amaris✩

It’s uncomfortably humid for a November afternoon. A warm breeze passes through the open campus, carrying a low hum of conversation through the rustling trees. Yunjin sits beside you on the soft grass, legs outstretched as she leans back, resting her weight on her elbows.

“This soulmate stuff is so dumb.” She huffs, a pout settling onto her face. Her eyes skim over the stream of students on their way to class, the library, or maybe the dorms. Finding nothing of interest, she turns her head to you, dyed hair falling away from her shoulders.

“Seriously, if mine isn’t hot or rich—actually, both—I’m suing.” She declares, voice tinged with her usual sass. “I don’t know who, but I am.” 

“Don’t say stuff like that. It’ll get you cursed.” You warn, nudging her with a quiet laugh. Cursed.

A soulmate is a sacred, treasured bond. To be without a soulmate—breaking a bond, or worse, not being given one at all—is truly an unfortunate fate. People look at you differently, wondering what you must’ve done to deserve such a cruel punishment. Deserve, because they can’t fathom the idea that someone with a pure soul would be abandoned by fate. They must have done something, be it in this life or another. They must have gotten cursed.

Yunjin, however, has always been carefree and unbothered. You think, if those little words weren’t engraved onto her wrist as a reminder of what’s to come, she’d be across the country with some unknown lover. She’d enjoy the prospect of casual relationships to pass the time, assuming there’d be anyone else willing to engage in such “unprincipled” acts (as you’ve heard them described before). In fact, she might’ve been better without a bond tying her to fate. Then again, the universe has a way of making things work, so maybe this mystery person might somehow change her completely.

“So what? Soulmates are overrated, anyway—mine’s first words to me are ‘please leave me alone.’ Like, okay. Rude. Maybe I will.” She scoffs quietly, waving her wrist around in front of your face. Your eyes gloss over the words engraved into her skin, neat and pristine. You’re a little jealous. Her soulmate has neat handwriting, but, actually, so does yours.

“You think that’s bad? Look at mine.” You reply, pulling your sleeve up and holding your wrist out. The words sit there, an effortless, elegant scrawl of text across your skin, contrasting the mortifying sentence. 

You remember the night they bloomed carefully across your skin. The night you turned eighteen. You almost thought it was a joke, but fate isn’t a humorous matter. The words remained there, dark and unmoving. Any previous excitement had vanished instantly. Your heart was beating too fast, your wrist shaking as you stared down at it, hoping, vainly, that the words would change.

Needless to say, you’ll have an insult etched onto your skin until the day you finally meet your soulmate. You kind of dread it—you can already feel the humiliation aching in your bones. Which means you’ll continue to avoid telling people about it. It’s embarrassing enough to look at, but Yunjin is an exception, since you know she’s not one to judge. Yunjin laughs in amazement, a hint of something like sympathy in her gaze.

“Omg, I’m so sorry for laughing. It’s not funny.” She continues to laugh, but you don’t mind. It’s weirdly comforting. Maybe a deeper part of you expected a weird look or judgment, but Yunjin doesn’t give you either. She gives a soft smile and kind words. A sense of normalcy. “I guess we both have assholes for soulmates. We should make a support group.”

“You’re stupid.” You huff, laughing alongside her and pulling your sleeve back down. She rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

“Fine, no support group. But maybe we can abandon our soulmates and date each other instead.” She tilts her head in that curious, almost pleading way, like she always does when she wants you to agree with her. You just scoff fondly, not entertaining her antics any further. She huffs, nudging you again teasingly. “It’s a good offer.” 

“Yeah, okay.” You murmur, sighing as your eyes scan the bright grass dancing in the wind. Your eyes find a little white flower, and it reminds you of a simpler time. Yunjin pulls you from your thoughts with a quiet gasp, eyes wide and trained on something, or someone, in the distance. 

“That one. My soulmate needs to be that, but rich, and they’ll be perfect! Ugh, his soulmate must be some sort of angel. I’m jealous.” She pouts, a faint crease between her brows. You follow her gaze over to an, unfortunately, familiar face. He’s laughing at some joke his friend made, the sound obnoxious and warm. 

Choi Beomgyu. A campus heartthrob, much to your discontent. His hair is messier than it used to be, overgrown and shaggy, but his eyes are the same. Big and round, with that puppy-like innocence you know all too well. Your face scrunches in disgust subconsciously at the thought of Yunjin complimenting him. 

“Yeah, absolutely not. His soulmate must’ve committed some sorta war crime. I feel bad for them.” You mutter, gaze narrowing. For a split second, his gaze finds yours across the wide patch of grass. It’s not the first time, but your heart drops either way, and you look away before he can get any wrong ideas. You’re strangers, now. Yunjin raises an eyebrow, a tinge of confusion in her expression.

“Yikes. What makes you say that?” She asks. Anyone else might think she’s simply curious, but you know that, really, she’s mostly excited about potential gossip. 

You hesitate for a moment, fingers mindlessly running through your hair. Now that you think of it, you’ve never admitted this out loud.

“He’s an ex.” You pause, attempting to read her expression for disgust. Disapproval. But there’s nothing, and you can’t quite tell if that’s good or bad. You attempt to salvage your dignity, even if just a little. 

“From high school.” You shrug, trying to downplay the shame that pools in your stomach. Guilt. You chose to be impatient. You chose to waste your firsts with someone unworthy of you to begin with, and maybe you even betrayed your soulmate in the process. Betrayed fate. Yunjin’s eyes widen a little, and you brace, subconsciously, for impact. It’s dumb, you know that. You know she won’t judge, but your fingers tremble anyway.

“Oh. Makes sense.” She murmurs, almost unimpressed by the revelation, as if to say, ‘that’s it?’ Then, sensing your nerves, her gaze softens, voice quieter. 

“What happened?” She asks, and it may be prying, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You’ve held the story in for a long time, and you think maybe finally talking about it could help you let go. Forget about all the mistakes. You look into her eyes and recognize the opportunity to open up. To share a piece of yourself that’s long been hidden in the deepest parts of your shadows.

It was a given since birth that you’d never have the throne— not unless some horrible tragedy stole your elder brother, Soobin, from the world. Thus, after your parents failed to thrust you into an arranged marriage at age fourteen, you managed to convince them to let you choose just one actually important aspect of your life. So long as you married into nobility, they agreed to let you have your way and choose a husband of your liking.

Things felt a little easier after that day. You could handle the daily routine of mundane tasks that held little value to you. You could accept being told how to behave and act in every situation. You could accept being forced to think a certain way and lie to the townspeople about your feelings on the nation’s rising tension. You could even accept giving up your only passion, art, at the demand of your mother. She considered it childish only because she, ironically, failed to comprehend its inherent sophistication—but you knew better than to argue. You knew better than to dare step out of the carefully drawn box you were expected to fit into. And you were fine with it, with submitting to societal pressures and allowing others to choose your personality for you—

As long as you could choose just one thing. Love.

i know the end - bsf beomgyu x reader angst, unrequited love, childhood friends, high school au

A faint pit-pat echoes throughout your room with each thick raindrop falling against the rectangular window above your desk. The sky outside is painted by blue-grey clouds that lighten as they get further away. Your flimsy desk chair creaks as you slouch, and a faded polaroid slips perfectly between your index finger and thumb. In it is Beomgyu, the dark-haired, puppy-eyed, lanky boy you’d met in kindergarten. He sits on a white couch, drowning in dark layers of clothes with a book in his lap. The corners of his lips are pulled into a pretty smile, his eyes twinkling even through the bangs hiding them. There’s a date messily scribbled underneath. 

December 23rd

You remember that day like it was yesterday. It’s what you consider the start of the end.

-----------

It was a few hours before your family left for your annual Christmas visit to your grandma’s house. As always, you visited the Choi household to give Beomgyu his gift in advance. His parents were out to run some last-minute errands, so the house was quiet. It was just you and him in the living room.

“D’you like it?” You asked hesitantly, staring at the photo album you’d made just for him. It sat sprawled open across his lap as he sat on the puffy white couch with mismatched pillows. Your fingers fiddled with the camera case dangling off your neck, new and pristine, just like the camera inside.

“I love it.” He breathed. His pretty eyes gleamed with joy as he traced his thumb along the pages lined with various photos of you, him, and your other friends. Each picture was dated and each page was decorated with cute stickers, doodles, and little messages. You were glad you’d gone to sleep at 2 am the night before to finish the final touches.

“It’s not as good as your gift.” You laughed, weight swaying from side to side. Your eyes fell to the ground, head drooping, and hair dangling off your shoulders as you carefully peeled your new Polaroid camera out of its case. You’d been rambling about wanting one for weeks after your old one broke. Beomgyu quirked an eyebrow up, scoffing as he glanced at you.

