The Art of Making Dances

Unpopular opinion time? I think so. 

The past few months, I’ve been taking technique classes in preparation for grad school auditions. (Not nearly enough, but hey, at least I’m trying).  Firstly, I KNOW it’s bad that I have not been taking class on a regular basis and ridiculous that I applied to MFA programs with that in consideration. But the facts are: I work 6 days a week. There are only two days a week where I don’t work in the mornings, Monday and Friday, and to take class means getting up at the crack of dawn, driving 40 mins to a bus station, taking a 30 min bus to NYC, running to the subway to travel to a studio, taking class for 3 hours or so, run like HELL back to subway & Port Authority, take a bus home, drive an hour to get my ass to the studio where I teach dance for 4 hours. (This day doesn’t make me the most cheerful, kind dance teacher...) And let’s not even try to think about how I manage to eat meals on these days. (Sooooo many granola bars.) I suppose I could take classes on the weekends, but I like to visit my boyfriend, my friends, my family instead, and relax. And I have no regrets about that. 

SO ANYWAY, back to my rant. 

A couple months ago the struggle was real, and I just couldn’t get myself up in time to take get to the studio I wanted, so I ended up at Broadway Dance Center (the closest studio to the bus station). I’ve taken class here many times before when I was still in high school, but have avoided it since because I have never had a positive experience there. (Disclaimer: These experiences are unique to me. Some people love this place and it might be because they are teacher “favorites” or they just pick the right classes at the right times with the right teachers.)  This time was no different, but as an older, smarter dancer, I didn’t just sit back and let it happen. (Well actually I did, but I gave the teacher a respectful piece of my mind at the end of class.) 

I signed up for Advanced Beginner Contemporary, and Intermediate Ballet. 

Levels seem to mean almost nothing at most of these places in the city for drop in classes. The teachers teach at their highest level no matter what the level says, and after testing the median class experience level, slow down or keep going. Some choose to ignore the level entirely and if you’re struggling, they tell you to be careful. The latter is what I have found BDC does, 9 times out of 10. 

Contemporary: (i.e. SYTYCD, or Lyrical.....)

I won’t get into the logistics of how Lyrical and Contemporary are different, but let’s just say a professional non-commercial contemporary dancer would’ve cringed at this class. 

The warm up left much to be desired. Crazy flailing movement sequences, deep, intense stretches, and balances held for an eternity. All within the first 10 minutes. Not only is this unsafe for your body, the only people in the room that seemed familiar with the warm up were the teacher, and maybe 1-2 of what I later learned were his “proteges”. Not to mention, the room that could probably fit 15 comfortably, held close to 40 students. At $18 a head. 

There were no explanations for anything, just jumping from exercise to exercise with indulgent movements that seemed to go with whatever train of thought the teacher had at that moment. The transitions were fast and jerky, and impossible to follow. I’ve been through college, and taken advanced level classes elsewhere, and never had this much trouble following a teacher. 

Corrections were given frugally, and mostly to his “favorites”, who were perfectly competent and had impressive 180 degree turnout. In fact, I caught these few girls conversing before class and I QUOTE, 

“God, if I didn’t have perfect turnout I’d be such a waste of space. I feel bad for people who don’t have it. It’s just like.... honey, just go home...” 

We started phrasework that was obviously from a piece the teacher was staging on the “favorites” in the class from another venue, and we were split into groups. All of his “favorites” were put in the first group. (Shocker!) 

At this point, he occasionally corrected someone, but never with helpful critiques, only negative feedback and body language. One girl marked a step without using her turn out (impossible to do anything full out in the room) and he went “EUUUGH no! Oh no oh no oh no! That’s terrible! Fix it!” She looked mortified. 

We performed in groups what we had learned so far, before he taught everyone the ending of the combination. There was no room to go full out with so many people in the room. I couldn’t even mark it. He brought the first group out and had them do the ending once slowly before performing the phrase. I was so grateful, because I hadn’t gotten a chance to mark it out. 

Wrong again. The first group was the only group who got that chance. I didn’t feel confident throwing my body into the movement without even having MARKED it. I couldn’t get the ending of the phrase, 3/4 times we did it. 

At the end of class, I (as respectfully as I could) explained to the teacher how I would have appreciated that chance that the first group had, to which he replied, “Oh, I didn’t even notice I did that.”

