Friendly Black Hottie

Shoulders back. Head high.

No begging. No fear. No shrinking.

Because when Heaven backs you, nothing can block you.

Disclaimer: I have no idea if these are actual practices with real names. Some hacks I knew of before and learnt, and some I’ve developed myself. 

SANDWICH METHOD. For me, It’s difficult to get into the flow of doing a difficult task. Instead of facing the task head-on, I start with something that's productive but doesn’t take too much mental or physical energy. For example, If I want to study, but I’m not in flow, I’ll just start by doing some Duolingo or Elevate, which prompts me enough to get started. Then after the difficult task, so that I don’t interrupt that productive flow, I’ll do another easy task like tidying up my room. 

5 MINUTES ONLY. If I’m desperate to not do a task at all, like I’m on my period, sick, or overall in a bad mood, I’ll tell myself, just five minutes of doing said task. 90% of the time I keep on going to complete that task. However, in that 10% when I don’t continue, at least I had 5 minutes of progress for that day, so it's not wasted at all. Plus, typically when I don’t follow through after the 5 minutes, it’s a sign that my body or mind is just not up to it today and forcing it will strain me. 

Confidence can get you incredibly far in life and make everything a lot easier; I consider myself a really confident person, so here are a few tips that might help you get there! <3

Eliminate toxic people. I don't care if it's your best friend, boyfriend, or mom; if they are stopping you from being the best version of yourself, it's time to say goodbye.

Fix your posture! Confident people have good fucking posture, and sweety, I just know your posture is not it rn, so please straighten that back.

Do what makes you happy. Who cares what people have to say about it? If it's good for you, do it.

Tell yourself you're that girl. Nobody will believe it if you don't do it, so hype yourself up!

Practice eye contact. I can just tell someone is confident if they can look me in the eyes while having a conversation. It seems much harder than it actually is; pick one of their eyes and just focus on it while you talk.

Speak with tone and expression. Talking in a quiet and monotone manner doesn't necessarily make you look insecure, but talking with expression just sounds more confident.

Make your hand visible. When you hide your hands, it makes you look insecure and uncomfortable.

Mind your own business. This one is really simple; I don't think I have to explain, lmao.

Don't tell people your insecurities because 99% of the time, they didn't notice them before you pointed them out.

Accept compliments. If someone says you look good, don't be like, "oh nooo, I look AWFUL" just say thank you and accept the compliment :)

Stop over-apologizing.  Only say it if you actually did something bad or feel sorry.

Visualize the person you want to be. It's pretty simple, think about who you want to be, then think about how that person acts, their routine, how they talk, etc., and slowly start adapting those habits.

Don't be nervous to ask for help. Instead, change your mindset; people want to help you!

Authenticity radiates, be true to yourself, and you will attract good people like a magnet.

No one is out of your league if you act like it. This entire 'league' thing is made up, so don't put yourself in a box.

Trust yourself. You have a bad feeling; you know it and act on it. If you feel like something is not right, it's probably not. Trust yourself.

Stay calm under pressure. It's crucial to not freak out under pressure; even if you do, try acting as if everything is under control.

When entering a room, don't be on your phone. Look around, introduce yourself, greet people, etc.

smile more :)

walk like you know where you're going, even if you don't lol.

Live for yourself. Constantly work on not caring what other people think. If you like it, you post it. If you want to go there, go. If you like that outfit, wear it. Make decisions for yourself, not for others to validate you. It's your world, and every decision you make is because you want to make it yourself!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start cooking more of your meals at home. Incorporate more healthy ingredients in your meals and/or disguise them in delicious recipes!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start working out regularly, at the gym, in the park or just in your bedroom. Any form of activity counts!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start drinking more water!!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Establish an easy morning and evening routine that you can do everyday

ׂ╰┈➤ Never skip skincare or basic hygiene like showering or brushing your teeth

ׂ╰┈➤ Fix your sleep schedule and sleep 7-9 hours a night

ׂ╰┈➤ Choose to spend less time on your phone and more time outside/with family and friends.

ׂ╰┈➤ Uninstall harmful social media apps

ׂ╰┈➤ Start being productive everyday – read, journal or practice your hobbies more often!

ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself on solo dates! Everybody underestimates this so much, but I promise it makes such a difference in your mood. Go to the spa or salon, take sunset walks, read at the corner cafe while enjoying a warm pastry!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start romanticising your life! Candle lit dinners with your family, spa and rest days, buying flowers or that cute dress or doing face masks while reading at night could make such a great difference!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start complimenting people more often and saying kind things to strangers!

ׂ╰┈➤ Clear out your wardrobe! Find your desired style and get some cute key pieces that go well with anything. Donate old clothes that you aren't wearing anymore!

ׂ╰┈➤ Of course, looks ARE NOT everything in life, but you should try to look as put together as possible in every situation. Use clothes and hairstyles that fit you well, wear perfume, jewelery and accessories, try to have well maintained nails and skin

ׂ╰┈➤ Become well organised by always preparing for a situation ahead of time

ׂ╰┈➤ Always experiment with cooking or baking, with your make up/hairstyle, and try out new places or hobbies too!

ׂ╰┈➤ Stop worrying about other people and their opinions. Cut out all the negativity in your life, they might be ruining your progress!

ׂ╰┈➤ Try to become more confident each day, being confident makes the biggest difference in your life of them all!

Life is more beautiful when you slow down and notice the magic around you. Here's how to romanticize your everyday moments:

 Wake up early to watch the sunrise.

Use your favorite mug for morning tea or coffee.

Write love letters to yourself in a journal.

Go on a solo date to a cozy café.

Light a candle while you work or study.

Play soft instrumental music while cooking.

Take a walk in nature without your phone.

Organize your desk with pastel stationery.

Capture small moments with a disposable camera.

Make your bed every morning.

Wear an outfit that makes you feel confident.

Add fresh flowers to your space.

Watch your favorite childhood movie.

Dance in your room to nostalgic music.

Try a new skincare routine.

Write down three things you're grateful for every day.

Learn calligraphy or start a creative hobby.

Keep a collection of your favorite poems.

Use a fancy pen for your daily notes.

Take a luxurious bubble bath.

Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.

Read a book that inspires you.

Keep a vision board of your dreams.

Watch the stars on a clear night.

Use aromatherapy oils for relaxation.

Write a letter to your future self.

Wear perfume even if you’re staying home.

Set up a cozy nook for reading or journaling.

Look for beauty in small details.