Chastity, Modesty, Abstinence, Clemency

the protector 

“Of course I killed them. they hurt you.”

“They made you cry…? Where are they?”

“Don’t feel sorry for them, they deserved it.”

“Don’t worry, they won’t be bothering you, again.”

“These bruises are worth it to make sure you’re safe.”

“Why would you want to protect them? They hurt you.”

“Who did this to you? No, don’t lie to me… who did this?”

“If they even step foot near you, again, I’ll take care of it…”

“No, they don’t deserve any mercy. Not after they hurt you.”

“I swear to god, I’m going to rip him/her/them apart for this.”

“Stop? Why? Don’t you want them to pay for what they did to you?”

the protected 

“Make them hurt for this… please.”

“Stop! Stop, don’t hurt him/her/them!”

“There. That’s the one who did this to me.”

“Violence doesn’t solve anything, just let this be.”

“They made me bleed. Maybe you should return the favor.”

“I don’t want them dead, I just want them to leave me alone.”

“Why did you do this? Why…? I never asked you to fight them.”

“No, I don’t want you to fight them for me. It’s not that big a deal.”

“I don’t care what you do to them, just keep them away from me.”

"Credence?"

They'd been closer once, back when they'd been small, but as they'd grown, they'd drifted apart. As she'd gotten older, Chastity had clung more and more to the image of their mother, doing her best to imitate it in the hope of reducing the risk of punishment. It seemed to work, most of the time. But Mama was away, doing something important that she hadn't shared, and entrusting them to run the place for the short while.

Except this morning, she'd woken up in a sweat yet shivering, and even where she stood, her face was pale and clammy. Usually she didn't get too sick, but this time she felt awful, and even with the distance in their relationship, there was always some comfort from her older brother.

Ma was away and he felt that bit of hope. He could be safe for now, away from lashings and beatings. Was it wicked of him to be happy she left them alone? It probably was. 

He can be in his room and talk to his friend, the little dark friend that loved talking to him, loved hearing about his day, his sisters, everything. 

The morning came and he barely slept as always, taking his time to scare the pigeons away with clapping as well as the little shadow hissing at them that gave them reason not to return to this awful and cold place.

And it didn’t take any experience to notice Chastity looked sick. And he was close to her in seconds and checking her forehead with growing concern. She was very warm against his hand that was cold and scarred. “You need to be in bed.” His voice was as quiet as a mouse while also full of worry. 

They barely had enough food to eat, much less enough to help her regain her health. “We can cancel the meetings today.” He suggested even though he was more than ready to cancel even if she said no. Her health mattered more than risking getting sicker from God knows what this was.

Credence’s hand felt blissfully cool against her forehead, and she couldn’t quite help but lean into it, both for its temperature and for the gentle touch. Their mother was far from a considerate nurse should any of them fall ill, usually leaving them to recover by themselves in their rooms, if she even allowed that sometimes. Credence would look after her though, she knew.

Part of her wanted to protest against cancelling the meetings. Ma had entrusted her with them, had put faith in her to be able to run them, and likely would not be pleased to return and find they had not taken place. But in truth she wasn’t even sure if she had the strength to remain standing for much longer, never mind lead several meetings throughout the day. So instead she managed a weak nod.

"My momma, your momma..."

Modesty paused in her game, looking up as Credence returned inside. It had been little over a year since she'd been brought under the care, if it could be called that, of Mary Lou Barebone, and while she still couldn't say she liked it very much, she had decided that if nothing else, Credence was her brother. Credence was nice to her, helped show her things, and she knew he'd taken the blame for something she'd done on more than one occasion.

Blasphemous and wicked child was Credence, but he was slowly learning more about the magic from Mr. Graves and Porpentina Goldstein who thought had oblivated him, but it didn’t take fully.

He lit up some and even smiled slightly, “I am grateful, thank you, Modesty!”