No kidding.... 

He didn’t notice anyone else dancing in that room. 

He filmed the first group multiple times on his iPhone, and talked to his favorites when every subsequent group performed. At a couple points, he actually LEFT the room while other groups were dancing. 

Ballet:

Not much to say here... Frowning woman with thick Russian accent whacked me on the leg and grimaced, yelling, “USE THAT!” (I have very little turn out, and was using all that I had.) 

TLDR;

Young teacher, very indulgent and only focused on his own movement. HUGE class with no cap on a room that fits about 15.  The warm up was unsafe, and the stretches were something I’ve given to my own kids, though I do it appropriately and slowly introduce them. Transitions were elementary in the way that we jumped to intense stretching immediately, and quick, jerky transitions were not explained. Teacher used negative feedback, and favored students he knew, when all paid the same $18 to be in an open drop-in class. Felt like SYTYCD,  very commercial studio. Dissatisfied. 

No matter how late I am, I now make it a point to not return there. 

Now, let’s look at Steps on Broadway!

Here, I have had nothing but positive experiences! Teachers almost always give corrections, classes are capped appropriately, and each studio has a sign with the maximum number of people allowed, because FIRE HAZARDS. Duh. Classes are productive, non-commercial, professional, and I actually learn something every time I go. 

I’m not going to write a novel for this one, because every class I’ve taken here has been positive. Not saying others can’t disagree, but this is my experience. Here are some bullet points of what I like about Steps.

- kind nurturing environment. 

- non competitive, nice people, nice teachers

- experienced, many times older professional teachers who care about their students and give feedback liberally. 

- teachers learn student’s names in almost every class, whether you’ve been there every week, or it’s your first time taking their class. And they remember it. 

- class structure is smart, and can change the way you dance. You improve. 

- ballet is not abusive. 

- levels are true to description. You can take a challenging level as a less experienced dancer, and you will get something out of it and still be given feedback. 

- well worth $18 for slightly longer class times- 1.5 hours, start and end on time. (Not 1 hr 20 mins, and starting late/ending late.) 

- safe warmups

- actual technique. No SYTYCD.  

- concise, clear explanations, allow/ask for questions from students. 

- comfortable amount of challenge. 

- fantastic guest artists and master classes

- I once shared a ballet barre with Donna McKechnie. (I mean, you really can’t do better than that...)

Favorite teachers: Dawn Hillen, Kathryn Sullivan- ballet, Mindy Upin- Contemporary, Karen Gayle - Horton (she’s AAAAAMAZING), Felipe Galganni- rhythm tap/ rumba tap, Lesley Lockery- tap, Jeff Shade- Musical theatre, many others/ guest artists. 

TLDR;

Broadway Dance Center= commercial dance. If you want college/conservatory type modern dance, go to Steps on Broadway. Go to Mark Morris Dance Group. ...go anywhere else. 

[EDITED]

Thank goodness. 

I am writing this awash in the sweetest relief i’ve felt in a while. 

tonight (2 weeks from the last post I wrote about this matter) while I was teaching, I received a text from my boss that the student I basically (VERBALLY) abused might come try my class one last time before she quit for good. I was already relieved that I would possibly get a chance to apologize to her, just from one text. 

I had thought it was a bit strange for a kid who’s taken my class for 3 years to quit after one bad experience, though I do admit it was really a bad experience for her two weeks ago.

She was there, lo and behold. I apologized to her in private before the class started, told her how ashamed I was and why, and listened as she told me how she was sensitive, hates being yelled at, and was embarrassed last time. I told her that by apologizing, I was not trying to convince her to stay.  She also told me in a rush that she had been working on the step and almost had it, and that she knew her right from her left. I told her not to worry about it, and that everyone learns at their own rate, and I knew full well that she would get the step at some point in the near future. All the things I should have said the last time she came to class. 

I proceeded to give a nice class, and treated her the way I always have, checking my personal baggage at the door. 

An hour or so later came the phone call. 

She’s staying in the class. 

I screwed up this week. Not in a minor way either. In a way that makes me itch with remorse and guilt and hate myself, a lot. 

I managed to be that teacher I always hated when I was growing up, and in just a few minutes managed to be off-putting enough to cause a long time student I genuinely like to leave my class for good. 

