my jovian plutonian gravitational effect

this is just a rant tumblr so disclaimer: it will be random and it will be weird. if you still wanna tag along then welcome to the roller coaster ride called ‘life’

If you wanna read my actual blog then the link to my real tumblr page is right here…

I’m so relieved my finals are over and I have finally finished 2nd year!!

Studies this year were hard. The subjects were superrrr vast and they did not teach nearly enough which left us to fend for ourselves a month before the mocks… that was hard.

The year had been really hard for me… not just academically but mentally too. So many things were happening and I was just so exhausted trying my best to balance everything because I didn’t want to give up on people.

But now that I’m home, it’s just me and my parents and its such a warm reminder that I will always be placed at the centre of their little happy place because they love me so much.

And then there is my best friend whom I can finally meet and hug and pounce on while I narrate my life by the second to her.

And I could not be more grateful for them all.

As I have already posted before… my finals are just at my doorstep and I cannot do this anymore! I’m so tired and sleepless but I have soo much syllabus left to revise. But I gots do this and do this well!! 🧠🫁🫀

I just created this medblr community … feel free to join and share with ur frnds!!

I just hope we can have a community of medstudents and medicos and like minded people where we can share study methods and anecdotes and our struggles and make friends from all over the world! ☺️

16 days to universities left :

I have a mountain of syllabus of revise before my 2nd year mbbs finals so let’s get to it!

Two days left for my 2nd year MBBS prelims. We are all going bazookas here. 🎀 🎀

I have digested more than 50 pharmac drugs in the last 24 days and I kid you not, cephalosporins haunted me in my dreams last night… T^T

But we will all get through it together… sitting and studying together, crying together, waking each other up to study, then taking breaks, calling each other up to fight about food and dancing around our rooms.

Aren’t WBCs just WBCs?? Why do they have soooooo many different types of cancers in there?? 😭

As my friend and I sat there with my senior discussing the case, the realisation hit me like a firetruck. I felt sick enough to puke.

Medicine is really hard on days like this. On days when, even though you know, you realise medschool is not fucking easy. And you are not fucking special. Its more than good grades and knowing the few frequently asked diseases for the exam.

Its about racking you brain to come up with all possible the DDs of a dry gangrene (if you manage to recognise it at all in the first place) in the middle of the night as your senior takes an unprompted viva to get ur brain working.

On days like this you realise it’s not just taking in the information. On days like this theory becomes faded as your mind becomes blank… and you realise clinical knowledge is still far out of reach from you.

There is a knowledge gap yes ofc but what you do know, you cannot correlate or join the dots or form the picture yourself.

I wanted to cry. So I did. I sat there, angry at myself, and took it out on my friend who sat there quietly and listened to my bullshit silently till I was done and exhausted. When I was done he shook me by my shoulders. Because he knew this too…

Then I shut the fuck up, ended my pity party and got down the working again because that’s the only thing I can do. That’s what we need to do.

But I think days like this are essential in medschool. Where nobody can soften the blow or laugh it off saying you will manage just fine the night before the exam… reality hits you and it hits you hard.

Days like this make you sit your ass down and study. Days like this scare you. They make you realise, in the harshest way possible, that you are not special. Not god. That you will not be able to save all your patients no matter how hard you study but, more certainly, you will not be able to save any of your patients if you do not study hard enough. Days like this shape your efforts.

Just bought a massive whiteboard and stuck it to my wall so I can teach every medical concept on planet earth to my soft toys and then further go on to pretend that my doubts are their doubts and try to find their answers… just so I can do well in my exams. 🥂🥂

made a study den and had the most productive day of my life. I never thought it was humanly possible for me to study this much in one day.

Watching my fav drama for an hour at 2:00 am after studying the whole day felt like the best and the sweetest reward ever!! 🥂🥂

I feel so motivated after such a good day to make today amazing too! 💕

1/30 days to prelims:

Sat down and planned my study schedule today… It will take me exactly 30 days to finish my entire syllabus thoroughly which will leave me with 7 days to revise before my 2nd Year medschool prelims begin.

