i genuinely hope this doesn't come off as confrontational or patronizing. i realize you're probably going to ignore this message, too, and i realize there's no point in arguing. i hope i can get you to think your behaviour through a little further is all. i don't think any one should fake a disorder either. i certainly don't think they should be doing it for internet Special Snowflake points or whatever the narrative is around "endos". but who the hell gets to decide if theyre pretending? are you basing this on the psych model? are you excluding everyone without memory partitions? did you change your mind on that when osdd was added to the dsm, or are you old guard? are you under the impression that psychiatry has a full, clear picture of identity disorders? if you're not using the psych model, what model are you using? gut reactions? if someone seems too comfortable with being plural, talks about it too loudly or in a way you find annoying, is that where you draw the line? or do they have to submit a writeup of their trauma to your diagnostic board? wht's your stance on integration? i know there's lots of people out there who are of the position that the only goal of treating this disorder should be full integration, and that it's impossible to live a full, happy, healthy life with alters. these are real, genuine questions. what of the overlap of autism and schizo? who the hell gets to decide if an experience of plurality is real or definable enough to deserve alienation? i swear to god, i mean this from the bottom of my heart, if you're not a psych bootlicker, if you understand the importance of giving people the grace to define themselves, if you understand all the reasons why you wouldn't want to put your age or identifiers or traumatic backstory on the internet, why in the world is this your sticking point? that there's one, clearly obviously identifiable threshold which makes a person traumatized enough to feel the way they feel? that there's one completely objective way to know if someone is "faking", for fun or clout or anything else?
the whole discussion has lost the plot. it just reeks of enshrining trauma and suffering as the sole focal point of identity. anti-endos and pro-endos both can't wait to jump at each other throats with no regard for the wealth of experiences that could connect them. Internal family systems, dbt, emdr, all of these philosophies and techniques are powerful tools for healing, but you know? people engaging in syscourse (or whatever) don't really seem to be all that worried about healing, or understanding themselves, or giving themselves and others patience and compassion. they just want to be part of the club that makes them special, special enough to finally deserve validation, attention, connection. the fun secret here is that they already do and always have.
i finally started healing when i gave up on determining whether or not i was damaged and suffering enough to deserve help. when i gave up on trying to find (and then submit to) tenuous outside validation and started seriously listening to the hurt parts of myself and taking care of them instead of letting their neuroses control me.
i get it hurts to see other people seemingly make light, romanticize, or flaunt something that seriously hurts you, or that exists because you've been seriously hurt. to use it for attention or sympathy or a reason to argue. but trying to construct a framework placing you as an arbitor of who gets to feel what or access what resources or describe their experiences in certain ways is just not it. it's tempting to chase that validation from so-called emperic sources, but the way forward is establishing security within yourself, and you're gonna have a hard time doing that if you're always ready to call somebody else a faker.
Anyway. again, not trying to proselytize. hopefully sharing a sentiment i could have benefitted from seven or so years ago. hope you have a nice day
Hey so I've kept this in my inbox since our conversation and you sent this in, and I thought I should finally answer it after staring at it a bunch.
So guess what? By pure coincidence, and the natural growing of life, I'm an endo supporter now. I have alters with different origins, and a good chunk are willowgenic. So, thought you deserved an update! Hope you're well and this reaches you at a good time dude
stormborns
dailybridgerton
snowghoul
gummygunk