“Really? ‘Cause I’d argue yours is better. Like way better.” He replied. His smile widened as he flipped through a few more pages. Your heart skipped a few beats, a buzz of warmth through your chest upon seeing how genuinely happy he looked. You couldn’t help but raise your new camera to snap a picture of him. He noticed, and you were mildly surprised he didn’t do any goofy faces or poses the way he usually would. You probably could’ve counted the number of normal pictures you had of him on one hand. But, for once, he sat still, smiling with that same smile that always made your heart speed up. There was a faint click before a photo slowly slid out. You put it in your pocket to let it develop before sliding your camera back into its case.

untitled - beomgyu x reader golden retriever/black cat trope, best friends to lovers, mild angst, high school au

You never intended to befriend him. He was weird, eccentric, and overall the complete opposite of you. He was like a bright, fluorescent light that made your eyes burn when you looked up at the ceiling. Honestly, even at the young age of eight, you weren’t too fond of him. His voice annoyed you, and it felt like the only thing you ever heard.

You preferred to be alone—at least, that’s what you told yourself. Maybe you were similar to him in the sense that you were both “outcasts” in your own way. The kids didn’t avoid you, necessarily, but it was obvious how they felt—awkward, maybe a little scared. You never really bothered to hide how much you disliked interacting with others, mostly because you deemed yourself socially unskilled. So, most times, your cold and uninterested persona kept everyone away. Everyone except him.

Choi Beomgyu. 

He approached you one day during recess, a bright smile on his face. His eyes sparkled in the sun, dark brown hair flowing freely over his forehead. He waved enthusiastically, like you were already friends, then decided to take a seat next to you. You thought he was sitting a little too close, but hadn’t bothered to say anything. 

“Hey, watcha doin’?” He asked, head tilting to the side. Your deep gaze held his for a few moments, expression unmoving. It looked almost like you were contemplating whether to acknowledge him or not. You hadn’t necessarily intended to. The silence dragged on for a few painful seconds before he finally decided to take a hint. 

“Uh…am I bothering you? Sorry, I always do that…” He mumbled, looking away as he raised a trembling hand to the back of his head. With a soft sigh, you looked back at the open sketchpad in front of you, nibbling your bottom lip. You risked a glance back at him, finding his smile sadder than before and a pitiful gleam in his eyes. You shook your head gently, voice subdued once you finally replied.

“No, it’s okay,” you spoke softly, pushing your sketchpad over to him. “Um, I was just drawing.”

His eyes lit up, a wide smile expanding across his face. He giggled, eagerly taking the small book into his hands. You cringed internally as he stared at the half-finished drawing on the page, and some odd, hidden part of you feared his criticism. Or, alternatively, your young, lonely heart yearned for acceptance, even if it came from someone like him. Someone like you. 

“You drew this?” He asked, gentle gaze admiring the wobbly lines scribbled to depict your favorite anime character. The drawing was subpar at best, but under his gaze it became something magnificient—something to feel proud of. You found a small smile pulling at your lips despite the urge to remain aloof. 

“Uh, yeah! It’s…it’s whatever, though.” You shrugged, feigning humility despite the ache in your chest that begged for validation. For praise. He gave it to you without hesitation, with an admiration so earnest you may have mistaken it for love. 

Following that day, he never left you alone. Your friendship was something unspoken, something felt in subdued giggles and lingering glances. His voice would call out to you each morning, and he’d skip over happily to greet you with the same, warm smile. There was never a second away from him, whether you wanted one or not. He went wherever you did, most of the time rambling until he had nothing more to say—but he always had something to say. And he was willing to accept your quiet nods and hums as signs of engagement. Maybe sometimes he wished you seemed more interested, but he’d never outright complain. After all, you were the first and only person ever to give him the time of day, and that was enough for him. Your presence was enough. 

̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙ i know the end — [c.bg]

loving your best friend had always been easy—until someone else came along and he stopped looking at you the same. you told yourself it was fine. that you'd be fine. but somewhere between the jealousy, the immaturity, and the lies, you were the one who ruined everything. and just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, you had to figure out how to tell him that you'd be moving away by the end of summer.

♬⋆.˚ “i’m always pushin’ you away from me, but you come back with gravity.”

genre: angst, unrequited love, childhood friends, jealousy, high school au, heartbreak, maybe bittersweet ending

warnings: cursing, mc is a bad friend, depression (mc)

╰┈➤ 8% complete (2.4k)

── ｡ﾟ☆: rough concepts :☆ﾟ. ──

̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙ only one — [c.yj], [c.bg]

your stoner best friend, yeonjun, forces you to go to a party, then cruelly abandons you. you're like a fish out of water, and you somehow manage to find yourself in a game of seven minutes in heaven. after your first kiss (uh, maybe a little more than that), you find yourself infatuated by the town skater-boy, beomgyu... but yeonjun tells you to stay away. what does he know, anyway?

♬⋆.˚ “it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?”

genre: unrequited love, jealousy, pining, high school au, mild angst, childhood friends to not-quite lovers (yj endgame!!)

warnings: underage drinking, smoking, some parts a little suggestive (making out), cursing

̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙ unsent letters — [c.bg]

all of the words you could never say to him. all the sleepless nights spent crafting the perfect letters, never to be read by any other. yet, still, he managed to slip through your fingers—maybe you should’ve just sent them, after all. (not sure where this one will go yet but i just thought a story told through never-sent letters would be cool)

♬⋆.˚ “you’re just thinking it’s a small thing that happened, the world ended when it happened to me.”

genre: angst, misunderstandings, potentially royalty au(?), heartbreak

̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙ untitled

bsf beomgyu — golden retriever x black cat

beomgyu, your “best friend”—though in reality it’s kind of one-sided. he sticks around, you tolerate him. you’re his only friend, after all. but your avoidant tendencies finally hurt him, leading you to acknowledge his presence only once he’s finally gone.

genre: mild angst, heartbreak, best friends to lovers, high school au, happy ending, lighthearted

popular boy yeonjun — popular x quiet girl

yeonjun, the popular boy you’ve never liked, only because of your own bias towards people like him. you’re unsure how to act when he’s actually nice to you, though—is he playing you? you feel no guilt rejecting his various advances, even as he gets poutier each time…

genre: fluff, high school au, one-sided pining, pouty yeonjun (muhehe), classmates to lovers

taehyun — academic rivals

taehyun, the new kid who seems determined to steal your position at the top. you’d like to hate him for it, but it’s hard when he’s so naturally chivalrous, even despite his outwardly cold demeanor. maybe you like him—ugh, how annoying. he’s stealing your heart, too?

genre: high school au, mutual pining, academic rivals (ofc), quiet x loud, fluff

warnings: mc is lowkey (highkey) a bitch at first

“Soo…what’s up?” Kai asks, voice muffled through your phone speaker. You sigh, face illuminated by the glow of your phone, where you can see Kai leaning back in his desk chair. After staring at the ceiling in contemplation for about thirty minutes, you’d decided to facetime him. 

“Nothing much, I guess.” You reply, shrugging and looking off to the side at the posters on your wall. Despite how close you’ve been with Kai since childhood, you’ve never really indulged him in your romantic life. You’ve always had other friends for that. But, considering he’s Beomgyu’s best friend, you thought maybe he’d be able to give you more insight than Chaewon or Yunjin. “I don’t know.”

“Well, what did you need to talk about so urgently?” He jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. You scoff, rolling your eyes at him as you figure out what to say. 

“It’s…” you hesitate, the boy’s name feeling forbidden on your tongue. After everything—after such adamant refusal of ever liking him—you can’t believe the words you’re about to say. And to Kai of all people. You’ll never hear the end of it, but whatever. “It’s Beomgyu.”

“Beomgyu?” He repeats, suddenly all too eager to hear what you have to say. “What? You like him? What did I tell you—” 

“Shut up,” you huff, waving a hand in front of your screen to dismiss his words. “And yeah, I do! But that’s not the problem—”

“Then what is it?” He cuts you off, expression morphing into confusion. “Wait…problem?”

Huh, Kai could’ve sworn… 

“Okay, well, if you’d let me speak, then maybe I could tell you,” You reply sarcastically, letting out a long sigh. He nods, ushering you to continue. You take a moment, deciding where to start…how to phrase your words in a non-incriminating way. 

“Well, I like him. But I think he thinks I’m into Yeonjun? I’m not. But then also I guess he and Yeji are still a thing. But then I don’t understand why he agreed to fake date and then get weird about it—” You ramble, voice dying as you notice Kai frowning, sitting up straight. 

