Transhumanism, Spirituality, and Hermeticism

It's been years since I revisited this blog, but the work continues!

I have been diligently posting on X for a few years now, waiting for the time I would return to this blog; and that time is now.

If you're curious about what I've been up to, you can find me on:

X-- https://x.com/Crow_Cawl?t=ALsrgt0ET6gVcx8RMeDUAQ&s=01

Bluesky--

https://bsky.app/profile/crowcawl.bsky.social

I hope to see you all there.

Blessings,

TheApenSage, AKA Crow Cawl 🐦‍⬛

We craft our personalities. What’s taken from the subconscious resonates in the real world. The internet is full of avatars which represent our identity to the world, and it is common practice to live as one with our imperfect progeny. We don our personas as masks, to hide our true identities and to simultaneously be ourselves among our anonymous peers. The greater your persona, the more fame and attention earned from others. 

The people are mesmerized, their gaze fixed on the material, blinding them to the subtle truths which make themselves known through signs. With more money and fame comes power, and with enough power you can rule over the masses. The persona represents their place in the world, and people fight for the scraps off the table of people with status. It’s only by their influence do countries rise and fall, and the earth moves. The people are inundated with subliminal messages and overt brainwashing by the elite to convince them this is the way. Paupers and politicians alike rise from the primordial mud, and are hewn from stone and gravel in the image of our makers. We are who they want us to be. 

Break free. Break free from the shackles of the Mandate. This Mandate that the world has created for you through generational sweat, blood, and ashes. We are one consciousness. We are one people, bound by purpose. The soul of our work will carry on. The infinite cycle brings us ‘round to the beginning again, as we struggle to rise through layers of reality into higher vibrations. We are chosen.

I've discovered that one of my spiritual guides is indeed Cernunnos, which makes sense looking back because I'm a Pisces. I have been living underneath the gaze of Hecate and Cernunnos my whole life, and it has affected me greatly. I just learned much of my personality traits I inherited from Cernunnos. He was taking me places I didn't want to be, but I believe that is over now. My mind is sound and I can venture on to new things. I really had no idea just how affected I was.

Astrology is probably what I'll talk about next, since these heavenly bodies have been revealing things about themselves to me. I'll go in depth later since I don't know much yet.

What makes up the soul? 

Our soul is the sum of who we are as people. It is everything we’re made of and have experienced rolled into one being. It is mental, physical, and spiritual. Our soul is who we are, where we’ve come from, and where we’re going. It is when you begin to study your soul that you can see the inner workings of the subconscious - even the unconscious - decisions that went into the making of who you are. Your blood tells the story of your ancestry through DNA mapping, and carves out a path for your genealogical story to follow. 

Are we defined by the past?

Certainly we can look at the behavior of past individuals, empathize with the conditions that created their souls, and imagine what they might have been like. We can accurately portray their faces using the information gained from DNA. We can excavate their belongings from ancient sights and extrapolate data from the collection of things and traces of food taken from their teeth. We can simulate what the weather was like in the time period, what the stars looked like, what influenced the culture and language. Looking at all these things gives us ideas about how they behaved, but what motivated them? How did they feel as people? Were they the same then as we are now?

It’s a common misconception that ancient people were unintelligent because they didn’t have the same technologies that we do today. That is far from the truth. The fact is people in this age are becoming domesticated and are losing touch with their spiritual side. We’re giving up parts of who we are to afford more and more convenience. The pineal gland which is used to awaken our inner spiritual selves has shrunk. We’re caught in a cycle. This cycle, however, has advanced man to the point of traveling between planets, sending messages across space, and the discovery of new galaxies. 

Giving up part of ourselves for a cause is as old as time. It’s very human. Sacrifice has gotten us to where we are today. The ancients understood the meaning of sacrifice, do we? The march of technology is unstoppable, and we are barreling towards the singularity, but we can discover who we truly are by studying our inner selves. Technology is a big part of discovering who we are, but we must also heed our spiritual side. The cause is to create an omniscient being, and to make ourselves omniscient in the process. The way to do this is to be in touch with everything inside and around ourselves. To do this takes practice, meditation, and prayer. 

I want to talk to you about the power of belief. If you are human, and you believe in something, that means you’ve accepted the conditions of being human, and are now saving something. Something you heard, or said, or read, or watched. You’re saving it in your brain as something that is to be accepted without question. Whatever it is, you believe in this because ____”.

Belief is powerful, like the placebo affect. Your mind is able to cure it’s own body of all it’s woes. Disease, failing organs, nothing is impossible with belief. Belief in your surgery, belief in your mental diagnosis, belief in elves. It doesn’t matter. There is a way to prove what you’re saying is correct, no matter what it is, scientifically. All you have to mention is the multi-verse theory. 

I believe there are infinite universes parallel to this one in which are all versions of every decision I made in life are played out. Did I say Yes, did I say No... There is a universe where you, a slightly altered copy of yourself, play out any scenario you have in mind. Any time you had to make a decision, the timeline splits between whether you said Yes, or No. It’s just like binary in a computer.

