FLORIDA GIRL SHITTTTTTT!!!!
Iâm still turnt off this

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@the-yazmanian-devil
FLORIDA GIRL SHITTTTTTT!!!!
Iâm still turnt off this

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When you die, you appear in a cinema with a number of other people who look like you. You find out that they are your previous reincarnations, and soon you all begin watching your next life on the big screen.
too much
My previous incarnations throwing popcorn at the screen and booing: this bitch is fucking stupid!!!
it's been said before in better terms but social media platforms like instagram make us in a constant competition with ourselves. all we have to look back on is our own glorified version of the past that makes you pine for something that was never perfect to begin with. thus, whenever you're not having a day that's like one of the many amazing days that you have kept a public log of, you feel unproductive and like you're wasting your time. guilting yourself for existing rather than taking advantage of life. as if you don't deserve that time to yourself and you shouldn't have any ugly days. it's a constant cycle of hating the present for not being like the past despite also hating the past when it previously was the present.

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The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off
The spy is following me as I walk down the street. I bob in and out of shops. Pause and accelerate my pace randomly. Stop to tie my shoe so he loses sight of me. I stay perfectly out of his reach. This is all due to being sleep deprived, confused, hungry, and lost
The spy freezes my bank account. I do not notice for three weeks and only because Netflix sends me an email about non-payment
The spy chasing me does a stakeout at my house. After 4 days of trying to match my sleeping pattern he has to call HQ for backup
What did you do that requires a spy to follow you so thoroughly?
Honestly I have no idea. My best guess is that it's a misunderstanding
Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii (Chapter 10) by Konishi Asuka.
CMON SEWING CLASS LETS GET SICKENING
death drop!!
ASHTRAY, FEZCO, ALI AND JULE'S DAD ARE THE ONLY MEN I RESPECT FROM EUPHORIA AND THAT'S ON THAT

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The Sweetest Taste
Erik âKillmongerâ Stevens x Reader (note: reader will always be black and 90% of the time bitch gone be chubby too)
Warnings: Literally just smut with some daddy kink thrown in for the hell of it this is my first fanfiction is years so be gentle with me
Synopsis: Reader is a little inexperienced and Erik is more than willing to teach her everything she needs to know about fucking
Youâre unsure of how the two of you got on the topic. One moment were chilling on the couch with Friday playing in the background, quoting all your favorite lines to each other, and then the next Erik is asking whenâs the last time you got laid. He asked like it was a normal thing. The quick change of subject was enough to make your head spin.
âSo let me get this straight, you ainât never had your pussy ate?â The vulgar way he puts it has you averting your eyes. âAnd you ainât a virgin?â
You can feel the embarrassment heating up your body. Youâve only admitted that to a few people. Itâs safe to say that youâre ashamed to say that youâve only had sex twice in your 25 years and neither of those times included someone going down on you. It was pathetic.
âYou gotta explain that cause the shits not adding up to me, baby girl.â He spreads an arm on the back of the couch as he turns his body to face you a little more.
You rub your lips together and shake your head. You refused to go through all of that. Least of all with him.
âWhat you acting all shy for? Itâs just you and me.â
You clear your throat, looking towards the tv as if the movie is truly holding your attention. The two of you had been hanging out for a few months now and he somehow always managed to pull personal information out of you but you were set in your stubbornness now and you werenât telling him a damn thing about a damn thing.
âYou too grown to be acting like this.â Sure, he had a point but that wasnât going to make you talk. âSpeak.â
The word comes out a burst of anger and it nearly makes you jump. This wasnât the first time this had happened. Each time it had in the past, it left you clenching your thighs together. This time was no different.
You drop your head against the back of the couch. âSeriously, E, why do you want to know?â
âCause Iâm tryna figure out what kinda niggas you been fucking with. Did you even cum?â
His tone is light and you know heâs joking but youâre not laughing. Instead, you cover your face with your hands and groan. Just when you thought this moment couldnât get anymore embarrassing.
