The Art of Longing

A Court of Thorns And Roses

Azriel Rhysand Cassian Eris Lucien Kallias Tarquin

Throne of Glass

Lorcan Rowan Dorian Fenrys

Crescent City

list #1, list #2, list #3

I feel like I’ve read every Azriel fic ever written and now I’m just feigning and foaming at the mouth waiting for more to be posted.

Azriel x f!reader (established relationship)

Warnings: SMUT, mdni, 18+ ONLY, NSFW, CNC Summary: Your mate has been working so much lately that the distance leaves you restless and needy, so you decide to take matters into your own hands late one night. A/N: Inspired by these gifs that I have not been able to stop thinking about.

Azriel x f!reader

Trigger Warnings: allusions to depression and suicide. Angst, but not like the devasting hopeless kind (I don't have it in me yet). A/N: I'm working my way out of a writing slump with this little one. Maybe I could write a part 2? Let me know your thoughts. Summary: You are a human from the village the Archeron sisters grew up in, discovered by the Shadowsinger post war. You find yourself struggling with more than just cold and hunger now.

You were giggling.

Actually giggling—soft, breathless, a little unsteady—as you leaned against the wall outside the bathroom at Rita’s. The hallway tilted ever so slightly beneath your feet, the world swaying in a way that should have alarmed you.

Instead, it only made you laugh harder.

When had you ever felt like this? So light. So untethered. As if nothing in the world could touch you.

Certainly not back in the human village.

Those days had been cold. Quiet. Hungry in a way that never truly left you. You’d spent them scavenging scraps from neighbors’ refuse, setting pitiful traps behind your collapsing shack, if it could even be called that, hoping to catch something, anything, to stretch your survival a little longer.

That was all it had been. Survival. Hour by hour. Day by day. No hope, no future, just endurance.

The fever had taken everything. Your parents. Your brothers. It had spared you, for reasons you’d never understood. Sometimes that felt less like mercy and more like cruelty.

Two years ago.

It felt like another lifetime.

The starving loneliness had eventually shifted into something quieter, heavier. A different kind of emptiness.

After the war with Hybern, Nesta and the spymaster had found you—though “found” felt too generous a word. You’d been barely alive, collapsed in the forest, too weak to crawl any farther from the battlefield. The ground had trembled with magic and steel, each distant impact rattling through your fragile body.

You had almost welcomed it. The idea that a stray arrow or lash of power might find you.

End it.

Instead, there had been hands. Large, steady hands, cradling your face. A voice you couldn’t quite hear. And then—

Warmth.

When you woke again, it came in fragments. Heat seeping into your bones. Darkness pulling you under again. Over and over, for weeks.

Later, you’d learn it had been the House of Wind. That you’d spent nearly three weeks drifting in and out of consciousness, your body fighting infections it had no strength left to battle. That healers had worked tirelessly to keep you alive.

You remembered flashes.

Golden light pouring into your chest as a healer hovered above you.

A winged male in the corner, silent and watchful, shadows curling around him like living things.

And then...

Nesta was there. Familiar, impossible. You had to be hallucinating.

“Nesta?” you’d whispered, your voice barely there.

She’d hushed you gently, brushing your hair back.

“Am I dead?” you had asked.

“No,” she told you softly. “You’re safe.”

Safe.

The word had felt foreign.

And so you learned everything. About your rescue. About the war. About how Nesta, Feyre, and Elain were no longer human. About how you now lived among them in a world of magic and power you did not belong to.

They had been kind. All of them. Patient. Welcoming.

And still, you had never felt more alone.

You were the only human. No power. No purpose. Nothing to offer in a place where everyone seemed extraordinary.

You watched them fight, lead, protect.

You sat still.

So when Mor invited you out—to Rita’s, of all places—you said yes before you could think too hard about it. Desperate to feel included. To pretend, if only for a night, that you belonged somewhere again.

And now here you were.

Drunk. Laughing. Weightless.

The fae wine burned sweeter than anything you’d ever tasted, and far stronger. It blurred the sharp edges of your thoughts, softened the ache you carried so constantly.

For once, you didn’t feel like the girl who had survived.

You just felt…free.

You stumbled toward the staircase before you could reconsider, your mind chasing a single, glittering thought.

I want to fly.

The cold air on the rooftop should have sobered you. Your dress, thin, silk, barely more than a whisper against your skin, offered no protection from the biting wind.

But you barely felt it.

Velaris stretched out before you, glowing. Lights shimmering along the Sidra, laughter echoing faintly from the streets below. Life, vibrant and full, unfolding all around you.

And above...

Stars.

Closer than you’d ever seen them. Bright enough to feel within reach.

If you could just get a little higher…

You stepped onto the ledge, swaying, a soft laugh slipping from your lips.

Almost.

“Y/n, sweetheart…what are you doing up there?”

The voice cut through the haze.

You turned too quickly, your balance faltering as shadows surged toward you—alive, reaching.

And then he stepped from them.

Azriel.

Still. Controlled. But his jaw was tight, his eyes sharp with something dangerously close to fear.

So pretty, you thought distantly.

“So are you,” he said softly, you must have said that out loud. “You look beautiful tonight. Why don’t you come down so I can see you properly?”

You smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“I want to fly,” you told him.

Another unsteady shift of your feet. His shadows lashed more urgently now.

“I can take you,” he said quickly, voice roughening. “Right now. We’ll go together. You want to see the stars? I’ll take you.”

You shook your head.

“You can’t.”

A wave of dizziness hit, your vision tilting.

“I have to do it myself.”

“Y/n…” He stepped closer. Careful. Measured. “Please. Let me help you.”

“You can’t!” The words broke out of you, sharp and sudden. “No one can.”

Your throat tightened, a sob forcing its way free.

“I’m alone. I have nothing. No family, no friends—”

"That's not true. You have Nesta and Feyre and Elain," he interrupted, firm but gentle.

"They only care because of their guilt."

Silence stretched between you.

Then, quieter...

“You have me.”

Something in his voice made your chest ache.

“I’m your friend,” he said. “Let me be that. Please.”

For a moment, the world stilled.

And then your foot slipped.

The edge vanished beneath you.