I can’t rationalize what I did. I know it was wrong, and the excuses I have are not at all excusable. 

Yes, I’ve been sick with minor sinus type annoying things for an entire month, and my swollen head and throat were bothering me a great deal. Yes, there were 3 other classes I had already taught and I was tired. Yes, it was Monday. Yes, I was stressed with life things. No excuses. 

We were doing a step across the floor that we’ve done every single week since September. 8-10 weeks of this step and on one side, these two kids just couldn’t get it. Still. 

For some reason, it made me crazy this week. I had to make sure they got it. 

I made them both do it again and again and again, saying the same correction over and over and over. I did not demonstrate the step at all, because the rest of the class had already done so, and this was not a new step. 

One of the two girls finally got it. The other didn’t. 

I kept going. I made her do it again and again. We both got frustrated. My tone shifted to one of a patronizing, condescending nature. “You know that isn’t correct, do it again.”

I started to cringe as I realized how out of control this situation was becoming, and then she got the step, finally, somehow through my abuse. I quickly realized she was a bit shaken, so I spoke to the whole class and apologized briefly, “I’m sorry guys. I know i’m really pushing you but you all have a lot of potential and this is a step we’ve been doing since day one. We need to move past it and I just want you to all be together. You’re doing a great job.” 

The girl asked to get water..... and too many minutes passed. 

I checked up and she was with her mother in the lobby, crying. 

Next day came the phone call. 

I hate myself a lot that I made a kid quit my class. It’s happened before, sure, but other circumstances were also present and it was never something that was directly accountable to my teaching. This was me, not able to check my personal baggage at the door, something I expect of my students. This is something that could affect her for the rest of her life, a student with clear potential for dance. I am truly ashamed of this, and it has haunted me for three days and probably many more. 

As someone who gave up on ballet several times because of teachers that couldn’t teach me well, or teach me with kindness and patience, I suffered technically for it. I still do. I absolutely hate that I did that to someone else. 

Yes, I rarely post anymore. 

Yes, I know.

I posted frequently for a while because I didn’t understand how real life worked after I graduated college. I still don’t, but now I have more part time jobs than I did then, so I’m working quite a bit and have little time for leisure. I suppose there is plenty of leisure that still happens unintentionally, but tumblr is more of an effortful leisure for me. 

Anyway, this post is mostly a to do list. So sorry. 

I’m applying to graduate schools, and it’s overwhelming. 

I won’t get into the specifics. Too much effort on my part, and that I can keep straight in my head, anyway. 

The hardest thing is, I have to choose two pieces of my choreography to send in with my applications. Keeping in mind that the development of a distinct choreographic voice is probably valued more than demonstrating my range as a choreographer, I am struggling. 

I feel like my heart very much lies in the dance/theater hybrid genre, and I’ve choreographed more works in there as of recent times. However, those works were all choreographed on kids at an arts camp who possessed a range of dance experience and abilities. The time line for these pieces was very short, as well as challenging dynamics to work with. These are the works that feel like mine, and not like I’m trying to be some big shot. 

What I think are stronger works that I should send in to schools are these two modern dance pieces I did at school for main stage concerts. However, for these the idea of choreographing for a main stage went straight to my head, and I think if I were to revisit these pieces now, I would many MANY cuts and edits. They are choreographically sound and the dancers are definitely more technically proficient than in my later works at the camp, but I feel like the choreographic voice I’d be promoting if I sent these two pieces in, would not be my own. 

So therein lies the dilemma. 

After a fun (though not very relaxing) day off (Theater staff have Sunday nights and Mondays off) in Boston, we plunged back into rehearsal at 100 mph. 

A designer run through was dangerously getting closer each day, which feels WAY too soon. We compromised by just showing our design team (costume, lights, sound, and set) the first Act ONLY. 

The run was somewhat rough, but definitely is starting to look like a show. Our lead actor already blew out her voice so she was on vocal rest and we had our assistant director/stage manager filling in vocally. 

The weather was also not our friend this week. With thunder storms in the forecast every day, we spent one day forced into one of the few, too small, indoor spaces because of the weather, and a second day in the same space with just the prospect of bad weather (that didn’t even occur until AFTER the day of rehearsals... ugh). 

