If my last name was âGullâ, I would name my child either âEllieâ, âOllieâ, or something that begins with the letter âCâ.

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@theambienchronicles
If my last name was âGullâ, I would name my child either âEllieâ, âOllieâ, or something that begins with the letter âCâ.

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talking to myself: â..you know what I mean..?â
Me: âyeah I know what I meanâ
um.. itâs november & this CREED concert is not until august next summer, yet already itâs been sold out apparently, & i am like.. who is listening to all this creed anyways..? ..cause I mean they sure arenât talking about itâŚ. & I just Iâve never met one single person whoâs gone around saying things like âI love creed they make great musicâ
More suspicious than a sketch of the shade
â..a story about 100 Gecs called Laura & the 99 GecsâŚâ

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Ancestors & Incestors
Um. This happened.
So I forgot the term âfuture generationsâ & was talking To the bugs in my house, & I was talking about their ancestors, & how if they ainât already dead then theyâre all gonna die. ..but I couldnât remember the whole âfuture generationsâ thing, so after saying âancestorsâ I referred to the future generations as their âpost-cestorsâ instead.. but then I was like,
âwait, âpost-cestors?â
ââŚpre-cestors..?â âŚ
âancestorsâŚ?â ⌠â..incestorsâŚ???â â
& thatâs what happened.
âI donât have the whys-they-did-its, I just have the whos-they-did-its.â
My future dating profile bio:
âIâm afraid of everything & I think thereâs bugs everywhereâ
âMy predetermined dream lover irons his socks every day,â I confidently stated.
My catâs name is Smeagol.
& he goes like,
âWith so much drama in the C-L-E, itâs kinda hard beinâ S-M-E-A-G..â
His rap name is 2 Snugg.. sometimes he changes that up - to this,
âWith so much drama in the C-L-E, itâs kinda hard beinâ S-N-U double G..â

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Whenever I donât laugh at one of my own jokes, I say âYou donât get it..â to myself
You ân Me
âI am you. That is me.â
- said Me (to Myself)
Al Capellini, a caps llama
(a short story by me)
There goes Al Capellini, the caps llama, (seems heâs always wearinâ multiple caps at once, never did understand it myself, but explains why we call âem that).
See the cup heâs holdinâ, has âAlpacalliniâ writinâ on it? Heard ole Cap got that from his kinfolk as a gift, or somethinâ. Always âsposed it was some kinda llama joke âbout his name, donât know really.
Probly drinkinâ cappuccino, loves that stuff, not as much as alcohol, though. Iâd bet that âAlpacalliniâ cup heâs got there has more alcohol than cappuccino in it, if you catch my meaninâ.
Looks to me like ole Capâs headinâ back down to Acapulco, I âspose thatâs just as good a guess as any other, though. Think it was that alpaca younginâ, Al Paccini, we call âem Alpac, said to me once thatâs where Capâs kinfolk stay.
âCourse, Alpac also says to me, all of âem sing, âstead of just talkinâ, ya know? Heck knows if itâs true, I âspose could be, never been to Acapulco myself, after all.
Got to thinkinâ on it more, started me wonderinâ, I âmember a good while later on, Alpac says to me, âya know, they ainât never talk in Acapulco. Singinâ is all they do, anâ ya know the weirdest part of it? It ainât even the singinâ stuff. Itâs the singinâ is always A CAPPELLA.â
So. Like. How much fun is it to say:
âAtheists: A Thesisâ
Anglerphones (anglophones)
Angler fish, except the dangling glowing part is a corded telephone receiver.
The phone receiver makes a dial tone sound when itâs a baby fish, by the time itâs an adult fish it turns to the *beep beep beep beeeeeep* sound.
Hold the phone cause this fish is off the hook.

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You know when you step in cat puke, & youâre like, OMG ewwwww ..?
WELL.
My cat just stepped in his own puke & he totally stopped moving, looked down at the puke while picking up his foot staring at it like OMG gross wtf?!
The tables have turned, my friend.
Catten
A word I created.
(Pronounced: kat-in)
Cat x Kitten, because adult cats are actually (& deceptively) really just sweet baby kittens.