“Hold on, hold on. Go back a bit. Since when were he and Yeji still a thing?” He asks, leaning closer to the camera, a furrow in his brow. You blink, not quite understanding his question—wouldn’t Beomgyu’s literal best friend know who he’s talking to…? 

“What do you mean? Aren’t they still talking?” You ask slowly, your heart doing a nervous little flutter.

“What? No. They stopped talking ages ago—Yeji said they’d be better as friends,” he explains, shaking his head in disbelief. The gears turn in your head, his words taking a moment to process, each syllable echoing in the sudden silence of your room. “Who told you that?”

“Uh…he did?” You reply slowly. Kai stares at you through the phone, eyes narrowing. He doesn’t understand his friend sometimes. Beomgyu said— 

“Choi Beomgyu told you that he’s still talking to Yeji?” He clarifies, sounding so baffled that it makes you question your own memory. 

“Yeah…? I mean, not exactly, I guess. But it was implied, I think.” You shrug, brows pulled together as you attempt to comprehend what’s happening. 

“What did he say? Exact words.” Kai asks, tone suddenly serious.

“Well, he was like ‘You have Yeonjun, and I have Yeji,’ so…” your voice trails off. Maybe you misinterpreted his words? Kai says nothing, as if expecting more. “Oh, and he said he was avoiding me because he didn’t wanna give her the wrong idea. Which honestly doesn’t even make sense—”

Kai cuts you off, calling your name in a tone that quiets you immediately. For a moment, you think something is wrong…until he laughs. Kai, of course, knows everything that happened on April Fool’s Day. He knows about the almost-kiss and the run-in with Yeonjun, and he’d actually advised Beomgyu to try and get over it. But Beomgyu said he liked you a lot—he needed time to think. He didn’t understand why there’d be a problem if you like him, and he likes you, but he understands now. “You guys are both stupid.” 

“What? Hey, not true!” you defend. “What’s so funny?”

“He and Yeji aren’t anything, but he told you they are because…” He motions for you to complete his sentence. 

“Because what?” You deadpan, and Kai honestly can’t believe that you’re not joking. Has his cousin always been this stupid? Aren’t you a straight-A student?

“Seriously!? C’mon, just think. Why else would he lie about that?” He replies, attempting to guide you toward the truth. Still, you stare at him with a dumb, confused expression, painting your features.

“Uh…to make me jealous? But why…?” You raise an eyebrow, not understanding what he’s trying to get at.

“Didn’t you say that you think he thinks you’re into Yeonjun?” He huffs, sighing and slouching in his seat. Right, you did mention that.

“Oh…” The pieces finally click together in your head. April Fool’s Day, when he tried to kiss you and you evaded him. Did he really want to kiss you? And then you’d run into Yeonjun, and he was being distant. He thinks you like Yeonjun, so obviously he tried to come off as nonchalant by mentioning Yeji. And the dating prank in general, did he— “Oh. Oh shit.” 

“You get it now?” His head tilts, a knowing look in his eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah, uh, I have to go—” You hang up the call before he can say anything back, pushing yourself onto your feet. There’s actually no way you’ve been so stupid this entire time. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Beomgyu’s at home, bed-rotting like he always does. Though recently, he’s felt more down about everything going on in his life—mainly, you. And, now, he’s staring at your message asking to hang out after school tomorrow. He agrees, as much as he kind of doesn’t want to. He remembers a conversation with Kai the other day, the boy’s words echoing in his head. 

“Well, if you’re not going to do anything, it’s better to move on.” 

How could he ever move on like this? Seeing your pretty face every day, hearing your cute laugh, looking into your mesmerizing eyes…someone, please save him. He’s whipped. He could make a move, but last time he tried it didn’t go so well. Then again, that was April Fool’s Day, so maybe things were different. Nonetheless, he mentally prepares himself to see you. He’s forgotten how to be normal, honestly—it’s been forever since you’ve hung out alone. Shit. He has to be alone with you? How will he ever survive…

…

He’s not surviving at all, actually. You look prettier than normal, with light makeup enhancing your features. Gosh, he feels dizzy. His shoulders are stiff, heart pounding as he sits beside you in the park, holding an unopened soda. His arm lightly brushes yours, and he pulls it away quicker than normal. He jumps when your voice finally breaks the silence. 

“I have a question,” you say bluntly, staring right into his eyes. He nods slowly, finding his voice. 

“Okay…what is it?” His voice trembles. He sounds so stupid. Be normal, Beomgyu! Your head tilts to the side, and he hates his heart for fluttering at the sight. He forces himself to look away, admiring the bright grass instead of your face. 

“Are you still talking to Yeji?” You ask, analyzing his expression. His eyes widen a little, lips parting, then closing. Fuck, what should he say? He musters a small smile, laughing awkwardly. 

“Uh. I…guess. Why?” He mumbles, taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady the rapid beating of his heart. You hum in thought, shrugging and slouching a little.

“Well, I dunno. I asked Kai yesterday. He said you stopped talking ages ago,” you reply. Okay, maybe you’re being a little mean to him…but he did this to himself! You hold back a laugh when he freezes, face falling. He chokes on air, ears turning a bright shade of pink as he scrambles for an excuse. “Why lie?” 

He’s an idiot, that’s why. Ugh, he wishes he could punch Kai right now!

“Uh, well, it’s—you know. I thought—like, I mean, we aren’t talking. I, um, I don’t—” He’s stumbling through his words, embarrassed as ever. Great, you totally think he’s a loser.

“Gyu,” you call his name softly, getting him to look at you. You think he’s pretty when he’s flustered like this. He panics, heart dropping. You must be mad, right? 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said—” he starts, but you cut him off, deciding you’ve teased him enough. 

“I like you,” you admit, smiling. He blinks, unsure if he heard you correctly. Uh, what? He must be dreaming. His heart flutters, all the thoughts in his brain coming to a halt. 

“What?” He asks, sitting up straight. 

“I like you, Beomgyu,” you repeat. What the actual fuck!? His ears burn, and so do his cheeks. Butterflies swarm his stomach, his body frozen as his brain processes the information. He’s unsure whether he should scream or laugh, or maybe jump up and down. He’s so happy!

“Really?” He asks, eyes glimmering in the sun. He’s like an excited puppy, a wide smile pulling at his lips when you nod. He laughs, looking away—oh yeah, he should probably say it back. “I like you too. I mean, I have for a while.” 

“How about a date, then?” You ask, smiling at him. His heart is doing flips as he nods eagerly. 

“Okay. Okay, yeah,” he replies, warmth spreading through his chest. It’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. There’s so much he’s been wanting to do and say. His heart stutters when his gaze connects with yours again, eyes finding your lips. You move a little closer, palm lifting up to his cheek. 

“Can I?” You ask softly, close enough to feel his breath against your face. He nods, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Yes, please,” he mumbles. Your lips press against his slowly, tentatively. He melts into the kiss, hands carefully holding you still. You pull away, smiling. His face is red, heart pounding impossibly fast. This is all he’s ever wanted, he thinks. You’re all he could’ve hoped for. 

And he’s all you could’ve wanted. 

— °˖✧ epilogue ✧˖° —

The first date is fun and exciting, albeit a little awkward. Then again, aren’t most? Beomgyu’s sweet and caring, and he makes sure that you don’t have to spend a single penny. You go to the arcade, then get some food after.

When he asks to be your boyfriend, the gesture is grand and carefully planned. A picnic with flowers and all of your favorite snacks. Of course, you give a very happy, excited yes, hugging him. He stands there, flustered and smiling ear to ear. 

Your friends tease relentlessly—their ship finally came to life, even after you’d both denied it before. So what if they were right? That had nothing to do with you two liking each other…you would’ve been together regardless! Probably. Things were meant to be, perhaps. 

He’s the sweetest, most loving boyfriend. He’d give you the world, the moon, and the stars—and you’d do the same. You hate being cringey, but truthfully, you believe he’s your soulmate. He was the man put onto earth for you, and you were for him. He completes your heart. 

You belong together. 

taglist: @whatblop, @innies-goth-gf, @woncheecks, @ewsnup, @etherealid7, @beomgyusluver <3

a/n: yippie! finally finished this story (after literal ages omg...) i realllyyyyy hope you guys enjoyed this final chapter! these idiots needed some intervention smh my head #oblivious. anywho! likes, comments, and reblogs greatly appreciated! stay tuned for my next story (≧∇≦)ﾉ <3

The easiest way to get over something is to pretend it never happened! That’s what you tell yourself, anyway. Though, in reality, you’re so hyper-focused on pretending like everything is normal that you fail to notice yourself walking straight into a tall, dark-haired, muscular male—Choi Yeonjun. The impact forces you back into the present, where students bustle in the hallways and Beomgyu walks stiffly beside you, hands shoved into his pockets. You stumble backwards, but he’s quick to steady you as you fumble for words.