There was no fear. No panic.

Just a strange, quiet relief.

Finally-

Strong arms wrapped around you before the thought could finish. You were yanked back, lifted, the world dropping away as you were pulled into a solid chest.

Air rushed past as you rose.

Not falling.

Flying. Into the stars.

“I’ve got you,” Azriel murmured against your temple, his grip unyielding. “I’ve got you.” His heart hammered wildly beneath your cheek, each beat loud, insistent.

Real.

“I promise.”

And as you broke, tears spilling, body trembling, he felt it.

A sharp, searing pull just above his heart.

Azriel x reader

Summary: A soft moment fractures without warning, exposing a vulnerability Y/N has spent years hiding. Her secrets stay just out of reach, and Azriel can feel that whatever broke inside her didn’t break for him. TW: Emotional distress & mentions of past trauma

It was much later, deep into the velvet-blue hours of the night, when Cassian finally pushed himself to his feet, wings rustling in agitation.

“I’m going to patrol,” he announced, already scowling at the windows as though they personally offended him. “Those wards around your land are a century past their prime. I don’t trust them.”

Y/N huffed from where she sat by the hearth. “My wards are fine, General.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “Are they?” He turned to Azriel. “You coming?”

Azriel didn’t even look away from her. “No. I’ll guard the cottage.”

“I don’t need guarding,” she muttered.

Azriel just held her stare, unreadable and unmoving, as if he could see the truth buried under her stubbornness.

Cassian hesitated. A rare thing. His eyes flicked between them, between the shadows curling at Azriel’s boots and the girl whose calm was too carefully crafted to be natural.

Something about her unsettled him.

“Fine,” he said at last, though the word was reluctant. “I’ll sweep the perimeter.”

He stepped outside into the cold night air, and the moment the door shut behind him, his unease finally buzzed to the surface. Cassian pressed a hand to his temple and sent the thread of thought spiraling down the bond.

Rhys. We found her. But something is…off.

Rhys’s voice came sharp through the mental link. Are you certain?

Yes. And Azriel, Cassian swallowed. He knows her. Or she knows him. They’re acting like they’ve met before, but neither of them is saying it.

A long pause.

We’re on our way, Rhys said.

No. Don’t. Cassian’s reply was immediate, almost panicked. It’s better with just the two of us. She doesn’t feel hostile. Just…old. And powerful. Too powerful. But she’s open to Az. Maybe only to him. She looks like a normal girl living a quiet farm life but, Cauldron, Rhys, I can feel something beneath her skin. Something ancient. It’s…unsettling.

Another silence, heavier this time.

Keep your distance. And keep Azriel breathing.

Cassian snorted. That’s the plan.

He continued his sweep, but even the forest felt unsettled.

Inside the cottage, quiet pressed in like snowfall.

Azriel took the chair opposite her, his posture loose but watchful. Shadows curled and uncurled around him, drawn to her like smoke seeking a flame.

They watched each other for a long time.

Finally, Azriel’s restraint cracked.

“Are you truly the lost heir?” he asked softly. “The one all of the old stories talk about?”

Her lips curved, too neutral to be a smile, too knowing to be anything else. “I’m whatever the world needed me to be,” she said. “And nothing more.”

It was an answer meant to confuse him. It did.

Azriel leaned forward, voice barely above a whisper. “How did you appear to me in that cell? How did you look no older than I was?”

She shrugged, almost carelessly. “I was told to go there. So I did. And I found you.”

“Who told you?”

No answer. Only the faintest tightening of her jaw.

His shadows fluttered toward her, curious, remembering. He followed their movement with his eyes.

“And the shadows?” he asked quietly.

She looked at them, really looked, and for the first time since he’d arrived, something soft, nearly tender, passed across her face.

“They were a gift,” she murmured.

“From who?”

“A shadowsinger,” she whispered, her voice carrying the echo of centuries. “One who gave them to me a long time ago. He asked me to return them to the one they were meant for.”

Azriel’s heart slammed once, hard, against his ribs.

Y/N said nothing else. But beneath her calm, she was fraying. Tension rippled under her skin. Her gaze skittered to the window, the door, the corners of the room, every exit, every hidden angle.

“You’re afraid,” he said.

Her head snapped toward him. “I’m not afraid of anyone.” A beat. “Only myself and—”

She stopped herself. But he’d already heard it.

Azriel exhaled slowly, leaning back.

So he told her everything.

About Hybern. The war. Their desperate, blood-soaked victory. The friends who stood beside him, who lived, who didn’t.

When he spoke Amren’s name, Y/N’s entire body went still. She turned sharply toward him, eyes gleaming with something bright and sharp and ancient...mischief? Sorrow? It was impossible to tell.

He spoke of the Weaver and the Bone Carver. She flinched when their names left his mouth, then went quiet as stone.

When he mentioned Bryaxis, he saw her lips twitch upward.

“Cassian is terrified of her,” he admitted, lips twitching upward at the memory of his brother screaming that day he flew out of the library like she was chasing him.

“Bryaxis will come back,” Y/N said softly. “When she’s good and ready.”

The quiet that followed was thick, heavy, stretched thin by the weight of too many secrets.

Azriel shifted. “The courts are…tense. Especially with the humans. And now there’s talk again of a single ruler of Prythian. Personally, I believe my High Lord and Lady—”

“One ruler,” Y/N murmured, interrupting him for the first time. She stared into the fire, its glow turning her eyes to molten gold. “A blessing. And a curse.”

Her voice dipped lower, threaded with an old, weary truth that made Azriel’s shadows still.

“It’s a blessing,” she said, “if your ruler is good and fair and just.” Her eyes reflected flames, bright, endless, ancient. “But eventually, you’ll get an heir who is too hungry. Too eager. Too blinded by the allure of power to think of anything but his own victory.”

She turned her face fully toward the firelight, and for the first time, Azriel saw the centuries behind her expression.

“Those are the rulers who take,” she whispered. “And take. And never stop taking until everything in their path is devoured.”

The flames crackled. The shadows held their breath. Outside, the forest went silent.

And Azriel realized.

She wasn’t speaking of hypotheticals. She was remembering.