Credence though, she knew, did not have such luck. She’d seen the way Mary Lou took his belt to him, how he never protested, and it made her angry. Hiding away the bowl of stew had been easy, and she pulled it from its hiding place and presented it with a grin, lighting up at the sight of her brother’s smile.

Chastity often felt like she lived her life on a wire- lean too much in either direction and she might fall. Every decision had to be carefully weighed up, the potential consequences evaluated, the risk judged. The slightest slip could spell disaster, and if she wasn’t careful, who knew what might happen. There was comfort in the familiar, even if that familiar meant repeating their mother’s rhetoric, passing out pamphlets until her fingers were numb, turning her eyes away when Credence’s belt was passed across. Survival was the goal, after all, more than anything else. There was benefit to being the golden child, of course, but also fear, fear of slipping out of that favour and what might occur if that happened.

Tears budded in her eyes as she crossed the distance between them, tucking herself into his side. Even with the way Credence tended to stoop, it wasn’t difficult, given how much shorter she was, and even her short arms could look around his skinny waist. She took a moment then, just pressing her face into his shoulder, to compose herself, shakily drawing a deep breath with the comfort of her big brother.

“Mama…Mama saw me talking with Matthew. She wasn’t pleased,” she said softly. Matthew was…no, had been, one of the newer members of their congregation so to speak, a year or two older than herself. Handsome and charming, Chastity had been unable to stop herself from harbouring a little crush.

“Matthew seems like a nice boy…”  Credence commented. But ‘nice’ wasn’t really good enough for Mary Lou; she had very traditional, very strict ideas on dating. Casual dating was not for her children as that was just asking for temptation. When dating, the end goal should be marriage. Credence didn’t even dare to look at unrelated women his own age in fear of being accused of gawking at them; accused and punished for having unclean thoughts.

 He tightened his arm around his little sister’s shoulders, giving her a comforting squeeze as she confided in him.  “Perhaps… if he started coming to our NSPS meetings too, Mama might start to open up to the idea of you talking to him. That and our day of observation on Saturdays. Show her that he’s righteous.”  But that was still a hard maybe. The littlest detail of someone could lead Mary Lou into thinking they were no good. Perhaps he’d show up to church with his hair slightly too untidy, or his shirt untucked. One time Credence had simply yawned during service and he had gotten a whipping as soon as the family was alone once more for being  ‘ so disrespectful ’.

It had been the first time Chastity had ever even dared to look at a boy. After all, their mother had always made it perfectly clear that the only purpose for such a thing was marriage, that there was no other reason for a young woman to be looking at a man, or vice versa. And Mary Lou Barebone had never married, had impressed on her daughter time and time again not to be so sinful. And she had tried her best, she really had, had obediently averted her eyes, refused to let thoughts of boys cloud her mind.

And then one morning, not too long ago, she'd happened to look up, and she'd caught him staring at her with a smile. It had brought a tinge of colour to her cheeks, unused to being looked at in such a manner. Most boys, she had found, didn't seem to pay much attention to her, which in a way had been a blessing due to their mother, but sometimes she'd wondered what it might be like to be like other girls her age. Only the best would satisfy their mother.

Chastity was, by definition, the golden child. The one who followed the rules, who rarely upset their mother and in turn, received punishment the least out of all of them. It was her way of surviving, to try to be the double of Mary Lou Barebone, so that she might escape her harsh hand. But that didn’t mean that she always followed the rules.

It was the closest thing he’d ever had to freedom.

Credence never slept much, he’d always been so highly strung with nerves, and in the quiet of night the darkness had a habit of whispering to him. Which was why waiting up for his sister was not a difficult task, despite the late hour.

That, and the fact that despite their relationship becoming increasingly distant with age… He was starting to get worried as time went by. Where could Chastity of all people be?