“Uh, sorry—“ you start, gaze avoiding Yeonjun and Beomgyu simultaneously. Beomgyu’s warm, gentle palm lingers carefully above your hip—does he even realize he’s doing that? Yeonjun’s gaze wanders down, a small smirk pulling at his lips. 

“No worries. Since when were you two dating? Could’ve sworn I heard you say he wasn’t your type.” He inquires, eyes gleaming with mischief. Where the hell did he hear that? Actually, since when did he pay attention to you? You laugh awkwardly, pulling away from Beomgyu as if suddenly embarrassed to be so close to him. His shoulders stiffen, fingers searching for something to fiddle with. Did you really say that about him?

“We’re not dating!” You correct. Beomgyu’s gaze narrows, flickering between you and Yeonjun. That response was a little too quick for his liking. Plus, you promised to keep up the prank at least until the end of the school day. What changed? “We were just pulling a prank on our friends. April Fool’s Day, remember?”

It goes quiet for a moment, the only noise being loud laughter and post-lunch gossip echoing through the crowded halls. The air is thick, as if they’re both waiting for you to say more. Right. You should probably also mention—

“Um…I don’t think I ever said he wasn’t my type, though.” You mumble, risking a glance at the ‘he’ in question. Beomgyu’s avoiding your gaze, hands shoved into his pockets. Great save. He looks totally pleased to hear that you, maybe, never said anything like that. You suppose you could’ve tried to sound more convincing.

“Mm. Must’ve been thinking of something else, then…” Yeonjun replies, shrugging before offering you a small wave. That was seriously all he had to say…? His eyes linger on Beomgyu, as though sizing him up. It’s times like these that you wish you had the ability to read minds. “Well, see ya.” 

You nod slowly, unable to form any more words—whether that’s because you’re nervous or embarrassed, you can’t tell. Beomgyu huffs, his gaze a lot colder than you remember it last being. He runs a frustrated hand through his dark hair, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Uh, I should head to class. Don’t wanna be late.” 

Weird, considering he didn’t care about being late earlier. You say nothing, instead just nodding like an idiot. Somehow, it feels like you’ve managed to ruin everything in the span of less than an hour. You figure, maybe (hopefully), things will be back to normal by tomorrow. His back is turned to you by the time you realize you have yet to say anything.

“Uh, see you later!” You call out, your voice a little too loud amidst the sudden quiet. He glances back at you, his expression unreadable, then looks away without a word, disappearing around the corner. Or, maybe you won’t see him, you guess. A cold dread settles in your stomach.

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Looks like you’re back at square one. After everything, after he went out of his way to convince you to be friends, he’s the one choosing to stay away this time. He knows it’s wrong. He knows it’ll only hurt more in the end—if he wants to keep you, he’s making all the wrong choices. All because he’s hurt. Because he can’t face you and pretend to be normal. But maybe he can bury it all again with time. With space. 

He’s such an idiot. You made yourself clear from the start. From middle school, even. You don’t like him, and you never will. He was stupid for getting his hopes up, for thinking that friendship might turn into more. For thinking that you might actually kiss him—god, why did he do that? He just had to go and make things weird and awkward and embarrassing. And then, of course, you went and reminded him that you don’t like guys like him. No, because he’s nothing like Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu’s no love expert, but he could tell something was up when you bumped into Yeonjun. Your eyes darted around, unable to find a settling point. You moved away from Beomgyu, forgot he was even there. For about two minutes, Yeonjun was the center of your universe. You no longer cared to keep Beomgyu as your fake boyfriend—you hastily denied dating him, as though embarrassed about it. Would dating him be embarrassing? Not to mention, Yeonjun apparently heard you say Beomgyu wasn’t your type. Ouch. Had you really gone around telling people that? All while he’d been fighting a losing battle with his own feelings? If he’d known sooner, then maybe he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t be sulking in bed, ignoring an unopened message from you. 

‘hey, haven’t seen you in awhile. did something happen?’

It’s been a week since April Fool’s Day. And, in that week, he’s conveniently been around you less. Always a test to make up during lunch, or a club meeting, or studying. He’s avoided the places he knows you frequent—that one corner in the library, the vending machine near the gym, and the routes to your classes. He’s gone all the way around the building just to avoid crossing paths with you. He’s not ready yet, but he promises he’ll face you eventually. In time. 

Honestly, he didn’t think you’d even notice. Or care. He figured he must not be very important in your life. You don’t care whether he’s around or not. But maybe you do, if the many messages you’ve sent are anything to go by. 

‘are u mad at me?’

‘can we talk?’

‘im sorry’

Yikes. He feels bad now, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Well, not bad enough to suck his feelings up and face you. Not bad enough to type out a reply. But he does feel bad. He closes the messaging app, hoping that your texts might disappear the next time he opens it. He’s sure you’re only pretending, anyway. You couldn’t be actually sorry. You’re probably just putting in effort to save face. Beomgyu refuses to fall for it. 

If you really cared, you’d be doing more to get to him. He rolls over, feeling a cold breeze over his face, the wind whispering through his curtains. Maybe he’ll feel less miserable after a nap.

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

The weekend comes around again. Beomgyu intends to spend the day lounging around doing nothing, but he goes to the store to get some snacks first. When he returns home, he’s shocked to find you in his room. You’re standing there awkwardly, hands roaming curiously over the smooth, sturdy desk in the corner. You take a shaky breath, hoping to feel less suffocated by the cold air of his room. Your eyes trail along the floor, pausing when they find him. Time stops for a moment, all the words you’d carefully planned to say swiftly gone from your memory. 

“Hey–” you start, voice dying once you register his confused, perhaps irritated expression.

“How did you get in here?” He asks, clearly not amused. He places his bag of snacks down, closing the door before moving closer to you. Your lips part as if to speak, but no words come out. You look away, eyes finding the dark, wooden floor beneath your feet. He calls your name, tone a little softer this time, ushering you to answer. 

“Your mom let me in,” you mumble. He sighs, realizing that maybe he should’ve expected this. Maybe you care more than he thought you did. It’s quiet for a while, and you wonder if maybe he’s waiting for you to speak. Or maybe he’s processing things. Or maybe he’s so upset with you that he needs a moment to collect himself. You don’t know, and you’re too scared to look up at him and check.

“Why are you here?” His tone is gentler now, even if it’s lacking the care you’d like it to have. He still sounds so detached from you. Your heart sinks, eyes burning a little. You clear your throat, blinking rapidly in hopes of collecting your composure.

“Um, well, I wanted to talk,” you reply, voice barely above a whisper. It’s like you're sharing a secret with him, something you don’t want to admit. 

“About?” He asks, urging you to continue. He knows exactly what you want to talk about, yet he’s asking anyway. Maybe in hopes of avoiding the subject entirely.

“Well. I just wanna know if I’ve done something wrong,” you mumble, fingers pulling at the sleeves of your hoodie. You risk a glance at him, relieved to find that he, at least, doesn’t look mad anymore. His expression is soft, maybe a little confused. 

Why do you sound so hurt? He realizes he’s been an idiot, finally. And he’s only now acknowledging that you do care. That he’s been hurting you for the past week. God, he wishes you wouldn’t look at him like that. It’s impossible to stay upset when you look so pretty and sad. Finally, he speaks, voice quiet and subdued. “You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s me.”

You frown, lips pursed as you find your words. You don’t remember anything you’d wanted to say earlier. Your voice is a little shaky, a testament to just how nervous you are. “Well, then…I just—I don’t really understand. What changed? I thought…you liked me.”

It was his idea to be friends, wasn't it?

“Nothing changed,” he whispers. “I do like you.” 

For a moment, he pauses, noticing how those words sound a little too much like a love confession. Wait—did you mean like in a friendly way or a romantic way? Oh, shit. Maybe you meant the romantic way. “I mean—I did like you. In middle school.”

“What?” Now it’s your turn to be confused. Does he like you or not? He did? But he doesn’t anymore? So, then, does that mean he doesn’t want to be your friend? Beomgyu’s cheeks heat up—seriously, it’s like his hidden talent to mess up everything when it comes to you. Well, what’s said is said, so he should at least clarify.

“Um, I had a crush on you in middle school?” He mumbles, hoping maybe you won’t hear. His gaze snaps back up to your still conflicted expression. He’s quick to add on, “not anymore though!”

“I’m confused—” You say slowly, head tilting to the side. You’d never thought about it, but now that he mentions it… “You had a crush on me?”