The fire snapped, sending a ripple of light across her face. For a moment, Azriel thought she had gone someplace far away, some century he could never reach, some memory too heavy to share.

Then her expression shuttered, all that ancient grief and knowing vanishing behind a practiced quiet.

Azriel swallowed. “Y/N,” he said softly, “you speak as if you’ve seen these rulers firsthand.”

Her eyes flicked to him, quick, sharp, almost startled. She caught herself too late.

Azriel leaned forward. “Haven’t you?”

But she only looked back at the flames, jaw tightening, throat working as if swallowing something bitter.

When she finally spoke, her voice carried a faint tremor. Not fear. Not exactly.

Restraint.

“I’ve seen enough,” she murmured. “More than enough. And even a fool could see that granting a single ruler such power breeds consequences that cannot easily be unraveled.”

Azriel wanted to push, to demand. But her silence was suddenly a wall he couldn’t scale.

Outside, something rustled, Cassian, likely, circling the cottage like an overprotective wolf. Shadows curled around Azriel’s ankles, restless, tugging, whispering.

She watched them with that same unsettling tenderness, as if she knew every word they breathed.

Azriel exhaled once. “Who told you to go to me that night?” he asked again, quieter this time. “In the cell. When you appeared.”

Her breath caught, barely, but he heard it.

“I...can’t say.”

“Or won’t?”

She didn’t answer.

The shadows pressed closer, drawn to her pulse, to something thrumming beneath her skin. And she didn’t shy away. She lifted her hand, slowly, carefully, as if not to frighten them.

A single shadow curled around her fingertip like a cat brushing a warm palm.

Something in Azriel’s chest pulled taut.

“Why me?” he asked, his voice rougher than intended. “Why did the shadows choose me?”

Y/N didn’t look at him. Her eyes stayed on the shadow twined around her hand, like an old friend returned.

“They didn’t choose you,” she murmured, barely audible. “They were returning home.”

Azriel’s throat closed.

His shadows froze, as though they, too, understood something unimaginable had just been said aloud.

Azriel’s voice cut through the warm crackle of the fire.

“Who sent you to me on that night, Y/N?”

He asked again, the question landed like a blade, not sharp, but heavy. Purposeful. A weight she had carried alone for far too long.

Y/N kept her eyes on the flames, willing her breath to stay steady. But the memories didn’t listen.

They surged.

Flashback — Y/N’s POV

The world was nothing but screams and smoke and the choking scent of iron.

She knelt in the mud, palms pressed to a broad chest that barely rose anymore. His blood was everywhere, on her hands, her dress, the earth beneath them. Shadows writhed around his body in panicked spirals, as if trying to hold him together by sheer desperation.

“No,” she sobbed, her voice raw. “No, no, don’t you dare, don’t you dare leave me.”

He laughed, or the sound was close to one. Weak. Broken. His hand, trembling, lifted to cup her cheek.

“Little star,” he rasped, voice scraping against death. “Don’t cry.”

She shook her head violently. “I can fix this, I can...please—”

“You can’t.” His fingers tightened just barely. “But you can…listen.”

The shadows surged, as if they sensed what was coming. He swallowed, blood slipping from the corner of his mouth.

“Take them,” he whispered. “My shadows. Take them with you.”

“No,” she choked, pushing against him as if her hands could force life back into him. “They’re yours. They’re not meant for me.”

“They were…never meant for me alone.” His eyes, dark, gentle, full of knowing, locked onto hers. “Bring them home…when you find the one they belong to.”

The shadows keened. She shook with sobs.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t make me do this alone.”

“You won’t be alone,” he murmured, voice fading like smoke. “You’ll find him. And he’ll need you…more than you know...they all will.”

The shadows flowed toward her then, slow, mournful, choosing her as their vessel. Their weight, their grief, their loyalty, all winding around her as his chest rose one final time...

And fell.

Her breath snapped sharply in her lungs.

She blinked, and the cottage returned. The fire, the walls, the scent of pine and smoke that clung to her senses. And Azriel, watching her with that still, searching gaze that made her feel too seen.

Her eyes burned. She couldn’t let him see any more. Couldn’t let him ask what came after. Couldn’t let him peel back the centuries she had glued shut.

She stood abruptly, the chair scraping across the floorboards.

“Leave.”

Azriel’s brows drew together, confusion flickering across his features. “What?”

“I said leave.” Her voice cracked like a whip, sharp, sudden, too harsh, even to her own ears. Tears blurred her vision, but she refused to wipe them away. “You need to go. Now.”

“Y/N—”

“No.” Her throat tightened. “I’ve said enough.”

The shadows around him shifted uneasily, responding to her frayed power, to the storm trembling beneath her skin.

She turned her back to him, the only way to keep herself from shattering completely.

“Go, Azriel,” she whispered, voice trembling despite her will.

The words barely faded before something inside his chest pulled taut, tight, aching, as though her pain had sunk claws into him. Her shoulders were rigid, her breath sharp, and even without seeing her face he knew she was falling apart.

“Y/N,” he said softly, taking one step toward her. “Please…just talk to me.”

She flinched.

A full-body tremor, small but unmistakable.

The closer he came, the more she seemed to shrink, not away from him, but inward, as if the weight of something old and unbearable threatened to crush her. Her fingers curled against her sides, white-knuckled. Her breath came in uneven bursts, and the firelight caught the wet shine in her eyes before she could hide it.

“Y/N,” he tried again, voice cracking despite his control. “You’re trembling.”

“I’m fine,” she said, barely audible. But her voice was fraying, unraveling thread by thread.

Another step closer. Then the tears finally fell.

Her knees buckled.

Azriel lunged instantly, catching her before she hit the floor. Her hands curled into his leathers, her body shaking violently with sobs she could no longer hold back.

“Hey, hey, I’ve got you,” he murmured, arms tightening around her. “You’re safe. Just breathe.”

But she wasn’t hearing him.

Her eyes were open, but unfocused. Wide with terror, not of him, but of some memory dragging her under. Her breaths tore out of her in broken gasps, as if she were reliving something she had spent a lifetime burying.