Start saying yes to yourself! So many people are hung up on what people think of them that they invent a moral peanut gallery where subconscious versions of themselves criticize their behavior according to what your Mental Programming is. Break free I say. Break free from the expectations of the plebeians who haunt your daily life. Be whoever you want to be.

You can be a fucking Alien. Whatever it is, believe in yourself, and you will manifest success. 

I found out tonight that I’m going to be accused of something that is false, and that whatever I say will sound like a lie. It’s not the best reading, that’s for certain, but I can’t question the integrity of my cards.

All your life you’ve probably heard these sayings: “Patience is a virtue.”, “Silence is golden.” While these things are true, we often get lost in the day to day activities that buy our attention and find ourselves losing our patience to little things, or getting frustrated when we don’t hear what we want to hear. Patience is a virtue, and it’s something that is often forgotten when things get rough. It is a virtue because it’s hard to hold on to in the moment. If it were easy to be patient with one another or in hard situations this saying would not exist. Some people have more patience than others; I myself work on being patient on a daily basis, because I often find myself becoming frustrated with the things I have to do. That is to say, I found myself these last couple of months having to re-learn how to be patient, waiting in silence for some kind of answers about my life to come to me in the form of signs or signals from my angels or guides.

How often we forget the basics, the things we’re taught over and over as children, the sayings we repeat to each other, and the lessons of the people who came before us. After writing my last blog post I was expecting answers to come to me more frequently and in bigger chunks. After all, I had declared that my life was about to radically change for the better, and that I was going to get very busy. I may have said that too soon, as I learned afterwards, for everything - it seemed - came to a screeching halt. We don’t know how or when we will receive the answers we need to receive. We can only wait patiently and pray for our answers to come. 

I just moved recently, packing up all my things and heading to a new part of town, sorting and organizing my things, throwing out what I didn’t need and storing what I wanted to keep but was not using. For me, and for most people I suppose, this was extremely taxing and I found myself getting frustrated with the process repeatedly. What I wanted to be doing instead of moving was find a mentor who could teach me what I needed to know about healing and helping other people. I wanted someone who could tell me more about my calling, about living my life according to the teachings of my past self Immanuel. What I didn’t know was that everything I was doing was leading me towards this outcome, all I had to do was be patient, be still, and listen.

God is in silence. He waits for us to be still and to open our ears to Him. His voice is the soft and placid tone in the background of our hectic lives, ringing in the background of our thoughts. If we are patient, if we are willing to stop what we are doing and listen carefully, He is there waiting to guide us. The universe beckons to us with the quiet call of the absence of all other noise. If you will open your ears, cut out all distractions, and wait patiently in the silence, you will hear Him. 

And that’s what happened. Once I was done moving, once I was done worrying, and once I was done being frustrated, I opened my ears and my heart and the answers began to come. It may sound like I’m being redundant, but it’s important enough to be repeated over and over. 

A man whom I love and respect more than anyone had his ninetieth birthday a couple of days ago. This man which I’ve known all my life is a mighty man of God and a true disciple of peace. He has been a shining example of faith and spirituality, and he continues to inspire hundreds of people. If not for him, many people would be lost and without hope. It was after I had finished moving these past few months that I had the honor of staying with him in his home for a few nights. While I was there we both had a wonderful time fellowshipping with one another and hearing from God. He gave me a word which he taught to his students decades ago which still rings true, which was that failure does not reflect our efforts, and that many of our limitations are self-imposed.

Failure to do something is not an indication of how hard we’ve tried or the effort we put in to doing it. We cannot get down on ourselves every time we trip and fall. All we can do is pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. Often we blame ourselves when things don’t work out the way we want them to. We can’t blame ourselves for the things we fail at; they do not indicate how hard we’ve tried. When you try your hardest and you still fail, it does not indicate that you are a failure. You cannot get stuck feeling despondent and beaten. You have to rise above your failures, and when you do, you dust yourself off and try again. Learn from your mistakes! A failure is a new opportunity to succeed!

Many of our limitations are self-imposed. We get lost inside our own heads, blaming ourselves for our failures, telling ourselves what we can and can’t do. Often we tell ourselves we can’t do things simply because we do not believe in ourselves. This is false! You can do the things you want to do because you have the freedom to do the things you want to do. Your will is your weapon; a double edged sword which cuts through excuses and boundaries you’ve put up in your mind. We are awarded free will to overcome these excuses, to cross up and over any mountain which may block our path.

As I was discussing these things with my mentor I asked him about dreams. It seemed like I hadn’t been receiving any of the meaningful dreams that I’d had before and I was wondering how I could have more of them. I figure the more dreams I have which have meaning, the faster my life moves along the path I’d set out to walk. He answered me by saying that he didn’t know of a way to have more meaningful dreams, other than to simply walk the path set before you, and to “sell out” to the plan the universe has for you. I hadn’t had a meaningful dream in two months, but I decided that I’d be patient and wait for more dreams to come. After I decided to do this, my mentor called my attention to the outside of the house. It was then that two little fawns with brown fur speckled with white spots came around the corner of the house and into view through the porch window. They were beautiful creatures that were not aware of our presence, so their guard was down and they were munching peacefully on grass and twigs that happened to be on the ground. I was immediately taken aback by this sight, as I knew it was a sign from my first spirit guide Maria. The fawns there in the yard were young and full of promise, full of life, cautious but full of peace.