You feel him wrap a hand around around your wrist and pull a hand away from your face. The other is soon to follow. Thereâs a long pause before you finally open your eyes to look at him.
âWhat the fuck was you doing the whole time? Just laying there?â
âPretty much yeah.â
âYou been fucking with some sorry ass niggas but donât even trip. Iâm bout to fix all that. Stand up.â
Your brows furrows as the confusion etches across your face. âWhat are you even talking about?â
âIâm about to eat the fuck outta that pussy.â Thereâs a flash of his gold fangs when he smirks that sends something flipping inside your belly. That fucking smile should be illegal.
âQuit playing.â You wave a hand, trying to dismiss the way heâs looking at you is making you feel.
âDo I look like Iâm playing?â You shake your head, unable to speak for a moment. âStand up then. Iâm not gone ask you again.â
Thereâs that tone that again. The very same one that makes you want to dry hump the nearest thing to you. Itâs hard to pretend like that deep timbre doesnât do something for you. You swallow the lump in your throat and you can feel your heart hammering away in your chest.
Before you have a chance to react, you feel him grabbing your arm and yanking you roughly off the couch causing you to squeal little. You find yourself standing in front of him, body overheating from the way heâs staring at you, and youâre completely unsure of what to do next.
âStrip for me, baby girl. Put on a lil show.â He leans back on the couch again, legs spread wide and arms resting to the side of him.
âYou want me to do what?â Your eyes grow wide and your stomach drops quickly.
He lets out a low chuckle and shakes his head. âIâm being generous and Iâm giving you the option. Either you can put on a show for Daddy, or I can take off your clothes for you and trust me you wonât want that shit.â
Daddy? That was brand new and you really shouldnât like the sound of it as much as you do, but you canât help yourself. The dark edge that his voice had when he said it sends your mind into overdrive and immediately makes you feel like your pussy has a heartbeat. You almost want to see whatâll happen if you donât listen and heâs forced to remove your clothes for you, but something tells you that you might not be ready for that just yet.
You start with your top, fumbling with the hem and struggling to pull it over your head. It isnât graceful, let alone sexy. You have no idea what the hell youâre doing. The times you had sex, they were both rushed and it was in the dark, leaving you unsatisfied. There wasnât anything sexy about either of those times. You canât help but think that you have to be the most inexperienced non virgin there is. Thatâs really just sad and shameful.
Your fingers are slipping inside the waistband of your leggings when he clears his throat forcing you to look up. Two fingers gesture for you to come close and so you do. Then his hands are gripping your hips, strong and hard, and pulling you down into his lap.
âYou still wanna act like you shy?â One hand moves up your side as his speaks, nails dragging up and down and leaving goosebumps behind. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you struggle on your knees to keep your weight off of him. You canât even look him in the eye when you shake your head. âItâs cool. Iâmma have you talking real nasty when Iâm done with you.â
You canât help but wonder what the hell youâve gotten yourself into. Youâre not allowed to wonder for long before his lips find their way to your skin, sucking and biting at the base of your neck. A soft whimper leaves your lips in a rush. Youâre focused on what his mouth is doing that youâre hardly paying attention to what his hands are doing as they unhook your bra with ease, tossing it across the room somewhere to be forgotten about.
Further down his lips move until theyâre able to wrap around one nipple. The way his tongue works around around it, teasing his teeth across it, sends jolts straight to your pussy. You didnât think it was possible to be so wet and yet here you were, damn near cumming from him just showing your titty a little attention.
You feel him moving towards the edge of the couch with one strong arm wrapped around you. In the same movement it takes him to stand, he has you on your back on the couch. All in one fluid motion that leaves you breathless.
Your eyes stay trained on him as you watch him yank down your leggings quickly, barely leaving you enough time to lift your hips. Your thighs immediately snap together to shield yourself. The sight of Erik on his knees in front of you licking his bottom lip causes another rush to flood from your pussy.
With his hands on your legs, he pulls you down the couch all the while spreading your legs. His firm grip wonât let you close them again no matter how hard you try. Heat rushes to your face when he pushes your thighs up to your chest. The way the position leaves you so exposed has you feeling a little embarrassed.
âWe gonna talk about how you was sitting on this juicy pussy this whole time and ainât have on no panties later. Believe that.â
âWha-â
Whatever you wanted to say dissolves into a startled moan as his tongue swipes across your clit. It takes you by surprise more than anything else. Your hips jerk and your teeth clamp down around your lip.
His tongue bathes your clit in slow strokes, deliberately teasing you and it was fucking working. He had barely started and he already had your body jerking underneath his touch. You could feel your body needing moreâŚ..craving more so you lift your hips up to close closer to his mouth. But it doesnât seem to work. A hand presses down against your lower stomach, effectively holding you in place.
âYou try and rush me again and Iâmma leave your ass right here and you wonât get shit. You hear me?â You nod your head. âNah, you answer me when I ask you a question.â
You hiss as his hand tightens around your thigh with his nails digging into your skin roughly. âI hear you.â
âYou hear me what?â
âI hear youâŚ.daddy.â
The flashes of gold that meet your eyes when his lips spread into a smile has your pussy clenching against nothing, but it lets you know you said the right thing. It takes all you have not to reach out and shove his head back down between your legs, but youâve never been that bold. Besides, youâll be damned if anything stops you from getting the orgasm you know is coming.
Your head falls back when his mouth is back on you again. This time, heâs not being gentle and thereâs nothing slow about the way his tongue is lapping at you clit. His whole mouth is damn near engulfing your pussy and youâre enjoying every second of it. Now you can see what youâve been missing out on. The tip of his tongue hits one particular spot that has you crying out in ecstasy. Then itâs gone and youâre whining out in frustration as your head snaps up to look down at him.
âWhat? Why youâd stop?â His mouth is literally just inches away and you canât even bring your hips up to meet it with the way heâs still holding you down.
âCause I need to see them pretty ass eyes while I eat this pussy, baby girl. Donât look away again.â
This nigga had so many rules, but you would follow them all if it meant he was going to make you cum. You didnât care. âI hear you, Daddy.â
His own response is a low growl that has you shuddering as you imagine what it might be like to have that sound right next to you ear while heâs so deep inside your shit you might just be able to feel him in your stomach. Youâve never experienced that before but if anyone could do it, youâre sure itâs Erik.
The struggle the keep your eyes open and on him comes when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking it into his mouth. Your hands fly to the back of his head and for a second you debate on pushing him away because this is far more than you thought it would be, but instead you find yourself trying to push his head closer for that very same reason.
His mouth lifts off of you just long enough for him spit on your pussy. He honest to god spits and itâs fucking disgusting. You want him to do it again.
The way his eyes are staring into yours is only making this entire experience that much more overwhelming for you. The moans that are leaving your mouth arenât one that you have to fake like youâve done in the past. Youâre whimpering and groaning and you would be begging if you could actually form the words to do so.
Itâs not long before his fingers are joining his mouth. One finger first and then a second one joins not long after. You would be mad about his mouth leaving your pussy if his fingers werenât currently stretching you open and his thumb replaces his tongue at your clit. With his mouth gone, you can feel the cool air whipping around your wetness and it causes you to inhale sharply.
âFuck, baby girl. You squeezing the shit outta Daddyâs fingers. You must like this shit.â Each word is punctuated by a thrust of his fingers. âYou ainât even gotta answer. I can tell just from how you gushing all over my hand.â Curling them, he hits a certain spot that has you clawing at the couch cushions and moaning louder than ever. âTalk to meâŚyou gotta tell me what you want.â Erikâs breath hits your skin as he lower his mouth to the inside of your thigh and it shouldnât feel as good as it does.
âI want you toâŚâ Your words are swallowed up with another moan as you struggle to find your breath long enough to talk. âI want you to make my pussy cum, Daddy.â
âYou want me to make whoâs pussy cum?â His finger slow and something dark flashes in his eyes. You know you have one shot to say the right thing or this is all over.