“I…”

Spots of colour flushed high on her cheeks, shoes now tucked under her arm as her hands wrung together nervously. Even though she knew their mother was out, she still couldn’t help but feel that at any moment she might loom out of the shadows with a face of stone and a tongue of ice. Would Credence tell her? She didn’t think he would, but if Ma pressured him…

He had before. And she had told on him before too, when they were children, because even the threat of eternal damnation was not quite as scary as Ma looming over them, as all-knowing and judging as the Lord himself and twice as punishing.

He still felt guilty for having told on her at times. Yes, he was only a frightened child, he’d never judge either of his sisters for making the same mistake, but he was the eldest, it was his job to protect the girls. 

The relief was clear in the release of tension, the way her shoulders slumped and she finally let go of the breath that she’d been holding. If Ma found out about this…well, Chastity couldn’t imagine that she would be happy. Sure, Edward sometimes came to their meetings, but she doubted that would be enough to gain the approval of Mary Lou Barebone.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to ask again. After all, the idea of Chastity sneaking out was strange, it was so unlike her. She was the one who never put a foot wrong, the perfect child, always so devout and smiling. She made it all look so easy, he wished he could be like her.

What could possibly have made her do something so disobedient? Even in Ma’s absence? 

“I…”

Biting her lip, Chastity swallowed past the lump in her throat, hugging her shoes to her chest before she moved to sit down on one of the benches, briefly glancing towards her brother before instead finding some of the cracks in the floorboards considerably more interesting.

He took a silent, deep breath, absently scratching at a half-healed scar upon his palm. His thoughts were racing with anxiety over an assumption. He needed to be calm.

Tears budded in her eyes, and she hugged her shoes tighter, jaw tight. She was all too aware of the risk, would never have dared to go if Ma had been home. And perhaps it was stupid to have gone even now, to give any sort of illusion that such a thing might be possible, but she'd just...she'd just wanted.

Chastity was, by definition, the golden child. The one who followed the rules, who rarely upset their mother and in turn, received punishment the least out of all of them. It was her way of surviving, to try to be the double of Mary Lou Barebone, so that she might escape her harsh hand. But that didn’t mean that she always followed the rules.

It was the closest thing he’d ever had to freedom.

Credence never slept much, he’d always been so highly strung with nerves, and in the quiet of night the darkness had a habit of whispering to him. Which was why waiting up for his sister was not a difficult task, despite the late hour.

That, and the fact that despite their relationship becoming increasingly distant with age… He was starting to get worried as time went by. Where could Chastity of all people be?

“I…”

Spots of colour flushed high on her cheeks, shoes now tucked under her arm as her hands wrung together nervously. Even though she knew their mother was out, she still couldn’t help but feel that at any moment she might loom out of the shadows with a face of stone and a tongue of ice. Would Credence tell her? She didn’t think he would, but if Ma pressured him…

He had before. And she had told on him before too, when they were children, because even the threat of eternal damnation was not quite as scary as Ma looming over them, as all-knowing and judging as the Lord himself and twice as punishing.

He still felt guilty for having told on her at times. Yes, he was only a frightened child, he’d never judge either of his sisters for making the same mistake, but he was the eldest, it was his job to protect the girls. 

The relief was clear in the release of tension, the way her shoulders slumped and she finally let go of the breath that she’d been holding. If Ma found out about this…well, Chastity couldn’t imagine that she would be happy. Sure, Edward sometimes came to their meetings, but she doubted that would be enough to gain the approval of Mary Lou Barebone.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to ask again. After all, the idea of Chastity sneaking out was strange, it was so unlike her. She was the one who never put a foot wrong, the perfect child, always so devout and smiling. She made it all look so easy, he wished he could be like her.

What could possibly have made her do something so disobedient? Even in Ma’s absence? 

“I…”

Biting her lip, Chastity swallowed past the lump in her throat, hugging her shoes to her chest before she moved to sit down on one of the benches, briefly glancing towards her brother before instead finding some of the cracks in the floorboards considerably more interesting.

He took a silent, deep breath, absently scratching at a half-healed scar upon his palm. His thoughts were racing with anxiety over an assumption. He needed to be calm.

