The Bathrooms of America

Reluctant father changing a baby or kidnapper lazily stealing a child?

Does a bear shit in the woods? No, it shits in style.

You face away from the toilet when you use the urinal, you know... because eye contact would be weird. 

“They got jack shit, bull shit, horse shit, shit snacks, shit on a shingle...”

Sex ed changed a lot since I was in school

“Nah bro, I’M getting the fancy seat, you take the normal one”

“You can suck my dick if you think you’re getting the fancy seat”

“We a floor that’s just as fancy as our marble sinks.”

“What about a recycled Steak ‘N Shake floor?”

“That’s fucking genius, Johnson.”