Regardless, we pressed onward, and managed to show enough of the show to the designers that they got an idea of what it will look like. 

What a week! Immediately after auditions we plunged headfirst into rehearsals for Bat Boy. Only one camper left the cast after the first rehearsal, and we now have a final cast of 16 campers.  

Each morning, the cast has vocal rehearsal with our musical director and vocal coach. If certain cast members aren’t needed at vocal rehearsal, we take every opportunity we have to work with them on something else for the show. 

With a 2.5 week long process to get this musical polished and on the stage, no minute of the day can be left unused. 

In the afternoon, the director and I split up our time to work scenes and choreography, many times working together to blend the two. 

The biggest struggle comes from some of our cast being double cast in another show, whether it be a theater show, the clown show, or the dance show. Our brilliant production manager at camp has his own software called the “Cast-O-Matic” that creates a way to let campers be in whatever show they may choose, and creates a schedule that allows them to be at rehearsal for each show just enough to be prepared for everything. 

However, this sometimes means that we lose certain cast members at certain times of the day, and we have to find time to catch them up later. This can lead to some campers becoming overwhelmed, as well as the production team. 

What’s also hard about this is the fact that I am a staff member of two shops. In addition to Theater, I am also a Dance staff member. This means when I am not in rehearsal for the musical, I am either teaching a dance class, choreographing one of my dances for the dance show, or planning for one of these things! It’s actually a really nice balance 99.9% of the time, but it means that I am almost always moving at top speed and rarely sit down all day long! However, I cannot complain. 

The following posts for the next few weeks (if I can keep this up) will be centered around the productions of Bat Boy and Fiddler on the Roof that I am choreographing this summer at an arts camp. 

Bat Boy, Bat Boy, Bat Boy... 

What a strange, eclectic, quirky, dark, controversial show. Upon arriving at camp this summer, I immediately delved into a myriad of production meetings with a large, multitalented team of artists. This experience compared to my previous two summers started out feeling somewhat odd; a bit of a game changer. There’s a lot of turnover in who I’m working with in some respects, and not so much in others. The director of the first musical each summer decided to work on a straight play with a slightly shorter process, and my head of shop in Theater (shops are what we call the different places on camp that are used for designated forms of art...) took over the role of director of the first session musical. As someone who had never directed or performed in a musical, she was a bit daunted at first. Also in our production team is a multitalented musical director and also a vocal teacher who together will be teaching the campers cast in the show their vocal parts, while also communicating the needs of the show to the pit band. We also have a wonderful stage manager/assistant director, who is so on top of things it’s scary at times! (In only the best of ways). We also have a set designer, lighting designer, sound designer, and costume designer, with even more staff in those shops working on our show.

As choreographer, this show isn’t particularly dance heavy... but that does NOT mean my job is any less than anyone else. If anything, as one of the only “veterans” of the process, I have had to step up my role in certain aspects. 

Fast forward to auditions. Setting: the actor’s studio ( a black box theater in the woods), with a panel of adjudicators (production team) at a long table in the front of the room. 

This was by far the most unusual audition I’ve had at this camp thus far. It’s unclear to me why specifically I felt weird, but overall it felt like an extremely low turnout of auditionees. 

I don’t know if it was the unfamiliarity of the show itself, or that people were more attracted to the synopses of the other 5 non-musical shows for the first session of camp, but we saw 39 campers the entire day. 

Normally, I’m used to seeing upwards of 70 campers... with a record high somewhere in the 100s. 

Regardless, we pressed onward (and had a more relaxing day than perhaps we would have liked/expected!) 

The audition began with our CITs (counselors in training) teaching the dance phrase I had choreographed and taught them very quickly before the first group of auditionees showed up. 

Then, after small groups of campers performed the dance, we had each camper sing a song of their choice, followed by a brief testing of their vocal range at the piano. Finally, the campers prepared sides (short scenes) with partners and performed them for us. For most scenes, our director had the campers switch parts multiple times and even gave them some direction to see how well they could take notes and make the necessary changes. 

Somehow, after hours and hours of auditioning, and sitting in a room with all the other directors and production teams, we cast the show and I couldn’t be happier with the cast we ended up with. Despite the low turn out, we saw a more concentrated group of talented campers and were able to fill all the roles with minimal gender-swapping. 