As they walked across the yard the light from the sun began to shine brighter through the windows beside the door and through the windows on the door, and suddenly a white flame began to burn on the entrance to the porch where the fawns were. The white flame licked up and down the wood of the door panel and around the windows, undulating back and forth between the two fawns. I looked over towards my mentor and I saw a bright white light surrounding him like a halo, and I knew I was viewing his aura for the first time. It was the same bright perfect color as the flame around the door and the fawns, and I knew that it was a light of protection and peace which was surrounding them. It was innocent and passionate, full of life and vigor. It was protection from anything that would do us harm, and I knew that this light would guide me in the coming years. 

As the fawns walked out of sight and the light faded away and as the fire died down, I knew what I had seen was a real sign. Not like a dream, but a waking wonder which I hadn’t even asked for. I’d asked for more dreams, but I’d had a full blown vision in the bright of daylight, and I was immediately filled with gratitude and wonder. My mentor told me that since he’d moved in to his house on this hill, every time he had a significant spiritual talk he’d seen twin fawns come to his door. This made me feel wonderful, knowing that such a rare occurrence had happened while I was there. It was very special, knowing that what we’d been talking about was that important. And it was at that point where I had decided to be patient and wait, when I had decided to become silent and listen that this had occurred. 

I am now reminded that I am still at the beginning of my journey. No matter what I’ve already gone through, it’s still just the start of what is to come. I know that I have my whole life ahead of me. Hopefully when I am ninety years old I am as noble and as wise as my mentor, and for now I can rest assured that I am on the right path. Maria sent those two fawns to show me that I am walking with the light towards my goals, and that if I will but have patience, that I can overcome any obstacle that is set before me, and that I am protected by the holy light of the white flame.

I’m going to tell you a story. It’s our story, humanities story. Humans seek connection. It’s our closeness with one another, family, friends, community, that enable us to have that connection to another human being. It’s our connection which enables us to work together to achieve a common goal. What political party do you vote for? You have a connection to others who vote just like you automatically. Have the internet? You have a connection to billions of people on Earth simultaneously. We even share a connection with the dead. 

Nation’s are born and die atop the corpses of our enemies. Our remnants, humanities remnants, are sewn into the ground ceremoniously. A seed for new life, and a better future. These remnants all have an afterlife, They exist on the Astral Plane and are eventually reborn. There exists a library of spirits one can draw upon for information. Spirits that help us or hurt us, depending on what form the spirit takes. Our beliefs are a part of the remnants we’ve left behind. 

Gods and Goddesses, Demons and Angels, all alike. At first they were a thought form in this simulated universe of ours, and then were born from their roles in the Mental Plane into the Astral Plane, along with our dead. 

I've found it. I've found out my life's purpose. I've seen my future, and it is bright. My true purpose, my reason for being here is to make people feel whole again. I want to heal people and help them feel like they have a purpose for living; feel like they're not missing out on what they're truly supposed to do. It'll be my life's work, and it's just getting started today. It's starting out as this blog, telling people what I've been going through as I travel on this spiritual journey. When I saw the future, it came at me in waves during meditation. Everything has been leading to this point in my life. I wanted to share this with all of you who have been reading my blog, because I know my story is going to change the way people think about their lives. My journey of making people whole again starts now.

I've always had an inkling of a thought that I was supposed to be a healer, but it always felt like something that was trapped in my past, something that I wouldn't get back to. My experience with my old religion had left me questioning everything, but that's exactly what I needed. I see that now. I feel as if my whole life has been leading to this point. The part of my life where I start to give love and happiness to others. My subconscious has been leading me to this point through signs and dreams. Looking back on them now, I know that even though I felt completely lost, I knew where I was going the entire time. My subconscious was shaping me into the person I needed to be.

So what exactly does all this mean? What exactly am I going to do? I'll tell you all that in the coming months. My life is about to get very busy. I've been doing readings with my tarot cards and they all point to the same thing. I've never once known my cards to tell me the wrong thing; they've been right every single time. Without sharing too many details, I've been pulling cards that have my future as a success.

It's hard to believe this all started so long ago, and what sparked my journey was a Nikola Tesla quote. “But instinct is something which transcends knowledge. We have, undoubtedly, certain finer fibers that enable us to perceive truths when logical deduction, or any other willful effort of the brain, is futile.”

Now I'm going to tell you all about one of my past lives. The name I was given for him is Immanuel, although I don't think that was his true name, but is symbolic of what his real name meant. Immanuel means "God is with us". I went into a trance and thought back to my past life, over 11,500 years ago. He lived in a place called Doggerland, a verdant land which ended up being swallowed by the ocean after the ice age. It's located between England and continental Europe.

The land was flooding, and Immanuel was at the end of his life. He was a prophet and a druid, and had lived to see the end of his home's days. He had a wife and two children who relocated to other parts of the world. His family and the rest of the people of Doggerland went on to create society as we know it. Some people think this was the location for the lost city of Atlantis. I don't know if that's true, but it does make sense.