“Yeah,” he nods, clearing his throat. Your heart flutters, a spark of hope igniting in your chest. He’s quick to blow it out. “But you have Yeonjun now. And I have Yeji.”

“Right,” you mutter. Of course, Yeji. How did you forget? Wait, did he say Yeonjun? Does he think you have a thing for Yeonjun? Okay, maybe you used to, but still. That was like…forever ago. Before you knew him. You think maybe you should clarify, but what would that change, anyway? He’s right. He has Yeji, so maybe you should find someone else to have, too. You don’t have Yeonjun yet, but you could. Besides, there are more important issues to address. “Why have you been avoiding me then?”

“I don’t know. Just…needed space. Or something,” he shrugs, glancing away from you. He knows you’re unsatisfied by his answer—he can tell by the way your eyes immediately narrow, a crease forming between your brows.

“Or something?” You repeat, urging him to say more. He huffs, eyes flickering between you and the posters on his wall. Truthfully, he has no excuse.

“Well…I didn’t want Yeji getting the wrong idea,” he lies. You fall silent for a moment, replaying a conversation from a few weeks ago, back when you first became friends. Wasn’t he the one who said to forget about the rumors? 

“Let’s be friends. Who cares what anyone says?”

“I thought we agreed not to care—” You start, the faintest hint of frustration underlying your tone. His gaze snaps up, voice cutting yours off.

“We did. It’s just…y’know,” he mumbles. Yeah, unfortunately, you do know. Is it really so different just because it’s Yeji? If that’s the case, why’d he propose to do a dating prank like that in the first place? You sigh, nodding slowly.

“...yeah, okay,” you mutter, tone clipped. You look up into his eyes, letting your annoyance fade back into hurt. “I just wish you would’ve told me, I guess.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he whispers. It’s impossible to stay upset with him when he’s so soft and pretty looking. Curse your stupid heart for having a soft spot.

“It’s alright,” you shrug, but your shoulders are tense. “Can we at least go back to normal now?”

You miss him. But, obviously, you’d die before telling him that. Especially after he was just talking about another girl. You almost feel a little embarrassed by your feelings.

He wishes he could say no. Wishes he could shut you out and hide until all his ugly, scary feelings go away forever. He thinks about the pain that will come if he agrees. But, unfortunately, you’re so sweet and kind—and you came all this way to talk to him—how could he ever say no? How could he shut you out, knowing how it affects you? He’d be evil. He nods, giving you a soft smile, even as his heart aches. You care, but that still doesn’t mean you like him back. You hadn’t said anything earlier when he mentioned Yeonjun. 

It’s okay, though. If it makes you happy, he’ll stay around, even if it hurts. He’ll suffer if doing so makes you smile.

taglist: @whatblop, @innies-goth-gf, @woncheecks, @ewsnup, @etherealid7 <3

a/n: gyu being oblivious as always SMH. i really hope you guys enjoyed this and, again, i'm sorry for taking forever lol. luckily, next chapter will be the final one!!! as always, ty for ur support and patience (especially this time)! likes, comments, and reblogs greatly appreciated! (≧∇≦)ﾉ <3

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

You’ve discovered that Beomgyu is just as much of a nerd as Kai and Soobin. They play the same games and watch the same shows and gush over the same celebrities. You’ve gotten used to listening to him and Soobin argue over whatever game it is that they stay up until 2 AM playing. They’re always, undoubtedly, the loudest at your lunch table. Since the recent alliance, your friend groups have sorta merged. Which (of course) means that the teasing is annoying as ever, but at this point, it’s all white noise. Now, it’s Beomgyu who manages to be the biggest annoyance in your life—in an endearing way. You almost miss the time when he was the shy, quiet boy your friends shipped you with. Almost. 

Jumbled conversation echoes through the cafeteria, overlapping the clatter of trays. Students crowd together around small tables, gossiping and laughing, while others keep to themselves. You sit beside Beomgyu, who, as per usual, has made it his mission to annoy you. He keeps poking your side. Each time, you flinch a little, swatting his hand away. 

“Cut it out!” You yelp, suppressing small laughs. You find yourself amused despite the feigned annoyance. Beomgyu puts his hands up defensively, looking off to the side with a small smirk.

“What? I barely did anything,” he defends. His gaze returns to you, meeting your unimpressed expression. The corners of his lips pull into a guilty, upside-down smile. He always acts so innocent. 

“Beomgyu.” You retort, tone unamused. You shake your head, rolling your eyes. His arms fall back to his side, a laugh escaping his lips. His joy, even when at your expense, is contagious—you have to suppress a smile. 

“It’s funny, though…” He mumbles, looking away again. You raise an eyebrow at him, whipping your head from side to side as you look around the circular table—your friends are beside you, to the left, and his are next to him on the right. They’re all taking inconspicuous glances at you, not yet acknowledging the playful exchange happening. 

“Really? ‘cause I don’t see anyone laughing,” you retort, glancing around again as if to make a point. He narrows his eyes at you, head tilting to the side. 

“You were. Like five seconds ago,” he replies. His voice is flat, expression blank. You scoff, crossing your arms. That’s not fair, and he knows it. 

“That doesn’t count. I’m ticklish,” you reply, shrugging. He hums in thought, shaking his head and nudging you with his elbow. 

“You think it’s hilarious too,” he argues. “Just admit it.”

“Shut up,” you grumble. Sure, it’s a little funny, but not when he does it five million times! Besides, he only thinks it’s funny because of the way you react. For you, it’s just embarrassing—especially considering how his touch makes your heart flutter. 

“You didn’t deny it,” he teases, leaning a little closer. Your heart skips a beat, an uncomfortable feeling bubbling in your chest. You lean away, unable to make eye contact.

“You’re so annoying.” You mutter, shaking your head. You glance up, eyes meeting Chaewon’s. She has a small grin, eyes gleaming with amusement at your spectacle—and something else. Something that makes you shift nervously in your seat. “What?” You raise an eyebrow at her. She hums in delight, leaning her elbows on the table. 

“You two are so cute!” She gushes. Before you can even begin to think of a retort, the rest of your friends are ganging up on you. 

“You should just date already,” Yunjin teases, her dark eyes glistening with mischief. 

“They probably are—they’re just too embarrassed to admit it,” Kai adds on, nudging Soobin to join in. Soobin hums in thought, smiling evilly. He opens his phone, showing off a blurry picture—you and Beomgyu, side by side, smiling together in a crowded hallway. 

“I saw them walking together the other day,” Soobin explains, causing the table to erupt in gasps. Seriously, what era is this? You didn’t know being near a guy was so scandalous nowadays. Why does he even have that picture?

“You guys are so annoying. God forbid a girl and a guy be friends!” You retort, scoffing as you roll your eyes. You’re too preoccupied arguing to notice the odd expression on Beomgyu’s face. 

His hands are on the table, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. He shifts uncomfortably, his gaze fixated on everything but you. His throat feels tight, lungs small as he attempts to breathe. Why can’t he just be normal? His heart jumps every time someone mentions how cute you’d be together or how he’s basically your boyfriend. He doesn’t understand. He buried those feelings when he buried the old version of himself. That’s not him anymore. He doesn’t like you, he can’t like you. So, why does he feel this way now? It’s like a hurricane ripping through all of the flimsy defenses he’s held up thus far. He’s going insane, meanwhile, you sit there calmly denouncing even the idea of being with him. Which feels great, by the way.

“Beomgyu’s totally blushing,” Kai points out. Everyone’s gaze is suddenly on him, including yours. Yours. Oh god, what’s happening? He can’t breathe. His heart is suddenly beating out of his chest. This isn’t happening. Control yourself, Beomgyu. He scoffs, but it sounds more like a cough. 

“Am not,” he mutters, but the shake in his voice isn’t helping his case much. Soobin laughs, eyes wide with amusement as he gasps. 

“You’re totally in love.” He teases, which only causes Beomgyu’s face to get warmer. In love? Never. Never in a million years. You grimace, taking control of the situation before it gets out of hand.

“Ugh, you guys are so stupid,” you scoff. Luckily, the bell reverberates through the crowded space, ending the conversation with ease. You part ways, heading to class with your friends. Beomgyu can’t help but watch as you disappear into the crowd. 

Was the idea really so stupid? Was it so unbelievable that he might like you? Or maybe it’s the other way around. Of course, nothing has changed since middle school. You’re still way out of his league. It makes sense that the idea of anything more than friends is a joke to you. It’s a joke to him, too. Totally. It’s hilarious!