“Go…” she whispered again, but the word wasn’t meant for him. He could hear it. Feel it. It was meant for a ghost. A nightmare. A moment she couldn’t escape. He knew that feeling all too well.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, cupping the back of her head, grounding her. “Look at me. You’re here. You’re not there, you’re with me.”

But she didn’t hear him.

Her voice broke, barely a breath, barely a sound, yet it pierced straight through him.

“Silas…”

The name trembled out of her like a wound splitting open.

And Azriel froze.

Because the moment the name left her lips, the shadows on his shoulders, shy, loyal, responsive to only him, snapped toward her in a rush. They curled around her waist, her arms, her shaking hands, clinging to her with unmistakable familiarity and desperate comfort.

As if they had been waiting centuries to hear that name again.

Thank You!

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who’s taken the time to read my little fic and share such kind words with me. It truly means the world to know that something I’ve written is enjoyed by others.

I stopped writing several years ago after getting into a relationship that, unfortunately, wasn’t the healthiest. During that time, I lost all motivation to write or create, which is weird because ever since I was a little girl, all I’ve ever wanted to do was write.

When that chapter of my life ended, I slowly started dipping my toes back into writing again, mostly on my other blog, and it reminded me just how much I’ve always loved it. Now that that rocky season is behind me, I’m in the process of moving and starting over and I am feeling more inspired than ever.

It fills my heart (and my creative cup) to know that these late night stories, scribbled out simply because I need to get the words out, are something you enjoy reading. Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement. I’m so excited to keep writing, both for me and for you.

Summary: Y/N has unexpected visitors, and long-buried truths begin to reveal themselves. TW: Minor mention of past trauma (non-graphic)

The night pressed close against the small cottage, wrapping its cold fingers around the edges of the roof and threading through the cracks in the shutters. Y/N lay awake, the blanket drawn loosely around her, listening to the faint hum of the hearth and the occasional creak of the old timbers. The wind whispered outside, but beneath it was something sharper, something alive. She could feel it, just beyond the reach of her senses, the weight of eyes tracing her every motion.

Her chest tightened with unease. She had lived long enough to know the signs, the subtle tremor of the air, the faint shift in the scent of the woods, but something about this felt… different. Persistent. Watching.

She pressed her palms against the cool sheets and thought through her wards, long dormant and quiet, etched into the soil and stone around the cottage. Would they hold? Were they strong enough? Her fingers traced the edge of the quilt, pulling her mind into a familiar debate. She did not want to use her magic. She had not for decades. Using it would draw attention, rip her careful silence apart. But the thought of waiting, of letting unseen observers circle her home, gnawed at her patience.

A sigh slipped past her lips. The answer, she realized, was in surprise. Not in the raw force of her magic, but in her own cunning. If she moved quietly, thought carefully, she could approach them before they realized anyone was near. Quieter than even shadows, she could step into their world and turn it upside down before they knew what had happened.

She rose, bare feet brushing against the cold floor, hair falling loose from its ties. Her movements were measured, silent. The cottage exhaled with her, creaking in familiar acknowledgment, as if it had been waiting for her decision. She slipped into the misted night, the forest beyond the fields welcoming her with the faint rustle of leaves.

Her senses sharpened. Every twig beneath her foot, every breath of wind through the pines, every scent in the damp earth registered. She moved closer, and then she saw them.

Two figures, half-hidden by the thick shadows of the trees. One, larger, with long hair that caught the faint moonlight, whispered something, the tone teasing. The other, stoic and beautifully formed, leaned slightly forward, listening.

“I swear,” the male with long hair one said softly, worry in his voice, “if we don't find that shadow beast soon, we may all meet our ends.”

The stoic one didn’t laugh, though a corner of his mouth twitched as the long haired male quickly said, "your shadows aren't beasts." Y/N allowed herself the tiniest smile behind a tree, hidden in the folds of shadow.

She stepped closer, careful to make no sound. “Have you found what you are looking for?” she asked softly, voice light but steady.

The wind shifted, the moment breaking. Both men spun at once, weapons drawn, eyes wide. Her hands lifted slowly, deliberately empty.

The stoic one lowered his blade almost immediately, eyes fixed on her. The larger one bared his teeth, growling low in his throat. “Who are you?” he demanded, voice rumbling in the quiet.

She did not flinch. She stepped past them, calm, serene, her presence taking command of the forest. “Would you like to spy on me from my cottage rather than the forest?” she asked, almost conversational, as if inviting them into her little bubble was the simplest thing in the world.

Confused, they slowly trailed after her, leaving a distance between themselves and her retreating figure.

By the time they reached the small cottage, Y/N was tending the hearth, setting a tea kettle down, and poking at the logs with precise, unhurried movements. The scent of burning pine and herbs filled the space.

She glanced over her shoulder at them without turning fully. “Now, who are you?”

They lingered by the doorway with wary looks. Their eyes traced every movement, noting her youth, the fluid grace in her gestures, the calm precision of someone who had lived alone for a long, long time. She looked far younger than they expected, almost fragile, yet the weight in her gaze contradicted every impression of delicacy. There was depth, experience, and the faint echo of power she had not needed to display.

Azriel stepped forward first, his voice quiet, deliberate. “I am Azriel,” he said. “And this is Cassian.” Something unspoken pressed between him and the words, a subtle need to be known by her.

Cassian gave a half-smirk, half-roll of his eyes. “Our High Lord sent us on a scouting mission. We must have taken a wrong turn.”

Azriel interrupted immediately, tone low, steady, impossibly certain. “No. We didn’t.” His eyes were locked on her, dark, impossibly deep. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow but did not speak. She gestured to the small kitchen table, her motion effortless. “Sit,” she said. “It has been a long time since I’ve had company.”

They waited, remaining by the door, the scent of tea rising from the kettle, the fire crackling softly between them. Silence stretched.

Then she looked directly at Azriel. “How do you know me? And what is it that you want?”

He let the question hang, allowing the weight to fill the room. “You already know the answer,” he said simply.

Her lips curved into a smile, small and knowing, the kind that suggested secrets shared long before words could be spoken. She studied him then, really looked at him.

“You have grown up to be one of the most beautiful males I have ever seen,” she said quietly, almost reverently. “And yet you still look the same as you did when you were a boy. Though I only ever saw you once.”

