the_1975

not this shit again. paige threw her head back against her headboard with a sigh. 

chillllll bro

it’s a vibe

she couldn’t think of any better way to explain what was happening. they didn’t really hang out alone, but they texted a lot. and flirted. paige was trying beyond comparison to be chill and normal, and was doing her damnedest to not hit on her. 

the only problem was that azzi fudd was jawdropping. paige had never in her life seen someone that gorgeous. to make things worse, she had a thing for talent, and the way azzi could shoot– paige got genuine heart palpitations watching her sink shots in practice. 

they were only a year apart, but azzi was her fellow number-one-draft-pick and her rookie of a whopping one month. it was stupid to have a crush on her, stupid to send her dumb jokes and to hang around her after practice as much as possible. paige should be leading. paige should be setting examples. 

well if she was leading the homo brigade and setting examples on how to look pathetic, she was doing a pretty good job. 

arike: wait did u know each other in college?

no, paige replied, too quick. the answer was more complicated than that; of course paige had known who azzi was in college. they’d played each other a handful of times. but college-paige had only cared about one thing while on the court: a natty. azzi was nothing more than another player to scout, some straight girl with a good shot. 

only, azzi wasn’t straight. and she was certainly no longer just another player that paige could ignore. 

sure, she’d seen the headlines back in the day– bueckers vs fudd, who will carry their team to victory– but it was all some bullshit. 

arike: bullshit 😂

arike: [picture attached]

paige squinted. it was a picture of her and azzi at some conference, azzi mid laugh at something and paige making a face. 

dang, paige had no clue where that had been taken. she’d given so many speeches with so many players over the years, made so much small talk– it could have been taken the week prior and paige wouldn’t have had the faintest idea. 

i dont even remember that bro fr fr

arike: she looks mad good tho

yeah

arike: 😂🫵

shut up. paige locked her phone, rolling her eyes. bait. 

after about three seconds, she unlocked it again, re-opening the picture and zooming in a little on azzi. dang, she really did look good. 

arike: don’t look too hard at it. you gotta look her in the eye at practice tomorrow ;)

kill yourself, paige shot back, locking her phone again and throwing it on her nightstand. it buzzed once more, but she refused to look. 

laying on her back and staring at the ceiling, she rested her hands on her chest. stupid. her heart beat against her palms. 

she closed her eyes, deciding to fall asleep. the image of azzi sprung into her mind, mid-smile, bathed yellow in the living room light. her mind supplied a little glint in her eye, a detail of a freckle on her cheek, a little curl by her ear. her heart rate sped up, pounding against her hands. 

“fuck,” she groaned. this was bad. she should not be thinking this much about azzi. but at the end of the night… she let herself flash back to earlier. 

…

if you asked paige what project hail mary was about, she’d be able to give you about a two word summary. first word: azzi. second word: fudd. 

the team was getting to know each other with all the new additions, hanging out at alanna’s house and watching a movie. it was literally nothing special– alanna just happened to have the biggest space to hang out, and they ordered food to eat and lounged around. 

half the team was off to the right, talking at the kitchen table in the next room. the remainder were huddled in the living room around two bowls of popcorn. 

when the movie started, paige was cognizant of about thirty seconds of science fiction freakiness before her gay brain took over entirely. azzi sat directly to her left, muscular arm brushing against paige’s, thigh pressed into hers. she didn’t seem to be aware of how close they were, at all, which was unfortunate because the situation was a little catastrophic for paige. 

she exhaled a little strangely and winced. smooth. nice.

it was honestly ridiculous, feeling her stomach jolt at the feeling of a pretty girl next to her. paige had cuddled with plenty of girls on couches before, had lounged around with tons of her friends. she should know what to do with her hands, should be able to keep her anxious stomach in check. 

but azzi was a category that paige couldn’t define; one year paige’s junior, and her athletic equal, paige felt responsible for ensuring her well-being. paige also felt like her brain melted like a popsicle every time azzi spoke words to her. which was unfortunate, because that was a lot. 

if this was a date, or if azzi was anyone but paige’s coworker that she was sitting with at a group function, paige would have leaned right into the touch and played along. if azzi were her longtime friend, paige would have manspreaded into her space to try to get on her nerves. but azzi was neither, and paige couldn’t decide how to act, so she just sat there, stiff. 

paige’s internal monologue was as follows: arm. she smells good. her hair is brushing my shoulder. can she feel how fast i’m breathing from the rise and fall of my shoulder? arm. thigh. dang, she really smells good. should i kill myself?

after about twenty minutes, azzi grew visibly uncomfortable. she shifted her torso away from paige, against the armrest of the couch, and drew her feet up to where they stopped just shy of resting on paige’s legs. 

paige stared really hard at her feet. she wanted to ask her– was it weird? 

no, it was weirder to overthink it. it was a friendly gesture, a kind gesture. they were hanging out. it was chill. 

