Sometimes I think about Felldoh.
He was the first character where I actually had to put the book down to process. He died with a smile on his face, a broken javelin in each paw, and surrounded by a score of corpses. He was my favourite character in Martin the Warrior, and to go out like that, so close to killing Badrang, felt like a knife in the stomach.
But then I remember how angry he was. How he went out, against the wishes of his friends, to settle this himself. How he didn’t want to leave Marshank until everyone was free. How he attacked Badrang once he was within grabbing range. How he took out a bunch of the soldiers Badrang set out to kill him if the tyrant started to lose. How he was still smiling after he was already gone.
Felldoh never would have been happy in the world his friends strove to achieve. He was far too blinded by anger and hatred. It was all he really knew. His death, surrounded by enemies, fighting on his own, was the only way he would have wanted to go out. He showed his weapons with the intention of using them. He forced Badrang to see what he’d created. He died enacting the wrath he had contained for so long. If he had killed Badrang and his soldiers, even cleared out the whole fortress, he wouldn’t have been satisfied.
Martin’s remark at the end of the book stuck with me for that very reason. There was too much suffering, pain, and hatred, that he decided it was best to never tell of what happened at Marshank. Felldoh was driven by pure fury. He loathed to think that Badrang was still breathing, no matter where he was. Martin knew that. He had seen it firsthand, and knew that pain like this was something no goodbeast should have to hear. It wasn’t denying what happened, it was for everyone who died. Badrang doesn’t deserve to be remembered. That’s what Felldoh was working to achieve.
I think that’s what really made Martin the Warrior worth it. The depth of Brian Jacques’ characters, especially here, is what made me love the series so much. These aren’t the typical heroes you find in most other fantasy or adventure books. These are people in a world that really feels alive. Each book has its own unique charm, so many characters, conflicts, dynamics, and stories, all of which mix together beautifully. The food descriptions weren’t the only thing Jacques was good at.
He’s the reason I love to write. He’s the reason I love to read. He’s the reason I’m doing anything with my life at all. Every paragraph I write, every line I draw, every idea I have, it all comes back to these friendly little forest creatures and their red abbey walls. I usually don’t get emotional over media, but Brian Jacques completely changed that for me. Just with one character, my entire perspective on media as a whole changed, and I think that’s something I need to embrace a little more.
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