The room seemed to hold its breath, the firelight flickering over Azriel’s face, shadows stretching toward her like tentative hands. She glanced at them with fond look on her face, her lips curving upwards in the smallest smile.

Cassian shifted, uneasy, yet Azriel’s gaze never wavered. In that moment, time was irrelevant, and every careful choice she had made to hide and survive fell away as she looked at the male before her; some instinct telling her she could trust him with this.

Azriel’s POV

Azriel’s gaze never left her, but his mind shifted, reaching back into a memory long buried. The memory was hazy, fractured by pain and years, yet it burned with clarity all the same.

He remembered that night, the night his shadows had finally appeared to him, spiraling out of his grief and hurt, a gift born from agony. He had been a boy then, lost and broken, and in the darkness, he had seen her.

She had knelt before him, small and steady, her hands extended toward him as though offering something fragile yet powerful. Her voice, soft and certain, had whispered words he had not understood at the time.

“I will meet you again one day,” she whispered urgently to his small aching body. “I am giving you these shadows until that day comes. Protect them and they will protect you.”

The memory had haunted him, a flicker at the edge of his mind, a moment of guidance he could not place or name. Sometimes he wondered if he had dreamed it.

And now, standing before her, the realization struck him like a physical blow. She was the one from that night. The one who had been there when he had first met his shadows, the one who had touched his life without leaving a trace.

He stumbled slightly, caught off guard by the intensity of the recognition. His throat went dry. “It was you,” he murmured, almost reverently, voice barely more than a breath.

Y/N’s eyes never wavered. She watched him, calm, unreadable, like a still pool reflecting a storm. There was no acknowledgment, no confirmation, not even the smallest flicker of recognition on her face. She simply waited, allowing him to grasp the truth on his own.

“How…?” he began, but words failed him. He wanted to ask how she had been there, how she had known, how she had shaped his path without him even realizing. But the questions felt insignificant.

Y/N’s lips curved faintly, almost imperceptibly, as if to say that some things were never meant to be explained. The knowledge was enough, and yet she refused to name herself, refusing to give him the pieces he so desperately wanted.

Azriel’s chest tightened. The pull he had felt since her name was spoken, since her presence became undeniable, now rooted itself in history, in destiny, in something older than either of them. And even as the longing surged through him, he realized he might never fully know her, and yet he could not turn away.

Y/N poured the tea, her movements steady, almost meditative. Her eyes held his, sharp and knowing, millennia of experience and secret histories behind them. He wanted to speak, to ask the questions that burned in his mind, but he could not. The words tangled in his throat.

“You know something,” she said softly, voice quiet but certain, “and yet you hesitate.”

Azriel swallowed. Shadows coiled slightly around him, restless, protective. “I… not yet,” he murmured, voice low, a promise and a recognition all at once.

Her gaze lifted to him, piercing, unreadable. “Good,” she said, tilting her head slightly, “because some truths cannot be rushed.”

He felt it then, the pull he had sensed since hearing her name. A recognition older than words, older than years, older than memory itself. And yet, she gave nothing away, offering only her calm presence and that faint, knowing smile that suggested she had always understood more than she let on.

Azriel leaned forward slightly, shadows leaning with him, the weight of unspoken questions pressing between them. “Y/N…” he began, but she only watched him, still, patient, and impossibly serene.

She gestured toward the small kitchen table. “Sit,” she said softly. “It has been a long time since I had anyone to share tea with.”

He obeyed, Cassian following reluctantly, but all Azriel could see was her, her eyes, her presence, the way she seemed both impossibly young and impossibly eternal.

And as they sat, the quiet stretching between them, Azriel realized with a jolt that this moment was only the beginning. The questions, the answers, the history he had glimpsed that night long ago, it had led him here. And somehow, he knew, meeting her like this would change everything.

He stared at her, searching, hoping, and she returned his gaze without a word. And then, with the faintest smile, she said, almost to herself, “Perhaps you have finally found me.”

Azriel’s shadows shivered. Something shifted in the air, not frightening, not threatening, but inevitable. And in that shift, he knew he could not turn away.

Because she was here.

And nothing would ever be the same.

Azriel x reader

Summary: Whispers of a long-lost heir reach Velaris, and curiosity turns into action. Feyre seeks the truth, Amren warns against it, and Azriel feels a pull he cannot explain, leading him toward someone the world thought it had forgotten.

Azriel's POV

The storm began in whispers.

It started with Feyre.

Despite Amren’s sharp warning and the shadow of caution in Rhys’s eyes, Feyre’s curiosity was a tide that could not be turned once it rose. Elain’s words at dinner had haunted her, the strange certainty in her voice, the otherworldly distance in her gaze. And so, three days later, Feyre called a meeting in the River House, long after the city had gone to sleep.

Azriel was there when the firelight flickered over her face, painting gold along her cheekbones as she unfolded a map across the table. Nesta sat beside her, posture stiff, arms crossed as though she had been dragged here against her better judgment. Elain sat quietly at the end of the table, her hands folded in her lap, eyes still wide and soft but not unfocused. Tonight she looked present, almost fragile in that awareness.

Amren lingered in the corner, wine in hand, her expression unreadable. Shadows curled around her ankles like smoke.

“I thought we agreed to leave this alone,” she said, her voice smooth and cold.

“We agreed to be cautious,” Feyre replied, her tone firm but not unkind. “But I can’t stop thinking about it. About her.”

Rhys, standing behind Feyre’s chair, rested a hand on her shoulder. “You know better than anyone that old power rarely comes without consequence.”

Feyre looked up at him, the glow of the fire caught in her violet eyes. “If someone truly has the right to that throne, Rhys, shouldn’t we at least know? Shouldn’t Prythian know?”

Nesta let out a quiet scoff. “Knowledge is not the same as peace.”

Elain lifted her gaze, voice soft as snowfall. “But hiding the truth never kept peace either.”

That silenced the room for a moment.

Amren tipped her glass back and sighed. “You’re all fools if you think the crown of the first court can be worn without blood.”

