therubblefromyou

I apologize in advance

By the time you'll come into life

My walls would probably be 50 feet high

Made of steel, not of bricks

Impossible to break through

You'd be exhausted breaking it down

And I hope you can live with that

I'm sorry

If there would be stories you will never hear

I hope you like my heart on a platter

Shiny and new like it's never known heartbreak

And a body offered to you who's never known hands in the dark like wolves feasting on a live prey

I promise by the time you'll be in my life

That I've spun my lies so flawlessly

You'd never know I'd been through love and so much loss before I met you

I promise you'd never know the names of the shadows under my bed

I'll keep them in a box and throw away the key

But I'm sorry

If at times I would flinch at your very touch

Because your touch would feel like fire against my skin

And darling, behind the facade of porcelain

You'll never know how empty of a shell I've become

I promise not to give you that part of me

I apologize in advance

If you'd fall for a lie

If sometimes the stories wouldn't match

And I'd often want to be alone

But if you do come into my life

I promise to treat you kind

But I'm sorry

Darling, you'd only love a lie

I am writing this now with much older eyes

A few years back I wrote about putting up walls 50 feet high

And stories that you’ll never hear

And apologies in advance that you’ll only be loving a lie

But you came my way

And the stories poured, along with newer scars the old me knew nothing about

Who knew you’d know about the stories I myself have long forgotten

I thought I threw away the key and crafted my lines perfectly that you’d think I’d never known love and loss - again, I was mistaken

For you are the softest and safest love I could ever imagine

The one I’d read about but never dared to write about - because how can I write about it if I’ve not lived it?

But you. I am at a loss of words of the entirety of you.

The stories you heard, you said, are merely just that - just stories

And as your hands touch my skin, they don’t burst into flames and hurt

It feels like a familiar hello.

The one that feels like, “hello stranger, I’ve met you before. Where have you been all this time?”

Let me apologize though

Because I know I have fallen so deeply for you

That I will love you immensely and truly - and I do

That I would not want to let you slip through my fingers

I will kiss all your scars as you have with mine

I apologize in advance

I think I’ll love you forever

If that even exists to begin with.

To the person who came my way

A thousand apologies for not waiting for you

I never thought you’d actually arrive

But a million thank you’s for even looking my way

I am completely yours. In all the ways. In every way.

And I hope you’re here to stay.

"With every day you disappear more deeply."