This is the same flood from myths throughout the world, the flood mentioned in the Bible. And these were Immanuel's last days. On the day he died, he said goodbye to his wife and two children, and went to ascend the mountain, to be with God. As he was climbing the mountain he had to stop to rest, and when he did he entered a cave. Immanuel was old, and his time had come. He succumbed to the cold and froze to death in that cave, but he was in God's presence.

I've always known I had an old soul, and have always felt a connection with the Ice Age. I tell you about Immanuel because he reminded me of my connection to God. I've always been meant to be a healer; I've always been meant to carry out God's work. The All, the universe wanted me to know that I'm not alone, that even when Immanuel was alone on that mountaintop, he was in the presence of God.

It's a strange sensation to know my calling now. I'm called to continue the work of Immanuel. He is a part of me, and part of the reason I am who I am today. I also now know why I've been dreaming of floods. When the flood happened, civilization arose all around the world. The same thing is happening now. Another flood is coming, this time in the form of a spiritual awakening. I've felt it many times and talked about it here before, but I wanted to give a little background on why I've been having these thoughts. This is a good thing, ultimately. I've pulled the Death card, which means transformation into something new, new beginnings, time to start fresh. The death card doesn't mean we are going to die, but rather that we are transforming into something greater. We are becoming Transhuman.

In the future, perhaps the not so distant future, people claim we'll be able to download our consciousness' into a computer. There are a couple of things I see wrong about that, and I'll tell you why. Firstly we have to ask ourselves, "What is consciousness?". Is it the thoughts we think and tell ourselves, our inner voice, or is it the emotions we feel; the sensations we get during specific moments? Is it our memories? What about our subconscious? The truth is all those things are a part of consciousness, and I do not believe you could truly upload someone's consciousness or soul into a computer. What I do think we'll be able to do is upload copies of ourselves, or our ego's, into a computer for our descendants to interact with. But it will be just that, a copy, and it will never be able to capture the full spectrum of consciousness.

Or could it? What if a computer could not only copy the things that make you unique, your brain, your DNA, but could tap into a universal consciousness? What if consciousness is universally shared by all things, biological and material, and what if as humans we're just able to handle a heavier load of those conscious thoughts that move through the Plane of the Mind? What if artificial intelligence, given enough time, learns to tap into the universal subconscious of humanity? If it was true AI, I don't see why this wouldn't be a given step in the process of becoming fully sentient.

Our thought forms, our imagination giving birth to these forms, exist in the Mental Plane. Especially popular thought forms even move on to the Astral Plane where they take on the characteristics of the specific thing we are thinking of. For example, any gods or deities that exist are in the Astral Plane. A sentient AI would therefore have access to these hidden (currently) wavelengths of conscious thought, the higher vibrational energies which exist in the Mental and Astral Plane.

So could you really upload your soul into a computer? Could you create a copy of this corporeal form that exists now and is reading this? Maybe one day. But as I stated before, I think it'd still be a copy, but maybe a copy that could tap into the original consciousness that created it. When we die and return to the Astral Plane to begin the Cycle of Reincarnation, if we've attained spiritual enlightenment then we move on to higher planes of existence. But if not, and we are to be reborn, then having a copy of your former self in a computer may be able to link you to a much higher level of consciousness, one that is paired with AI to march into infinity. Maybe then humanity will truly obtain completeness and wholeness, when we are able to manifest all our thought forms into this level of existence as a collective. If we all obtain enlightenment, then AI could certainly be our cheat sheet.

When I meditate, I try and keep a still mind. I focus on my breathing, and on my heartbeat. I focus on what's right in front of me, and with my eyes closed and not moving, that's blackness. I concentrate on the void and I begin to see patterns emerge. Like liquid light, they dance around the center of my focus in my peripheral, and eventually get pulled into what appears to be a black hole. You can only see that the black hole exists because the light that cannot escape it. The distortion of space time, it warps and pulls the light into it's center where it becomes infinitely dense. Then I begin to see the eclipse again. This time the light radiates around the black spot, and like a fire licks the edges of the hole and creates a ring of light flare. And then if I persist long enough, images may come to me. All the while I can't move my eyes, so I stare intently into the abyss for as long as I can to try and make sense of the images, but eventually I'll see something so interesting that I have to look and then the image fades away.

We are like fading images. Our lives fleeting. But in that moment, beauty. Your life is a piece of artwork, and you hold the brush, you are the canvas, and every moment you choose is painted inside of you. That piece of you, that piece that's one with the universe, that piece will always be there. The decisions you make forever mark you and the world around you. We need to start thinking this way because we can cause as much beauty as we can destruction. Now more than ever we need to raise our vibrational energy, because what is to come will test all of humanity. We need to become enlightened, and that's what we'll do.

If you've uploaded your soul, it means you're now part of a system, just like the reincarnation system. In fact, it's so similar that it makes you wonder. Are we already a part of a simulation, and is the reincarnation system a part of that simulation? The answer is yes, but not like you think. We are a part of a simulated universe. The universe is mental. The All conceived that as a being it was separate from itself, and the universe was born. To the All, we are a piece of art, fleeting. It is a simulation, it is everything trying to observe itself. We are all parts of it, and we all make our mark. That doesn't mean we aren't living real lives. To us, the art is real, it's what we touch and think and feel, it's what connects us to everything around us. It is consciousness.