He just needs to get himself together. Those feelings are only coming back because he’s around you again. It’s just nostalgia. Just a bad habit that he never got to break. He doesn’t like you! It’s just…the idea of everything. The idea of having a girlfriend. That’s why he always gets so flustered when your friends tease. It’s not because of you, right? It can’t be—that would be breaking his promise to himself. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Yeah, no. Something must be seriously wrong with him. How did his brain go from being completely normal to being a jumbled, confusing mess in seconds? He knows how, but he searches for a different answer nonetheless. He repeats to himself over and over that he likes Yeji, even if they haven’t talked in a while. He likes her, not you. Things are just getting mixed up. Any normal person would get flustered in this situation. Well, except for you. You never react. But that’s different! You’re just freakishly calm—underreacting, if you ask him. His reaction to the teasing is totally normal. So, no, he doesn’t like you. And, even if he did, he can’t allow the same thing to happen a second time. Not when he worked so hard to become your friend. 

Why did he do that, anyway? No, no, no—don’t even go there, Choi Beomgyu. It’s normal to want to be someone’s friend! He feels sick to his stomach.

The next time he sees you, he feels himself spiraling. Your eyelashes are long and pretty, fluttering every time you blink. Your silky hair frames your delicate features. His eyes linger on your plush lips a little too long, then the pretty pink hue of your smooth cheeks. This is unfair. He worked so hard to move on, to accept that he couldn’t have you. He accepted that it was all in the past. He didn't have a chance, and that was okay! 

Then again, that was before everything. Before he was someone in your life, before you started calling him Gyu in that sweet, familiar tone. Maybe he can indulge his feelings this time. He’s a better person now. You’re friends already. What's the harm? The feelings are going to eat away at him anyway. It’s better he just acknowledges the facts—he likes you, and no amount of denial will stop it. 

That said, your indifference might. You deny everything so casually. He’ll subtly lean closer or brush fingers with you, and you don’t react. In fact, you look at him like he’s crazy. It’s making him remember exactly why he wanted to avoid catching feelings again. You don’t like him. 

At least, in his perspective, you don’t. But he can’t read your mind. He doesn’t know that your heart jumps whenever he touches you. He doesn’t see the way you scramble to steel your expression whenever he gets a little too close. He’s too in his head to notice the way your voice trembles whenever you tell him to knock it off. It’s not that you don’t like him. He’s just conditioned himself to interpret everything you do as friendly, or as his stupid heart playing tricks on him. You’re blushing because you’re uncomfortable, not flustered. You’d never be flustered because of him.

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

The end of March is fast approaching, which also means April 1st is coming up—April Fool’s Day. Beomgyu has the perfect idea for a silly little prank. Something totally innocent and unrelated to the all-consuming feelings currently overwhelming his heart. He sighs, sprawled across his unmade bed sheets as he stares at your contact. His heart beats a little quicker at the notion of messaging you, but he manages to settle on a simple message. 

gyu 🧸: hi i have an idea

You respond quickly, almost too quickly. His heart jumps when he sees the three little dots flickering. 

you: what is it gyu 🧸: a prank for april fools you: omg yes

Well, that was easy. Then again, you’re probably only agreeing because you think it’s something typical. You know, stuff besides pretending to date your friend.

gyu 🧸: i didnt even tell u what the idea is yet you: okay so tell me 🙄 gyu 🧸: well since we get shipped i thought it’d be funny if we pretended to date

There’s no immediate response this time. His heart drops, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. A minute passes, then two, and then his hands are trembling over the keyboard as he panics to type out something to redeem himself. You must think he’s crazy and weird. Of course, that was dumb. It’s a dumb idea, and you wouldn’t—his phone buzzes.

you: omg wait that’s hilarious 😭 they’re gonna freak out 💀 im in gyu 🧸: okay

He blinks, shakily putting his phone down. You actually agreed. He rereads the message just to ensure that he read it right. You’re in. You think it’s hilarious. Maybe he wishes you didn’t find it funny, though. This is definitely a horrible idea. He’s asking to get hurt—but whatever! He gets to call you his for a day, even if it’s pretend. He gets to be close in the way he’s yearned to for years (technically). He feels knots forming in his stomach just thinking about it…

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

You’ve spent days preparing to successfully carry out this prank with Beomgyu. It’s no fun if it’s obvious you’re messing with them, so the build-up is important. You started resisting the teasing less, sitting a little closer, wearing matching bracelets—you even posted a faceless picture of him on your close friends. You’re seriously dedicated to this…Beomgyu might actually combust. He knows it’s pretend, but that doesn’t stop his poor heart from pounding wildly. When the day finally comes, he’s grateful that you think his flustered expression is just spectacular acting. 

How else was he supposed to react when you suddenly grabbed his hand? His fingers twitch in your grasp, and for a split second, he wonders if you can feel his pulse racing through his palm.

Chaewon is the first to see you two entering school hand-in-hand; usually, you meet her in the morning since you have first period together. She gasps loudly, hands flying over her lips as if she’s just witnessed the biggest plot twist of the year. It’s honestly endearing how happy she looks for you. Her eyes sparkle with excitement as she hurries over, practically skipping. She says your name in disbelief, eyes darting between you both, then down to your interlocked hands. 

“Is this what I think it is?” She squeals when you nod and pull Beomgyu a little closer without warning. Oh, he is not going to survive today. His heart does backflips, his eyes trained on you. You’re calm as ever—at least, on the surface

“Surprise.” You laugh, letting out a shaky breath. Your heart is beating unreasonably fast. You remind yourself that this is all a prank. He has Yeji—at least, he did last you checked. Then again, he’s here pretending to be your boyfriend. Sure, it technically means nothing, but it’s still a little odd. If they were really in any sort of relationship—be it a talking stage or more—would he be playing this game with you? The thought lingers, unsettling and unspoken.

“I knew it,” Chaewon says, smiling proudly. “All along. You two are so obvious.” 

“Shut up,” you grumble, rolling your eyes. Obvious? Well, of course, she’s only talking about the past week. You aren’t obvious about anything because you don’t actually like him. 

The rest of your friends react in a similar manner. Yunjin finds out through Chaewon and promptly blows up your phone in the middle of class. She catches you during passing period and is gushing, making way too much noise considering how early it is. Soobin and Kai see him walking you to third period and are immediately on your case. 

“Wait—isn’t it April Fools, though?” Soobin asks. He narrows his eyes, eyeing you suspiciously. 

"Yeah, so what?" Beomgyu shoots back, a little too quickly. A little too defensively.

“I don’t believe it,” Soobin replies, shrugging. 

“Well, no one’s begging you to. She’s my girlfriend,” he retorts. Your heart flutters at his declaration. It almost feels real for a second, like he’s really claiming you. You smile, clinging to his arm casually. 

“Couple goals,” Kai teases, laughing. Beomgyu smiles wider than he should, shaking his head. The warning bell urges you to hurry up, so you part ways with Soobin and Kai. As you enter the class, you catch his gaze lingering—like he’s waiting for something. You look away without a word, quietly taking your seat. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Lunchtime comes around quickly, but today, your friends have decided to eat outside. The sun hangs high, fluffy clouds drifting through the sky. A slow breeze contrasts the warmth of the sun, rustling the trees. Ironically, it’s you and Beomgyu who are the first to show up at the table. He’s beside you, his shoulder brushing yours—he’s close. Too close, considering your friends aren’t here yet. There’s no reason to pretend. Your heart stutters when he quietly, mindlessly reaches an arm around you—for a moment, you think maybe one of your friends is approaching, but they’re not. His head turns toward you, eyes narrowed as if he’s searching for something in your expression. Why is he staring so hard? You clear your throat and return to scrolling on social media. This is fine. You have no problem being close to him, he’s your friend. He calls your name, the sound so gentle it makes your heart stop.

“Hm?” You look up, putting your phone down. You wonder if he can hear just how fast your heart is beating. You hate it. You wish he’d stop playing with your heart like this. 

He’s not quite sure what he’s thinking, honestly. Maybe he spent too much time in class fantasizing about being your real boyfriend—feeling your soft lips against his, getting to hold you whenever. You’ve done a good job being his fake girlfriend. Perhaps that’s why he forgets about everything. He forgets that you don’t like him, that you’re out of his league. 

You’re still close, and there’s a glimmer of something in your eyes as they connect with his. It’s electric, sparking something new within him. Within you, too. Your body moves on its own, leaning into his touch. He figures it’s okay. A pretend kiss for his pretend girlfriend—just this once. His fingers flex at his side, his shaky breaths brushing across your face. He knows he shouldn’t, knows he’ll regret it, but you’re looking at him like that, with wide, glimmering eyes and already parted lips. Suddenly, it’s impossible to stop himself. His eyelashes flutter as he glances down at your inviting lips, the scent of your sweet perfume drifting in the breeze. Time seems to stretch, each second feeling like hours. Your fingers twitch at your sides, itching to pull him a little closer. He almost feels like he’s dreaming. 