Feyre’s jaw tightened. “I don’t want to claim it. I want to understand it. If Elain saw something, if Y/N truly lives, she deserves to be found before someone else finds her.”

Her words hung in the still air.

Azriel stood near the window, the same position he had taken the night Elain first spoke the name. The city lights shimmered below like fallen stars. His shadows whispered restlessly, threads of sound curling around his shoulders, tugging at something deep in his chest.

He hadn’t said her name aloud since that night, but it lived in him now. He could feel it. A faint pull, an ache he couldn’t name.

Rhys exhaled slowly, eyes on the map. “What kind of lead do you think you have?”

Feyre spread her fingers across the parchment. “It’s nothing certain, but Elain’s visions showed fields. Rolling hills. A forest edge. Nesta and I searched the old border records, the ones before the courts divided. There was once a small estate there, just beyond the human lands. No one has claimed it for centuries. But…” she hesitated, tracing a faint mark near the edge of the paper. “Someone has been tending the land. There are crops. Fences. Smoke from a hearth. Too isolated to belong to a human village.”

Cassian leaned forward, frowning. “So you think she’s been living there all this time? Alone?”

Feyre met his gaze. “If she’s alive, yes.”

Amren’s low voice cut through. “You have no idea what she’ll be if she is.”

Rhys looked at her. “Meaning?”

Amren’s eyes glowed faintly, like coals banked beneath ash. “Power like that does not fade with time. It twists. It waits. You think she has been living quietly for the sake of peace? Or do you think the world simply forgot how to fear her?”

A ripple of unease passed through the room. Feyre’s expression hardened, but Rhys’s jaw tensed.

Finally, he turned toward Azriel. “What do you think?”

Azriel met his High Lord’s eyes, calm and steady. “If she’s out there, she’s already being hunted. Secrets that old never stay buried forever.”

Rhys studied him for a moment, then nodded. “And you would go?”

“I should,” Azriel said quietly. “If she is what they say she is, she’ll trust no one. Not easily. I can find her without drawing attention.”

Cassian made a low sound, half a groan, half a protest. “Like hell you’re going alone.”

Azriel didn’t look at him. “I’ve done harder things alone.”

“Not this time,” Cassian said. His voice had lost its humor. “If she’s as powerful as Amren says, you won’t be able to reason with her if she feels threatened. Someone needs to watch your back.”

Rhys considered both of them. The fire cracked softly.

At last, he said, “Go. Both of you. Don’t engage unless you must. I want answers, not casualties.”

Azriel inclined his head once. Cassian nodded, already restless to move.

Amren set her empty glass down. “You’re chasing ghosts,” she murmured, her silver eyes catching the firelight. “Be careful what finds you instead.”

The night before they left, Velaris was restless. Clouds rolled low over the Sidra, heavy and dark with rain. Azriel stood at the edge of his balcony, wings half-spread, eyes on the distant mountains where the world beyond waited.

His shadows were quieter than usual, subdued but watchful. He could feel the weight of their curiosity, the way they whispered the name they’d learned to crave. Y/N.

He closed his eyes and let the wind brush against him, cold and sharp. There was something beneath it, faint but steady, a pulse, an echo of power that didn’t belong to any court. Ancient, patient, waiting.

By dawn, the rain had stopped.

Cassian met him on the cliffs outside the city, his armor gleaming dully in the grey light. “You sure about this?” he asked, tightening the strap on his sword.

Azriel checked the blades at his thigh. “You weren’t planning to let me go without you anyway.”

Cassian grinned faintly. “You know me too well.”

They launched into the morning sky together, wings slicing through the thinning mist. The air grew colder as they climbed, the peaks of the Illyrian mountains breaking through the clouds like dark teeth.

They flew for hours, the land rolling out beneath them, wild and untamed. The forests grew denser, rivers cut through the earth like silver threads. Every mile carried them farther from the safety of home, deeper into forgotten lands.

For a long while, the only sounds were the wind and the rhythmic beat of their wings. Then Cassian spoke, voice low but thoughtful. “You’ve been different since Elain said her name.”

Azriel didn’t respond at first. He adjusted his flight, eyes scanning the horizon.

Cassian pressed. “You’ve hunted hundreds of ghosts and stories, but this one feels personal. Why?”

Azriel’s gaze stayed fixed ahead. The air smelled of pine and rain. “Because it is,” he said quietly.

Cassian looked over. “You know her?”

“No,” Azriel said. “At least, I don’t think I do.” He hesitated, searching for words. “It’s strange. When I heard her name, it felt… familiar. Like a sound I had been waiting to hear without knowing it. I keep thinking I’ve met her before, but I can’t remember when or where.”

Cassian frowned. “Maybe you crossed paths when you were a boy?”

“Maybe,” Azriel said. His voice grew even softer. “There was a feeling once. Back then. Like someone was watching over me. I used to think it was the Mother, or my shadows. But now…” His throat tightened, and he let the thought fade into the wind. “Now I’m not so sure.”

Cassian studied him a moment longer, but he didn’t push. “Well, if she’s as ancient as they say, maybe you did meet her. Maybe she’s been waiting for you to find her again.”

Azriel didn’t answer. He only flew harder, faster, until the mountains fell away and the human lands stretched wide and endless before them.

When they crossed into the human realm, the shift was palpable. The air felt heavier, older. The magic thinned but didn’t vanish, it changed, bending into something foreign.

Cassian slowed beside him. “You feel that?”

Azriel nodded once. “Old wards. Broken, but still there.”

“Think she put them up?”

“Someone did.”

They descended toward a valley blanketed in fog, the faint outlines of fields and fences visible beneath the haze. A thin trail of smoke rose from a small chimney near the edge of the woods.

Cassian’s voice dropped low. “Looks quiet.”

Azriel didn’t answer. His gaze locked on the cottage below, on the small figure moving between the barn and the house, her skirts brushing through the tall grass.

For a moment, the world stilled. The wind, the forest, even his own heartbeat seemed to pause.

He didn’t need shadows to tell him. He knew.

Y/N.

She was alive.

And somehow, impossibly, she was looking straight at him.

Azriel x reader

a/n - I was really excited to post part II so I might have rushed it a little bit, but I am already halfway done with part III! I haven't decided how many parts of this I will post yet but I am really excited about the direction I am envisioning for this story!