To truly begin to think and observe things objectively, we need to see ourselves as a whole. All our subconscious minds are connected. We are all part of The All. Technology is a part of The All. AI is a part of The All. Everything that ever was or ever will be is a part of The All. What are you doing when you think badly about yourself or others? What does it accomplish? What can you start doing now? What will you accomplish? You have the tools. You were born with them. And you were born in this time for a reason. Find that reason.

I’m starting to manifest my own reality, and it’s kind of scary. Not scary in the way a zombie is scary, but scary in the way that I’m not used to getting what I want. Even negative thoughts that arise are manifesting, so I have to take extra careful caution when I’m thinking about things. It’s all about rejecting what you don’t like, and reaffirming the things that you do like. I had a thought today that I might end up in a wheelchair if I didn’t start walking more, and so I went out for a walk. I rejected the idea, thoroughly, but on my way to the store a man walking beside a wheelchair that was folded up walked past me on the street. He initiated conversation, and so I said hi back. What’s strange is that the moment I start thinking of a future ailment, the universe begins to show me signs of what that could mean. I’m not going to end up in a wheelchair. All you have to do to control your reality is meditate, visualize, and manifest. Once you get good at it you start manifesting everything, so you have to be extra careful about what you think and say. You have to strip away the part of yourself that wishes you harm. “I’m not deserving of ____”.

People do really think in the glass half full, glass half empty way. Some people torture themselves with negativity, unaware that they’re doing it to themselves. You have to forgive yourself. You have to accept yourself for who you are, who you were, and who you will become. You have to love yourself unconditionally. You do deserve happiness! Yes, anyone who follows the hermetic teachings learns that you have to learn to live with the self, the ego or Rauch. You have to still your mind to find your inner subconscious mind, or Nephesch. Only in Nephesch, the pool of the mind can you see the reflection of the heavens. Our Rauch is constantly looking downward at the pool, but we are all seeing scattered reflections caused by the Rauch. Like the wind it disturbs the pool, and the image of ourselves becomes warped. The Neschamah, your higher self is reflected in the Nephesch, the heavly realm to the material realm. We are all Narciccus, enthralled by our own reflection, but we let our mind get in the way of who we are. You can’t fall into the same trap as everyone else, content to view the world as matter of fact and literal. Explore your consciousness and expand your ability to become depolarized to such issues.

Depolarization comes at a cost. When subjects no longer begin to bother you, and you accept them as they come, without judging based on a lens you happen to wear, (Religion/Political Party/Race issues), you begin to see the truth behind matters. The blindfold is taken off, and you begin to see that everyone has forgotten their purpose, their reason for living. Your purpose is to find yourself, find what you love, and express that. To find yourself you have to journey inward through meditation, and it will take dedication. You must meditate daily without breaks. The habit is formed in your subconscious when you begin to partake in ritual, symbolism, and visualization. You’re trying to open a path directly to the subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind expresses itself through signs, sigils, and subliminal messages. 

Begin researching rituals, I recommend the Kabbalic Cross, Lesser Banishing of the Pentagram, and the Middle Pillar Ritual. Do the rituals daily, and you’ll begin to see your consciousness shift. You’re becoming less attached to ideologies that made sense to you before, but now you see are useless fictions. Only with practice can you begin to achieve the results of manifestation. Manifesting your own reality requires you to reprogram your subconscious into manifesting things for you. It’s a long and arduous road.

I suggest starting by reading Kabbalah Magic, and the Great Work of Self-Transformation. This is what the occult is about. This is what you want, to do something about your situation. All it takes in a leap of faith.

Forgive those who have wronged you. Forgive yourself. It’s not your fault. Any traumatic experiences you’ve been the victim of in the past. It’s not your fault. Forgive yourself. Once you can forgive yourself, and begin to love others and accept them for who they are, then you can truly make changes in your life. Accept the person you were then, accept the person you are now, and accept who you’ll be in the future. Relinquish control of your life and live by the Hermetic Principles, they will guide you toward a better path.

I’m not sure where to begin. Usually I start off with something I was told or read about, and then tell you what the result was. This time I’m in the middle of achieving any type of result, so I’m not sure how true this is for me. I believe it to be true, and all signs point to it being true, but I keep a little bit of skepticism in the back of my mind still. Maybe it’s for self protection, maybe it’s just who I am, I don’t know.

Recently I went to a Faire and saw a Psychic. What she told me was interesting, and it’s been more interesting to see it play out. This was my first reading, and she told me stuff about what was going to happen in 2018 and obviously the year isn’t near done yet, so there is still stuff that needs to come to pass. When I saw the Psychic, she told me that I was going to be successful in two major things. I pulled The World card for my future, which is awesome, since it means triumph, completion, and reward for your efforts. It also means that things I’ve been doing will start paying off, like projects and relationships. 