“azzi,” she muttered. the brunette turned towards her, eyes wide and expectant. “stretch your legs out.”

azzi’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. trying to stop her cheeks from pinkening, paige patted her own lap. here. 

azzi smiled gratefully, understanding. she shifted her body so that her back was against the armrest, legs splaying across paige’s lap. 

bzzz. bzzz. paige’s phone vibrated violently from her pocket. her eyes snapped up, scanning the room. aziaha, who was sitting on a chair to their right, was pointedly raising an eyebrow at her.

aziaha: bro….

aziaha: be fr

paige stole a frantic glance at azzi to see if she was watching paige’s screen. which she wasn’t, clearly. why would she be? 

dude chill i’m just helping her be more comfortable

aziaha: wouldn’t have done ts for me 🤨

ur feet stink like poo 

she smells like sunshine and rainbows

aziaha: there’s a word for the likes of you and it rhymes with bomosexual

i swear bro i swear

don’t even know her middle name stop talking crazy

of course paige knew her middle name. her middle name was jazlyn. she’d found that out when she’d looked up azzi fudd on google, and also azzi fudd college highlights, and also azzi fudd from where and what perfume smells like jasmine but like better and valentino born in roma perfume and is there a born in roma cologne. she’d gotten distracted.

okay, jesus. she needed to focus. 

ryan gosling, in the movie, was wearing a really distracting yellow coat that made paige think of curious george. they were saying something about the sun dying, and paige wondered if they made him yellow on purpose. like the sun. that was dying. maybe he was going to die later in the movie, and it was foreshadowing.

she kept trying to see him as a serious scientist, but she couldn’t stop thinking of him as ken from barbie. this was Depressed Ken, maybe. he was certainly dressed the part, in some bullshit a depressed person would pull from their closet without thinking twice. 

her brain launched into an impromptu performance of i’m just ken, and she lost track of a decent amount of minutes before she came crashing back online. 

azzi’s legs were shifting uncomfortably again. don’t move, she wanted to say, but that would be pathetic. 

“you uncomfortable?” she murmured. stupid. clearly, azzi was uncomfortable. 

“yeah,” azzi whispered. “this armrest is really hard.”

“that’s what she said,” paige whispered back. azzi socked her on the arm. 

aziaha sat up straight. “what are y’all whispering about over there? i’m getting fomo.”

“i’m wondering if there’s a pillow i could use? the armrest is kind of hard,” azzi asked. 

at the conversation, everyone’s heads turned towards them. paige suddenly became incredibly aware of the two legs draped across her thighs, of the way her hands laid on top of them awkwardly. 

shit. she desperately did not want to seem like she was trying to make moves on the rookie, regardless of how incredibly badly she wanted to make moves on the rookie. 

“just use paige,” aziaha suggested. to azzi, she might have looked genuine, but to paige, who’d known her longer, she could see the shit-eating smile aziaha was trying to hide. she narrowed her eyes at her. 

“hey!” she complained. 

“paige got all that muscle now. go head and put it to good use.” paige was going to smack her the next time she got within arm’s reach.

azzi’s eyes flicked down for a second. paige unintentionally flexed a little. “yeah, alright.” azzi decided, shifting herself around. 

paige’s mind went full blown static as azzi laid down on her lap, on her back, head facing the screen and feet hanging over the armrest. it was a wonder sparks didn’t fly out of her head by the way that she was short-circuiting. azzi’s head was warm against paige’s thighs, flyaways brushing her bare skin with every breath. 

paige had the horrible urge to smooth her hands over azzi’s head, to play with her hair and scratch her scalp, and then she decided that she needed to die. honestly, she genuinely didn’t know how azzi was comfortable, but she wasn’t about to ask and risk her moving. 

she needed to distract herself, stat. could azzi hear her heartbeat in her thighs? was that a thing? because that could be a problem. clearing her throat, she squinted at the television and tried to pay attention again. 

on the screen, ryan gosling was having an existential crisis in a tunnel while eating some shit from a thermos. then, he was staring really hard at a plaque. then, he was doing some sciency shit in a lab coat that tried to cover up the world’s ugliest striped sweater. 

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time, paige’s brain sang. she snorted out loud. that was a good spongebob reference. 

azzi turned her head so she was looking up at paige. 

“what?” she asked, quiet. christ, she was beautiful. and really near paige’s crotch. enough.

paige blinked back at her. 

“what’s funny?” azzi tried again, whispering. 

“nothing,” paige muttered, “was thinking about something else.”

that seemed to be good enough for azzi, who rolled back over. paige spent the next few minutes thinking about the shape of azzi’s lips and pretending that she wasn’t. 

paige’s leg started to feel numb. azzi, bless her heart, was completely restricting blood flow to her lower left extremity. unfortunately, paige would rather die than kick a beautiful girl out of her lap, and she didn’t want to look fucking stupid, so she resolved herself to ignoring it and hoping her leg would figure it out. 

“wait, why is he on a plane?” azzi turned again, asking under her breath. 

“i really couldn’t tell you,” paige admitted. “i’ve been thinking about how to get the last piece of popcorn from that bowl without moving your head.”

azzi’s mouth curved upwards into a small smile. she reached her hand out and grabbed the last piece, holding it in front of paige’s face. the demons in paige told her to take it with her mouth, but she was a rational human being, and she let azzi drop it into her hands. 

“isn’t it cold now?” azzi asked. 

“eh,” paige shrugged, “like, room temperature. it’s still nice and salty, and that’s what matters.”

azzi wrinkled her nose. “makes me too thirsty.”

“good thing you have a water then, thirsty girl.”

thirsty girl? was paige fucking serious?

azzi snorted. she was fully looking up, then, not paying any attention to the movie. paige stared at her, hoping the dim lighting of the room was enough to cover the way she greedily drank in the sight of all of azzi’s face. 

“what’s he doing now?” azzi whispered. 

paige, with great effort, tore her eyes away from azzi to look at the screen. “he’s standing in front of a room of people who look like they’re in the military.”

azzi listened for a second. “i keep hearing ken whenever he opens his mouth.”

paige’s head snapped back down. “right?”

“he was just so good in that role. it ruined any of his other movies for me.”

“he was the perfect casting,” paige agreed. 

they looked at each other. dang, paige’s leg was really numb. 

paige was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to bend down and kiss her, awkward and mismatched, uncaring of anything but the feeling of their lips against each other. she held azzi’s gaze, dark and unblinking, and her thoughts started moving a million miles a minute. 

no, she shouldn’t. azzi was her fucking rookie, for god’s sake, and who knows what the team, let alone the rest of the world, would have to say about it. and it would be ridiculous to do it right there, in front of everyone. she’d never in her life gotten the impulse for such drastic pda. 

but she wanted to. 

azzi’s tongue darted out and wet her lower lip. paige followed the movement with her eyes, eyelids falling just a fraction. 

there was a sudden warmth at the corner of paige’s mouth, and she startled as she realized that azzi’s gentle thumb was brushing at her skin. 

“salt,” azzi murmured in explanation, like she hadn’t just given paige a heart attack. paige wanted her to do it again. the way azzi looked at her lips, the feeling of her soft and sweet, was intoxicating. 

paige’s breath caught in her chest, and her mind went a little blank, and–

she hissed loudly, leg jolting hard. fucking pins and needles, jesus christ, her entire leg was being stabbed–

azzi shot up. “what? oh my god, are you okay?”

even through the pain, paige felt immediately cold. “yes, yeah, pins and needles.”

someone paused the movie. “paige, bro, what–”

“pins and needles,” she groaned again, louder, “ignore me, play the movie.”

azzi laughed in her face, the rest of the team joining in. azzi patted her thigh gently. 

“fuck,” paige muttered, “sorry.” she tried to give her a sheepish smile. 

“s’okay,” azzi shrugged, “my fault.” she knocked her shoulder against paige’s, turning back to the tv. paige needed to get her fucking act together. 

____

TWO: 

paige had now known azzi for two and a half months. in the last week, alanna and jj had both singled her out to inquire about the status of her and azzi’s relationship; she’d had to tell them both a miserable no. 

with how chill all of her teammates were being about it, she figured that the whole “azzi is a rookie” hangup didn’t hold much water now. paige herself had only been in the league for one measly year, as arike liked to remind her. 

the point was that that was a good thing, because she was now pretty sure that azzi was flirting with her. 

she wasn’t positive, of course– it was very much a possibility that paige’s own delusional thoughts were misinterpreting azzi’s actions entirely. maybe azzi was looking for a super close best friend when she texted paige good morning with a little sun and a heart every day. they clicked so well on and off the court, it would make sense. 

but paige had to let hope cloud her vision a little, especially at times like this, where–

arike: bro where did u guys go

arike: always disappearing somewhere together i swear

arike: this my own house

arike: don’t desecrate it

woah woah calm down

we’re just talking in the driveway

arike: don’t wanna watch the fireworks out back with the team?

