Benji said, straining. He was struggling somewhat to stand but kept pushing himself. With enough effort, he finally got back up, standing upright. He gut stood out way ahead of him, and it was tight. Too tight. Banjo wanted to give himself relief but thenâŚ
âShitâŚâ Benji said, trying to get his hands under his stomach.
âWhat??â Chance asked. Benji had stopped flexing so Chance felt the stomach open some. It was wild to think such a cramped space could get even more cramped.
âThanks to you, my stomach has blown up in all directions and now I canât reach my belt. I wanted to take it off but looks like Iâm stuck.â
âFuck, thatâs the least of our issues right now!â Chance said, exasperated.
âYa know, youâre right. I need to get someone to finish this job since thereâs no way I can. Gotta make a few calls. Behave in there!â Benji said, giving Chance a wave and hanging up as Chanceâs face gave a shocked expression. Immediately, Chance started throwing a fit inside Benjiâs gut, causing it to bounce around. Chanceâs muffled voice could be heard, though no words could be understood. Benji responded by flexing his muscles, forcing Chance down into a ball again.
âAtta boy,â Benji said. He relaxed his muscles and was glad that Chance got the hint and stopped fighting. Benji dialed another employee and waited for him to respond. After a couple rings, he finally picked up.
âHey, Boss.â
âHey, Mike. Need a favor. Iâm not feeling well and really need this job finished up today. Could you come take care of it for me?â
âSure, boss. You ok?â Mike asked.
âYeah, Iâll be fine. I just ate something thatâs not agreeing with me,â Benji said, fingers drumming on the belly shelf.
âOh man, been there. Had some bad pork sausage with breakfast the other day. Practically slept next to the toilet. Iâll be done here in the next half hour and then head over,â Mike said.
âThanks, appreciate it. Grab Rodney if heâs free, too. And Iâll pay you guys extra for taking care of it.
âOn it! Feel better, boss!â Mike said, hanging up.
âPerfect. And nowâŚâ Benji dialed the next number and waited. The line picked up.
âWhat did he do now?â Came Dennyâs voice came through.
âYou wouldnât believe me if I told you. You need to see in person. If I send the address, can you come pick me up?â Benji asked.
âUh, sure, but donât you have your car? And whatâs this gotta do with Chance?â Denny asked. Benjiâs stomach rumbled. Am I hungry, or was that Chance? Benji thought to himself.
âHard to explain. Better if youâre here,â Benji said.
âAlright, let me finish up this email and Iâll head over. I know Iâm gonna have to give Chance a good smack to the back of the head. Make sure he doesnât try to bail,â Denny said.
âOh donât worry, I got him confined for now,â Benji said, smiling to himself.
âI donât know what that means but Iâll take your word for it. See you soon,â Denny said as he hung up.
âAnd now we wait. Hope youâre enjoying yourself in there,â Benji said to his belly. He was surprisingly taking this better than one would expect, but honestly, if this is what was needed for Chance to get his head on straight, it would be worth it.
It is a shame it came at the expense of his waistline, though.
