Summary: Years of solitude have kept her hidden, a life shaped by routine and quiet. But the world beyond her fields has not forgotten her, and unseen eyes begin to watch, drawing her toward a past she thought she left behind.

The mornings began before the sun.

The cottage always woke first, its bones stretching, the roof sighing with the chill. Y/N stirred with it, rising from her small bed as the first grey light crept through the shutters. Her breath clouded faintly in the air. Another cold morning.

She dressed without hurry, the fabric of her skirts soft from years of wear, her fingers finding the ties by habit. Her hair was gathered back, the movement easy, unthinking.

When she stepped outside, dawn still lingered half-asleep across the fields. Mist drifted low over the furrows, and the last of the night stars faded behind it. The air smelled of wet grass and turned earth. A robin called somewhere in the hedge, its song clear and brave against the hush.

She crossed the yard with slow steps, boots whispering over damp soil.

“Morning, my beauties,” she said softly as she opened the barn door. Her voice came out rough with sleep, but the sound made the hens stir and cluck as if they understood. “Yes, yes, I’m late again.”

The goats bleated next, indignant, and she smiled despite herself. Their little hooves clicked impatiently on the boards as she filled the trough.

“Greedy things,” she murmured, reaching to scratch one behind the ear. The animal leaned into her hand with an eager huff.

Her movements were sure and familiar. She had done this a thousand times, maybe more. The quiet rhythm steadied her heart in a way nothing else did.

As she worked, her mind wandered. The sound of grain spilling from her palm, the smell of straw, it all felt older than she was, older than the cottage or the farm. A life that belonged to her and yet didn’t.

When she finished tending the animals, she wiped her hands on her apron and paused at the barn door. The mist had begun to thin, curling away from the fields as if it were being drawn toward the forest beyond.

The line of trees stood dark and still. Watching.

She looked away quickly.

“Head down, eyes sharp,” she said under her breath. The words fell from her tongue before she could stop them. Old words, strange, formal. She frowned at herself, unsure why she’d said them at all. It was a bad habit she hadn't been able to let go of over the years.

By the time the sun climbed over the hills, she had pushed the thought aside. There was bread to make, fences to check, a garden to weed before the frost came again. The work kept her hands busy, and the steady movement of her day left little room for odd memories to settle.

The air warmed by midday. She knelt by the rows of herbs, dirt pressing under her fingernails as she worked the soil loose around their roots. The scent of rosemary and sage clung to her fingers. Bees drifted lazily from flower to flower, unhurried.

When she straightened, brushing soil from her skirts, she caught sight of the horizon, the faint shimmer of heat rising off the fields, the forest edge hazed with distance. For a heartbeat, she thought she saw something move among the trees. A shape, dark and still against the light.

She blinked, and it was gone.

“Just the wind,” she whispered, though the air was perfectly calm.

Her afternoon passed quietly. The rhythm of chores filled the hours: kneading dough until her arms ached, gathering apples from the trees out back, mending the small tear in her shawl. When she pricked her finger with the needle, she hissed and shook her head.

“Mind your hand, child,” she muttered softly, the scolding so instinctive she almost looked over her shoulder for the voice that had once said it to her. No one was there. Only the ticking of the clock and the low hum of the kettle on the stove. Another habit she had yet to break.

By dusk, the world had turned to gold. The sun sank behind the hills, lighting the fields in a last, quiet blaze. Y/N stood at the edge of her porch for a moment, watching the light fade, her arms folded loosely across her chest.

It was a good life. Small, steady, honest. She told herself that every evening.

When the sky darkened fully, she lit her single candle and set it by the window. The little flame cast gentle light across the walls, softening every edge. She sat for her meal, listening to the faint crackle of the fire and the night sounds beginning outside, the chirr of insects, the distant call of an owl.

She had lived alone for so long that silence had become its own kind of company. It no longer pressed on her; it held her.

Until it didn’t.

A sound broke through it, a low snap, like a branch giving way beneath weight. Not close, but not far. She could almost hear the hiss of someone's breath following the noise.

Her spoon stilled. The night beyond her window seemed to deepen. She didn’t move, only listened. One heartbeat. Two.

Nothing followed.

Her pulse slowed again, steady, measured. “Old wood,” she murmured. “The wind.”

She blew out the candle and crossed the room, the faint glow from the hearth guiding her to bed. The sheets were cool and smelled faintly of lavender from the garden.

She lay down slowly, pulling the blanket to her chin.

I am trying my hand at writing fanfiction again. I'm about 6 years out of practice but I am currently on an Azriel high and decided that I would start writing all my fantasies/day dreams that live in my head rent free. I'm a little rusty and have to write around my work schedule, but I'll be writing part 2 to the Shadows of a Crown Unseen fic before the week is over.

15 year old me is kicking her feet that 26 year old me has started writing again. Please feel free to message me any ideas you want to read about or just to chat!

Azriel x reader

Summary: Elain whispers a name, and something deep inside Azriel stirs, a reaction rare and unsettling, one he cannot understand. The shadows echo it, and suddenly he knows he cannot ignore her.

Sweat rolled down Azriel’s temple and disappeared into the collar of his leathers. The wind screamed in his ears as he flew, wings cutting through the night. Cassian’s voice carried behind him, loud and exasperated.

“Slow down, shadows! You’re going to take out my wings trying to prove a point!”

Azriel ignored him. He angled higher where the air thinned and the stars stretched endless above the world.

Since the war with Hybern ended, sleep had been a stranger. Every time he closed his eyes something inside him stirred awake again, a tension with no name and no end. He knew that feeling. He had lived with it his entire life, but now it felt different. There was no war to fight, no enemy to hunt, no monster to kill. Only peace. And somehow that was worse.

Rhys and Feyre had found joy in rebuilding. Cassian and Nesta were mated, spending their days between sparring and loving each other so fiercely that everyone else learned to stay out of the way. Amren had settled with Varian in her own sharp and feral way. Even Elain had begun to find her footing again. She laughed more, sometimes even visited Lucien in the Day Court.

Everyone had someone.

Everyone except him.