And then, you’re pulling away. You gently tug out of his embrace, but the hesitation is there—a weird look in your eyes. Hurt, maybe. His warmth lingers on your skin. Your lips part like you might say something, but nothing comes out. Instead, you laugh. To him, it sounds uncomfortable, but you know just how pained it sounds. You almost let that happen. You almost forgot what day it was. April Fool’s. 

“Gyu, that’s not funny.” You mumble, averting your gaze. You almost lost control. You almost let your heart slip out of your careful grasp. Shame burns in his throat, his chest tightening as humiliation washes over him. He wants to disappear. He knew none of this would end well, but he went through with it anyway. And now it’s too late to take things back—if only he would’ve just taken a second longer to actually think. It’s almost painful how much you obviously don’t like him. You think he’s a joke. 

It’s obvious—but only when ignoring a few key details. Namely, the fact that you did lean in, for just a moment, before realizing what was happening. Of course, it must’ve been some weird prank he was trying to pull on you, and you almost fell for it. You refuse to be humiliated today. You don’t need—or want—to hear him laugh in your face and remind you that it’s pretend. More importantly, you don’t need anything to fuel the feelings brewing in your chest. You know just how bad one kiss could ruin things. It’d be impossible to stay in denial any longer. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs, looking away. You’ve given him an easy out, even if the words sound stiff on his tongue. “I just wanted to see what you’d do.” 

You manage a laugh, gently smacking his shoulder. He hates how you can just play it off, how you can act so normal as if it was all nothing. He thinks, maybe, it was—to you, at least. He’s a complete moron—he’s probably just ruined the rest of the entire day. “You’re so annoying,” you whine, masking the ache in your heart with a smile. 

He rolls his eyes, laughing as well. Though his laugh is a lot softer, tinged with melancholy as he looks away. Would it be stupid to cry over something so trivial? Probably. He’s not going to, anyway. Not in front of you, at least. 

Maybe it’s about time to stop the prank. 

taglist: @whatblop, @innies-goth-gf, @woncheecks, @ewsnup <3

a/n: yayyy! these two can never just be chill i guess. like...they always gotta have something going on. anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! only 2 - 3 chapters left omg. as always, ty for ur support and patience! likes, comments, and reblogs greatly appreciated! (≧∇≦)ﾉ <3

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You want to bash your head into the wall. The teasing has been especially bad this week; random people keep asking if you’re dating! Or, your friends will say something dumb and then someone turns their head in surprise, assuming you have a boyfriend—which you don’t. This must be some sick prank, seriously. You walk to class, shoving through the people who walk with no awareness of the people behind them. You sigh, bringing a hand to your temple to soothe the dull ache between your eyes. You scan the crowd, gaze involuntarily settling on him. Great. The last person you want to see right now—though, you’re unsure why, really. It’s not his fault that everyone’s been bugging you recently. Your ears isolate his voice, amplifying it through the loud conversation echoing throughout the halls. You blast your music, drowning out the sound. It’s always Beomgyu this, Beomgyu that, Beomgyu—

Oh god. He’s looking at you. 

Will you be late for class if you go the other way? Most definitely. Does that mean you’re going to turn back around and face him? Absolutely not. One tardy won’t kill you. Neither will a few extra steps… right? A few minutes late isn’t that bad. You ignore the smile he casts you, which turns into a frown. His wide eyes follow you as you disappear, shoulders sagging just a little before he looks away.

Maybe you’re being dramatic. It’s not like being around him will kill you—you were literally at the movies together a few days ago. Yet, somehow, your feet always move the other way before you can give it much thought. It’s only because of the gossip, though! You don’t need everyone seeing you around him. You don’t need more people to think you’re dating. Plus, you don’t want Yeji to get the wrong idea—if she wants Beomgyu, she can have him! It’d end the shipping and Beomgyu obviously likes her, anyway. He practically forgot you existed the second she came around. You have no other reason to avoid him. None at all. 

That tight, suffocating feeling in your chest means nothing. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Did he do something…? Every time he sees you, you look away and walk in the other direction. When he enters a space, you’re suddenly leaving it. You got along so well a few days ago, so what the hell happened!? He was making you laugh, conversing regularly, and spending time with you willingly. And now, well, you’re back to normal…technically. You two were never friends, but still, is he wrong for thinking things would change? You even gave him your number. 

It’s not like it matters anyway. You were probably just being nice. He’s stupid for even caring so much. Things are normal. Nothing has changed—but that is exactly the problem! They should’ve changed. Or, maybe he’s misinterpreting things? God, his head hurts. Somehow, you always have a way of making him feel guilty, even when he’s done nothing. He’s gone through every minute of last weekend over and over again, and he still can’t figure out what changed between the time you got ice cream to the time you left. 

Maybe you aren’t upset at all. You could just be shy, even if that is…completely unlike you. You were fine talking to him—you’re also known for being quite outgoing. Uh, well, he can dwell on that more later! The point is, maybe you’re waiting for him to do something first. That must be it, right? You gave him your number for a reason. He might as well send a message. Just to…see what’s up.

He finds the time—or, rather, the courage—to send a message on his walk home. The leaves rustle in the breeze, sparse sunlight reflecting against his phone screen. He sighs, eyes trained on the blinking cursor, urging him to fill in the empty text box. His fingers hover over the keys. Just be casual, Beomgyu. No need to overthink this. 

‘hi’

It’s not bad. It’s just…lacking.

‘hey, u good?’

Um. That makes it sound like he did something. But also, why would he assume you’re not?

‘hey! had fun the other day. hope ur good’

Ew. Cringe. When did texting get this hard?

‘hey, how r u?’

Yeah, no. That sounds stupid in text form. 

‘did i do something’

Too direct? Yeah. Definitely.

‘hey’

Welp, whatever. He’ll be here for ages if he doesn’t just send the stupid message. So he presses send and shuts off his phone. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

He’s checked his phone at least ten times in the last fifteen minutes. He’s met with the same thing every time—delivered. You must be busy, or something. Or, your phone could be dead—or maybe you just forgot to respond! His stomach twists. It’s no big deal. At least, not until he sees you at school the next day. On your phone. He feels a dull pang in his chest. The message is still left on delivered, the word taunting him. 

He sits at his desk, mind far away from the world. His phone buzzes—finally. He unlocks it so fast he nearly drops it. A YouTube notification stares back at him. His eyes linger on the flashy title, grip tightening on the phone. Why does he even still have notifications on for this stupid app? He sighs, placing it back on the desk, face down this time. He’s supposed to be taking notes. Though, at this point, he’s missed half of the lecture already. He’s too busy thinking about you. 

It’s obvious now. All the little things adding up, all of the almosts. Nothing is coincidental. You didn’t miss him waving at you. You didn’t just happen to be going in the complete opposite direction to class. You didn’t just suddenly have somewhere to go when he came up to you and Kai. You didn’t suddenly change your mind about wanting a drink from the vending machine right before he walked over to use it—he heard you complaining about being thirsty during P.E. 

And, unless he somehow texted the wrong number… your phone works just fine.

Why are you avoiding him? All that awkward tension dissipated a few days ago. He felt comfortable, and you seemed to feel the same way. But, maybe the shipping is getting to you? It’s kinda annoying, yeah. But…annoying enough to ghost him? Maybe this doesn’t really count as ghosting—you have to actually have some sort of relationship for that to happen. Either way, it’s gone on long enough. If you don’t want to be his friend, just say that! He won’t be hurt—at least, he’ll pretend not to be. It’s not like you can wound his pride more than you already have, knowingly or not. He refuses to chase any longer. Especially someone he just wants to be friends with! 

He’s made up his mind. He’s never been more grateful to share a class with Yunjin, one of your closest friends. He catches her as she’s packing up her things.

“Hey, Yunjin.” He mumbles, clearing his throat. God, this is a terrible idea. Here’s one way to show the world how much you totally don’t like the girl you get shipped with! Kai will never let him hear the end of it if he finds out what he’s doing right now. She casts him a warm smile, bright eyes glimmering with curiosity as she tilts her head.

“Hey. Need something?” She zips up her bag, looking expectantly into his eyes. This is so dumb. Why’d he convince himself this was a good idea? He barely knows Yunjin, as nice as she’s being right now—she’s probably weirded out. “...Beomgyu?”

Crap. He parts his lips, floundering for some way to make his request sound less…incriminating. Ergo, he already knows she’s going to tease to no end. “Uh, it’s, well…It’s y/n.” 

The sides of his face are burning. He’s definitely giving Yunjin all of the wrong ideas. He can tell by the overly pleased smile on her face, the way she’s suddenly more interested than ever in what he has to say. “Really? What about her?”

