fucking bites you

Bad dream bad dream bad dream

I think maybe I got stuck in a time loop?? And then one part of the loop ended with this guy who was important but I forget how punching himself in the face and it just kept getting more bloody and I could hear the bones breaking and he was walking towards me and then I woke up but something else happened I think some got me??

He looked like someone I knew but I don't remember who like maybe my dad but his beard was too long and he was too skinny and I need to get out of bed but I'm scared if I get up something will grab me

Bad dream bad dream bad dream

I think maybe I got stuck in a time loop?? And then one part of the loop ended with this guy who was important but I forget how punching himself in the face and it just kept getting more bloody and I could hear the bones breaking and he was walking towards me and then I woke up but something else happened I think some got me??

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

WAIT NO FUCK I HIT THE WRONG BUTTON

EIGHT I KNOW THE ANSWER IS EIGHT

WAIT NO FUCK I HIT THE WRONG BUTTON

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

@urodelamancer

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife