The 3hree Triplets

From International Women's Day...

Although International Women's Day was yesterday, posting today only supports my belief that women should be recognized, appreciated, and celebrated every day. International Women's Day is certainly a day to celebrate the accomplishments of women everywhere, but it is also a day to reflect on the lack of parity along the gender spectrum, specifically between women and men. I'm sure that many have come to the same conclusion, but as a man in a society in which "male" is the most privileged gender, I feel a personal obligation to do all that I can to help achieve this parity.

I remember when I first declared myself a feminist--my sophomore year of high school. It feels almost ridiculous to have had to do that, to declare myself as something which seems so natural now, but it seems that amongst men, "feminism" and "feminist" are buzz words, taboo, often loaded with anxiety and difficult to claim as our own. Let me be clear--feminism and the feminist movement is for ALL people, including men. Feminism is not emasculating, weak, or anti-men. At its core, feminism simply advocates for women's social, economic, and political rights to be equal to men's. It isn't about hating men, it isn't about taking away from men. If you don't agree that women should be equal to men, then you may cut ties with me now. I have no issue with a difference of opinion, you don't even have to declare yourself a feminist, but I will not tolerate those in my circle to desire anything less than equal rights between the genders. Continuing, INTERSECTIONALITY is a part of feminism. Period. Feminism is about all types of women. I almost feel silly writing this, considering that wanting equal rights along the gender spectrum is a simple idea. This isn't to belittle any opinions or to diss men, but something must be said. In a society where such inequitable beliefs are qualified by media and general societal norms, there must be a pushback. Action must be taken.

Deeming myself a feminist has never been enough. A claim such as this is not substantial--there must be action. Action means being an active bystander for women. Action means checking my friends when they say something sexist or misogynistic. Action means doing my own research to understand women's issues (which are really my issues too). It entails the understanding that I make mistakes, that I am not above anyone else. Most of all, action means listening to women and their experiences. The only way to solve a problem is to first understand it. This means asking women about their experiences, amplifying their voices when they tell us (men) what's up, and listening more than we speak. This is our issue, but not ours to lead. I say all of this to demonstrate that those with privilege must use it to help others. I have no doubt in the strength of women's voices and their abilities to advocate for their equality, but the simple fact is that their voices and experiences are often marginalized. As a male who is privileged enough to be heard, it is my obligation to shift the focus to their experiences and their voices, to support as they lead.

So this post is really for my male friends, a simple request that we all listen to women more and do our best to understand their experiences. Expose yourself to new ideas and discussions. If you want to know what a woman thinks or feels, ask her, not other men. This is not to give women any special treatment or to detract from our own problems, but rather, to give them the attention they have long deserved but have been denied. This isn't a quick fix but it is a place to start. It won't be easy and it isn't always comfortable, but it is necessary. Let's start by listening.

Get Your Stretch On!