He filled the quiet with work until Rhys forced him to rest. He helped Cassian train the priestesses, pushed himself harder, further, faster. He even let Gwyn’s bright humor pull him into friendship, though they both quickly realized that was all it would ever be.

So he trained alone. It was the only thing that quieted the noise in his mind.

“If you can’t keep up, just say it,” Azriel called over his shoulder, his voice even.

Cassian’s laugh echoed across the wind. “Please. You couldn’t lose me if you tried. You fly like an old man.”

Azriel’s mouth curved slightly. “And yet I’m still ahead of you.”

“You mean barely,” Cassian said, drawing level. “What are we doing, Az? You trying to outfly your thoughts again?”

Azriel didn’t answer. He tilted his wings and dropped into a dive. The wind howled. Cassian swore and followed, landing hard beside him on the balcony of the House of Wind.

Cassian flexed his wings, grinning. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

Azriel tugged his leathers tighter. “You talk too much.”

Cassian laughed, clapping him on the back. “And yet you keep me around. Must be love.”

“Or pity.”

Cassian’s grin widened. “I’ll take either.”

“Come on,” he said as they stepped inside. “Nesta’s still in the ring. She’ll say I’m avoiding her again.”

Nesta was, in fact, still training when they reached the courtyard. Her braid was loose and sweat gleamed along her neck as she corrected one of the priestesses’ stances. The air rang with the sound of steel and breath.

Cassian leaned against the railing, arms crossed, eyes soft with pride. “Look at them. I can barely keep up anymore.”

“She’s effective,” Azriel said, watching the sharpness in Nesta’s movements.

Cassian chuckled. “You mean terrifying and effective.”

Nesta turned toward them as if sensing their eyes. “You’re late,” she called, voice cool.

Cassian spread his hands. “Azriel needed air. I’m being supportive.”

“You’re being annoying,” she said.

“Same thing.”

Her eyes rolled skyward but her mouth twitched, a smile threatening before she turned back to the ring.

Azriel stayed a moment longer, watching the priestesses train. There was strength in the rhythm of their blades, quiet and deliberate. He admired it. They were rebuilding themselves piece by piece, just as he was trying to do.

Dinner that night was loud. Cassian’s laughter boomed, Mor’s stories filled the air, Feyre smiled softly beside Rhys as he watched her like she was the only thing that existed. Even Amren looked entertained, in her own cool and predatory way.

Azriel sat at his usual place across from Rhys, Elain beside him. Her presence was gentle, grounding.

Cassian was in the middle of another ridiculous story when Mor cut in. “That is not how it happened,” she said, laughing.

“You weren’t even there,” Cassian replied.

“I was the one who saved you,” she said.

“You distracted the wrong guard.”

“I distracted the right one,” Mor said. “He just didn’t survive it.”

Rhys chuckled quietly. “Remind me to never send the two of you on a diplomatic mission together.”

Amren lifted her glass. “Diplomacy is wasted on them.”

“Better than being boring,” Cassian muttered.

Feyre laughed softly and leaned against Rhys’s shoulder. The warmth of the room wrapped around them all.

Until Elain went still.

Her fork slipped from her hand and hit the plate with a sound that cut through the chatter.

“Elain?” Feyre asked, her voice careful.

Elain didn’t look at her. Her gaze had gone unfocused, lips parting as if she were listening to something none of them could hear.

“She ran,” Elain said quietly. “Long ago, before the courts were divided.”

The table went silent.

“She was meant to rule them all,” she continued, her voice distant. “But she hid. She hid so well that even the stars forgot her.”

Cassian straightened in his chair. Nesta froze.

“Elain,” Feyre said again, cautious and soft, “who are you talking about?”

Elain blinked, her voice trembling. “The heir. The last one. She’s alive.”

Then her eyes cleared. Confusion washed over her face. “I don’t know what I just said.”

No one spoke.

Dinner ended quietly.

Later, they gathered in Rhys’s office. The fire burned low, shadows stretching long across the marble floor.

Cassian paced, restless. “You can feel it. The human queens are whispering again. Spring is a mess. Autumn’s too quiet. If someone doesn’t take control soon, this peace will break.”

Feyre frowned. “You think we should be the ones to do that.”

Cassian glanced at Rhys. “You already lead, whether you admit it or not. Maybe Prythian needs that officially. One ruler. One command.”

Rhys leaned back in his chair, calm as ever. “Unity doesn’t come from a crown.”

Azriel stood near the window, watching the lights of Velaris flicker far below. His shadows curled along the glass. “He isn’t wrong,” he said. “Division has always been our weakness.”

Feyre’s gaze found him. “And you think one ruler would fix that?”

Azriel’s expression didn’t change. “Someone will try, eventually. Better it be someone we trust.”

Amren, who had been silent until then, made a low sound of amusement. “Perhaps that’s why Elain opened her pretty mouth tonight.”

Cassian turned. “You think she was seeing something real?”

Amren smiled, all teeth and shadows. “You’d be a fool to dismiss her visions.”

Rhys’s tone sharpened. “You know something.”

“I know many things,” she said lazily, turning her wine glass in her hand. “Some are better left sleeping.”

Mor crossed her arms. “You’re talking about the old stories again.”

Amren’s eyes gleamed. “Stories have roots. Sometimes they still breathe.”

Feyre tilted her head. “Do you remember the name?”

For a moment Amren’s expression shifted. The air seemed to still. Then she said, “Y/N.”

The name hung in the air like the echo of a bell.

Azriel froze. His heart stumbled once before steadying again. His shadows recoiled from the sound, then crept closer, restless and uncertain.

Feyre glanced around the room. “Who is that?”

Amren finished her wine and set the glass down. “Someone the world forgot,” she said quietly. “Perhaps wisely.” She paused at the door, the firelight catching the edge of her smile. “But not everything buried stays lost.”

And she was gone.

The room stayed silent long after the door closed.

Cassian’s usual humor was nowhere to be found. Rhys sat thoughtful and still, his eyes on the flames. Feyre’s hand was tight around his.

Azriel said nothing. The name echoed inside him, unfamiliar yet heavy, as if it belonged somewhere deep in his bones.