“It’s not like that! I–I just need to talk to her.” He shifts his weight, gaze wandering through the emptying classroom as though considering an escape. He hates this. 

“Mm…so what do you need my help for? Can’t you talk to her yourself?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. She’s enjoying this way too much. 

“Yeah, but… um. I think she’s avoiding me.” He mumbles, face getting even hotter. Especially when he glances up, only to find her smile widening. Trying to make a friend shouldn’t be this humiliating…

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” She teases, maintaining the same, wide smile. She laughs a little when Beomgyu huffs, frowning. His hands grip the hem of his sleeves.

“I don’t know, can you just—help me? Please.” He replies, exasperated. Yunjin sighs, finally taking him seriously. She throws her bag over her shoulder, shrugging.

“Okay, fine. What d’you need me to do?” She ushers him to walk, so he does, following her out of class.

“Um…just tell her to meet you after school. I’ll, uh, handle the rest.” He looks away. Yunjin is already pulling out her phone, typing out a message. Well damn, that was fast. 

“Alright, I can do that. Meet where?” She glances up, waiting for his reply. He blinks, mind blanking for a moment. He, honestly, hadn’t even thought that far. He clears his throat, going with the first thing to pop into his mind.

“Just out front. Um, and then I’ll show up, so. You don’t have to actually meet her.” He mumbles, watching as she types some more. His heart lurches. Shit. He’s really doing this.

“M’kay, done. Good luck! I hope she says yes.” She smiles teasingly, and Beomgyu doesn’t have the energy to correct whatever assumptions she’s made.

“Yeah. Thanks…” He nods, watching her disappear into the crowd of students. Well, no going back now. The hallways feel smaller, the air heavier, as he makes his way to class. He barely hears the chatter around him as he walks. What the hell is doing?

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

There you are, leaning against the wall, gaze focused on your phone. Your eyes connect with his, and for a moment it feels like all the air is being sucked from his lungs. Maybe he should’ve just taken the hint—left you alone. Would that have been better? Yeah. But he shouldn’t have to guess what you want. He shouldn’t have to read between the lines to figure out if he’s done something wrong. He’s already committed to this, and he doesn’t plan on letting you escape this time. You push off the wall, feet moving faster than your brain. Yunjin was taking forever, anyway, so you’ll just have to hope that whatever she wanted to meet you for wasn’t too important. 

He takes long strides, fingers wrapping gently around your wrist to stop you. 

“Y/N, wait—” He huffs, clearing his throat. You stare at him wide-eyed, cheeks a faint shade of pink. Well, this is great. Somehow, you hadn’t anticipated that he’d approach you so directly. His heart pounds against his ribcage, words wobbly. “Hey, um. Did you get my text? I’m worried I got the wrong number…”

His careful eyes observe you, searching for any hint of anything. Anger, disgust, hurt… You look away, pulling your wrist from his grasp. Well, this is awkward. You did, in fact, get the text message. Yesterday. You muster a smile and a painfully forced laugh. 

"Oh!" You hesitate, fingers tightening around the strap of your backpack. "Yeah. I saw it, I just…I don’t know. I guess I forgot to reply. Sorry."

“No, it’s okay!” It’s really not. You just ‘forgot,” meanwhile he was checking his phone every five minutes for a reply. He straightens, hesitating for just a moment before forcing himself to speak.  “Um—well, I was…I was just wondering if we could hang out.”

“Oh.” You hesitate. “I don’t know if—”

“There’s a cafe nearby. It’s really good!” He cuts you off, sensing the oncoming rejection through your tone of voice alone. His head perks up, eyes looking into yours. He’s grasping at straws, trying to think up something to get your attention for more than a minute. “I’ll pay.”

“Beomgyu—” You start, chest tight. There’s no real excuse to reject his offer. God, you wish he’d stop looking at you like that—wide, pleading eyes, brows pulled together like you’re important. Like you matter. You wonder how anyone could ever say no to him. Uh, wait, no—not him specifically, just…a gaze like that. 

“Please?” He asks, voice a little softer. Wow. You should probably feel embarrassed by how quickly one simple word can change your mind. Suddenly, you’re more than happy to go! Only because he’s making you feel bad…

“...Okay.” You relent, nodding with a small sigh.

The walk there is silent, but Beomgyu doesn’t dare risk scaring you off somehow. It took a lot to even convince you to come along…he doesn’t need to give you a reason to scurry away again. As for Yunjin, you felt relieved to know that she didn’t need to meet you, after all. A dainty bell jingles overhead as you enter the cafe. The space is lit with warm lights, the scent of coffee wafting through the air. Quiet music plays overhead, the sound of subdued chatter floating through the warm space. You follow him to a small table tucked in the corner, taking a seat across from him. He doesn’t realize how hard he’s staring, but you certainly do. Your heart jumps before you clear your throat, shifting in your seat and adjusting your sweater. His words itch at the back of his throat, fingers tapping against the wooden table.

“Did I do something?” He blurts out, voice cutting through the tension. Fuck. That was way too blunt. His face goes red, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. “I mean, like, it feels like you’re avoiding me?” 

God. He hates how pathetic he sounds. So much for trying to not scare you away.

“Um…no?” You reply, frowning a little bit. Did you make it that obvious?

“No what?” He asks, head tilting.

“Well, you didn’t do anything.” You mumble. His expression manages to make you feel guilty for withholding information. His wide, dejected gaze staring into yours. Your heart softens, and so does your voice. “But, uh…I guess—I didn’t want to fuel the rumors, y’know? So…”

So yeah, you did avoid him.

“I see.” He slumps in his seat, gaze moving down to his hands. His fingers clasp together, like he’s bracing himself. He swallows, jaw flexing.

“I mean, I didn’t think you’d…care.” You add on, hoping to see some shift in his sullen expression. Instead, it just hardens, his face going blank. Your heart aches, lips pursing. You messed up.

“I don’t.” He replies, his voice detached. He doesn’t care. Why would he?

The server finally comes by to interrupt the excruciatingly suffocating tension. One more second and you might’ve tried to merge with the chair you’re sitting in. Beomgyu keeps his eyes steady on the menu in front of him, hating the way his voice shakes as he places his order. The server walks away with a cheerful smile, a small bounce in her step as she maneuvers through the small cafe. He sighs, finding his voice again. 

“So…it’s just because of the rumors?” He asks, risking a glance up to you again. You're staring at him, a small crease between your eyebrows. You look away when his gaze meets yours, fingers pulling at your sleeves.

“I guess.” You shrug. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to lie. Not completely. Deep down, you know it’s not just the rumors. There’s something else there, too. An unfamiliar, bitter feeling brewing beneath the surface.

“You guess.” He repeats, nodding with pursed lips. You’ve managed to make things worse. Congrats!

“Well—” You attempt to backtrack, but he stops you.

“You can just tell me if you don’t want to be friends. I’m not made of glass.” His voice is cold, but you can sense the vague hurt lingering beneath the surface. It’s in his eyes. He grips the edge of the table a little too tight, his breaths uneven.

“I do, it’s just–” You try again. Still, he wants none of it.

“Y/n.” Your heart jumps at his sudden use of your name. He says it so softly, yet so firmly that it destroys all your walls at once. Your face heats up a little, gaze connecting with his.

“Yeah?” You whisper.

“I really like you—as a person.” He looks away, lips parted silently as he takes a short breath. “And, I guess…I just- I want to be friends. Am I so wrong for that? Who cares about some dumb ship name?” 

His gaze is intense, eyes shimmering, pleading with you to understand. He’s right. At the end of the day, it’s all just a stupid joke. You’re letting something so irrelevant control your life and your decision-making, when really…

“I like you too. As a person.” You finally reply, smiling softly. But even as you say it, something twists in your chest. It’s the truth—at least, part of it. The words settle awkwardly on your tongue, like they don’t quite fit.

“Then…let’s be friends. Who cares what anyone says? They’ll tease, anyway. Whether we’re friends or not.” He smiles, leaning over the table, offering his hand to you. You stare at it for a moment, briefly admiring how soft it looks—that’s not important right now.

“...Yeah. Okay.” You nod, taking his hand in yours and shaking it gently. His warmth lingers after the fact, your hand tingling as you suppress the warmth threatening to overtake your body. 

You shouldn’t be so happy over something so small. But you are. And that scares you.

taglist: @whatblop, @innies-goth-gf, @woncheecks, @ewsnup <3

a/n: she's finally here!!! i finally escaped the procrastination demons...anyways. after some revisions to my original plan for the fic and combining some chapters, im estimating about 4 more left! we'll see though. i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! thx for your patience! (>_0) ♡

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