Bat Boy, in fact, is being played by a female camper, but it was not out of necessity per se. We had the luxury of having very talented kids audition in such a way that it was clear which characters their strengths would be showcased.

It's amazing

How one day we're all thrown in together,

totally different people,

and we form alliances,

we find and forge connections.

We have each others' backs, 

we stick our necks out for each other. 

We call ourselves a dysfunctional family.

It's amazing

How a few years go by,

Geographic distance increases,

we get older,

are thrown into new places with new faces,

form new alliances and bonds,

and the old ones either become paper thin,

or strong as steel.

It's amazing

how some ties get severed like wires,

leaving angry sparks in their wake.

Frayed edges of hurt,

Signaling that those edges once were meant to go together,

but not forever.

Just until they expired.

Who out there is getting an advanced degree (MA, MFA, PhD, EdM, ETC...).

I need to pick your brain and figure life out.

Trying to figure out my password, then trying to figure out the password to my email for this account, then for the backup email for that email, then it had to send a verification code to my cell phone. And now I forget what I was so inspired to post, just 10 frustrating, technologically challenged minutes ago. 

Sorry. 

Competition dance... WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE?

Let me start by saying that today (well last weekend now) marks the first day in over a decade that I set foot in a hotel ballroom for the purposes of a dance competition.  As a child, I was a “high silver” medal winner and expert arm waver while other kids in my group were featured doing acro tricks. (Don’t worry, there was a small army of arm wavers, it wasn’t just me.)

Years later, here I am as a mentor to a group of 10ish year old girls doing a sassy jazz/hip hop piece, sitting in the VIP section watching group after group of TINY children skiphop their way onto the stage with duck lips and bra tops. Then, up goes a sea of right legs, one after another, and they reach 180 degrees, before dramatically jerking past 180 another 45 degrees with some contortionist insanity. (Need an example?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id6mdwxfS7Y  Try not to scream.) Extreme technique vs. artistry. A never ending dance battle.

Next, everyone booty pops, shimmies, twerks, and the like until I actually get nervous that these boob-less little children might lose their bras. 

Who teaches these 6 year olds how to dance like they’re in the club?! Who gives them promiscuous choreography and costumes?! WHAT PARENT/JUDGE/STUDIO OWNER IS ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN?!?!?

Maybe I’m just old, and I shouldn’t be shocked considering what is on shows like Dance Moms, but I just have to wonder what happens to these kids after the competitions. 

Then, the scoring. So I mentioned I was a “high silver” medal winner. In my day (here we go with the old lady thing again), It was bronze, high bronze, silver, high silver, gold, and high gold. That’s it. A little silly what with everyone trying to figure out the actual point difference between regular medal and the higher medal, but more or less everyone understood.

Nowadays.. Silver is the lowest. Then comes gold, platinum, and titanium. But really, these are just fancier names for the same things. But the concept is, no kid (nor parent who spent a pretty penny on their lessons and costumes and wasted HOURS upon HOURS of their year revolving around competitions) wants to get a bronze medal. There’s a sense of shame in that. (And unbelievable rage from parents.) So the idea is, everyone is a winner and feels good at the end of the day. Yes! This is great! But this is also terrible! Maybe some kids see through the new names of the medals and are spurred to work harder and improve their technique when they get a silver or a gold, but I am sure many go home satisfied that they are a “gold medal winner”.

To be clear, I am NOT saying dance is about winning, and I am pretty upset with competition dance as a whole. I am saying it’s never a good thing to believe you are already the best you can be. I am saying that a kid shouldn’t be sheltered from a bronze medal like it’s a bad thing. It’s a great thing to get any kind of medal at all. They should learn to appreciate the beauty of the bronze.

It’s mostly all subjective anyway... but still.

1.       When is class over?  or It’s time for class to end.  These questions/comments are rude and indicate you would rather be somewhere else.  If you would rather be somewhere else, maybe you sh...

ALSO THIS.

And I must add... 11. any variation of: Can we/ when are we/ will we do a dance to Frozen?? What about Let It Go? The answer is always going to be NO.

You know what really grinds my gears? But really! Have you ever been super excited to take class from the choreographer you've always wanted to meet and you get all set up in your spot in the crowd...