we’re having fun

ur buffalo chicken dip is fire

arike: of course it is

arike: come inside and eat my wife’s dessert before i whoop you both

be there in a minute mom

arike was hosting the team for a fourth of july party. everything was going well this season, and the wings were coming off a much-needed win. they were celebrating in the dallas heat, everyone a little happy and sweaty.

there’s a line paige remembered from to kill a mockingbird about the southern heat, something about the ladies being like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum. she said as much to azzi, who looked at her kind of funny. it sparked a conversation about whether or not talcum was a carcinogen, a topic on which neither of them were particularly knowledgeable. 

the point of her thought process was that azzi looked sweet and shiny and smelled really good, and paige kind of wanted to eat her whole.

as previously mentioned, half the season gone by had done wonders for getting rid of the azzi-is-a-rookie nerves. paige tried not to be corny, but azzi fit into her life in a way that she never expected her to. they had similar interests, hobbies, and humor, and they became practically inseparable. sports media adored them, calling them all kinds of names and gushing over their chemistry. 

it wasn’t something paige was proud of, having a fat and massive crush on azzi, but it was truly impossible not to. the more she’d gotten to know her, the worse it had become. she kept expecting azzi to do something weird and offputting that would change the way paige felt, but paige was endeared to all of her quirks. they just fit together.

time after practice was spent grabbing food together, time off on the weekends was spent hanging out with each other’s friends, and time before bed was spent texting back and forth about whatever crossed their mind. it was nice.

dressed in a striped blue tube top and little shorts, azzi looked like a muscled vision sitting next to paige on the pavement. her knees were drawn up to her chest, chin resting atop one. paige had been resisting the urge to wrap her arms around her for about twenty minutes straight. 

paige looked like an idiot in a white wifebeater and massive firetruck-red jorts, her butt in genuine pain from digging into the driveway. she probably had pebbles stuck up her crack. not really. but it felt like that. that was the common theme with paige when it came to azzi; she was stupid around her. every time she considered making a move, she managed to make herself feel so dumb that she thought azzi would get weirded out. 

“i just think it’s unrealistic for king kong to be that massive. like, think of evolution. everything got small again before apes even evolved,” paige complained. 

“not everything,” azzi disagreed, “think about whales.”

“yeah, but that’s underwater. they got their own freaky shit going on down there. i’m talking about on land.”

“well, why don’t you have a problem with godzilla?”

“because they didn’t make godzilla a massive fucking ape. massive fucking ape implies real-world evolution.”

“they probably have some logic for it. maybe he got chemicals spilled on him, or he was part of a species of giant apes living on an island and he was the last one, or something,” azzi mused. 

“massive fucking ape,” paige grumbled, again. “stupid.”

“you’re stupid.”

“your mom.”

azzi rolled her eyes, but paige could see her biting back a smile. 

a loud popping sound rang out, and they both winced. 

“oh– there, there!” azzi pointed, excited. the house diagonal from arike’s must have been setting off fireworks from their backyard, because the sparks were loud and massive. 

azzi’s eyes were wide as she looked up at the trailing colors streaking the sky. she looked beautiful, calm and happy, fully at peace in the moment. paige studied the way the lights fizzled out in the reflection on azzi’s pupils. 

on instinct, she moved her pinky so that it overlapped azzi’s. azzi turned to her, then; paige couldn’t tell if her cheeks were a little pink in the fading light or if it was a lingering beam from the almost-set sun. 

“this is romantic,” azzi said quietly. 

paige blanked, eyes widening. “what,” she said, more caught off-guard than a question. 

“i mean,” azzi clarified, flustered, “like, y’know, in the sense of the word where it means something pretty. like romanticize. like it– it just feels really lovely.” she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. 

right. sure. 

“i guess it could also be romantic,” azzi was definitely blushing, “with the right person.”

“yeah,” paige agreed, dumbly. she didn’t know why she said what she said next, but she did. “at my family’s cabin in minnesota, we used to go to the lake every fourth of july. my dad and my stepmom, well, my first stepmom, used to always stop what they were doing and kiss at the first firework.”

azzi leaned her shoulder against paige. “that’s really sweet.”

paige laughed. “yeah, i mean– they didn’t work out, clearly, but i always kinda wanted to do that some day. have a family, have a woman i love, make up stupid reasons to kiss each other. y’know.”

azzi’s pinky twitched underneath paige’s. “my dad does something similar,” she said. “he does this stupid thing called pancake kisses, where he makes pancakes on saturday mornings, and he kisses my mom once for every pancake she eats.”

paige grinned. “i could get behind that. i eat a lot of pancakes.”

“oh, you wouldn’t be the one making them?”

“depends. which would you prefer?” paige asked.

“i like waking up to the smell of batter and eggs,” azzi admitted.

“then i change my mind. i’d be the one making them.”