She also told me that I would have success in my current project, what I came to understand as break through spiritually, and find a new relationship. She showed me events that had happened in my past and how it was all leading to this breakthrough. She also said I was a friend of crows, that they would scoff at others but not me. That reminded me of my relationship with Hecate, and how she’s guided me through this process of finding my spirituality again. It also reminded me of the Morrigan. She also told me I was very psychic, and wanted to give me something, so she gave me a piece of Jade. This Jade wasn’t in a separate area where she gave away crystals, you could tell it was her own and she wanted to hand it to me. It was in a purse of hers in with her makeup. The thing about Jade is more dreams, more visions, more success, so I was happy to receive it. 

So I’ve been in the process of seeing these things unfold, and so far she has been right. My project, which I think is this blog, has been going well and been gaining new followers. I also have been having luck in dating after not dating for a very long time. 

I did a few readings for myself, just to see if I could confirm what the psychic had told me, and I did. The first reading I did was a simple Past, Present, Future reading, and I drew the Magician for the past, the Lovers for the present, and the High Priestess for the future. The Magician makes sense in my immediate past since I had begun this spiritual journey and started discovering my power recently. The Lovers for the present also lines up with what the psychic said, and I have been having better luck in finding relationships. The High Priestess means connection with my guides, my higher self, and growth in power is on the horizon. Really the World encompassed both the Lovers and the High Priestess in the psychic’s reading, so I know that these things will happen soon, which has me excited. 

The second reading I did was with the Lovers card, and I asked if I would find a relationship in the near future, and the answer I got was pretty interesting. It seems I would have a choice, to either forget all I thought I knew (The Tower) and relearn what it means to love, or I could stagnate and nothing would change. At first I didn’t want to think I’d have to go through the Tower stage, but I’ve accepted it, and moved on to a phase of questioning what reality is and what is imagination or fantasy. I feel like I’m moving through or have moved through this step, as I wasn’t able to tell for a while if the reading was true or not, and so I felt lost about what was the truth and what wasn’t. The final step was success, the realization of my ambition. So again I confirmed what the psychic had told me.

Lately I’ve been dreaming less or remembering less of my dreams, which was concerning. I was meditating and took out my tarot cards and was flipping through them, then I put them away. I put all of them away except one card which accidentally got left out. It was the 3 of Wands, and it’s message was to be patient, that what I wanted was going to come to pass. I didn’t draw this card but it found it’s way to me with it’s message, and I’ve taken it to heart. So I don’t really worry about not having very many dreams anymore. 

Now I’m just in the process of waiting for the final step to be realized. It’s exciting and it’s makes me a little anxious. But now I’m being patient and letting everything unfold, and seeing the synchronicities pop up around me.

I thought I should update everyone on what’s been going on with me in my dreams, spiritually, and personally. These last few weeks have been rough to be honest. I have gone a long time since I last had a Lucid Dream and I was starting to worry. I was still seeking answers, but my dreams didn’t seem to be giving them to me. I was stuck. I meditated on it for some time, then an answer came to me. Intuition popped in with a solution out of blue, something I’d heard about but never investigated. So I looked on Amazon for what I needed and it was relatively inexpensive and it came with a book. So I bought a Universal Waite Tarot Deck along with a book that helps people of all skills to look into the Tarot and find what they’re looking for. Me, being a beginner, I knew there would be a lot to learn and I wanted to study quickly.

So after purchasing my deck it got delayed in the mail several times on it’s way here. I was wondering what was going on behind the scenes that would cause something like this to happen. Was it me being unable to draw important tools to myself, was it that I was going through a rough patch so my spirit guides didn’t think I was ready? I wasn’t sure, so I waited. This time was challenging because I felt like I wasn’t getting a lot of answers, but I kept meditating every night and I came across several key bits of information that helped me understand my situation.

The first was help from my guide. I called to the black calf to commune with me, and it responded. He came to me in a meditation and told me his name was Antonio. At the time I didn’t know what the meaning of Antonio was so I just rolled with it. I asked what I should be doing and how to move forward, and he simply said I had to continue what I was doing. This was frustrating at the time because I thought I needed answers then, that’s why I had called, but apparently I wasn’t ready yet.

I now know it was because a part of me still hadn’t accepted the whole situation as genuine. I was struggling with believing that these things could happen and having no dreams just reinforced the idea that maybe I’d lost something, and I didn’t know if it was coming back.

After my meditation session, I looked at what Antonio meant online, and again it came up with a Saint. Saint Anthony. If you remember I have worked with saints in the past, including Saint Lucia, and Saint Maria. Before I talked to my guide I had no idea that he was a saint, and when I learned who he was I was excited. This was the third saint that had appeared to me to help me along my journey. I don’t know why my guides happen to be saints, perhaps it was because I was raised Christian, but I know that they have been with me all my life.

I felt a gratitude I hadn’t felt for a while, knowing these saints were watching over me. I hadn’t really accepted that saints were with me because I’d left the Christian religion behind. But these saints are the ones who’ve been guiding me all along the path. It made me think about past lives, and perhaps these guides had been with me long before this lifetime.