Chastity was, by definition, the golden child. The one who followed the rules, who rarely upset their mother and in turn, received punishment the least out of all of them. It was her way of surviving, to try to be the double of Mary Lou Barebone, so that she might escape her harsh hand. But that didn’t mean that she always followed the rules.

It was the closest thing he’d ever had to freedom.

Credence never slept much, he’d always been so highly strung with nerves, and in the quiet of night the darkness had a habit of whispering to him. Which was why waiting up for his sister was not a difficult task, despite the late hour.

That, and the fact that despite their relationship becoming increasingly distant with age… He was starting to get worried as time went by. Where could Chastity of all people be?

“I…”

Spots of colour flushed high on her cheeks, shoes now tucked under her arm as her hands wrung together nervously. Even though she knew their mother was out, she still couldn’t help but feel that at any moment she might loom out of the shadows with a face of stone and a tongue of ice. Would Credence tell her? She didn’t think he would, but if Ma pressured him…

He had before. And she had told on him before too, when they were children, because even the threat of eternal damnation was not quite as scary as Ma looming over them, as all-knowing and judging as the Lord himself and twice as punishing.

He still felt guilty for having told on her at times. Yes, he was only a frightened child, he’d never judge either of his sisters for making the same mistake, but he was the eldest, it was his job to protect the girls. 

The relief was clear in the release of tension, the way her shoulders slumped and she finally let go of the breath that she’d been holding. If Ma found out about this…well, Chastity couldn’t imagine that she would be happy. Sure, Edward sometimes came to their meetings, but she doubted that would be enough to gain the approval of Mary Lou Barebone.

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to ask again. After all, the idea of Chastity sneaking out was strange, it was so unlike her. She was the one who never put a foot wrong, the perfect child, always so devout and smiling. She made it all look so easy, he wished he could be like her.

What could possibly have made her do something so disobedient? Even in Ma’s absence? 

"I..."

Biting her lip, Chastity swallowed past the lump in her throat, hugging her shoes to her chest before she moved to sit down on one of the benches, briefly glancing towards her brother before instead finding some of the cracks in the floorboards considerably more interesting.

Chastity was, by definition, the golden child. The one who followed the rules, who rarely upset their mother and in turn, received punishment the least out of all of them. It was her way of surviving, to try to be the double of Mary Lou Barebone, so that she might escape her harsh hand. But that didn’t mean that she always followed the rules.

It was the closest thing he’d ever had to freedom.

Credence never slept much, he’d always been so highly strung with nerves, and in the quiet of night the darkness had a habit of whispering to him. Which was why waiting up for his sister was not a difficult task, despite the late hour.

That, and the fact that despite their relationship becoming increasingly distant with age… He was starting to get worried as time went by. Where could Chastity of all people be?

“I…”

Spots of colour flushed high on her cheeks, shoes now tucked under her arm as her hands wrung together nervously. Even though she knew their mother was out, she still couldn’t help but feel that at any moment she might loom out of the shadows with a face of stone and a tongue of ice. Would Credence tell her? She didn’t think he would, but if Ma pressured him…

He had before. And she had told on him before too, when they were children, because even the threat of eternal damnation was not quite as scary as Ma looming over them, as all-knowing and judging as the Lord himself and twice as punishing.

He still felt guilty for having told on her at times. Yes, he was only a frightened child, he’d never judge either of his sisters for making the same mistake, but he was the eldest, it was his job to protect the girls. 

The relief was clear in the release of tension, the way her shoulders slumped and she finally let go of the breath that she'd been holding. If Ma found out about this...well, Chastity couldn't imagine that she would be happy. Sure, Edward sometimes came to their meetings, but she doubted that would be enough to gain the approval of Mary Lou Barebone.

Chastity was, by definition, the golden child. The one who followed the rules, who rarely upset their mother and in turn, received punishment the least out of all of them. It was her way of surviving, to try to be the double of Mary Lou Barebone, so that she might escape her harsh hand. But that didn’t mean that she always followed the rules.