“whatever,” azzi grumbled, but she looked away and tried to hide a pleased smile. 

“are you someone who,” paige cleared her throat, “really likes things like that?”

azzi thought about it for a second before nodding. “yeah, i mean. my parents have always been like that, so i guess it’s by example. i just think it’s so sweet, always doing things to keep the relationship special,” she paused, “what about you?”

“probably, for the right person. i like keeping things fun. and i like to make people i care about feel appreciated,” paige admitted. 

azzi made a playfully intrigued face. “good to know.”

“taking notes?”

“maybe. you want me to?”

paige choked a little on her own spit, and tried to pass it off by clearing her throat. “wouldn’t complain.”

“then i’ll jot it down, boss.”

“perfect.”

“aren’t i?”

“yeah.” paige should kill herself. what the hell was she even saying? she couldn’t flirt for shit. was this flirting? jesus, what if azzi wasn’t even flirting?

“i get that a lot,” azzi sighed, scooting a little closer to paige so their sides pressed together fully, “usually in more,” she paused, “intimate context.”

nope, azzi was flirting. 

“oh?” 

“you heard me.”

paige laughed softly. “i’ll jot it down, boss.”

“perfect.”

the conversation lulled for a moment. another round of fireworks went off, red and spiraling high into the air before exploding. paige took a moment to appreciate what a blessing it was that she was able to be there, seeing something beautiful, warm and full of something like hope, with someone she cared about. 

she turned to face azzi. she kind of wanted to see the awe on azzi’s face as she looked up at the lights, to trace the curves of her face in mental graphite and commit it to memory forever. azzi, though, was already looking at her, eyes deep and dark. 

“you look pretty,” azzi whispered. 

which was ridiculous, because azzi was making paige’s heart functionally arrhythmic in her chest. paige couldn’t even think of the words to rebut that, just let her eyes drag down azzi’s frame and back up to her face. she raised an eyebrow as if to say really? coming from you?

azzi scrunched up her nose and smiled. paige felt a little breathless, a little captivated. jesus christ, she wanted to lean in so badly. she was fairly sure that azzi wanted her to. she let herself imagine moving forward, capturing azzi’s lips in hers, cupping her jaw and finally, finally, kissing her.

azzi blinked up at her slowly, and paige’s pinky curled around azzi’s. her heart fluttered against her chest like a caged bird, violent and frenzied. 

she wanted it bad. she wanted it like an angel pleading for its fucking wings.

but they were sitting outside of arike’s house. in public, on the pavement, in front of the windows, where anyone could be watching. she couldn’t. she couldn’t do it right there. 

oh, shit, arike. “oh my god,” paige blurted out, heart sinking. “arike wanted us inside, like, twenty minutes ago. she’s gonna kill us.”

azzi stared at her for a second like she was still processing her words. “yeah,” she said, slowly. 

“we’re dead,” paige groaned, “they’re gonna give us shit for the next week.”

“yeah,” azzi repeated, brushing off whatever haze she was in. she shook her head and stood up, facing the door. “nice night, huh?” 

paige brushed her hands off as she scrambled to stand up, too.

“let’s go eat lala’s dessert,” azzi said, turning away and walking. 

that was abrupt, paige thought. did she look a little disappointed? shit.

azzi made it to the door, opening it and waiting for paige. 

“one second, i need to tie my shoe. go on ahead,” paige lied, waving azzi in. the younger woman disappeared through the door.

“fuck!” paige cursed, kicking a rock on the pavement. “stupid!”

__

THREE: 

it was the beginning of august. count of people who’d asked paige if she and azzi were together: fourteen. her mother, for one. her college best friends. the trainer. her dietician. name them, and they’d asked paige if she’d had her tongue three thousand leagues down the length of azzi’s gullet. it was beginning to piss her off, honestly. if that wasn’t obvious.

don’t say a word.

arike: wasn’t gonna

arike: later… 😏

NOTHING later. i will kill you. with a gun.

arike: hey man

arike: you’re digging your own grave

the team were sitting around a table, plenty of drinks for everyone. the place was a nice one, crisp black tabletops and comfortable chairs. they’d even given the table a bowl of chips to snack on, which paige was pleased with. the music was fairly loud, enough to really worm into paige’s brain when she finished her second beer, but it was nothing unpleasant. 

underneath the table, azzi’s hand was on paige’s thigh. 

it had started with her turning to the side, quietly complimenting paige’s rings while the rest of the team were arguing about something. paige had shown them to her, and she’d leaned in to get a better look, and paige had lost her breath at the proximity and felt like a fucking loser. 

azzi said, “i like the one that spins. i always need something to fidget with.” 

