The Ambien Chronicles

Um. This happened.

So I forgot the term ‘future generations’ & was talking To the bugs in my house, & I was talking about their ancestors, & how if they ain’t already dead then they’re all gonna die. ..but I couldn’t remember the whole ‘future generations’ thing, so after saying ‘ancestors’ I referred to the future generations as their ‘post-cestors’ instead.. but then I was like,

“wait, ‘post-cestors?’

‘…pre-cestors..?’ …

‘ancestors…?’ … ‘..incestors…???’ “

& he goes like,

“With so much drama in the C-L-E, it’s kinda hard bein’ S-M-E-A-G..”

His rap name is 2 Snugg.. sometimes he changes that up - to this,

“I am you. That is me.”

(a short story by me)

There goes Al Capellini, the caps llama, (seems he’s always wearin’ multiple caps at once, never did understand it myself, but explains why we call ‘em that).

See the cup he’s holdin’, has ‘Alpacallini’ writin’ on it? Heard ole Cap got that from his kinfolk as a gift, or somethin’. Always ‘sposed it was some kinda llama joke ‘bout his name, don’t know really.

Probly drinkin’ cappuccino, loves that stuff, not as much as alcohol, though. I’d bet that ‘Alpacallini’ cup he’s got there has more alcohol than cappuccino in it, if you catch my meanin’.

Looks to me like ole Cap’s headin’ back down to Acapulco, I ‘spose that’s just as good a guess as any other, though. Think it was that alpaca youngin’, Al Paccini, we call ‘em Alpac, said to me once that’s where Cap’s kinfolk stay.

‘Course, Alpac also says to me, all of ‘em sing, ‘stead of just talkin’, ya know? Heck knows if it’s true, I ‘spose could be, never been to Acapulco myself, after all.

Angler fish, except the dangling glowing part is a corded telephone receiver.

The phone receiver makes a dial tone sound when it’s a baby fish, by the time it’s an adult fish it turns to the *beep beep beep beeeeeep* sound.

WELL.

My cat just stepped in his own puke & he totally stopped moving, looked down at the puke while picking up his foot staring at it like OMG gross wtf?!

A word I created.

(Pronounced: kat-in)