Once again the goal is to study hard and get well-deserved scores that will make me proud 🪽🪽

Being able to sit on your bed and truly enjoy the things that made you start is a different feel altogether.

I think somewhere in there we lose the twinkle in our eyes. Specially in med school. But studying because you want to, because it excites you is… wow. Attending a lecture not on your course, doing an activity other than classes, taking an extra history during postings. Not because you have to or because exams are coming up.

June 3, 2024, Monday

Day 17 of 100 Days of Productivity (contd.) 🪴

It’s been a really good day! Aced most of it considering it was my first day back at this.

Here’s what my day looked like:

Did an hour and a half of workout and yoga early in the morning

Ate morning health blessings - dates, walnuts, soaked peas, anjeer and almonds

Sat down and ranted with my roommate for an hour completely forgetting I have college to get to 😳

Walked to my first day of Paediatrics posting which by the way was absolutely fantastic

Finished college lectures for the day

Discussed my research project with my professor and mentor

Came back to my hostel room, took a half an our break and danced to old love songs 😋

Sat down to study Pharmacology and got up straight for dinner

Was super tired so called it a day early but I’m gonna wake up early the next day!

It’s only the first day which makes saying big things seem like throwing words around but it already feels so good.

Haven’t felt this satisfied with myself in a pretty long time. So hopefully I’ll keep this up and ace this year academically 🦦

24th March 2024 | Sunday

Day 16 of 100 Days of Productivity 🪴

Lots and lots of studying

Sleeping like a log cause my body was literally aching.

Some pretending to be dead on my bed so that my roommates would ignore my existence and give me some ‘me’ time to process my life

23rd March 2024 | Saturday

Day 15 of 100 Days of Productivity 🪴

Okay. I want to break the custom today. Instead of everything that I did today, I want to talk about one of the best moments of today and probably my whole life. 🐾

I joined medschool in October 2022, scared and excited about what life had in store me. I was excited to join the clubs (specially debating).

March 2023 we get the invite for the debate society of our college and of course I jump and join the boat.

Got to know later on that our uni didn’t have much of the club culture and we were the only actively functioning club. More that that, the club had just started with us. It was the first year and we were the first members.

Nonetheless, the president was good at debating and willing to help me improve and that was all I needed. 🍄

I soon became a core founding member of the Society. The society secured a place in my heart. End of 2023, the founder president was entering internship and wanted to step down from Presidency post his current term. He urged me to stand for the elections. So I did. I am currently the Debsoc President.

Today is the 1st year anniversary of our Debsoc. I am so proud. We are going out to celebrate. ✨

I remember my senior (founder president) and myself get to emotional when we saw the logo we had designed on that cake; when we lit that golden 1 candle; when the whole debsoc sang.

The past one year was different. It was like our child and it was so difficult to keep it alive. People kept leaving, admin issues and more and more. But we never gave up. 🫧

Amongst the 50 initial members of Debsoc, 5 of us kept at it. Our club is still here. And the club is us. And we are the club. That’s why in my mind, even if it’s just the 5 of us, we already have the club. To me we are the Debsoc OGs of our university…

And I am thankful. This society and these people kept me going. When I was alone and friendless and clueless and scared, they kept me looking up at the stars. I knew no matter what I went through, every Thursday of every week, I would meet these guys and they would be my people.

22nd March 2024 | Friday

Day 14 of 100 Days of Productivity 🪴

PSM posting

pathology lecture

microbiology lecture

skipped the last half of the day to do some self study sessions in my room

21st March 2024 | Thursday

Day 13 of 100 Days of Productivity 🪴

Skipped PSM posting to study

god screamed at by my senior on call. for my good though ☺️ he cares

Had a pharmacology lecture and god! I was so embarrassed… we were on the first bench and the prof gave such a hilarious example that me and my friends burst out laughing like maniacs 🫣

Microbiology practical… it was sooooo long but it was good