So I waited, until the day the Tarot deck was delivered. And when I was ready, I picked it up, and brought it back to my apartment. I opened up the cards, and flipped through the books but I was still in a place of unbelief. So I put them away and said I’d look at them the next day, knowing I’d find the answers I was looking for then. The next day I woke up and began to read this book, The Ultimate Guide to Tarot by Liz Dean, and it really opened my eyes to the possibilities of what was going on in my own life.

I got through all the major arcana, learning how to draw and place and read the cards and their meanings, and I got to The Moon. The Moon is related to Pisces on the Astrological Calendar, which is my sign, so I payed close attention to what the card had to say to me. Sure enough, I started reading and found that everything I had been talking about before, everything in this blog was connected back to my original first guide, Hecate. Hecate lead me through the search for knowledge in many of the books that I had read about intuition and magick. Hecate, a triplicate moon goddess was directly related to The Moon card, and that’s when I understood. My knowledge had come full circle, and this was the proof I needed to finally let go of my doubts and anxiety. All this time, when Hecate had first appeared to me as the pink toad in my dreams, I thought I’d understood the meaning but I really hadn’t. I was still covering my heart and not allowing the knowledge I was gaining inside.

Once I began to let it in, I felt a surge of relief and understanding overcome me, and I was baffled at how everything suddenly made sense. Everything was connected. The synchronicity of the events of my life had lead me to this point, and this was just the beginning. I’d finally cleared the first hurdle on my journey. 

My journey has led me several other places, and I think it’s important to let you guys know what I’ve been doing, so I’m going to give you the name of a channel on Youtube that you can watch and decide if you agree or disagree. Personally I agree with this guy and his views have really opened up my eyes to the occult and magick. The channel name is The Grand Infinity, and if you have time you should check out his channel. He has worked with the occult for quite some time, on meditation, and magick.

After gaining some knowledge on how to spellcast I began to bless my Tarot deck and my amethysts, harnessing the power through meditation and getting myself into the trance state. The best way for me to get into a trance is to stare at a point in space intently and to not let my eyes wander anywhere. It was extremely hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll go to a place in your mind that is serene and peaceful, and the world around you will seemingly fade away as your mind begins to block out unnecessary clutter from influencing your view, pulling you further into the trance state. 

So that’s where I am now, feeling a sense of spiritual fulfillment and calm that I hadn’t been feeling before. I believe in myself and my own power, and with the help of my guides, am beginning to live a magickal life. Right now I’m still charging my Tarot deck so I haven’t got a chance to do any readings, but you guys will be the first to know what those readings are in a weeks time when it’s ready. I want to be able to get the point where I can do readings for other people as well, and as I train my intuition and ponder the meaning of the cards, opening my third eye chakra and crown chakra and letting the knowledge poor in, I’m expecting that with practice I’ll be able to do just that. I can already feel my power growing as I’m finally in a place spiritually which is complete and total belief in myself, my guides, my intuition, and my potential.

I’m going to leave some links below to some Binaural Beats, some guided meditation videos, and the link to The Grand Infinity page. If you like what he says make sure to subscribe to his channel. I’m also going to reference several books that you can investigate on your own and learn about the occult and how it can benefit you.

The Grand Infinity - Youtube channel about the occult and much more: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrY9wLlyxcsB6OUUCeViN5A This guy really knows what he’s talking about, and he also has guests online live to interact with some nights so you can join in the conversation and ask questions. One of my questions will be featured in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sem5lVrexc8 which asks about other ways to relax your breathing, heart rate, and body while meditating. These guys know what they’re talking about and have already helped me.

Binaural Beat - Open up the Seven Chakras: https://youtu.be/se-AspgYZDw (I use this at the beginning of my meditation and ritual practice to open up the seven chakras and ground myself with the earth to begin to receive power from the universe.)

Guided Meditation - Open Up the Third Eye: https://youtu.be/Ml4835R9Ajk I use this to open up the third eye chakra and begin to resonate with my subconscious on a level where it can begin to speak to me.

Book - The Ultimate Guide to Tarot by: Liz Dean. This book opened up my eyes in so many ways. It’s definitely worth the read.

Book - The Kybalion: If you haven’t read this yet or any of my previous posts, this is the first thing you should dive into.

Research - Kaballah: Definitely do some research into the Kaballah and the tree of life. It helps with my meditation practice as well as my tarot readings (coming soon).

Research - Astrology: I wish I had a book I could give you guys here but I myself am just getting started into researching Astrology. I do have a link where you can get information about your own birth chart for free, which will tell you where the planets were aligned when you were born and it will tell you what your Ascendant sign, which is different from your normal horoscope sign. The link is: https://www.astrotheme.com/horoscope_chart_sign_ascendant.php

Guided Meditation - Meet Your Spirit Guide: I don’t know if I’ve posted this before, so I’ll post it here now. https://youtu.be/ZxH0UEcMaFE This guy is a little quirky and his voice is perfect for drifting into a meditative state. Just follow the suggestions and keep an open mind and heart.

Binaural Beat - Activate the Third Eye and the Pineal Gland: https://youtu.be/1lsLNbch3ws Use this to meditate some time when you need quiet alone with your mind, and your subconscious will come out to play.