paige replied, “feel free,” and stuck her hand out. azzi giggled, dragging her fingernail up paige’s hand to the ring on her middle finger. she spun it gently once, twice, and gave paige a grateful smile. 

paige tried to tune back into the conversation after that, but she noticed that her and azzi’s chairs seemed inexplicably closer. she tried to laugh at something alanna was saying, tried to make fun of aziaha, but her brain kept replaying that little tilt of azzi’s lips. 

she was wearing this really shiny gloss that somehow hadn’t come off as she sipped her cocktail with a straw, and she also smelled really nice, and–

paige felt a finger trail across her knuckles. her eyes shot down to her lap, where her hands rested, and she saw azzi’s hand gently stroking her way back up to paige’s ring. paige felt her face pinken, and her free hand nervously came up to stroke at her ponytail. 

she stole a glance at azzi, but azzi was turned forwards, intently listening to the conversation in front of them. her hand was as low as possible, trying to be discreet– and she knew paige would let her. paige felt hot. 

not five minutes later, azzi’s fingers drew a sharp path down, onto paige’s lap. 

paige looked over, eyes widening in question, and azzi breathed a laugh. “these rips are bothering me.”

rips? what rips? 

right. the rips in her jeans. paige begged her brain to come back online. “what, you want them bigger? can’t see enough of me?”

not that online, jesus christ. middle ground. middle ground. 

azzi’s eyelids lowered just a fraction, barely noticeable. “no, the little white strands that come off of them– they’re all tangled.”

“so detangle them,” paige muttered, shifting her attention back to arike. the older woman was complaining about her brother-in-law, something about coming over to her house to detail his own car in her driveway. 

azzi didn’t need to be told twice. for a few minutes, she tugged on the outside of the rips, combing fingers through and separating them. she didn’t even look down as she did, just felt around paige’s thigh for the next rip and kept moving. 

when she finished tugging on the strands, her fingertip would circle the tear gently, as if seeking out another strand to focus on. if there were none there, she’d stay there for a minute, softly stroking the skin of paige’s thigh. she’d start with the pad of her finger, little lines, then edge it over to her fingernail, drawing little shapes. when she was bored of that, she’d go back to stroking, a little firmer and bolder.

it only became a problem when she reached one particularly close to the inside of paige’s thigh. the top half of paige wanted to jerk away– not appropriate for team dinner– and the bottom half of paige wanted– well. it wanted.

a bit more forcefully than she would have liked, she brought her hand over top of azzi’s, forcing it flat and stopping her movements. 

alanna turned towards her questioningly, looking down. paige drew her hand back up, tucking her hair behind her ear. she tried so hard to be nonchalant that her elbow knocked against the top of azzi’s chair, and she ended up extending her arm across it. 

great. now her arm was practically around azzi. subtle! cool!

it definitely did not help her case. clearly, nobody cared about what was going on between them, but paige was still nervous. it was rude, if anything, to be overly absorbed in one person at a group hangout. 

what also definitely did not help her case was the fact that azzi didn’t move her hand at all. for the next hour, azzi’s hand just rested on top of her thigh, tightening minutely as she laughed, absentmindedly fidgeting, and paige felt as red as a tomato and twice as wet as one. or whatever. 

past a certain point, she could almost forget about it; then, azzi would crack a joke too loud, and someone’s eyes would move from her face down to where her arm was slightly too far away from her own body, and someone would raise an eyebrow at her. whatever! whatever. 

slowly, people peeled off, paying for their own meals and excusing themselves to go home. eventually, it was just arike, paige, and azzi. 

paige was grateful that arike was there– she and azzi weren’t paying any special attention to each other, and minus the hand on her thigh, the interactions between them were perfectly friendly. it was three people settling deeper into their dynamic, talking life and firsts and basketball, and it was chill. 

it wasn’t even her fault that her and azzi had parked next to each other, and arike had parked down the street. 

when they left the bar, she and azzi lingered outside of their respective cars for a few minutes too long. paige leaned against her door, a casual elbow resting on her side mirror. 

“arike’s so funny,” azzi said quietly, lips curving upward. 

jesus, she was beautiful. paige’s brain took a mental snapshot. the short distance between them felt much bigger after their proximity all night, and paige wanted so badly to touch her again, to be close to her. 

“she’s aight,” paige shrugged, a lopsided smile on her face. “you know she’s real stubborn sometimes.”

“aren’t we all?” azzi asked with a laugh, and paige nodded. 

“for real, though, you’re really lucky to have her as your vet. on the personal level, she’s been through it all. ups, downs, getting overlooked….anger issues,” paige said, seriously. 

azzi snorted. “and being a lesbian. publicly. that’s pretty cool.”