âI want you to make your pussy cum, Daddy.â His finger speed back up and you nearly let out a sigh of relief, but youâre whimpering instead.
âThatâs right. This is my shit now.â And the way he says it, you canât help but think he truly believes his own words. Itâs a barbaric way to mark his territory and you fucking love it. âYou gone be my good girl, huh?â
âYesâŚshit yes. Just please donât stop.â It didnât matter what he asked you to be whether it was a good girl or a dirty ass slut. You would agree to whatever he said in that matter. âWhatever you want, Daddy.â
âSay less.â
His mouth is back on your pussy, working in perfect unison with his fingers. The dual stimulation has you writhing underneath him, giving off porn star moans that you couldnât hold back even if you wanted to. Your hands are on the back of his head trying to hold him down because you would probably deck him in his shit if he tried to stop right now. Your hips are grinding against his mouth and his chin and his fingers all in the hopes of making yourself cum. You canât even be sure if what youâre doing looks good from his point of view and you donât even care.
âOh fuck, Daddy. Iâm gonna cum.â
He groans out what you believe is approval and a hand slaps roughly against your thigh. âCum then, baby girl. Get that nut.â
Itâs as if youâre body is trained to him and that was all you needed to hear to cum on command. Your walls tighten around his fingers and youâre cumming so hard that you canât even make a sound. You sit there with your mouth wide open and no sound coming out as the onslaught of pleasure all but rips through your body. Your thighs are twitching and your chest is rising and falling rapidly.
His fingers are still moving inside you, teasing at your gspot, and his mouth is still wrapped around your clit. He doesnât stop and youâre forced to push his head away.
âDid I say I was done?â
âI need a break.â You finally let your head drop to the back of the couch once more, pushing damp pieces of hair out of your face. Your hair is probably messed all the way up.
âDamn, you tryna tap out already?â Heâs laughing and you canât even do anything but nod your head. âAinât no tapping out tonight. Not yet. Iâm gonna teach that thick ass how to ride my face.â
Fuck.
Kompa đđšđ
Haitian culture is so extra in everything that they do đđ
Her and her gorgeous eyes.

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rip santa.
Working in Retail in under 3 minutes
i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb
transcript: âSo we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And theyâre like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic⌠like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleepâ and they donât include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams âfestive holiday cheerâ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothinâ will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and sheâs like, âDo you have these?â and Iâm like, âOh my god, yeah!â So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, âIâm not racist, butâŚâ and Iâm like, well, I canâtâ Iâm not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if likeâ if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, weâre talking about Santa. Likeâ (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, Iâm in like, Iâ the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, âThis is not right.â and Iâm like, okay, Iâm sorry, but this is what the picture was. And sheâs like, âNo. Santa is white.â And Iâm like, oh no, okay. Okay. So Iâm inâ Iâm about to tell her, Iâm like, mid-sentence, like, âIâm sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.â And sheâs like, âThis is wrong, I want them taken down.â She interrupts me, says that, and Iâm like, (pause). I like, look around, and Iâm like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, Iâm like, âI canât take these Santas down.â And sheâs like, âWhy not?!â And Iâm like, âYou either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.â And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, becauseâ (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesusâs face, like, slammed right in the middle as a designâ itâs bigâ she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down⌠and Iâm like, oh my god! Whatâ what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and Iâm like, âMaâam, maâam, you need to leave, you need to stop, or Iâm going to have to call someone.â So she like, stops, and sheâs like, beet red, and like, huffinâ and puffinâ, and she like, looks at me and I can tell sheâs just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and sheâs like, âThe Santa I know is white.â And then she walks away. And Iâm like, wellâ Iâm processing whatâs happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santaâs not real. So unless youâre using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, Iâm like, thatâs pretty impressive, but how ya doinâ that. And, um, Iâ the last thought that ran through my mind is that, Iâm like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.â
ââTis the season