It was the closest thing he’d ever had to freedom.

Credence never slept much, he’d always been so highly strung with nerves, and in the quiet of night the darkness had a habit of whispering to him. Which was why waiting up for his sister was not a difficult task, despite the late hour.

That, and the fact that despite their relationship becoming increasingly distant with age… He was starting to get worried as time went by. Where could Chastity of all people be?

"I..."

Spots of colour flushed high on her cheeks, shoes now tucked under her arm as her hands wrung together nervously. Even though she knew their mother was out, she still couldn't help but feel that at any moment she might loom out of the shadows with a face of stone and a tongue of ice. Would Credence tell her? She didn't think he would, but if Ma pressured him...

@thebarebonesisters​ asked:  “  i made you something.  ”

She'd worked hard on it all morning, using the stumps of crayons she still had, brow furrowed in concentration as she'd worked. Modesty knew Credence didn't get much in the way of nice things. That seemed wrong to her, because Credence was, in her opinion, a really good big brother. Even if ma didn't seem to think that he was good, he was one of the few things that made living in the Second Salem church bearable. So she'd taken it upon herself to make him a gift. It wasn't much, but it was the best she could do.

“ you can stay here, if you'd like. “

“ please don't go. “

“ why don't we stay at your place tonight? “

“ can i get you anything? “

“ let's be pathetic together. “

“ are you crying? “

“ i'm glad that you're here. “

“ you're not doing this alone. “

“ i don't have anyone anymore. “ “ you have me. “

“ are you sure [about staying]? “

“ you didn't force me. i volunteered [to be here], remember? “

“ you are what’s important right now. “

“ it’s okay, you know. if you need to vent. “

“ are you sure? it's quite heavy [of a topic]. “ “ i've got all night. “

“ tonight is about you. you can make it up to me some other time. “

“ i've got nowhere else to be. “

“ you said you needed a distraction. “ “ so... where is it? “ “ you're looking right at it. “

“ why don't you come here for a second? “

“ wanna talk about it? “

“ i can't talk about it. not tonight. “

“ you need to distract me. do something, anything. “

“ i just don't want to be alone tonight. “

“ i'm tired of thinking. let's just... make out, or something “

“ i feel like shit. “ “ you look like it, too. “ “ hey! “

“ it’s okay to cry, you know. “

“ you’re a little hurt, that’s all. “

“ anything you want me to get you? “

“ nothing a good [drink] can't fix. “

“ let’s get you cleaned up. “

“ this is you thinking rationally? “

“ you're really all i've got. “

“ c'mere. let me give you a hug. “

“ and you're absolutely sure this is what you need? “

“ you don't need this right now. “

“ how long are you gonna sit there? “ “ all night, if that's what it takes. “

“ what's it gonna take to make you smile? “

“ if you're not ready to talk about it, let's not talk about it. “

“ wanna play some mario kart? it'll give us both a reason to cry when you beat me. “

“ how about we stay like this, holding each other? “

“ i don’t know what’s wrong with me. “

“ i can’t stop crying. “ “ i'll be strong for the both of us. “

“ i didn’t know where else to go. “

“ the door's always open, you know that. “

“ i thought you were leaving town. “ “ i can't leave now. “

“ there's that smile i know and love... “

“ stay with me. “

“ hey, what’s your favorite snack? “

“ i’m not leaving. “

“ just let it out. “

“ you're stronger than you think. “

“ how about i make a quick run to the store, get you some aspirin? “

“ grab a burger or something on your way home. “

“ you were always there when i needed you. let me repay the favor. “

“ i don't mean to bother you. “ “ you're not. “

“ hey, listen to me... “

“ you’re not a burden. “

“ aren’t you tired? “ “ this isn't about me. “

“ you’re going to be okay. “

“ hey, look at me… “

“ i don’t know what to do. “ “ we’ll figure it out. “

“ you’re not alone. “