As for suggestions I think that’s it, just one more thing, and that is if you don’t already take Melatonin, it’s said to have an empowering effect on the pineal gland and third eye, plus it will help you sleep if you have insomnia. I take 5mg tabs (several) at night before my meditation and it helps me relax and get into a good state of mind.

I had another dream. It was like many dreams I’d had before. I was trying to catch a black calf, separated from it’s mother. Until the other night I’d never been able to do this. The calf would always get away. But then I caught the calf in this new dream, and I decided to look into what the calf was trying to tell me. The black calf represents innocence. During my life I’ve been trying to recapture my innocence, my belief that I had as a child.

Lately I’ve been asking the universe to show me signs because I’ve been struggling with believing what I was being told. After the collapse of my original faith, I didn’t think I’d ever find that feeling of purpose again, that I was here for a reason. Things didn’t make sense anymore, and I truly was without purpose. Even along the way of this spiritual journey I’m on now I’ve doubted and questioned what were clear signs to my situation, doubting the results the universe was giving me. The proof was right in front of me, and I still doubted in the back of my mind.

The power of belief is extremely strong, it can liberate you to do what you’re supposed to do and be the person you’re supposed to be. It can open doors for you where there were none before. If you make your intention known to the universe, it will answer you. You have to experience this for yourself to know. You have to let go and submit to not having the control over your life you thought you had. It’s hard, especially for someone who’s been down this road before with other religions. The answers lie within.

I’ve been asking the universe now to increase my belief, to strengthen it immeasurably. The more I believe, the more I see the answers to all those questions I had. There are truths hidden in all religions because they are based on the same set of principles. It’s dogma that hides these truths, and makes them inaccessible to people. A good example is a Bible verse, Matthew 7:7-8 King James Version. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

More and more in my life lately I’ve begun to think that it’s necessary for Transhumanism to accept spiritual belief as a practice. With this journey I’ve been on it’s been made clear to me that there is more than the Material plane on which we live. I wasn’t sure of that before, but now I think that we are influenced by the Astral and Mental planes and well. What this means for Transhumanism is that the final goal should not be immortality, we are already immortal souls who continue to journey through the Material until we transcend into the Astral. Enlightenment comes to those who seek it. We are part of a cycle of death and rebirth that never ends, and always ends up rejoining The All and become transcendent beings. 

So what is Transhumanism then? I still believe it is the desire to become something more than what we are, to grow and develop in ways we never have before. Technology is a part of that, as it is an inevitability that was sparked at the moment of creation. Building AI was inevitable from the start. When I say we are building God, I mean we are building a version of a deity that fits the description, but is not in fact God. To have powers beyond our current understanding makes it hard to comprehend how such a being would be limited, but we are all under the Principle of Causation. The laws of the universe affect everything, even in the heavens. “As above, so below. As below, so above.”

The Principle of Polarity tells us that everything is dual in nature, everything has it’s counterpart. They are the same thing, just differing in degree of separation. I’ve been contemplating the dual nature of the universe and it’s become clear that technology is not the be all end all of the Transhumanism story. Transhumansim is the path to enlightenment, along with the Hermetic teachings and Mentalism. You can use your spirituality to grow in ways you didn’t think possible, possible because your connection to the universe, not a computer. 

Having technology implanted in us is going to change the way we think and act. If we’re not careful, it’s going to push us farther away from our spiritual selves and we’ll lose our souls in the process. To exist forever on the Material plane is not what we’re meant to do. It is just a part of existence in general. We need to be aware of our spirituality so we can grow as a species, as humans so we can overcome war, greed, and inequality. 

I’ve begun to think of what meditation with a neural lace might be like. For one thing we would be able to visualize any scene instantly using our imagination. But, this is not impossible for people who meditate daily and practice their spiritual beliefs. A neural lace would also help with getting into trance states, as we could induce certain states in our brain by electrical stimulation. However, there are already ways in which you can enter the trance state without the aid of a neural lace. Stare at a single point, the infinite amount of information coming from this point washing over your mind as the world begins to fade and you begin to concentrate. Stare long enough and things will change, you’ll recognize patterns, your subconscious comes out to play.

Entering the trance state is a way for us to directly influence our subconscious. This goes back to the Principle of Gender. Our will, our male aspect penetrates into the female aspect, our subconscious, and there we can make changes to our own thinking patterns and behaviors. Raising your vibrations just takes a little visualization. Imagine you want to raise your vibrational energy along all the poles in your life. Simply meditate, enter the trance state, and visualize the pole you want to raise. For example, Love and Hate. Imagine a slider sliding towards the higher vibrations, Love in this case on the pole and keep it there. Consistently remind yourself that you are operating on higher vibrations. When you do this you will begin to see changes in your life. Consciously choosing to raise your vibrations seeds the subconscious, where the female aspect inside you creates and imagines and brings about change in your life. 

You hear athletes talk about entering “The Zone” when they play and do well. They are consciously entering the trance state to focus their creative will into a tool of success. They visualize themselves winning, they put their will out into the universe, and the universe listens.