The Internalized "Star of Misfortune"
(An Analysis of hua cheng childhood trauma)
In developmental psychology, a child’s self-concept is a mirror of their environment. For Hong-er, that mirror was shattered. Labeled the "star of misfortune," he was physically abused, neglected, and told his very existence was a curse.
When children are told they are inherently bad or unlucky, they often internalize this as an immutable truth. This results in toxic shame the belief that one is fundamentally flawed. As an adult, Hua Cheng’s "cocky" exterior serves as a sophisticated defense mechanism. By projecting an image of untouchable perfection, he ensures that no one can get close enough to see the ugly, unlucky child he believes still resides within him.
E-ming: The Physical Manifestation of Self-Loathing
The most striking evidence of Hua Cheng’s unresolved trauma is his relationship with his scimitar, E-ming. Formed from his own eye and fueled by his suffering in the Kiln, E-ming is more than a weapon; it is a sentient fragment of his childhood self.
The Mirror of Abuse: Hua Cheng’s tendency to scold or strike E-ming when the blade seeks affection from Xie Lian is a classic example of displaced aggression. He punishes E-ming for showing the very things Hong-er was punished for: vulnerability, neediness, and the desire for love.
The Rejected Inner Child:When E-ming trembles or "cries," it represents the emotions Hua Cheng has spent eight centuries suppressing. By treating the blade with disdain, he is effectively trying to "beat the weakness" out of his own soul, replicating the cycle of abuse he suffered as a child.
The Power Paradox: Ghost King vs. "Lowly Servant"
Despite possessing power that rivals or exceeds the gods, Hua Cheng’s self-esteem remains tethered to his identity as a "worthless" child. This creates a fascinating psychological dichotomy:
Devotion as Redefinition: To Hua Cheng, Xie Lian is not just a lover; he is the god who told a suicidal child that his life had meaning. Therefore, Hua Cheng views his vast power not as a source of pride, but as a **utility** to serve Xie Lian.
The "Lowly" Identity: When he calls himself a "lowly servant" or "trash," it isn't false modesty it is his core truth. In his mind, no amount of spiritual might can wash away the "dirt" of the star of misfortune. His power is a suit of armor, but underneath it, he still feels like the boy who is unworthy of touching the hem of a god's robes.
Trauma often freezes a person's self-perception at the age the trauma occurred. To Hua Cheng, Xie Lian is the only thing of value in a "monstrous" world. Therefore, by comparison, Hua Cheng believes his own worth is zero.
"To me, the one in the internal glory is you; the one fallen into the dust is also you. What matters is 'you' and not the state of you."
While Xie Lian says this to Hua Cheng (and vice versa), Hua Cheng struggles to apply this grace to himself. His philosophy is one of extreme external competence masking internal fragility.
Hua Cheng’s life is a masterclass in the survivor’s paradox. He has changed his name, his face, and his status, yet he carries his childhood scars as the literal source of his power. His cockiness is a fortress built to protect a child who still believes he is "ugly" and "cursed."
He does not love Xie Lian despite his trauma, but through it. Xie Lian is the only person who ever looked at the "Star of Misfortune" and saw a life worth saving. Until Hua Cheng can stop hitting E-ming until he can forgive the child he used to be he will always be the "lowly servant," forever trying to earn a grace he was already given eight hundred years ago.