“everyone’s a lesbian, bro.”

“yeah, but not everyone is open about it. i’m not. it’s brave.”

paige had to agree. “yeah. it is.”

“especially because, y’know, until recently nobody really watched us. the stereotype was that we were all dykes. nobody wanted to watch a league full of dykes. and now they do watch us, and there’s so much hatred being brought into our space, and she’s still proudly who she is. that’s really fucking cool.” 

paige looked at her, her eyes wide and earnest, and felt something in her chest soften. “you should tell her that,” she agreed quietly, “i think she’d love to hear it.”

azzi shrugged. “someday.”

“tomorrow, first thing at practice,” paige smiled.

“fat chance,” azzi rolled her eyes. 

they looked at each other for a minute, quiet and soft. 

“i should get going,” azzi said, eventually. 

“you should,” paige agreed.

they stood there for another moment. paige grinned. azzi mirrored her expression. 

“seriously,” azzi insisted. 

“sure,” paige nodded. neither of them moved. 

a feeling passed through paige that was too gentle to handle, and she finally shook her head and stepped forwards, arms wide. “c’mere,” she muttered. 

azzi stepped into her arms, hugging her goodbye. 

“i’ll see you at practice tomorrow,” paige said, cheek pressed up against azzi’s hair. 

“yep,” azzi agreed from somewhere next to paige’s neck, “don’t be late.”

“i’m never late.”

“you were late to this.”

“this isn’t practice.”

“well, you better practice being on time, because i better see you tomorrow.”

“bro, i’m gonna be there,” paige complained, finally pulling back. neither of their hands quite left the other, still in each other’s space. 

azzi’s face was a few breaths from paige’s, just below her, luminescent under the street lamps. her eyes were dark, wide and bright, and she was smiling again, and paige’s chest did some awful squeezing motion that almost knocked her breathless. 

she looked down at azzi’s lips. her eyes darted back up to azzi’s eyes in a fraction of a second, trying not to overstep, but azzi’s gaze was pointed right at her mouth. 

okay. she should kiss her. 

azzi had just spent an hour feeling up her thigh. azzi was looking up at her like she’d hung the moon. azzi’s hands were still around her back. 

she wanted to kiss her. 

azzi was right there, beautiful, perfect, and it would be so easy to just lean down and take her lips in a kiss–

right. paige was overthinking. all she had to do was lean down– or– wait. should she ask her first? was azzi the sort of person who assumed a kiss was okay, or was she someone who wanted to be asked? shit, if paige asked, would it be good, or would it ruin the moment– or– god, she should just do it, fuck– 

azzi moved her gaze back up to paige’s. she searched her eyes, pausing, and for a moment everything was still; then, at the same time, they both pulled away. 

“bye,” paige tried to say, but no sound came out. their hands dragged against each other for a heartbeat too long. 

see you tomorrow, azzi mouthed at her. she gave her one last smile before disappearing into her car. 

paige felt like a marionette, limbs uncoordinated and jerky as she forced herself back into her own car. she fumbled with the ignition for a moment, cursing under her breath. 

out of the corner of her eye, she saw azzi’s car back out of the parking lot and disappear. immediately, she groaned and slumped against the steering wheel. she sat like that for five full minutes, feeling pathetic and miserable and like a giant fucking loser. finally, she straightened up and put on her seatbelt. 

“FUCK!” she yelled, slamming her fist against the horn. BRAAM, her car protested loudly. she jumped. 

—

paige’s mouthguard hung halfway out of her mouth. she bent over challengingly, hands on her knees, eyebrow cocked. 

azzi smirked, dribbling the ball between her legs once, twice. she bent her knees like she was going to move forward, pretending to fake paige out. 

“go,” paige called out. her voice echoed in the gym. “you playing or just showing off?”

azzi shrugged, keeping the ball moving. “doesn’t matter. you can’t guard me either way.”

someone behind paige whistled, and paige narrowed her eyes. her gaze landed on the sweat on azzi’s collarbone. her bicep. her thigh. she shook her head. 

azzi started forwards, and paige sucked her mouthguard back in, hands immediately out. azzi stopped, grinned, and went the other way. 

fuck no. paige dogged her determinedly, fighting through a li screen and trying to get her hand on the ball before azzi shot. as her hand came down, azzi passed it to maddy on the three-point line. shit. she caught paige’s gaze and smiled, and there was a glint in her eye that sent a jolt down paige’s spine.

the ball bounced off the backboard to alanna, who shot it back to maddy. 

odyssey got in maddy’s face, and paige saw azzi’s body turn before the idea even came to maddy’s head. paige knew azzi’s catch-and-shoot, knew she was going to release it immediately–

the ball flew to azzi and paige was already jumping as azzi moved the ball up. azzi pivoted, turning past paige and sprinting in for a clean layup. 

absolutely not. paige hit the ground running, chasing her back, following the movement of her arm up, and BAM. 

the ball slammed back down to the earth before it had the chance to fly for more than half a second. paige’s chest pounded with exhilaration, and she shot azzi a cocky look as she turned on her heel. 

azzi, usually known for being calm and collected, looked pissed. it made something in paige’s stomach churn. she couldn’t stop a wild grin from taking over her face as she waited for azzi’s team to inbound the ball. her heart pounded. this was fun. 

alanna inbounded to arike. jessica ran a screen on odyssey. arike to alanna, paige shifted, alanna to maddy, paige shifted. 

her eyes, focused on the ball, never strayed for long from azzi. she looked intense and determined, brows furrowed and face flushed with exertion. she looked godlike. 

maddy to azzi, outside the arc, and before paige could blink, azzi nailed a three over her head. 

she froze, dumbfounded. how–? 

azzi backpedaled and winked at her. paige wanted to tear her clothes off. 

“that’s game! arike’s team, twenty points. water break,” jose yelled.

“she traveled,” paige complained weakly, but she knew it was a lie. she thought of azzi’s shirt riding up her stomach as she jumped up for the shot. she couldn’t think straight.

arike raised an eyebrow at her. “that’s it? no hitting the wall? no yelling? just a ‘she travelled?’” she clicked her tongue. “you’re soft on her.”

“no, i’m not,” paige grumbled, eyes flicking over to azzi. azzi grinned at her, reaching over and hitting her lower back. the touch rippled through paige like fucking sonar, and she needed to leave stat before her brain drove her absolutely insane. 

arike snorted.

“whatever,” paige muttered. “i left something in the car. be right back.”

ducking the rest of the group, she jogged out of the practice facility doors and through the hallway that led to the parking lot. she pushed open the exit, desperately fanning herself. she kept thinking about azzi’s face, determined, her perfect shot, how unfairly fucking attractive it was for her to be so good. 

she walked over to her car and rested her forearm against it, putting her head down for a fraction of a second before yelping at the hot metal and drawing back. she deserved that, she thought miserably, for being incapable of having normal, friendly thoughts about–

“paige!” azzi called out, walking out of the facility. 

jesus christ. this was not going to help. “hm?” she tried, unable to say much else. 

“oh,” azzi shrugged, “you left your phone inside.” she held it out, waiting for paige to take it from her. 

paige stared at her, trying to read her expression. slowly, she took her phone from azzi’s hand, letting their fingers brush together for longer than strictly necessary. 

“you know i don’t need my phone to get something from my car, right?” she didn’t even need to get anything from her car. she just needed some air.

“i know,” azzi said, matter of fact. “i just wanted to see you.”

paige held back a laugh. “you just saw me.”

“sure did.”

“and you came out here in the scorching hot sun to see me again.”

“is there a problem with that?” azzi challenged, stepping closer to her. her eyes sparkled mirthfully. paige wanted to swallow them whole. 

“depends.”

“depends on what?”

silence. 

paige couldn’t take it anymore. azzi was so– and– she was right there, and there were no excuses, there was nobody around– paige didn’t just want it, she needed it. azzi was a fire and paige had to stoke it, needed to breathe life into this thing that was driving her fucking mad. 

azzi raised an eyebrow at her, and paige stared back helplessly. they were so close, hovering on the verge but not quite daring to fall over it, and she was going to do it, she was finally going to do it, fuck it, she was going to ask–

“can i–”

azzi interrupted her by kissing her full on the mouth.  

paige felt like she was bursting into flames. azzi’s lips on hers were hot, perfect, firm and absolutely sure of what she wanted. paige’s hands clung to her waist like it was keeping her on earth, kissing back for all she was worth.  

it was whatever paige had fantasized about since the moment azzi had walked into practice on the first day, letting her hand linger in paige’s for a second too long when they shook hands. it was perfect. paige was fucking melting.

after a moment, azzi pulled back. “god, i’ve been waiting for you for months. you’re such an idiot.”

“well,” paige shrugged, “did it live up to the hype?”

“i need a second opinion.” azzi kissed her again, and paige smiled so wide she nearly broke their lips apart, and azzi only kissed her harder, and paige felt so happy she could fucking die. 

yeah, she could get used to this. 

___

[11:04 am]

arike: u massive liar

arike: “i need something outside” headass yeah needed some TONGUE

arike: i can see u thru the window  

[11:05 am]

arike: u dont get paid to kiss women on the clock get a move on

[11:14 am]

arike: dang let that lady ass go

[11:23 am]